Access Women | An Introduction To Location Free Living (next level dating)
Over the past seven years of my life, I’ve developed a lifestyle where I get to work wherever I want, how I want. Now, this process has taken me many years to refine it down to the art that it is today.
There are many steps that are required to move from where you currently are in your life to live a location free life, which means that you can work remotely in a way that allows you to have access to meet new women from all over the world. I’m going to share a couple of examples of what that actually means in your life.
So, the first example is recently I was in Budapest and when I was there I was in a thermal spa, which is what Hungary’s famous for. And I was talking or in dialogue with three different women from different parts of the world, whilst I was in a rooftop spa overlooking all of Budapest. Now if you think about that experience, many things needed to happen in my life for me to be able to do that.
The biggest thing is time. And as we go further into this podcast episode, I’ll be explaining a lot more about what I mean by time. But in modern society, having more time is one of the most attractive things that you can do or have as a man.
Another experience I had was when I was in Barcelona and I was running a training course there. And I was with perhaps six or seven of my clients at the time, and this is in the middle of the summer. Historically, this is when before I started Social Attraction, I’d have been working 10 hour days in the UK, around the same two or three people. So, you can see the difference between what my life was to what I’m about to explain.
We went into this bar in Barcelona and we met two, three, four different groups of people. And again, they were from all over the world. And what we did is we bounced all of them. We literally took the whole bar with us on our own bar crawl to two or three different bars and then to a club together. And that experience is really dear to me because I think it’s the first time a lot of my clients had been into a different country and been able to meet different groups of different women or different people and spend an evening together, it was a really great experience that I cherish alongside some of my clients.
And again, if you just think about what most people do most of the time is they steal a weekend or they steal a week away from work. But I think most of us have to agree that when you take a week off work or even if you get two weeks off work, you feel like you’re under time pressure and you’ve got to get back to work and eventually you’ve got to get back to the office.
Whereas, if you manage to have a lifestyle where you don’t need to do that, you’re more relaxed about the process. You can actually enjoy travelling more and meeting people more because there’s no time constraint to it. You can change your flights.
Actually, I did that recently when I was in Budapest. I just extended my stay there for an extra three days and it’s something that as I say we can all do as we get into this a bit more. Now, the final experience I’d like to share was last year when I was in Stockholm and it was in the middle of the summer. I was with two of my clients and we were on a rooftop bar with four or five different groups of Swedish men, Swedish women. It was a great experience because it’s such a different culture there to the culture that we have in the UK or perhaps even Spain.
I think Sweden isn’t necessarily somewhere that would be on the top of people’s lists to go travelling to, yet because I’ve worked in I think 15 other major countries or cities, I just thought, well, let’s go and have a go with that. I’ve actually been there before, but the experience of being there in dialogue with different people, talking about their way of life and experiencing having fun together. Obviously, my clients are there. We’re meeting women along the way, going to clubs and bars over there. And obviously, also meeting people during the day.
But the important lesson I like to draw here is that as you listen to this episode, I’m telling you that it’s possible to create a similar lifestyle for yourself. Now that lifestyle may not look exactly as mine does, but there are definitely elements in your life that you can work on to give yourself more time to be able to access different types of women.
Because as I say, most of us, most of the time, don’t have enough freedom to be able to do that. And at this point in my life, I’m lucky enough where I’ve worked out a lot of this stuff and I literally get to spend my time doing what I want with who I want.
And as a byproduct of being a coach, working in the dating industry for many years, have the confidence and the skillset and the ability to go to any city by myself and to make friends. And again, that’s something that I’m going to be discussing in this podcast episode. So let’s just begin starting from ground zero.
Say, for example, you are working a 9:00 to 5:00, and you find it difficult to get away. Say your job, you have to be there a certain amount of hours per month. What can you do? How can you allow yourself to start living more location free? Well, there are a few things that you can definitely work on. So, the first one is by saving costs in your life. What a lot of us don’t realise is that we think that to earn more money gives us more freedom.
It’s actually both ways. If you save more money, it also gives you more freedom. So if you cut out a lot of your day to day costs, that money soon adds up. And there’s a few other hacks or a few of the things that you can do to really save a lot of money. So for example, rather than renting a one-bedroom apartment, you could rent a two-bedroom apartment and you could sublet the second room. That would generate a lot more money and save you a lot more costs.
If you have an apartment where you can Airbnb it, that is a great thing to do, especially if you’re going to go travelling because you can save a lot of the accommodation costs. Accommodation costs are one of the biggest barriers to entry of people travelling and working location free because accommodation can be extremely expensive.
A few things you can do is you can stay in hostels if you’d like to do that. That’s extremely cheap. There’s also a service called Couch Surfer where you get to stay on people’s couches for free if you’d like to do that. One of the other things that you can do, which is a really good idea, is you can stay at people’s places that you meet when you go travelling. And this really opens the corridor to not just going travelling to meet more women, which is what a lot of guys do.
And I think when you do that, you go into that chasing mentality. A much more holistic way of doing this is to go out, meet people, experience the culture, talk to the guys, talk to the girls, make some friends. And you won’t believe the offers that you get. “When you’re next in Germany, come and stay at my place.” You’ve just saved, minimum, a hundred pound a night in accommodation fees to be able to do that. So, I think hostels as well. Generally, you can get them for about 20 pounds a night and Couch Surfer I think is free. But certainly looking at the accommodation of where you are at the moment, can you monetize that a bit more? Can you save a bit more money by Airbnb or renting out the spare room because the more money that you can save, the less money you need to earn.
And I’ll explain what I mean by that. Say you’re earning £50K a year. If you can save yourself, say 7K a year by renting out your spare room, I think a certain amount of that’s tax-free as well. You can actually go down to earning probably £10- 12K a year less because of the tax implications. So you might be able to then, rather than working five days a week, go down to working four days a week, or perhaps you can condense your hours, which is something that a lot of people can do.
So rather than working five days a week, can you work three 12 hour days? Is this possible? Because what we’re trying to do here is we’re trying to free up our time so that you only have to be in set locations at set points during the month.
So with my current schedule, I run a one day course a month where I have to be in London to host that course, and I run a three-day dating course each month where I have to be in London. So, my schedule is on those four days a month I’m in London and I’m working. Now the rest of the month I get to do or go wherever I want to go.
So as you listen to this, condensing your hours is obviously the first step, but are there other things that you can do? Can you look for jobs in your industry where you get to work location free, where you get to work from your laptop? Could you retrain in a profession that allows you to be location free? And these are all thoughts or all different angles that I’m giving you that will allow you to start thinking differently about your life.
Because a lot of people think that you need to earn more money, you need to be in better physical condition, you need to do all of these things to be more attractive to women. Yet in my experience, while everyone else is doing all of these things, there’s a lot of women that are travelling or a lot of women that are also leading location free lives, where you have the time to spend with them, you have the time to meet them. You have the time to practise communicating with people.
At this stage in my life, there are a few things that I do every day, such as I exercise in the mornings. I read and I meditate. There are three things that I do every single day. It doesn’t matter where I am around the world.
And that’s interesting. Actually, the exercising is really interesting because I run about 30 miles a week and one of the beautiful things about going travelling or living location free is I’ve run around the cities that I go to, and often they have outside gyms. Earlier on this year, I got into callisthenics, which is natural bodyweight training, but the beautiful aspects of that, I’m in my infancy of this, but I’m working on it. And when you go down to these outside gyms in different cities, you meet other people that are working on the same thing, that are probably a little bit further down the line. And obviously you’re a tourist there, so you can get talking to these people. Before you know it, they’ve invited you for a night out or to spend time with them.
That is a wonderful idea. Even if you’re into swimming, if you’re into weight training, make that part of your ritual when you do start to live more location free. And also it gives you a structure to your day where you train at a certain time, gets you out of bed. It’s really good because one of the traps that people fall into when they do start travelling or living location free is that they can get a little bit lonely and one remedy to that is to train in the morning. So you wake up a certain time, and you go train. It kickstarts your day, gets the endorphins rolling. You typically meet people when you’re there.
If you’re a little bit shy about starting conversations, you can just ask someone to take a photograph of your training or a video of you. That often breaks the ice as well. But typically as humans, we like people that are similar to ourselves. So if you like weight training, if you go to a gym with weight trainers, typically you’re going to get on with the people there. And the same with callisthenics. The same with running. These are all things that you can take into account. If you like competing, such as marathons, half-marathons, you can look up around Europe to see when all of these dates are and you can plan your trips to coincide with these. And that’s also a wonderful thing because you meet a lot of people doing that as well. So, that’s definitely a consideration.
Now, what do I actually do when I’m in these cities? Because it’s funny, isn’t it? It’s one of these things where the idea sounds great in, live location free, go and travel the world and do all these things.
And the thing is it can also be a very lonely place if you haven’t done it before or you’re lacking in confidence. Now, there are a few things that you can do that can certainly help with this. And I would advise that if you’ve never been travelling or gone on holiday by yourself, these are things that you should do in advance of going so that you already know what you’re doing when you get there.
Because I think when we’re out of our comfort zone, when we’re in a new city, when we don’t know new people, it’s very easy to fall out of our comfort zone and to let anxiety set in. And then we typically freeze and we don’t do anything. And we miss a lot of opportunities along the way. So when you’re away, what I like to do is I pack my day. So, I go on TripAdvisor or Google and often you can do one day tour of the city and it tells you the best things to do.
And I’m very dynamic. I’ll go to all of these places. Not necessarily in a day, but I’ll pack out my day so that I’m seeing a lot of different things, so I’m always on the go and I’m always dynamic. When I go to these places, these tourist areas, I will talk to other tourists. I’ll network and I’ll meet people. If there’s a guy that’s well dressed or I like something about his style, I’ll go and say, “I like what you’re wearing.” You’re in a conversation.
If you’re not competent enough at starting conversations with women in a relaxed way, just take your camera phone out and ask them to take a photo of you. You’re then in a conversation. You can make a comment that says, “You don’t sound like you’re from the city,” and then you’re in a conversation.
It’s a very easy way of starting a conversation when you’re away. So I like to pack out my days with art galleries. I do thermal spas, whatever the heritage of the city is, I like to experience that and meet people along the way. A few of the things that I’ve toyed around with that may or may not work for you, you can also book onto bar crawls, guided tours, things like that.
They can be really fun, especially in networking and then meeting people. Just be a bit careful if you are living location free with the bar crawls because you do tend to find that they can become a bit of a crux and you just end up booking bar crawls in all of the cities. And by doing that you miss out a lot of the opportunities of meeting the type of women that won’t be on those bar crawls. The culturally aware women that would be in the art galleries or the other tourist areas. And I think you’d like a blend. Don’t just book five bar crawls when you go away because it’s easier to meet people in the evening. I think you’re missing a lot of the value of having free time to meet people.
The other things that you can do are you can take a professional camera with you, like your Canon camera with you so that you can document your travels, you can take some shots. It’s quite nice to do that actually because when you do have your camera on you, it allows you to stop, experience the moment by taking pictures, and also document the evidence of what you’re doing. And that can be a very nice thing to be able to do actually to have your camera on you and to take some pro shots. I really like doing that. And the other thing I like to do is I have my headphones on me all the time.
I don’t really like getting the trams or buses around if I don’t have to. So, I wear comfortable footwear and I have headphones on and I’m even listening to music or I’m listening to podcasts.
That’s actually quite a nice byproduct of that. When you’re listening to music or when you’re listening to podcasts, when you see attractive women, you actually have less anxiety because you’re already distracted and it’s quite an interesting way of speaking to new people. I like to leave my headphones on right up to the moment, where I say, “Excuse me.” And then when they look at me, I’ll take my headphones off. And it’s interesting. It lowers the barriers to actually start in conversations because it distracts your mind.
It’s quite nice. You can actually try that one in the UK, just put your headphones on, put some music on, and then as you see attractive women, you can go and talk to them. You can put on any music to do that as well. Whatever makes you feel energised. So, I really like doing that. I think that’s a great thing to be able to do. There are a few other considerations as well, such as what time of year do you want to be going location free because it’s easier to meet women in warmer climates. So, you could plan your schedule so that you’re going to warmer climates at a different part of the year.
For example, Barcelona is typically hot most of the year, so November through to February makes a great city. There’s a lot of other places such as Budapest, which is great in October. So have a look at the calendar, see when the warmer months are because it makes tourism easier as well because you can walk around all day, you get more hours to go around and meet people.
Now, the final thing that I wanted to talk about as an introduction to location free living is your Tinder profile. Now, this can be a really good tool or it can be a really bad waste of time.
Now, Tinder can be a great way of meeting people when you go into new cities and it can also be a way of seeing nothing else other than your mobile phone screen because you’re swiping all day and you’re trying to get people to meet you. And it’s all very try hard and it’s all very chasing mentality. Now, if you are going to use Tinder, there are a few things that you can do that will make your experience better.
For example, when you are going to all of these different cities, you should be getting photos of yourself with good backdrops to document the fact that you’re travelling. You can then upload these onto your Tinder profile and they convey that you are travelling, you’re dynamic, that you’re able to go to all these different places. So, getting a good photo of yourself with good backdrops, doing cool things, socialising when you’re travelling is a great way to get some really good images for your Tinder profiles.
The other thing that you can do is you can play for Tinder Plus or Tinder gold, I’m not sure which is. And you can set your location to the city that you’re going to in advance of going there. Now, the best way of doing this is probably to set it there three days in advance, but don’t start swiping yet. What you’d like to do. Set your profile live in that city. Don’t swipe for three days because of what that does, it allows other women to see your profile first and to start swiping you. It will save you so much time in swiping.
Now, the final thing on Tinder I would say is I would limit it to two times a day, maximum three times a day, where you give yourself a set schedule. So, turn all of the notifications off and give yourself perhaps half an hour in the morning, half an hour in the afternoon, half an hour in the evening.
And that is it. If you’d like to start meeting some of these women, obviously you can move it from Tinder to WhatsApp or to phone numbers. But what you don’t want to do is find that you are on Tinder all of the time and you miss what it’s like to actually be in that city because you’re so desperate to meet these people.
And the other thing as well is that typically, from my own experience, you’re more likely to meet a better calibre date when you are meeting them in person to start off with, because you’ve got no idea what someone’s like on Tinder just by their images or just by a little bit of dialogue. So for me personally, if you are going to be living location free, going to all these different countries and cities, I think that Tinder should be almost an afterthought. Just something that you check-in and do occasionally. And if you meet a nice girl, you can also invite her along to something you’re already doing.
And this goes back to having a schedule and a plan. What exactly you’re doing in each city, packing your days out. When you’re then messaging people you can say, “I’m doing this on this day,” or, “Why don’t you come and join me on one or the other?” But that’s as far as I would go with your Tinder bio. I think that you shouldn’t hold it as a crux. A lot of people just do bar crawls and they just get on Tinder and that’s it. And I think you miss so much along the way, such as the culture, going to the galleries, understanding what the city’s like, going on tours.
The other side effect of going to all of these cities is that over the years I’ve developed an ability to speak about all of these stories from what I’ve learned from each of these different cities. And this is something that you can’t fake.
When I’m in dialogue, I have a wealth of knowledge that I can draw upon in conversation with women and with men from everything that I’ve done over the last decade of my life. All the books that I’ve read, all the cities I’ve been to, all the art galleries, everything that I’ve done I can speak to women about and that can’t be faked. That’s not a quick conversation cure fix. This episode is about your lifestyle.
What are you doing on your day to day life? I’m not talking about some conjecture in the future, which I think a lot of us again fall into the trap to where, oh, well, I’m earning this much money. I can do this. I can do that. No, I’m talking about right now. Today, as you listen to this episode, what are you doing today? If you’re going to a job 9:00 till 5:00 that you don’t enjoy and you’re listening to this and I’m inspiring you to take control of your life and to make some changes, then you can literally start thinking about that today. Put pen to paper and write out your ideal life design.
This is also the launch episode of Social Attraction, which is my company, teaching people how to live location free lives whilst also meeting women along the way. There other companies that will teach you different methodologies for working location free and where Social Attraction differs is that we also teach you how to meet women from all over the world in any city that you go to.
So if you’ve listened to this episode and it’s inspired you and you think, wow, that is next-level stuff, I would really like to move my life in that direction, what you need to do is visit the Social Attraction website and book a free 15-minute consultation to speak to me directly.
And I will go through what is required to start moving your life in that direction.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed speaking about this because for me it’s an area that isn’t spoken about enough, which is why it’s great that I’m finally putting out this content. As I say, there are multiple things that you can do in your life today that’s going to give you more time and allow you to start living your life location free. So, I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s episode.
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