Approach Anxiety Explained – With A Top Psychologist
So this week I was lucky enough to finally get Khody Damestani – a top psychologist who I have followed for years – to come into my studio and record some videos talking about approach anxiety; namely what it is and what we can do to overcome it.
What I found illuminating is that there are actually two scientifically proven types of approach anxiety and unless we can decipher exactly which one we suffer from, we won’t be able to overcome our fears once and for all.
Luckily in this video Khody gives us a detailed analysis of not only how we can determine which anxiety affects us, but also outlines some specific techniques to overcome our concerns.
Approach Anxiety Explained #1: A Cognitive Anxiety
So Khody clarified that the first main anxiety that prevents us from knowing how to attract women is known as a cognitive anxiety. This anxiety or fear is when our mind is racing with negative thoughts about what may go wrong if we go and interact with an attractive girl, so such thoughts as:
“What happens if she tells me to go away?”
“What if my friends laugh at me?”
“What happens if she rejects me?”
Khody explained that we can deal with this type of anxiety by using an affirmation that takes the edge off the anxiety and also makes us feel more confident, so something like:
“I’m a champion just for making this approach.”
We teach on our dating coach courses that affirmations not only helps makes us feel more confident, but it also moves our focus away from the negative thoughts and instead towards an empowering thought which no doubt will lead to an empowering response.
Approach Anxiety Explained #2: A Somatic Anxiety
Khody then went on to explain that the second significant anxiety which stops of from interacting with attractive women is known as a somatic anxiety. This manifests itself with physical symptoms such as our chest getting tight; we start to sweat and our mouth goes dry.
Khody points out that a somatic approach anxiety can be relieved by simple tactics like changing our breathing, such as the diaphragmatic breathing as shown in the video. The main idea is to deal with a cognitive approach anxiety with a cognitive cure and a somatic approach anxiety with a somatic cure.
The vital element to take away from this specific video is that we can indeed overcome approach anxiety once we recognize which specific approach anxiety we suffer from; and then we can proceed to follow Khody’s expert prescription.
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