Dating Tips For Men | Nine Psychological Tools (that attractive men use)

Dating Tips For Men | Nine Psychological Tools (that attractive men use)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to go through my top dating tips for men. Specifically, my nine different psychological tools that you can use to be more captivating to women.

In a nutshell, if you can introduce any of these into your dating interactions you will find:

  • Women are likely to message you more
  • That the quality and texture of your conversations will improve
  • They will become more invested in seeing you as a potential dating partner

Dating Tips For Men #1 – Slow Down Your Voice

The first way – or the first psychological tool – to influence a girl to become invested in you is to slow down your voice at set periods. This enables you to enter into a seductive frame.

When I am recording a podcast I speak at the pace I usually speak at day-to-day.

However, if I suddenly wanted to introduce a seductive frame, what I would do is simply slow down how I am speaking.

By slowing down my pace:

  • I have more control over my words
  • I come across as far more relaxed, calm and dominant with my voice

How to create an attractive male voice?

So you have a normal speaking pace, and then you choose to slow your voice down at set points in the conversation.

This highlights that you have control over your voice.

This has a huge impact when you are speaking to women.

Because most guys go higher pitched and speak faster when they are talking to women they find attractive.

As a rule, if you can actually slow it down, at set moments when you are having a conversation.

This will make a big difference to your dating results.

If you struggle to slow down your words there is a basic and simple technique that actor’s use which will help you.

This is something that I teach in my dating confidence courses.

How do I slow down my voice?

All you have to do is look at your reflection in front of a mirror and hold eye contact with yourself. You then practise putting 30% of your peripheral vision on the floor.

In effect, moving from 100% looking at your own eyes to 30% of your gaze now looking at the floor.

This has the effect of slowing down your voice with immediate effect.

It is subtle, but women will pick up on this.

How to create a seductive male voice?

Two suggestions here:

  • Stand in front of the mirror and practise holding eye contact with yourself and altering your peripheral vision as mentioned above.
  • Put a picture of an attractive woman in front of the mirror and you can practise holding her eye-contact as you go through the ritual of slowing down your voice

That is one of the most impactful things that you can do as a man in conversation.

To know when a woman is responsive to you below is my infographic that outlines the key signs to look out for.

I also recommend you read my corresponding article, which you can access here – Signs She Wants You Sexually | The Ultimate Men’s Guide (top five ways).

5 signals to look out for when a woman is attracted to you

Dating Tips For Men #2 – Triangle Eye Contact Approach

The second psychological tool you can employ to get a girl to chase you is to use the triangle eye contact.

This is generally used to lead a girl up to kiss you, but you don’t just have to use it in this scenario.

What you can do is simply use this in your conversations, and it is very persuasive.

How to hold seductive eye contact with women?

First of all, you slow down your voice, as I referred to in the first dating tip above.

Then when you have slowed down, what you do is you practise an upside-down triangle.

In effect, this means looking at:

  • Her left eye
  • Her right eye
  • Then her lips
  • Back up to her eye
  • Then the other eye
  • Finally back to her lips

Again, you can practise this in front of a mirror.

This upside-down triangle is very seductive eye contact.

It shows confidence as you are not looking away, you are not looking down, and you are not looking up.

Instead, you are gazing into her eyes with a slower voice.

How to hold powerful eye contact with women?

Holding powerful eye contact with women requires confidence.

  • A lot of guys will hold eye contact while they are listening to a girl
  • However, it is far more powerful if you learn to do it while you are speaking to a girl

If you are speaking and you are able to hold eye contact with the triangle gaze and slow down your voice.

That is where the magic really happens.

My infographic underneath summarises how to attain seductive eye contact.

To learn more about the power of seductive eye contact you can read my article here – Eye Contact Attraction | The Power Of Eye Sex (what you need to know)

Simple guide to seducing her with your eye contact in 3 steps

Dating Tips For Men #3 – Talk About Other Women

The third psychological tool to get a girl to chase you is a bit cheeky – and I like cheeky because it is fun.

You can talk about another girl in the vicinity about having something attractive about her.

How to get women to chase you?

So you can be talking to a girl and you say something like:

Oh, that girl over there, she’s got really nice hair. I love the way she dresses. I like this about her.

Or you can talk about your female friend.

The idea is:

  • You take the attention away from the girl that you are speaking to
  • And instead, you put your focus and attention onto someone else

Take a moment to imagine that the girl you like mentioned another guy in this way.

For instance, if she pointed out: “Oh wow, look how big and muscly that guy over there is.”

You can see that it would rattle you.

How to balance the power in dating?

The technique above balances the power of your interaction.

It is a bit mischievous, but it is also a bit fun too because you don’t want to be paying her compliments all the time.

This is a subtle way of flirting, but it has the effect of making someone want to be around you more.

And as I say, you only need to imagine a woman doing it to you and you can consider the impact that it has.

Simply point out:

“I like what that girl is wearing over there. Or I like the way she’s done her makeup.”

Something very straightforward, it will get a reaction. 

As per the image below we can teach you other ways to turn a woman on in conversation.

To find out more about our tuition then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model showing how to turn a woman on in conversation

Dating Tips For Men #4 – Friend-Zone Her

The fourth psychological technique to get a girl to chase you is to friend-zone her for fun.

There is a lot of talk about friend-zoning women online.

Why should you friend zone women?

To give this more depth than what you have heard before – the reason why friend-zoning an attractive woman is not only entertaining,  it is also flirty.

It gets her more invested in you because it creates uncertainty.

You see if most people that you speak to are attracted to you. Then someone comes along and consigns you to the friend-zone, automatically that engenders a feeling of uncertainty.

She will be thinking to herself:

  • “Well, why doesn’t this guy like me?
  • What is it about me?
  • Why is he not attracted to me?”

How does the friend-zone approach work?

Friend-zoning women creates uncertainty.

So you are not putting her in a straightforward category. What you are doing is conveying in an entertaining way:

“Okay, I’m just going to create a bit of uncertainty about whether I like you or not.

And we have all felt the feeling of this when a girl friend-zones us.

Therefore don’t be afraid to try this out and have fun with it.


  • Dating should be entertaining
  • It should be fun

In fact, if you are not having fun, then you are probably being too serious and too pent-up – qualities which are not attractive.

To learn more about the unattractive qualities to avoid conveying to women in conversation, have a look at my infographic below.

To access the related article where I go into detail on how to avoid displaying these in conversation click the link – Dating Coach For Men | 9 Signs Of Male Insecurity That Turn Women Off.

9 signs of male insecurity that turn women off

Dating Tips For Men #5 – Focus On Self-Expression

The fifth psychological tool to get a girl to chase you is to stop chasing women and to use your time to self-express instead.

Self-expression, for me, is one of the most important parts of my life.

How does self-expression make you more attractive?

I articulate my thoughts on the value of self-expression towards everyone that I coach, whether it takes the form of writing, whether it is a podcast or a YouTube channel.

Ultimately, if you imagine that all the knowledge you have accrued in your life is like a balloon, you will get more and more full of air until you have to eventually let some of that air out.

The way in which I like to do that is by self-expressing.

I would go as far as to say that that self-expression is innate within all of us because we all like to share information about what we have learned.

Two points to remember here:

  • Instead, put your thoughts on a proper platform, record it once or write it once, and when you have done it you will feel cleansed

The more you self-express, the more attractive you become.

How to self-express to become attractive?

When I first launched my podcast, the first 30 episodes just flew out of me.

I was literally emptying myself of information and I felt amazing afterwards. I felt ready to learn again. So self-expression is huge.

The other benefit of this with regards to getting a girl to chase you is that:

  • You can talk about what you are doing and how you self-express
  • Women will often ask to see what you are doing or ask for more information about it

So what this does is it stops you chasing her, but it also gives you valuable conversational topics.

You can be talking to a girl and you can say: “Oh yeah, I was recording a podcast episode about that the other day.” 

“Oh, you have a podcast?

A hugely attractive thing to do.

Creatively self-expressing is one aspect that will stop you being too try-hard or needy in your interactions with women. In my infographic below you will find another 4 ways to consider:

5 dating tips to stop conveying neediness to women

Dating Tips For Men #6 – Use Intermittent Texting

The sixth psychological tool to get a girl to chase you is to use intermittent texting.

I am a big advocate of intermittent texting.

If you are on YouTube, you have probably heard of intermittent fasting, which is basically only eating during set hours of the day.

How to text women?

Intermittent texting works exactly the same way. You only reply to women’s messages during set hours.

For example:

  • You can do 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm
  • Followed by 8:00 pm to 9:00 pm

During those two hours, you can text as much as you want, but you are not allowed to have any contact outside of those zones.

It is a fantastic way of managing your life so you are not always on your phone.

When to text women?

Additionally, it is a great way of not messaging too much all of the time.

In fact, not being so available and responsive in your text messaging will cause her to:

  • Wonder why you are not messaging her outside of those hours
  • Think about you more and become more invested

What to text women?

Below I have included my infographic to give you some great text messaging strategies to help you flirt in your messages with women.

You can also read my related article here to learn how to implement these effectively – How To Text Women | Top Strategies (that every man needs to know)

11 dating tips for men to flirt over text message

Dating Tips For Men #7 – Adopt The 10 Gold Coins Approach

The seventh psychological technique to get a girl to chase you is to use the 10 gold coins strategy to create mystery.

Mystery is alluring, mystery is enigmatic, and mystery is intoxicating.

How to flirt with women?

The way that you become mysterious when you first meet a woman is to not answer her questions directly.

So she asks you any of the following:

  • “What’s your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do for a living?”

You don’t answer it.

Imagine that you have 10 gold coins and every time you answer her question directly, you lose one of your gold coins. You can view this as her level of attraction towards you.

Don’t give away your gold coins freely.

That is one of the simplest, easiest and most effective strategies I teach in my courses.

As per the image below we can teach you other strategies to help you to attract women in bars and clubs.

To find out more about our training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model standing next to three ways to attract women in bars and clubs

Dating Tips For Men #8 – End The Conversation First

The eighth psychological technique to get a girl to chase you is to always end the conversation first.

This is powerful and it makes you feel great when you do it:

  • When you are having a conversation, look at your watch: “Oh, is that the time? I’ve got to go”
  • Or if you are calling her up over the phone: “I’ve only got 15 minutes”

How to limit your time with women?

When you limit your time, it has the effect of building value because other guys that she meets are so pleased to talk to her, that she is always the one who ends the conversation.

So you can end it abruptly.

Simply say: “Okay, anyway, it’s been nice talking to you. I’ve got to go.”

Having that time constraint is attractive.

It will get women wondering what else you are doing instead of talking to them.

Additionally, it conveys that you have a busy attractive lifestyle.

My infographic below gives you another 4 valuable lessons that will improve your dating results.

Read my article to learn how to implement these lessons into your life – Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

5 dating tips attractive men use

Dating Tips For Men #9 – Remain In Your Centre

The ninth and final psychological technique to get a girl to chase you is to never ask for her details.

Never try to kiss her, never try anything at all.

How to be attractive to women?

Stay in your centre.

This is one of the highest ideals that I teach to my clients on advanced courses; to position yourself in the centre of your life, where you are not chasing anything.

Instead, you let everything flow towards you:

  • Live a value centred life and stay in your centre
  • That starts by having value to give to the world and by not chasing anything

Never asking for her details will have the effect of her wanting to know why, especially if you are having fun together.

It is a very powerful tool and it will also eventually lead to her asking you.

How to lead an attractive lifestyle?

Living a value centred life is one way of ensuring you retain your self-identity and attraction to women.

My infographic below gives more ways to ensure you have appropriate boundaries in your dating interactions.

Lastly, I recommend you read my corresponding article to learn more about implementing these lessons into your own life – Healthy Boundaries With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 3 Ways)

3 ways to embed healthy boundaries - dating tip for men


Here are the nine psychological tools to get a girl to chase you:

  • #1 – Slow down your voice to enter into a seductive frame.
  • #2 – Use the upside-down triangle eye contact technique to create sexual tension.
  • #3 – Talk about other women in the vicinity.
  • #4 – Friend-zone her for fun and to create uncertainty.
  • #5 – Spend your spare time self-expressing in some way.
  • #6 – Use intermittent texting.
  • #7 – Use my famous 10 gold coins strategy. Really, it’s that good.
  • #8 – Always end the conversation first.
  • #9 – Stay in your centre. Never ask for her details, never try to kiss her, and never try to date her. That will get her to chase you immensely.

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