How To Attract Women | The Ultimate Guide (Long-Term Dating Strategies)

How To Attract Women | The Ultimate Guide (Long-Term Dating Strategies)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn how to attract women focussing on a longer-term approach.

This means taking an honest look in the mirror and being open to the notion of self-development and making changes to improve your life.

I will specifically be covering the following:

  • Drawing a line in the sand and channelling your frustrations into positive life changes
  • Ways to elevate your thinking and your mind towards pursuits that make you a more attractive individual
  • How having an intent in your life and being comfortable living in a ‘corridor of uncertainty’ will attract women

If you would like to learn how to attract women in the real world, book onto our next dating confidence course. Watch reviews from our clients on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

How can I attract a girl towards me?

A lot of the time it can feel like life is outside of your control. Perhaps you have found yourself in the following situations:

  • Checking your phone repeatedly waiting for a girl to text you back
  • Being sat at home watching Netflix when you would rather be out on a date
  • Having anxiety because you don’t know what to do and you feel like your life is not quite working out

If you trace back your life to where you are right now, you will realise that you are here because of the seeds that you planted at previous points in your life.

Had you instead planted a seed ten years ago where you read books on success, psychology or evolutionary psychology, imagine how that seed would be flourishing now?

Do not feel like all hope is lost though.

Significantly, one piece of advice can prove to be the catalyst for change in your dating life.

As you read this you can begin to start planting new seeds and be the person who gets what they want from life.

Ways to become a more attractive man

The way of doing that is to conjecture forward the next 10 years of your life and reflect on the following:

  • The type of person that you want to be in the future
  • Consideration of your individual talents and unique parts of your personality
  • The aspects that you want to harness and cultivate to become a person who is inspirational and attractive

This all starts by planting some seeds today to develop into that type of person.

As per the image below we can give you the tools to help you become a more attractive person and teach you how to create a long-term relationship.

To find out more about our training then you can visit our live training page.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help you to get a long-term girlfriend

How to attract women by pursuing your interests?

A few years ago I had a girl who was working for me on my courses. She was a model and an aspiring actress. She had all the energy in the world and in her mind was going to the top.

Over time, what gradually happened is that she came up against problems in her life where she went for auditions and she didn’t get the show or the job.

The rejections mounted up.

Slowly and surely she went from being this bright star to becoming someone who was worn down by life.

But the interesting point is when you look at what she was doing in her day-to-day life:

  • She no longer practised what it was that she wanted to become
  • Instead, she found herself just waiting for the auditions.
  • She became anxious when she wasn’t working and would say: “I need to go to networking. I need to meet more people.

If you want to be world-class at anything, it starts with daily practice taking the time to hone your craft.

Similarly to be more attractive to women, you need to take the time to become a more attractive individual.

How creativity makes you a more attractive man?

So as you read this, think about what it is that you want to develop in your life.

Reflect on the following:

  • Is there an interest that you have always wanted to pursue
  • Perhaps there is someone inspiring in your life and you look at them and think: I wish I could do that
  • The way that you change is by deciding: if I want to be that person in 10 years, then I need to start becoming that person today

It begins with planting a seed and making better decisions to become that person. If you work on bettering yourself you will naturally start to attract more women into your life.

The image below is taken from a course I hosted in London on the Art of Seduction where I outline different strategies to become more attractive to women. It is a 90-minute video so watch at your own convenience.

Gary Gunn hosting the art of seduction course in London

What traits attract women?

Another way to plant seeds about your future self and attract more women is to think about what your frustrations are right now.

What are you frustrated with in your life? What are you not willing to stand for anymore?

Crucially, a shift happens when you begin to draw a line in the sand that has been defined:

  • You decide that you are not going to go back
  • You are no longer going to put up with feeling like this anymore
  • This elevates your thoughts and your mind to move yourself on to that next phase in your life

However, you have to take the time to draw that line. Moreover, you have to be resolute in carrying through on your defined values. This is a quality embodied by the attractive man.

Ways to avoid a chasing mentality?

If you are frustrated that you are chasing women all the time, then stop and put your effort into something else.

In effect this means:

  • Stop being on Tinder three hours a day
  • Cease online dating three hours each evening
  • Put a stop to drunkenly chasing women in nightclubs till 4:00 AM

Decide, that is not me anymore. I want to move on to that next phase of my life. I am no longer going to be that person.

If you don’t want to feel like this anymore, then you need to accept that there has to be a change process.

So drawing a line in the sand and deciding to move on will be a huge change and shift in your life.

As outlined in the image below we can teach you how to stop chasing women and instead move you towards living a more attractive lifestyle where you will naturally become more alluring to women.

To find out more about our coaching then visit our live training page to view our courses.

Model next to three ways to stop chasing women

How taking risks attracts women?

Finally, with this ‘falling away’ you can then start planting the seeds of success for your dating life. You do this by having intent on what you want.

I don’t believe in having a step-by-step strategy in life because they don’t work. I believe more in putting out your intent into the world and creating a corridor of uncertainty.

Now, what do I mean by that?

As an example, if you are doing a job that you hate and no longer want to do, what most people do is try and procure another job so that they are safe and that they feel secure.

However, to a certain degree, you have to have that corridor of uncertainty where there is no clear course of action.

This means:

  • When you have space, you can think differently
  • You have to be willing to burn the old to create the new
  • You have to be open to shutting off the things that you don’t like in your life

When you do that, the corridor of uncertainty shows you what you should be doing in your life.

How does having an intent help attract women?

What most men do most of the time is to try and control things. When they are talking to women, they try and control it.

They try and learn these conversation strategies to control what is going on so that they get the end result.

  • However, operating this way makes you outcome-orientated and makes you want something from the other person
  • Whereas with the corridor of uncertainty, your intent is there: It is my intent to speak to more women or it is my intent to have a better dating life

Having that intent is a powerful thing, but that intent has to be strong.

You have to be willing to follow through on your intent when the time is right and face that corridor of uncertainty.

What does an attractive man look like?

The person that tries to control everything becomes manipulative because he is trying to control the outcome of everything that is going on.

He may even start to coerce people if he is not getting the results that he wants.

Whereas someone who is content with uncertainty is a happier and more attractive individual who:

  • Does not let fear influence his life
  • Has an intent and single-minded focus
  • Knows that whatever he wants in his life will have to manifest itself

As you begin to grow in confidence and you enter that corridor of uncertainty, what happens is that all of your insecurities are going to come up and your fear will kick in at some point.

Ways to manage any fears about elevating your life

That corridor of uncertainty is certainly going to bring up some fears in your life that will need to be addressed. These fears just come up and create anxiety and we don’t know why.

One of the most potent ways of dealing with this is taking time to process in your daily life.

Here I am not referring to a standard meditation.

Instead, I mean you take half an hour to an hour a day and you just process your life:

  • You think about what is going on
  • And you slow your breathing down
  • You can even lie down as you think about your issues
  • Simply process what is going on until you are no longer affected

When you take the time to process the things in your life, all of a sudden you have perspective. You can see more clearly what is going on and your tension will be diminished.

The end result is that when you do that, you will start to become the person that you want to be ten years from now. And, moreover, a man who is naturally confident in how to attract women into his life.

Below you will find an infographic I designed which outlines nine dating tools that an attractive man uses in his day-to-day life.

To find out more you can read my dating tips for men article.

9 psychological techniques that attractive men use around women


  • Taking an honest look in the mirror and accepting accountability for where you are in your life right now. And also being open to planting new seeds and making different decisions to better your life.
  • Conjecturing forward ten years and considering the type of person you want to be. Think about anyone inspiring in your life and what qualities they have that you would like to emulate to be more attractive. Start doing the daily rituals that will help make you that person.
  • Drawing a line in the sand and thinking about what you are no longer willing to tolerate anymore. This elevates your thoughts and your mind to move yourself on to that next phase in your life.
  • Being comfortable living in that corridor of uncertainty. In being open to shutting off the things that you do not like in your life you are making way for something new to fill it. This leads to positive change.
  • Having intent in your life. This makes you a more content and attractive individual who is not influenced by fear and who is not outcome orientated or trying to control everything and everyone around him.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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