Break Some Rules – How To Have Fun Approaching Women
It used to happen to me all the time and I found it incredibly frustrating. I’d see a girl I wanted to talk to but then I’d freeze, because I’d be trying to think of the ‘perfect’ thing to say or the ‘ideal’ way to start the conversation.
What I’ve noticed is that there is a fine line between sticking to our structure, because we know it works; and not taking action because we think the situation isn’t quite right.
Over time, I’ve discovered that breaking some of our key rules has helped to energise me, overcome approach anxiety and more importantly learn something new.
Break Some Rules #1: The Flow
I have found that being instinctive, saying whatever is on our mind and going with the flow allows us to seize the moment so the opportunity doesn’t pass us by.
We teach on our dating coach courses that the key here is to start walking towards the girl we like, and when we get there just say the first thing that comes into our mind; it can be something as simple as “Hi, I’m Simon”.
Frequently I’m amazed at how often this works; sometimes it can be so powerful that I even question my own structure that has served me so well over the years.
Break Some Rules #2: The Focus
During a recent pua training weekend in Birmingham, one of our clients came up with an ingenious way to get a girl he liked to come over and talk to him.
He did this by giving her his mobile, asking her to take a picture and then walking away so she would go with him. The result was that she got up from her seat, left her group of friends and then joined him across the bar to take the photo.
A lot of us would have been too scared to try this, having no idea if it would work or not. But if we can focus more on learning something and having fun, this shift in focus will in turn automatically make us a lot more alluring.
Break Some Rules #3: The Parallel
At a recent daygame training course in Newcastle, we spotted a girl nearby who was looking at us and playing with her hair. Rather than approaching her, we decided to break some rules by staying put.
Low and behold a few minutes later, she was standing next to us asking what our names were; I’ve found time and again that acting in the exact opposite way to how we feel often leads to a new learning lesson.
As Einstein famously said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results”. So let’s break some rules, have some fun, and see what happens.
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