Daygame Approach Anxiety | Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

Daygame Approach Anxiety | Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

What is daygame approach anxiety, how do we overcome it and what are the best strategies to beat our fear of approaching attractive women?

In this article, I will explain:

  • The top three ways to destroy your daygame approach anxiety (once and for all)
  • How to have instant self-confidence to approach women (fast)
  • The best ways to approach women without fear (instant success)

Your ability to overcome daygame approach anxiety is the difference between being successful and unsuccessful in your dating life – period.

If you want to get over your daygame approach anxiety, then watch our client testimonials below and book onto one of our courses. View them on YouTube here: Daygame approach anxiety course for men reviews

dating confidence course for men

What causes daygame approach anxiety?

Approach anxiety is a fear of approaching women that we find attractive. It usually manifests in our body with a higher heart rate, clammy hands or perfuse sweating. Outwardly we tend to speak in a higher-pitched voice and speed up our words. We may even start stuttering.

Approach anxiety is caused by the belief that there is a high-level chance that we will be rejected if we approach a girl in that specific scenario. This could be in a bar, during the daytime or even online dating.

The key part to remember is that approach anxiety is the fear of potential rejection.

Fear of rejection

Did you know that approach anxiety takes as little as two seconds to manifest in our bodies?!?

The stimulus is that we see an attractive woman and then the response is we feel anxious two seconds later.

Importantly, we can create a new habit between the stimulus and our automatic response. This two-second widow is paramount to overcoming daygame approach anxiety – more on this later.

Overcoming the fear of rejection

If we believed 100% that all women would be receptive to our approach then our fear of rejection would be extinguished.

The good news is that if we learn how to overcome our fear of rejection then we also cure our approach anxiety simultaneously.

So let us understand exactly what the fear of rejection is…

Understanding the fear of rejection

Rejection is simply a sensation that we feel in our bodies, nothing more and nothing less. Once we understand that it is only a fleeting feeling we can then either prevent this sensation from coming up in the first place. Or we can reduce the feeling when we are anxious.

The end result is that if we remove the feeling of rejection we will be able to approach and speak to any woman at any time. In other words, we will be a  winner at daygame.

For more on what the term daygame means see my simple infographic guide below. If you want a better understanding of it, I recommend reading my daygame article where I cover various different aspects and also give helpful tips.

How to cure daygame approach anxiety?

The best way to cure daygame approach anxiety is known as power posing.

Power posing is when we replicate the body language of someone who is feeling 100% confident and self-assured. Take a moment to imagine your posture in the following three scenarios:

  • Obtaining a gold medal at the Olympics
  • Winning the football world cup
  • Winning the lottery

Try adopting any of these poses now and see how they instantly energise your body and also your mind.

Power posing

Another great example of power posing is when the British army says the word “ATTENTION” to their squadron of soldiers. This sparks an immediate shift in their posture to stand upright with their shoulders back and arms straight by their side. It energises them and allows them to be ready to follow the next order.

The impact of this is a swift and powerful change from one’s body language into a more dynamic posture. One that invigorates your body and allows you to be ready to take action.

So next time you see an attractive girl that you want to speak to pull a power pose within the first two seconds of seeing her. It doesn’t have to be a big one – in fact, it can be small enough so no one in the vicinity sees it. Yet, notice how it energises your body and also reduces your approach anxiety.

Power posing after a rejection

Did you know that power posing can also be used after an interaction with women?!?

Let’s say you approach a girl in a bar and she quickly shuts you down in front of everyone and you begin to feel the sensation of being rejected. What you can do is simply pull a power pose to interrupt your pattern of negativity.

Remember here that rejection is only a fleeting feeling. Therefore the faster you pull a power pose when you start to feel rejected, the quicker you are able to enter back into a positive and healthy mindset. In short, knowing the feeling of rejection can no longer affect your state will influence you to become more confident, self-assured and attractive as a man.

My infographic below provides more guidance on how to overcome approach anxiety. You can also read my corresponding approach anxiety article which includes some stories of previous clients, and what clicked for them in overcoming their approach anxiety on my courses.

3 ways to help diminish anxiety when approaching women

How to get rid of daygame approach anxiety?

The best way to get rid of daygame approach anxiety is with affirmations. Affirmations, otherwise known as mantras, are influential. In fact, where power posing energises our bodies, mantras energise and focus our minds.

Let’s try this right now by answering the following question – If you only had three seconds to live and you had to pass on one piece of positive advice to your son what would it be?

Your answer to this question is known as an affirmation or a personal mantra. Importantly, when you repeat the words to yourself within the first 2 seconds of seeing an attractive woman, it helps focus your mind on the empowering and meaningful statement. This has the effect of reducing that feeling of anxiety about going and speaking to her.

Personal Mantras

The more energy you give to saying and believing in your personal mantra, the more impact it will have on your confidence at that moment in time.

Another great way to come up with your own affirmation is to imagine what someone you respect would be telling you in that split second.

This could be:

  • Someone you admire in the real world
  • A fictional hero from a film who you love
  • A version of you when you are at your most confident

These statements are known as third-party affirmations. They can be powerful for controlling your focus and remaining positive and upbeat, as well as diminishing your anxiety.

If you want to hear more personal stories of clients of mine and how they managed their approach anxiety on my courses read my beat the fear of approaching women feature. Below is a snapshot of the main takeaways from it:

3 suggestions to overcome approach anxiety in meeting new women

How to get over daygame approach anxiety?

The best way to get over daygame approach anxiety is known as getting proximity.

When they walk into a café or a bar and see an attractive girl, most men will deliberately sit or stand far away from her to ‘not make it obvious.’ And then ponder at length about how to start a conversation.

Getting proximity turns this idea on its head by deliberately getting close enough to a girl to start a conversation with her. A good distance is 1.5-2 metres away.

Getting proximity

Examples of proximity in the real world are as follows:

  • Sitting at the table next to a girl when you walk into a coffee shop
  • Standing next to a woman when she is already standing by the bar
  • It can even be sitting next to a woman in an airport waiting area

The simple act of getting physically close enough to start a conversation with women will save you time, effort and energy. It will also reduce your approach anxiety.

Proximity in practice

During our day-to-day life when opportunities present themselves to speak to a woman, we can often feel too tired. Perhaps we are on our way to work or need to be somewhere. It can therefore feel like too much effort or too big a task.

The reason why it feels like such a big investment for us is that we are thinking too far ahead in the interaction. Our mind is firmly on:

  • What will I say?
  • How do I start a conversation?
  • What if she rejects me?

By telling ourselves that we only need to ‘get proximity’ we diminish the effort in our mind. This makes it easier to get close enough to start a conversation. And as a result, help destroy our daygame approach anxiety.

I have been helping men for over a decade tackle this area of their life and obtain transformational results. If you want to know more about how exactly I can help you see the image below. You can also take a look at our live training page which details the courses available and book a consultation call with me so we can speak directly.

Model looking at camera with three ways to approach attractive women


  • Approach anxiety is the fear of potential rejection from a woman
  • Power pose and say your personal mantra to yourself
  • Focus on getting proximity

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