How To Keep A Conversation Going – 3 Golden Rules
So we’ve started a conversation with a girl we like and then all of a sudden our mind goes blank; we freeze and can’t think of what to say next. As a direct result, we make our excuses and leave with our tail between our legs.
This has to be one of the most common sticking points for men who attend our pua training courses. The good news however, is that if we can follow one of our three golden rules then we will never fall into this conversational blunder again.
How To Keep A Conversation Going #1: Using Our Ears
If we actually listen to the exact words she is using, she will automatically give us several topics that we can use to take the conversation forward. All we need to do is pick out something that resonates with us, and then add our own personal experience or opinion.
For example, if she says:
“I’ve just recently moved here from Australia to study psychology at the University”
On our daygame courses we teach that there are a multitude of directions where we could take this conversation; we could talk about the funny story from when we last moved house, our own experience when we visited Australia, or even what we think about psychology.
We just have to listen out for the conversational threads, pick out one that resonates with us the most and then add to it. Yes, it really is that simple.
How To Keep A Conversation Going #2: Turn Off Our Internal Filter
When I was learning improv comedy, we were taught to use our instinct and say (or do) the first thing that comes into our mind. It is very easy to have an idea of what to say and then discount it because we think it’s stupid, not good enough, or simply too obvious.
However this can lead to us doubting ourselves, panicking and bailing from the conversation because we don’t consider any of our ideas to be good enough or worthy.
Instead as a dating coach, I have found that trusting my instinct and saying the first thing that pops into my head can actually help to keep the interaction flowing and often produces the most spontaneous interactions.
How To Keep A Conversation Going #3: Using Our Eyes
If the worst does happen and our mind goes blank, remember there is a very simple solution. All we need to do is use our eyes in the moment; in being observant by looking around the room we can then make a statement about something we see.
On our pick up artist course we teach that it could be something we notice about her like the way she is standing with her hand on her hip, the interesting necklace she is wearing, or her unusual choice of shoes.
Or it could be something in the nearby vicinity for example; the band who are busking in the street a few yards away, the couple in the corner of the coffee shop who look like they’re on a first date, or the secret room of the bar we are in. The possibilities are endless!
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