Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to share with you my top five dating lessons for life that you can use whilst you are interacting with women.

These dating lessons will do the following:

  • They will help expand your thinking
  • Save you a lot of pain and anxiety in your dating interactions
  • Help you meet, interact and exchange contact details with women in a fun dynamic way

Dating Lessons For Life #1 – Take Every Opportunity As It Presents Itself


When we go about our day-to-day lives, most of us compartmentalise ourselves to be in:

  • ‘Work’ mode
  • ‘Gym’ mode
  • ‘Meeting family’ mode

And we only allow ourselves a small window during our weekly activities for ‘meeting women’ mode.

We may tell ourselves: “I’m going to go on a night out and then I’m going to meet women there.” Or “I’m going to go speed dating.

However, if you take a moment to look at those hours weekly.

What becomes abundantly clear is that you are not allowing yourself enough time to take the opportunity to speak and interact with more women.


Recognise the signals she gives when she wants to be approached.


I am now going to outline three key signals that a woman will typically give you during your day-to-day life to convey she would like to have a conversation with you.

I am sharing these because, once you become aware that a girl may be interested in you, it will give you the confidence to start a conversation.

Moreover, if you allow yourself the opportunity to start more conversations, your dating life will be enriched tenfold.


She will get proximity.


So the first thing that women tend to do if they like you is to get close enough to you to have a conversation.

This is a key indicator that she would like to talk to you.

  • This means approximately 1.5 metres away from you. She may stand with her back to you or her body side-on
  • In contrast, if a woman is not interested, more often she is going to stand a lot further away

The second indicator is if a girl plays with her hair.

A girl playing with her hair is an instinctive response, an adrenaline rush, that hits when she is attracted to you.

When you see an attractive girl, typically you have an adrenaline rush in your body and a surge of energy; well it is the same way for women.

Women will routinely play with their hair as a way of getting rid of that energy in their body.


Hair playing is also a way of showing interest in you.


The final body language that women may display when they want to have a conversation is that they will stand with one leg crossed over the other.

Again let’s take a moment to consider when you are talking to someone who you don’t actually want to speak to. Your feet will be facing away from them so that you can walk away quickly.

In contrast, when someone stands with their leg crossed one over the other, it is a body language pose that conveys the following:

  • Signifies they are not in a rush to leave
  • Shows they don’t want to walk away
  • They are happy to stay at that moment speaking to you

If a girl is exhibiting all three of those signals it is a clear go-ahead sign that you can start a conversation with her.

As per the image below we can teach you how to read a woman’s go ahead signals. 

To find out more about our coaching then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.


A model with three ways to read her go-ahead signals


Dating Lessons For Life #2 – Always Leave The Interaction First


On my dating confidence courses, I cannot tell you over the past 10 years how many amazing interactions I have seen between one of my clients and a girl fizzle out. This is because he stayed in the interaction too long.

It does not matter how good you are socially. It does not even matter how good you are as a communicator.

If you continue a conversation over a period of time which is too long, eventually it will fizzle out.

There are a few key things that you can do here.

Firstly, you can give yourself a set parameter.

It could be: When I first meet a girl, I’m only going to allow a five-minute window initially to get to know her.

That is a really strong boundary to put into place that will help you to come across as attractive.


Setting a time constraint will build attraction.


The second thing that you can do is to physically look at your watch during the interaction.

What this does is give off a sign that you are in a rush. You only have limited time as you have somewhere else to be.

When you do that, what tends to happen is that the person that you are interacting with (if it is going well), will experience a fear of loss.

We have all felt like this ourselves; if an interaction is going really well and you don’t want the other person to leave.

Significantly, you can elicit the exact same response by being the person that is about to leave first.

That is an extremely powerful tool to implement in maintaining attraction at an early stage.

For other ways to create healthy boundaries in your dating interactions take a look at my infographic below. I also suggest you read my article to learn more about how to implement these three strategiesHealthy Boundaries With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 3 Ways).


3 ways to embed healthy boundaries in your dating life


Dating Lessons For Life #3 – Exchange Details As Soon As Possible


There are many times when you are in a wonderful interaction with a girl and something outside of your control happens.

For instance:

  • Perhaps her phone rings and her friend is half a mile down the street and she has to go immediately to meet her
  • You are in a bar and your interaction is going well, but her friend comes back who feels jealous and the energy drops

Moreover, perhaps her friend will take her away and you will lose the opportunity to exchange details.

To counter these possibilities, one of the things that you can do as soon as a girl is interested in you, is say:

“I don’t have long. I may have to go to meet my friends, but let’s exchange details now in case we miss the chance later.”

This is because you know that this isn’t the end of the interaction.


Exchanging details allows you to relax.


Now that one piece of advice will save you a mass of pain and anxiety in your dating life.

There are so many times on a daily basis when the opportunity to take or exchange details with a girl will be taken away from you.

So as soon as you think a girl is interested in you then exchange details immediately.

That will allow you to be more relaxed in your interactions and also to follow up with a girl later on.

To progress any interaction further take a look at my infographic below to learn 9 fun ways to flirt with a girl. For more detail, including the other 8 techniques, you can read my article here – How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 17 Ways).


9 ways to flirt after you have beaten the fear of approaching women


Dating Lessons For Life #4 – Use Your Imagination When Interacting With Women


On my live training courses, clients often say to me:

I’m only interested in talking to girls who I view as super attractive. I’m really not interested in talking to anyone else.”

This is a theme that I have heard over the years many times.

  • The issue with this type of thinking is that you are severely reducing your opportunity to interact with women
  • You are putting a barrier up that prevents you from showcasing your personality

In my experience, if you are looking for beauty, you tend to find it. And what do I mean by that?

I mean that that typically it doesn’t happen all that often when you will find yourself interacting with a girl who you deem to be super attractive from the outset.


Soften your mental approach.


So what you can do is you can use your imagination to find things about other women that you are speaking to, to find them more attractive.

By shifting your attention from the thinking of “That girl is not up to my standards,” to “What do I find attractive about this girl?” Instantly you are looking for beauty.

And if you look for beauty, you see beauty.

The end result will be rather than speaking to one girl every two weeks, all of a sudden, you will see opportunities to interact with 10 girls a day.


Develop your social intelligence.


These interactions don’t need to be dating interactions.

They can simply be getting to know people, practising, showcasing your personality.

There have been many times where the girl that my client is speaking to then introduces him to one of their friends.

The reason for this is because he has come across as charismatic and charming.

To sum up, you want to make sure that you are looking for beauty and not putting barriers up. Particularly barriers that telegraph: “I’m only talking to certain girls, and I’m not wasting my time.”

The problem with that type of thinking is it is too polarised, too exclusive, and you will still waste your time.

The opportunity to talk to that one ideal girl will perhaps only come around once every two weeks if that.


Be inclusive and speak to a variety of different women.


So shifting your thinking to looking for reasons to find women attractive will do the following:

  • Gives you the opportunity to showcase your personality
  • Enables your charisma to come through
  • Lets you practise interacting with people

On my training courses, it is one of the reasons why clients tend to get really good results because all of a sudden the world has opened up to them.

It is almost like the pressure is now off; “I can talk to more people,” which is a wonderful thing to experience.

As per the image below we can teach you how to approach attractive women.

To find out more about our training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.


Model looking at camera with three ways to approach attractive women


Dating Lessons For Life #5 – Get Introduced To Her Friends


If a group of girls are all together on a night out and you are speaking to only one of the girls then, in effect, you are taking her away from the group.

The only option you have here is to join that group or to allow her friends to join your group.

Otherwise, what will happen is that there will be a divide and the girls will move on.

Probably to a different part of the bar, the club, or a different venue completely.

So there are a few ways in which you can counter this:

  • You can simply say to the girl you are speaking to: “Introduce me to your friends”
  • The other thing you can do is you can say to one of her friends: “By the way, this is my name. I can’t believe your friend hasn’t introduced me”

It is a little bit flirty, a little bit funny.


Including her friends will keep the interaction going.


It is a way of engaging the girl’s friends in conversation more and getting the groups to join together.

It also demonstrates you have great social intelligence; meaning that you are socially aware and an effective communicator.

When most guys are speaking to an attractive girl, they will monopolise her conversation. However, at the exclusion of her friends.

And what will happen?

  • Her friends will get annoyed
  • They will pull her away
  • You haven’t exchanged details or gotten her number

To sum up, you leave yourself in a situation where you have completely ruined a good dating potential.

To learn more about social intelligence, and how to demonstrate it to women, take a look at my infographic below.

You can also read my article for more detail on this and the other types of intelligence you want to convey in your conversations with women – How To Carry On A Conversation With Women | The Complete Guide.


3 types of intelligence to convey in your conversations with women


Dating Lessons For Life – Summary


Here are my top five dating lessons for life:

  • #1 – Take every single dating opportunity that presents itself during your day to day life. Don’t limit your time to meeting women to a set slot in your weekly schedule. Recognise the signs a woman gives when she wants to be approached; proximity, hair playing, and one leg crossed over the other in conversation.
  • #2 – Always leave the interaction first by giving yourself a window of time. Perhaps five minutes when you are first talking to her. Looking at your watch to indicate that you are in a rush and always leaving first.
  • #3 – Exchange details as soon as a girl is interested in you. This will save you so much time and anxiety in trying to get her number when her friends arrive.
  • #4 – Use your imagination. And this means to look for attractive qualities in women that you are meeting. Don’t be so tense and so limited in your outlook.
  • #5 – When you are speaking to a girl in a social setting. Either get her to introduce you to her friends or introduce yourself to her friends. Get the two groups to join to stop the divide.

Get My Latest Dating Tips
Straight To Your Inbox

Gain access to my latest dating advice.
Emailed to you every week.


*100% secure. We will not share, spam or sell your information.

Social Attraction Dating Tips Newsletter