How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | A Step-By-Step Guide (with illustrations)

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | A Step-By-Step Guide (with illustrations)

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | A Step-By-Step Guide (with illustrations)

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | A Step-By-Step Guide (with illustrations)

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | A Step-By-Step Guide (with illustrations)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

How to approach a girl at a bar. Now, first of all, there are a few things that you can do that will make this process 10 times easier.

Most guys most of the time when they walk into a bar and they see an attractive girl or a group of attractive women.

What they typically do is they go and stand miles away. Then try and come up with a really good way of going back the way they came from to speak to women.

The thing is women are aware of this straight away and they will notice.

First of all, you sitting there thinking about what to do. Second of all, they will feel it when you come over there.

Furthermore, it’s very off-putting for women feeling like you’re trying to do something. Making approaching women a natural process is just going to make it easier.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar #1 – Make it natural

The first step you can take to approach women is to get proximity. You need to sit near enough to the girl to start a conversation.

You don’t have to start a conversation straight away.

If there are seats near, or in the vicinity, of the girls you’d like to speak to. Then you can go and sit there and have a drink with your friends there.

Proximity to approach women

When you are close enough you then also feel more relaxed and that’s a really important step.

Getting physically close enough to the women that you’d like to speak to  Your confidence will grow. You will feel much better about making that first contact.

As I say, if you’re at the other side of the bar and you make it this big walk over there. The tension, stress and anxiety is just going to be through the roof when it can be so much easier.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar #2 – Use a high traffic area

Often bars have high chairs at the bar area. As you enter a bar you can get two seats or three seats for the three of you. You can sit at the bar, which is a high traffic area.

There’s going to be a lot of people going to and from the bar.

Because you’re in such a good location it makes it very easy to start a conversation with women at any point throughout the evening.

The good thing is that you can start a short conversation while they’re getting a drink as a way of initiating contact.

How To Approach Women At A Bar

Then when they are back at the bar later on to get another drink. It’s an easy opportunity to reengage them in conversation.

When you are sat at the bar, it’s very easy to just relax and have fun, just chill.

Women will see you because you are near the bar and that’s an opportunity for them to actually come and talk to you too.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar #3 – Let women approach you

What you’ll find is that if women tend to want to talk to you, they will come to your area of the bar.

So that’s a really good indicator if you’re just sat there chilling, having fun, and you notice that the girls that you like are coming near you to order their drinks.

They are also getting proximity with you, which can add to your confidence in starting a conversation.

Now, I’m going to give you three ways that you can actually start a conversation or approach a girl at a bar.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar #4 – Use your camera phone

The first one is the easiest way, all you have to do is ask her to take a photograph of you. It’s so simple, it’s effective, it works.

It works in every scenario you find yourself in a social setting.

As soon as she’s taken a photo, you can then look at the image that she’s taken together.

That is such an easy thing to do and often the girl will then come over and start talking to you without you having to do any more.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar

Remember that approaching a girl is just that first part of starting a conversation.

Don’t make it more complicated. Use the simplest and easiest way of making that happen.

The second thing that you can do to approach a girl in a bar is to ask her an opinion of the topic that you’re talking about. So say you’ve sat around with your friends and you’re talking about a new film.

You turn around and say:

“Excuse me, what do you think of this?”

It’s a very easy way of starting a conversation. It’s asking for their opinion and it’s in a chilled, relaxed manner. That is a very effective way of starting a conversation.

Furthermore, if you try and fake that and make it a bit fraudulent, women will pick up on this. So that has to be done in a natural way.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar #5 – Be spontaneous

So if you are sat there having a conversation and it’s an interesting topic and a girl happens to be there.

Use it as a way of engaging her in conversation. That’s actually a very powerful way of starting a spontaneous conversation.

The final way that you can approach a girl in a bar that you like is through an introduction.

These also can be very powerful. If there’s an attractive girl in the bar that a lot of people are speaking to and hitting on and you’d like to talk to her.

It can be very complicated to make that happen. And one of the things you can do is just be sociable with everyone in the bar.

I’d advocate being a social butterfly.

how to approach women in a bar

If you’re in a bar and you’re meeting and you’re talking to people and you’re having fun, guess what? The girl in there that you like will see you having fun. She’ll see that you’re someone who she would like to start a conversation with herself.

How To Approach A Girl At A Bar – Summary

Someone who’s not chasing after every girl in there, that’s there’s walking up and down the room talking to any girl that would let him talk to her. The guy who sat down at the bar chilling, having fun, talking to a lot of people, at some point in the evening, she will want to start a conversation with you.

So just being a social butterfly is an extremely powerful way of starting a conversation with a girl in a bar. So let’s just wrap up this episode where I’ve covered three ways to approach women in a bar.

  • #1 – Now, the first one I spoke about is just getting proximity and sitting at the bar and then asking someone to take a photograph of you. Very powerful, very easy, and it works.
  • #2 – The second way is when you just spontaneously ask someone their opinion. This can be really fun, especially if you’re talking about a fun and interesting dynamic in the group that you’re already with.
  • #3 – And the final way is just to be a social butterfly. Go out, have fun, talk to everyone. In addition, when you do that, you will find that people will want to come over and to start a conversation with you.


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