Approach Anxiety – 7 Powerful Ways To Overcome It
I’ve personally been coaching single men to have more confidence with women for many years now, and the one sticking point which prevents most of us from meeting more women is called “approach anxiety“. In short it’s a fear that pretty well all of us have when faced with the daunting task of approaching women who we find physically attractive.
In my experience the reason why so many of us suffer from this ordeal is because of fear. When we approach new women we are faced with many different potential issues including an apprehension of being rejected, a worry of not being good enough and a fear of humiliation.
Over the years I’ve personally tried, tested and also coached pretty well every single conceivable way to overcome approach anxiety and here are my seven most powerful ways.
Approach Anxiety #1: Understanding The Emotion
To give us a better understanding of exactly what happens in our bodies and our minds when we are feeling approach anxiety I interviewed top psychologist Khody Damestani. My aim from the following video was to shed some light into the intricacies of our anxiety before asking for some scientifically proven coping strategies.
Interestingly enough as Khody explains there are indeed two separate anxieties that affect us when we consider approaching women. One is called cognitive anxiety which are our mental symptoms, and the other is called somatic anxiety which are our physical symptoms.
This illuminates why some strategies work well for some of us but leave the rest of us feeling frustrated, dejected and lacking the confidence to learn how to start a conversation with a girl. As a direct result of this knowledge, we are now able to establish which specific anxiety we are suffering from, and then employ a precise antidote in the confidence that it’ll work for us individually.
Approach Anxiety #2: A Structure To Follow
The following video was filmed during one of our pua training courses which we hosted in Madrid as part of our yearly European Tour. In the footage you’ll see some specific advice explaining why having a solid structure when we are approaching women reduces our approach anxiety.
Many of us focus too far ahead into an interaction before we have even taken the first step towards talking to a new girl. When we introduce a step by step blueprint in how to approach women, we are then able to follow the principles one step at a time leaving our minds in the present moment and anxiety free.
In this video as you can see we use our sunglasses as a way of pausing before we start to speak. The simple act of focusing on removing our sunglasses allows us to focus on our structure at the most crucial part of a new interaction.
Approach Anxiety #3: Visualisations
In the following interview as part of our YouTube TV show I’m posed the question of how to overcome anxiety when learning how to attract women. This highlights the fact that men across the globe all suffer from the same type of psychological concern.
In this interview I explain that visualations can be a very powerful tool to help us to overcome our fears and our worries. It’s important to note that simply visualising ourselves approaching women with zero anxiety is likely to lead to further issues when we are faced with the real prospect.
I’ve come to recognise that the best way to visualise to overcome our anxiety is to imagine ourselves feeling anxious but to make the approach anyway. This way when we see a girl that we would like to approach we already know that a little anxiety is not going to prevent us from speaking with her.
Approach Anxiety #4: Acting Immediately
The time between seeing an attractive girl and feeling anxious is normally between 2-3 seconds. This knowledge offers us a great insight as to how we can use speed as a way of learning how to get a girl to like you when we are feeling nervous.
In this video I explain how the principle of being in a rush allows us to overcome our anxiety before we begin to feel it in our bodies. If we are able to approach women within two seconds then we can eradicate our anxiety before it arises.
The other benefit of feeling like we are in a rush is that it immediately limits our time talking to women. One of the best ways to instantly become more attractive is to value our time, as a result our whole demeanor and body language will come across as more self assured.
Approach Anxiety #5: Thought Field Therapy (TFT)
Thought Field Therapy works in a similar fashion to acupuncture, but rather than focusing on physical symptoms it focuses on emotional symptoms. As we can see in the following video below by tapping on a sequence of meridian points on our body, we are able to alleviate our anxiety in a simple and effective manner which makes learning how to compliment a girl far simpler.
TFT is an extremely powerful tool which I have been using for many years to cure a host of different emotional issues. Anytime I react to a situation emotionally I use TFT to reduce the emotional intensity of my bodies response, leaving me feeling more relaxed next time around.
In my experience this type of therapy is one of the most powerful self development tools which I have come across. The range of emotions which we able to heal in such a short period of time leaves me recommending it to every single client who attends our live training courses.
Approach Anxiety #6: Our Past Experiences
We’ve all had situations in the past where we’ve felt out of our depth talking to an attractive girl. Perhaps we have run out of what to say, muddled our words or worst of all the girl simply ignored our entire approach approach.
On our daygame courses we explain that when we are thinking of approaching new women our mind immediately looks for memories of similar situations from our past. This is where all of our previous successes and failures come to light within a few seconds of deliberating if we are going to start a new conversation.
When we have a step by step structure to follow our minds are no longer stuck in the past. We are now in the moment completely focused on the next step of our structure. The end result is that our anxiety diminishes because we are able to shift our minds focus away from our anxiety and fix it directly upon on plan.
Approach Anxiety #7: Rational Emotive Therapy (RET)
Rational Emotive Therapy is another scientifically proven strategy which is popular in the world of psychology for helping us to overcome approach anxiety in our lives. The aim of this type of therapy is to change the way that we are looking at a specific situation.
When we can change the thought associated with the circumstances which is giving us anxiety, we instantly remove our current emotional response. Meaning that we can remove all forms of approach anxiety by slightly changing the way that we are looking at approaching women.
Nowadays when I see an attractive girl I instantly feel an opportunity to express myself and a solid sense of excitement at the prospect of meeting someone new. We teach on our dating coach courses that when we are able to change our thoughts we can instantly change our emotions.
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