Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this episode, I’m going to share with you my top five dating lessons that you can use whilst you’re interacting with women that will save you a lot of pain and a lot of anxiety in your dating interactions.


Dating Lessons For Life #1 – take every opportunity as it presents itself during your daily activities.


Now, what do I mean by that? Most of us, most of the time are in ‘work mode’ or we’re in ‘gym mode’ or in ‘meeting family’ mode.  And we only allow ourselves a small window during our weekly activities for ‘meeting women’ mode, which is, I‘m going to go out on a night out and then I’m going to meet women there, or I’m going to go speed dating.

And if you look at those hours weekly, what you’ll find is that you’re not allowing yourself enough time to take the opportunity to speak and interact with more women. Now, what I’m going to do is to share three signals that women will typically give you during your day to day life that they’d like to have a conversation with you. And the reason why I’m sharing these is that once you become aware that a girl may be interested in you and may be attracted you, it will give you the confidence to start a conversation.

And if you allow yourself the opportunity to start more conversations your dating life will be enriched tenfold. So the first thing that women tend to do if they like you is to get close enough to you to have a conversation. Now, this roughly means 1.5 metres away from you and they may stand with their back to you or their body side-on. This is a key indicator that they would like to talk to you. Because if they’re not interested, typically they’re going to stand a lot further away. So that’s the first indicator.

The second indicator is if a girl plays with her hair. Now hair playing is because she has an instinctive response, an adrenaline rush, that you are an attractive man. And the way that women typically deal with that feeling is to play with their hair. If you think about it, when you see an attractive girl, typically you have an adrenaline rush in your body and a surge of energy; well it is the same way. And most of the time women will play with their hair as a way of getting rid of that energy in their body and also as a way of showing interest in you.

And the final body language that women may display when they want to have a conversation is that they will stand with one leg crossed over the other. And the reason for this is because it is a body language pose to highlight that they’re not in a rush. Because think about it, when you’re talking to someone who you don’t want to speak to, typically your feet will be facing away from them so that you can walk away quickly.

If a girl is exhibiting all three of those signals, it’s a clear go-ahead signal that you can start a conversation with her. And what happens is the more that you can start to interact with women during your daily activities, the better your dating life will become because there’ll be less pressure to meet women during your set windows and more opportunities to interact with women during your day to day life.


Dating Lessons For Life #2 always leave the interaction first.


On my dating confidence courses, I cannot tell you over the past 10 years how many amazing interactions I’ve seen between one of my clients and a girl fizzle out because he stayed in the interaction too long.

It does not matter how good you are socially, it does not even matter how good you are as a communicator. If you continue a conversation over a period of time which is too long, eventually it will fizzle out. So a few things that you can do here is to give yourself a set parameter such as when I first meet a girl, I’m only going to allow a five-minute window initially to get to know her. That is a really strong boundary to put into place that will allow you to come across as attractive.

The second thing that you can do is to physically look at your watch during the interaction. What this does is give off a sign that you’re in a rush and you have somewhere else to be. When you do that, what tends to happen is that the person that you’re interacting with (if it’s going well), will experience a fear of loss. We’ve all felt like this ourselves; if an interaction is going really well and you don’t want the other person to leave, well you can create exactly the same response by being the person that is about to leave first. That is an extremely powerful tool to implement in maintaining attraction at an early stage.


Dating Lessons For Life #3 – exchange details with a girl that you like as soon as she is interested in you.


Over the years, there are many times when you’re in a wonderful interaction with a girl and something outside of your control happens, like her phone rings and she answers it and her friend is half a mile down the street and she has to go immediately to meet her. Or you’re in a bar or an evening setting, your interaction is going really well and her friend comes back who feels a little bit jealous or doesn’t want her talking to you anymore… And what happens is she will take her away and you’ll lose the opportunity to exchange details.

So in future when you are interacting with women, one of the things that you can do as soon as a girl is interested in you, is say, “I don’t have long. I may have to go to meet my friends, but let’s exchange details now in case we miss the chance later.” Once you have exchanged details, you can relax because you know that this isn’t the end of the interaction.

Now that one piece of advice will save you a mass of pain and anxiety in your dating life because there are so many times on a day to day basis when the opportunity to take or exchange details with a girl will be taken away from you. So as soon as you think a girl is interested in you then exchange details immediately, and that will allow you to be more relaxed in your interactions and also to follow up with a girl later on.


Dating Lessons For Life #4 – use your imagination when interacting with women.


On my life training courses clients often say to me I’m only interested in talking to girls who I view as super attractive and I’m really not interested in talking to anyone else.

And this is a theme that I have heard over the years, many times. The problem or the issue with this type of thinking is that you are severely reducing your opportunity to speak and to interact with women because you’re putting a barrier up that prevents you from showcasing your personality. In my experience, if you are looking for beauty, you tend to find it. And what do I mean by that? I mean that if you’re interacting with a girl who you deem to be super attractive, that typically doesn’t happen that often.

So what you can do is you can use your imagination to find things about other women that you’re speaking to, to find them more attractive. This is a really potent tool because when you shift your attention from, “That girl is not up to my standards,” to, “What do I find attractive about this girl?”, then instantly you’re looking for beauty, and if you look for beauty, you see beauty. And what will happen is that, rather than speaking to one girl every two weeks which a lot of people do, all of a sudden you’ll see opportunities to interact with 10 girls a day.

And these interactions don’t necessarily need to be dating interactions. They can be getting to know people, practising, showcasing your personality. There have been many times where this has happened and the girl that my client’s speaking to then introduces him to one of their friends because he has come across as charismatic and charming. So you want to make sure that you are looking for beauty and not putting barriers up that say, “I’m only talking to certain girls, and I’m not wasting my time.”

The thing with that type of thinking is that you will waste your time because the opportunity to talk to that one ideal girl will probably only come around once every two weeks. So shifting your thinking and looking for reasons to find women attractive and beautiful will allow you to showcase your personality, allow your charisma to come through and to keep practising interacting with people. It’s a very potent tool. And on my training courses, it’s one of the reasons why clients tend to get really good results because all of a sudden the world’s opened up to them and it’s almost like the pressure’s off, I can talk to more people. And it’s a wonderful thing to experience as well.


Dating Lessons For Life #5 – when you are interacting with a girl and her friends show up, then to get the girl to introduce you to her friends immediately.


The reason for this is because if a group of girls are all together on a night out and all of a sudden you’re speaking to one of the girls, then you’re effectively taking her away from the group. The only option you have here is to join that group or to allow her friends to join your group. Otherwise, what will happen is that there will be a divide and the girls will move on to a different part of the bar, the club, or a different venue completely.

So there are a few ways in which you can do this. You can say to the girl you’re speaking to, “Introduce me to your friends,” as a very simple way of doing it. The other thing you can do is you can say to the friend, “By the way, this is my name. I can’t believe your friend hasn’t introduced me,” and that’s a little bit flirty. It’s a way of engaging the girl in conversation a little bit more and getting the groups to join together. Because again, most guys, most of the time when they’re speaking to one attractive girl, they will monopolise her conversation, at the exclusion of her friends. And what will happen? Her friends will get annoyed and they will pull her out and most of the time you haven’t exchanged details or gotten her number and you leave yourself in a situation where you’ve completely ruined a good dating potential.


So just to round up this episode, I’m going to go over my top five dating lessons for life.


  • The first of my dating lessons for life was to take every single dating opportunity that presents itself during your day to day life. Don’t just have a set window of meeting women on a Saturday night. Allow yourself the opportunity when women are giving you key go-ahead signals such as hair playing, legs crossed, and getting proximity with you, as an opportunity to start a conversation.
  • The second of my dating lessons for life was to always leave the interaction first by giving yourself a window of time, perhaps five minutes when you’re first talking to her, looking at your watch to indicate that you’re in a rush and always leaving first. This way if the interaction is going well, you are allowing the other person to feel like they’d like you to stay longer and that’s a very attractive trait.
  • The third of my dating lessons for life was to exchange details as soon as a girl is interested in you. Because this will save you so much time, pain and anxiety in trying to get her number later on when her friends have turned up or when there’s just no opportunity to exchange details.
  • The fourth of my dating lessons for life was to use your imagination. And this means to look for attractive qualities in women that you’re meeting. Don’t be so tense and so limiting in your outlook by saying, “I’m only going to talk and date this type of girl.” Relax, look for beauty. When that happens, you will be able to showcase your personality, allow your charisma to come through and practise talking to more people.
  • The fifth of my dating lessons for life is when you are speaking to a girl in a social setting, either get her to introduce you to her friends or introduce yourself to her friends and get the two groups to join together because that will stop the divide and allow you to spend more time together. I hope you have enjoyed today’s episode and I will catch you next time.

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Gary GunnGary Gunn – Founder of Social Attraction


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