Approaching Women | Top Five Ethical Guidelines (you need to know)

Approaching Women | Top Five Ethical Guidelines (you need to know)

Approaching Women | Top Five Ethical Guidelines (you need to know)

Approaching Women | Top Five Ethical Guidelines (you need to know)

Approaching Women | Top Five Ethical Guidelines (you need to know)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Approaching women guidelines. So what I’d like to discuss is some of the parameters that we put in place on our dating confidence courses for men.

The reason why we do this is that when we are approaching women. We want to make sure that they are completely comfortable talking to us and entering into a conversation.

So I’m going to cover five ethical considerations that you should take into account before you approach women.

The first ethical consideration when you are approaching women during the day. We advise that you operate a 25 year of age or older policy.

Now, this means that if you see a girl and you’d like to go and start speaking to her if she looks under the age of 25.

you simply don’t go and talk to her. Now, the reason why this is important is that some girls, especially with makeup, can look a lot older than their years.

So when we put a strict barrier in place, it allows you to just be safe and secure to know:

“Okay, she looks less than 25. I’m not going to approach her.”

You can relax this a little bit if you go to bars and nightclubs. Girls in there have had to show their ID and you know that they are of a certain age.

If you are approaching women during the day, make sure that they look over 25 years or older. That will allow you to be more secure and more confident in starting a conversation.

The second ethical consideration when you are approaching women is to never do it when it’s dark.

Very simple, if it’s dark in the evening, you are going to make people feel uncomfortable by approaching them. So what we say is that during daylight hours is absolutely fine.

approaching women

If you want to approach women and start conversations when it’s dark or in the evening. Then please go to social settings, bars, or nightclubs and you can ethically start a conversation without making anyone feel uncomfortable.

The third ethical consideration when you are approaching women is to never face your body completely towards the girl that you’re approaching.

So, what do I mean by that?

Well, when you are approaching someone, if you walk straight towards them, you’re going to set off a flight, fight or freeze response. And this is going to make the girl that you’re speaking to feel very uncomfortable.

So, a very easy way to overcome this is rather than walking directly at someone, you just change your angle slightly. So that your body and legs are facing away and then you turn your upper body towards the girl that you want to start a conversation with.

On a biological level, this is not going to set off her flight or flight response. It’s going to allow her to be completely comfortable with your approach.

Also from your perspective, you know that you’re going about it in a way which is going to allow women to feel relaxed about the fact that you’re approaching them.

The fourth ethical consideration when you are approaching women is an obvious one, but it’s well worth pointing out. Never touch women when you are approaching them.

And in the real world, when you are speaking to women, especially if you’re in busy situations. You may be drawn to maybe touch a girl on the shoulder or the arm if she hasn’t heard you. Now, we advise that you never touch women ever.

So in the real world, if you’re starting a conversation and a girl hasn’t heard you, you just leave it and move away or you speak a little bit louder.

But what you don’t want to do is to touch the girl or in any way make her feel uncomfortable. It’s the same way that when you are starting a conversation, you don’t want to get in her way.

You don’t want to stand in her way so that she can’t walk past you because that again is going to make her feel uncomfortable.

If we just push that a little bit further, if you see a girl who’s standing waiting perhaps for a bus or a train. Please take into account the context in which you’re in.

If you go and speak to this girl, you have to know that she’s waiting for a train or a bus. If she doesn’t want to talk to you. You can make it very awkward and uncomfortable for her. So take context into account when you are approaching and speaking to women.

The final ethical consideration when you are approaching women is to stand at least one metre away, ideally 1.5 metres away from the girl you’re speaking to.

You do not want to invade her personal space. If you stand that far away, you can easily have a conversation. If you don’t speak that loudly, it’s an opportunity for you to practise speaking so that people can hear you.

Ideally what you don’t want to do is stand too close and make someone feel uncomfortable.


Now, in this episode, I have covered some barriers and some boundaries which are extremely healthy if you are going to take the steps towards approaching women. And just to go over them quickly.

  • #1 – operate a 25 year or older policy.
  • #2 – never approach women when it’s dark.
  • #3 – make sure your legs and your whole body is not facing directly towards her.
  • #4 – never touch women,.
  • #5 – stand at least one metre away, but ideally 1.5 metres away.

If you put these healthy and ethical boundaries in place. They will allow you to feel more confident in approaching women.

They will also allow women to become way more receptive to you approaching them and starting a conversation.


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