Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety

Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety

Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety

Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety

Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety

Written by Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

The fear of approaching women is real. And in this episode, I’m going to go through three powerful stories of times where clients have attended my training courses and I’ve helped them to overcome their fear.

Now what will happen when you listen to these stories is they will give you some wisdom and insight into how you can overcome your own fear of approaching women. Now the first story of how to overcome your fear of approaching women is a special forces guy who came over from Russia. And I remember my first consultation call with him.


PREFER AUDIO? Listen to The Gary Gunn Show Podcast #130 – Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women


Where we spoke on the phone and he was saying that he can literally do anything in his life that he puts his mind to fair does not affect him. He can do anything he wants, apart from approaching women. And what he relayed is that he simply cannot do it. And he’s tried every single way he can think of, but nothing’s ever worked.


So he decided to book onto one of my courses and I took him out and taught him a few things to help him overcome his fear of approaching women


Now here’s the real key insight. I said to this guy, Genghis Khan was one of the greatest leaders that’s ever lived. And one of the things that he did when he attacked Russia is that he didn’t wait for the optimum time because when you’re attacking Russia in the winter, it’s so cold that no one was expected to attack during those months. And what Genghis Khan did, he decided to wait for the worst possible time. And when he did that, he attacked. And that is what made him a great leader.

The reason why I told that story to my client was that he’s one of these guys that thrives in difficult times. That’s where he lives. And what was happening is that he was waiting for the easy opportunities to approach women and it really didn’t suit his personality. His personality was, give it to me as hard as you can and I’ll find a way to make it through.

So on my course, I took my client to some of the most difficult situations you can find yourself approaching women. So one of them is on a busy tube, another one is at an art gallery during a guided tour. And there are loads going on and you have to go up and overcome your fear. And the final one is by Oxford street when it is so busy and there’s so much going on, that it’s very difficult to overcome your fare.


And what we found is that this guy thrived. He didn’t just overcome his fear of approaching women, he literally completely got rid of it.


So what we found in that circumstance is that if you are someone that really thrives in difficult times and it brings you some energy and makes you feel alive, then stop being so timid about approaching women. And what will happen is that you will overcome your fare.

And this is true in every area of our life. Most of us, most of the time, wait for the easy option and the easy time. But isn’t there something energising about saying, I’m going to wait for the worst time and then I’m going to attack it and then I’m going to do it.

You see, when you have that mindset, it empowers you in every single area of your life and not just overcoming your fear of approaching women.


Now the second story of how to overcome your fear approaching women is a client of mine who when he first spoke to me on the phone, sounded like an ideal client.


He was around mid-thirties, very articulate. He was really excited about overcoming his fear and I was excited about coaching him. Now when he turned up on my course, he was alongside another client of mine and we started talking and I was just relaying what we’re going to be doing on the course.

And this client said, “Oh, I’m really competitive, I’m ultra-competitive. So, make it into a game and I’ll make sure I win.” And I was thinking, okay, well we’ll give it a go. And what happened was the other client obviously went out and initially did better. He got three girls numbers on the course, whereas this guy didn’t. And what was happening was that he was putting too much pressure on himself because of the competition.

And halfway through the day, I had to say to him “Look, stop competing. Let’s just relax. Let’s take it step by step, remember the training, and take it easy.” And what happened was the very next girl that he went up to, he overcame his fear approaching women and he went on an instant date with this girl.


And here’s the reason why. Competition can be good for you, but too much of it cripples you with fear of approaching women because you begin to feel overwhelmed.


You begin to feel like you can’t handle the pressure. So one of the simplest things you can do to overcome your fear of approaching women is to stop competing. You can stop competing with yourself, you can stop competing with other people.

The aim is to take away the pressure, take away the burden of feeling overwhelmed. And what will happen is you’ll be more relaxed. When you’re more relaxed, you can come across much more attractive to women.

So with that one, it was really just a case of taking away the pressure, taking away the feeling of overwhelm. And that really helped his fear of approaching women. Other than that, it was just a case of allowing him the simple processes that I teach in my course, and he was able to follow them and reduce his anxiety.


Now onto the final way of overcoming your fear of approaching women.


Now I distinctly remember the consultation call with my client. He said to me, “I’ve had anxiety of speaking to women for 20 years and there is no way that you can help me to overcome my anxiety.” And I said, “Okay, well this is what would happen if you came to one of my courses. I’m an experienced coach.”

And I just relayed and put him at ease. I said to him “My course comes with a money-back guarantee” and he said, “Well if the money-back guarantee’s genuine I’ll book onto the course because I’ve got nothing to lose.”

So I said, “Okay, come to the course. If you don’t overcome your fear of approaching women, then I will guarantee your money back.” Bearing in mind this guy struggled for 20 years. So I understand his trepidation and his worry about actually finally facing his fear.


Here’s what’s interesting. With a lot of us, it’s not actually the process of being on my course that helps you overcome the fear of approaching women.


It is deciding to make a decision to change your life. You see, with this guy, when he decided to commit to coming to my dating confidence course, he changed. He was no longer someone that was waiting for things to happen. He made a decision, I’m going to rid myself of this fear once and for all.

You see for this guy, by making that decision. By the time he came to my course, he’d already overcome his fear because in his mind he’d made that decision to overcome it. So when he did come to my course a few weeks later, for me, it was relatively easy to help him overcome his fear.

A few simple techniques, which I’ve spoken about in other podcasts, such as getting proximity, power posing, and affirmations. Within an hour, this guy was approaching women who he never thought he’d have the confidence to approach ever.


And I can’t take full credit for him beating his fear of approaching women because, as I say, the credit of that is his decision, his choice.


So as you listen to this episode, is there something in your life that you’re sticking your head in the sand over? Something that you could attack. Perhaps it is your fear of approaching women. Can you make a decision today that will allow you to mentally say, I’ve had enough, that’s it. And what I’m going to do now is to commit to overcoming this fear.

So just to round up this episode, I spoke about the fear of approaching women and I relayed three stories from training courses of mine that will help you to overcome your own fare. The first one I spoke about was a special forces client and the way that we helped him overcome his fear was simply by approaching it in difficult situations. And when you do that, this guy came alive.

The second way though I taught you how to overcome your fear of approaching women is through reducing competition, not feeling so overwhelmed and relaxing, taking the pressure off and taking it one step at a time. And the final way I spoke about overcoming your fear of approaching women is to simply commit. In your mind, make a decision that you’re going to do whatever it takes to overcome this fear and to make your life better. When you make that decision, your psychology changes, your life changes and your dating confidence completely changes.


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