Dating Advice For Men | The Definitive Guide (updated 2021)

Dating Advice For Men | The Definitive Guide (updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will give you my latest dating advice for men. Specifically, I will teach you five different ways that you can use to stop feeling (and therefore acting) needy around women.

You will learn:

  • How to keep needy and insecure emotions in check (fast)
  • How to demonstrate confidence with women (by your lifestyle)
  • Ways to avoid the chasing mentality that puts women off (once and for all)

I have also included some examples of clients of mine who have implemented these lessons into their lives to give you some real-life context.

If you would like to see an instant increase in your dating results, take a look at our client reviews and book onto our next available dating confidence course. Watch them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

Dating advice for needy men 

The best dating advice for needy men is to meet more women.

This is a simple mathematic equation; the more women you meet, the more chances you have of creating a new relationship.

In my experience, you want to try and meet women in your day-to-day routine rather than letting your life to be taken over by online dating apps.

Dating intent

Having a dating intent to meet more women allows you to:

  • Have more dating options
  • Form better relationships
  • Beat anxiety around women

Below you will find my infographic that outlines some simple ways to approach women. I also suggest reading my how to approach women guide.

9 ways to help men approach and initiate conversation with women

Dating advice for introverted men

The best dating advice for introverted men is to creatively self-express. For me, this is a guaranteed way to increase your confidence as a man.

I coach many of my clients to set-up podcasts or YouTube channels to put out their value to the world; their confidence increases with every piece of content.

To give you a few examples, one of my clients is creating a mindfulness and meditation podcast and another a strength and fitness YouTube channel and they are both now in long-term relationships.

Content creation

To be a content creator you have to:

  • Overcome your fear of judgement
  • Think in a more profound manner
  • Become more articulate with your words

All of these attributes are attractive to women, which is why you will struggle to find creative men who are single for long periods of time.

Self-expression as a man

According to evolutionary psychology, our societies originated from dominance hierarchies. Therefore, if the elders did not teach the next generation then their tribe would be eradicated.

In this spirit, sharing stories, sharing learning lessons, and self-expressing is vital to our survival.

Consequently, it makes sense that self-expression is imperative to our mental wellbeing.

Mental wellbeing

Accordingly, if you have always been interested in writing a short story or recording a podcast, then my advice is to try one and see how you feel.

The more your mind is focussed on positive self-expression and sharing learning lessons, the less time you have to ruminate on your insecurities.

See my infographic below to find out more about the traits of an attractive man. You can also read my dating tips for men article.

9 dating techniques for men to use around women

Dating advice for men who chase women

The best dating advice for men who chase women is to return to your centre and stop being so influenced by external opportunities.

What I mean by this is that as soon as you enter into a chasing mentality you lose control of your emotional wellbeing.

Just think for a second what it is like when you are waiting for a girl to reply to your message?

As soon as you are waiting for that girl to respond you have moved away from your centre.

A Mandala

There is a supreme power that comes from staying in your centre and allowing women, life and luxury to flow towards you.

Look up an image online called a mandala, which is one of the oldest and most powerful images in the world.

Once you have seen it you will recognise it everywhere in art, jewellery and even women’s tattoos.

Your centre

For Carl Jung studying his book and in his therapy (and me personally), the mandala is an expression of our inner-self where we are situated at the centre of the mandala.

It is thought-provoking to look at a mandala and think about everything around the outside representing different aspects of our life, with ourselves placed at the central point.

With a mandala, the belief is that if we move away from our centre, then our whole life goes out of balance.

When this happens we:

  • Fall into a chasing mentality
  • Become reliant on external validation
  • Become desperate in our outlook with women

Trying too hard

I remember teaching this principle on a Skype group coaching session. At the time, for me, it was a simple idea and part of the wider dating confidence course. After the event, all four clients on the call messaged me and wanted me to coach them more in this specific area. This ideal now forms a larger proportion of my dating confidence coaching blueprint.

If this way of life interests you then, as per the image below, I can help you to stop chasing women by leading a life of self-expression.

To find out more then visit my live training page and schedule a consultation with me.

Model next to three ways to help men stop chasing women

Dating advice for insecure men

The best dating advice for insecure men is to work on overcoming the main insecurities in your life.

The reason for this is because when you are insecure you come across to women like you are lacking something and perhaps trying to solve your issues through them.

If only I could be in a relationship with an attractive girl my life would be better…

Not going to happen!

Sort your life out first and then allow women to join you later.

Dating strategy for insecure men

One simple way to avoid falling into insecure thought patterns or behaviours with women is to stop asking women for their number.

The reason why this strategy works is that it teaches you to slow down and engage women in conversation as opposed to being outcome-orientated.

I remember teaching this to a 23-year-old client in February 2020 (just before lockdown). I made it into a rule that he could not ask a single girl for her details for the duration of the course. He accepted the challenge and learned that if he focussed on having fun, slowing down and being relaxed then women found a way to ask for his details. He went from being desperate and try-hard to cool, calm and relaxed. No wonder women found him a more attractive dating prospect.

Conveying attractive qualities

If you stop asking for women’s details and find that they are not asking for your number, in my experience, you are not conveying your attractive qualities enough during the interaction.

One of the main reasons why women may not be attracted to you in conversation is because you are being too nice because of your insecurity around dating.

My infographic below outlines how you can become more secure around women.

I suggest also reading my how to stop being the nice guy article to learn how to apply the techniques to your own life.

5 dating advice tips for men to stop being friend-zoned

Dating advice for confident men

The best piece of dating advice for confident men is to end the interaction first when you are talking to women you find attractive.

This can be by looking at your watch. Or simply telling her that you have somewhere to be and therefore have to go.

This is a powerful way to communicate with women.

Super confidence

Right from the outset, you are demonstrating that you have more important aspects of your life as opposed to simply meeting women.

By ending the interaction first you come across as:

  • Relaxed about your dating life
  • Not requiring her validation
  • Having stuff going on in your life

I recall teaching this strategy to a client of mine in Barcelona in 2019. Before hiring me, he would get women’s numbers and find that they would not message him back. The reason for this was because he was exchanging details when the conversation was full of energy. But then sapping all of the energy by waiting for the girl to end the conversation first. To combat this, I taught him to exchange details and then to stay no longer than two more minutes. His aim was to maintain the energy in this period, then to look at his watch and explain that he had to get to an appointment.

This simple strategy allowed my client to get 80% more replies. He was, therefore, able to go on more dates with the women he was meeting in his day-to-day life.

If you have enjoyed this article and want to get better dating results, then you should consider taking one of my live training courses to elevate your dating life.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help men in their dating life


  • Meet more women. The more women you meet, the less likely you are to be needy because you have more dating options.
  • Creatively self-express. It could be writing, podcasting, drawing, singing or music. Whatever it is, have a creative outlet that you are always working on. This is a noticeably confident thing to do.
  • Stay in your centre. Get an image of a mandala. Every time you think about being needy, look at it and move back to your centre. This is life-changing.
  • Let her ask for your details. Or if you want to ask, then say, “How do you suggest we stay in contact?” This is a fun and less needy way than simply asking directly for her number.
  • End the interaction first. If you do this you are conveying that you have important things to do. You are leaving it on a high, which means the girl will remember the interaction as being fun and positive.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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