Dating Tips For Men | The Comprehensive Guide (updated 2021)

Dating Tips For Men | The Comprehensive Guide (updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to go through my top dating tips for men. You will learn powerful principles that you can use to be more captivating, alluring and attractive to women.

Covered in this feature:

  • A simple eye contact and voice technique (that is seductive)
  • How to overcome validation-seeking behaviour with women (fast)
  • A texting strategy that creates an attractive personal boundary (guaranteed)

To give you context I have updated this article with stories of clients of mine using these dating tips in the real world. These narratives will give you a further understanding of how and when to implement each strategy.

If you would like to become instantly more attractive to women, review our client testimonials and book onto our next dating confidence course. Watch them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

Successful dating tips for men

The best successful dating tip for men is to slow down your voice at set periods. This enables you to enter into a seductive frame with women.

For example, when I am recording a podcast episode, I speak at the pace I speak at day-to-day.

However, if I wanted to introduce a seductive frame, I would slow down and use fewer words per minute. By slowing down my pace:

  • I have more control over my words
  • My voice sounds commanding
  • I become more relaxed

How to slow down your voice?

I know that slowing down your pace when you are speaking to attractive women is likely to be the last thought on your mind.

You can be thinking about what to say next, feeling sweat on your palms or may even stutter your words. This is where taking a breath can help you to calm down.

I recall teaching this to a 43-year-old client on Skype a few weeks ago. His anxiety with women was enormous. He had read many dating books and watched thousands of YouTube videos and yet he would stutter every time he got into a conversation with a lady he found attractive. So he hired me to help (my money-back guarantee was favourable for believing that I could help him). In the first session, we focussed only on him pausing and breathing in through his nose before he replied to my female coaching assistant. This cured his anxiety with immediate effect.

Many of my clients have lifelong issues with women which, when they seek the counsel of a professional, are eradicated (sometimes within minutes).

If you have any issues around talking to women that you would like to resolve, as per the image below, I can help you. To find out more about Social Attraction courses visit my live training page.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help you to talk to any woman

Dating tips for men who want to be successful with women

The best dating tip for men who want to be more successful with women is to use what is known as ‘upside-down triangle’ eye contact when you are speaking to women.

In effect, this means looking at:

  • Her left eye
  • Her right eye
  • Then her lips
  • Back up to her left eye
  • Then to her right eye
  • Finally back down to her lips
  • Then repeat

The reason why this type of eye contact is attractive to women is that it demonstrates confidence. In fact, it is the type of eye contact that is exhibited the moment before a first kiss is shared together.

How to hold powerful eye contact with women?

Holding upside-down triangle eye contact with women requires confidence.

Over the years of teaching this technique, I have found the following:

  • A lot of us will hold eye contact while a girl is speaking
  • Not many of us can hold eye contact when we are speaking

However, the magic happens when we overcome our anxiety with women and implement this eye contact.

When I was teaching this to a 29-year-old client in London about four years ago, he was unable to use this strategy. He would look down and away even when a girl was speaking to him. So we broke this principle down to its easiest steps. The first step was to look at the bottom of her ear when she was speaking (as this is not direct eye contact most of us can do this right away). When he was able to do this, we moved onto looking at her lips and then onto her left eye and then her right eye. Within twenty minutes of practice, he could use this strategy so well that the model working for me began to look down and away from his powerful eye contact. If you do not know, this is a sign that a woman is sexually attracted to you.

I know that holding eye contact with women can be hard, which is why I have created the following infographic guide for you.

To learn more about the power of seductive eye contact then read my eye contact attraction article.

Dating tips for men on seductive eye contact

Proven dating tips for men

A proven dating tip for men is to talk about another girl in the vicinity about having something attractive about her looks or style.

In my experience, many of us can put a girl on a pedestal and would not dare mention anything about another woman.

However, by mentioning another girl in the vicinity we are demonstrating confidence.

How to demonstrate confidence?

All it takes is to point out that you like another girl’s outfit, makeup or even her colour clothes.

I recommend being genuine in your comments and only using this strategy when you do indeed like something about another girl who is nearby.

The idea is to be able to speak your mind around women without feeling self-conscious.

How to stop seeking women’s validation?

If you are petrified to use this technique then it indicates that you are seeking women’s validation.

You are scared about the negative response this may generate with the girl that you like.

Big mistake – if you are anxious about speaking your mind around women then you are destined to live an unfulfilled dating life.

How to start speaking your mind?

I remember teaching this technique to a 37-year-old client on a Skype session in November last year. He was scared to use this principle during a professional coaching session with me on the call with one of my female coaching assistants. So as you can imagine, he had no chance of speaking his mind in the real world. We started small and got him to mention a female friend and when he was comfortable with this, we moved on to speaking about women’s hairstyles that he liked. As his confidence grew we moved onto introducing other women that he found attractive. I film all of my Skype sessions so that clients can watch them back for ongoing learning. In watching back this footage, he was able to see that not only did women not mind these topics, in fact, it had the opposite effect of lighting up the interaction.

In the real world, fear gets in the way of living fulfilled dating lives.

If you would like to overcome your fears with women, as outlined in the image below, we can teach you how to do this as well as other ways to turn a woman on in conversation.

Find out more by visiting my live training page.

Model next to three coversational dating tips for men

Dating tips for shy guys 

A great dating tip for shy guys is to friend-zone a woman right at the start of your new interaction.

The reason why this will help you is that you are mentally and verbally putting a woman in your friend category, which allows you to overcome your shyness.

It takes some of that nerve-wracking pressure build-up and reduces it so that you can remain calm and have a conversation.

Creating uncertainty

Attractive women have scores of men chasing after them therefore it can be difficult to even speak to her when you are shy.

As a woman, if most people that she speaks to are attracted to her and a man then comes along and consigns her to the friend-zone, this automatically engenders feelings of uncertainty.

She will be thinking to herself:

  • What is it about me?
  • Well, why doesn’t this guy like me?
  • Why is he not attracted to me?

This way you relax whilst playfully creating uncertainty in the girl’s mind, which in my experience cures shyness.

I have created the infographic below to further help anyone with overcoming shyness. You should also read my dating coach for men article.

Dating advice for men on how to avoid conveying insecurity to women

Dating tips for introverted men

The best dating tip for introverted men is to not chase women and instead use your time to self-express instead.

Self-expression, for me, is one of the most important parts of my life.

When we are thinking in terms of expressing our truth to the world we automatically stop chasing after women.

How does self-expression make you more attractive?

I articulate my thoughts on the value of self-expression towards everyone that I coach, whether it takes the form of writing, whether it is a podcast or a YouTube channel.

Ultimately, if we imagine that all the knowledge we have accrued in our life is like a balloon, we will get more and more full of air until we have to eventually let some of that air out.

Self-expression is the medium that allows this to happen.

It builds confidence and self-efficacy which makes us a more attractive individual to be around.

How to self-express to become attractive?

When I first launched my podcast, the first 30 episodes just flew out of me.

I was emptying myself of information and I felt amazing afterwards. I felt ready to learn again.

The other benefit of this with regards to self-expression and meeting women is that:

  • We can talk to women about our creative outlets
  • It gives us an endless amount of conversation topics

If you would like to know more about the impact of self-expression in my life then you can watch the 100th episode of my podcast titled An Education In Gary Gunn.

Here you will also learn everything about Social Attraction if you are considering taking one of my dating confidence courses.

Gary Gunn being interviewed by Marc Cobbs for his 100th podcast episode

Dating tips for new relationships

The best dating tip for new relationships is to use intermittent texting. This is a technique for messaging women in a way that creates a healthy boundary at the start of your relationship.

Intermittent texting is when you are only allowed to message women during set periods of the day.

For example:

  • 2pm to 3pm
  • 8pm to 9pm

During those two hours, you can text as much as you want but you are not allowed to have any contact outside of these time zones.

Long-term attractive behaviours

Of course, you can change these times to suit your individual needs.

The main point here is that you should not be available all of the time or instantly ready to reply to a woman’s messages.

In fact, if you are readily available all of the time, you are setting an unhealthy relationship habit where you are limiting your personal freedom.

Limiting availability

Not being so available and responsive in our text messaging means:

  • She will wonder why we are not messaging her outside of those hours (which is healthy)
  • She will think about us more and become more invested (perfect… and all with you doing less)

I taught this strategy to a 46-year-old client in London last month who was dating a girl living in Brazil. He found that his texting was taking over his life. So instead, I suggested that he only text her to set up a video call together and then when he was on the video call, he should set up their next video call etc. This strategy worked with immediate effect and rather than being a slave to his phone he had set up a healthy long term boundary with his girlfriend. Both of them will be thankful for this strategy over the duration of their relationship.

If you want to improve your texting dialogue with women my text messaging infographic guide below will help you.

You can also read my how to text women article to learn more on how to implement these strategies.

11 dating tips for men to flirt over text message


  • Slow down your voice to enter into a seductive frame.
  • Use the upside-down triangle eye contact technique to create sexual tension.
  • Talk about other women in the vicinity to overcome validation-seeking behaviour.
  • Friend-zone women to reduce your shyness and create uncertainty.
  • Spend your time self-expressing your truth on a professional platform.
  • Use intermittent texting to form a healthy long-term relationship.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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