Daygame | Everything You Need To Know (In 2021)

Daygame | Everything You Need To Know (In 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to give you a clear definition of daygame. I will also share with you some of my best tips about how to go about undertaking daygame so that you can start to approach, interact with and date women during your day-to-day life.

On my training courses in central London, I take people out into the real world and teach them how to approach, engage, flirt, connect and go on instant dates with women. Covered here are the following aspects of my course:

  • Simple techniques to approach women (instantly)
  • How to attain the ideal mindset (before and after an approach)
  • The fundamentals of daygame vs nightgame (and the pros of each)

Understanding the simple and effective ways to make an approach during the day is life-changing. It means that when you see an attractive woman you will have the confidence to speak to her, make an amazing first impression and go on an instant date together.


To obtain transformational results with women, take a look at our client reviews from our daygame bootcamps and book onto our next dating course. Watch them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:


Daygame dating confidence course for men


What is daygame?


During your day-to-day life, you might see a woman that you find physically attractive in a cafe, a shop or on the street. Daygame is the technical term for having the confidence to go and approach that woman and start a conversation.

Personally, I love teaching daygame and I have been coaching it for over 10 years. For me, the ability and the confidence to know that you can go and speak to anyone at any time means you are never going to be insecure because there are so many opportunities to speak to women that most guys do not take.

Pros of daygame:

  • It eradicates your insecurities around women
  • It boosts your confidence and social skills
  • You are never going to be short of a date

In sum, daygame is having the skill to approach an attractive woman and engage her in conversation. Importantly, when you are able to do you will find that your opportunities to meet women go up exponentially.


How to daygame solo?


One huge beneficial aspect of daygame is that we all have frequent moments by ourselves throughout the day. This makes it easy enough to undertake daygame solo.

If you are anxious about starting a conversation with a woman during the day, then I recommend breaking it down into simple steps, which is what I teach in my courses. There is something called proximity that can help you.

If you are worried about being rejected, then initially just focus on getting physically close enough to someone to start a conversation. It also helps to remember that this is the basic step that needs to happen before we are able to talk to anyone  – we have got to get close enough to start that conversation.

Getting proximity

For instance, say you walk past a cafe and there is a girl that you find attractive and want to speak to. Your first step is to go and buy a coffee and sit at the table next to her. If you can do that you have successfully created your first step towards starting a conversation.

You can also consider:

  • What did I do right?
  • What one thing would I add next time?

So okay, what did I do right? Well, I got physically close enough. What could I do next time? I could start a conversation.

In short, doing day game solo essentially means that you are in a position to talk to women whenever you want – and later in this article, I am going to get more into the nuances of exactly how to do that. So remember if you are new to it, the first step is to try getting proximity. You will be amazed at how often women will start a conversation with you once you are physically close enough to them.

If you want to know where the best places are to meet women – whether you are solo or with friends – check out my infographic below. You can also read my corresponding the best places to meet women article.


3 attractive women standing next to 5 places where they visit in the day


What are the fundamentals for daygame?


There are a few fundamentals to understand about daygame. Above all, you want to have a Success mindset. This means you take action immediately and you fully commit.

You do not allow for any latency period where you think, “Oh I would like to talk to her” with no further follow-through. Instead, when you see a girl you take immediate action and you fully commit. This means you put yourself on the line. When you do that something magical happens. It becomes enjoyable and it becomes fun.

Success mindset

People that talk about daygame online make it all about objectives; objectives about doing this and objectives about doing that. Yet in doing so, they miss the trick.

The element of daygame that makes it fun is the spontaneity. It takes you away from your day-to-day life and impulsively you can end up in a conversation with someone you have never met; before flirting, connecting and having fun as a means to an end. Just being able to do that will fundamentally change your life –  the ability to escape where you currently are and go and enter into a new realm. That, for me, is where the magic happens.

Additionally, the more you enjoy the process, trust me, you will not need to worry about objectives. In truth, the more you are enjoying the process the more likely it is that the girl will like you and want to see you again.

Fully commit

Another important fundamental is to fully commit. What does that look like in the real world? This means that you do not go over to a woman and say, “Excuse me, excuse me” in a meek tone of voice. It means you go over there and you say, “Excuse me” confidently and without hesitation. You pause, then look her straight in the eye and say, “I had to come and stop you… I like this about you..”

We will get more into the exact strategy later on in the article, but I advocate the importance of fully committing to anyone who attends one of my daygame courses. In fact, if you come to one of my courses I will physically show you how to:

  • Fully commit
  • Take immediate action
  • Attain a Success mindset

Moreover, I will show you how you can use this Success mindset to thrive in all areas of your life. Indeed, the ability to undertake daygame and meet women is symbolic of your character, your fortitude as a person and your willingness to progress the rest of your life.

Other key attributes that will help develop your strength of character and shape you into an attractive man are outlined in my infographic below. To learn more, read my dating advice for men article.


5 ways to stop conveying neediness to women


Daygame vs nightgame


Daygame and nightgame are both fun. For me, I particularly love the spontaneity of daygame in any city in any country – that experience of when you see someone you like, you seize the moment to go and talk to them.

Yet, I also love it when you start going into the nightgame and you begin involving alcohol and more groups of people. You are less likely to meet girls by themselves but there is still a fun and dynamic element because you can go out and socialize. You can go to different places and you can dance and have fun. Additionally, you can meet new people.

Which one is better?

I have been coaching both for the last decade – they are both awesome in their own way. In my opinion, you should be able to know what to do and how to act in both scenarios; so you can go out during the day and then go out in the evening with confidence. In both scenarios, you should be able to approach, engage and get girls’ numbers, and also start setting up some dates. Therefore, for me, it is not a question of selecting one or the other.

You may find that people will try and persuade you to go for one or the other. In my experience, this is likely because they are not able to do both, so they will tend to try and push you towards one direction over the other.

In short, both environments have their pros and if you learn the fundamentals of each one then you will be able to approach and speak to women in the day or at night. For anyone who wants to learn some basic nightgame tips, see my below infographic guide. To learn more you can also read my how to approach a girl in a bar article.


5 nightgame tips on how to approach women in bars


Daygame kiss


To get straight to the point we are talking about intimacy here. This is, in fact, one of the biggest questions I get asked in my dating courses – how do you kiss a girl? And the answer is intimacy.

Let us say two people meet: he is here and she is there engaged in conversation. As long as the space between them both throughout the encounter gets smaller and smaller, eventually, it will lead to a kiss.

Being intimate

One of my clients last weekend started talking to a girl in Spitalfields market in London. It was raining so they went and grabbed a coffee and then got food together. After that, they sat outside on a bench with an umbrella next to each other in the rain. Later, he said, “I just think I could have kissed her.”

And yes he could have done it if he just made that space between them smaller. A lot of people go into too many nuances about kissing and how to make it happen. In essence, it is simply about reducing space. If a girl likes you, then she will naturally reduce space with you. This works the same way for a man to a woman. You naturally move closer to a woman that you are attracted to.

You may observe this in bars where you are having fun and, all of a sudden, the girl that was over there has now moved closer. She is reducing that space to you. Note that getting proximity is only one sign of attraction from a woman. I have designed the following infographic guide to show other key traits to look out for to spot when a woman wants to be approached by you. To learn more about this read my signs she wants to be approached article.


5 ways to recognise when a girl wants you to approach her


Daygame rejection


First and foremost it helps to remember that we all get rejected at some point in life. It doesn’t matter the circumstances; whether from a woman; at a job interview or from friends. Rejection is a fact of life.

One of the biggest tools that can help us deal with the feeling of rejection is power posing. This is particularly helpful both before the actual approach to speak to a woman, and also to dispel any rejection after an approach if it does not our way.

Power posing before an approach

If you want to get into a good state before you speak to a girl you power pose.  You may think it looks ridiculous but try it. I have been teaching it for 10 years and it works.

Pulling a power pose:

  • Instantly gets you into an amazing state
  • Makes you ready to face any challenge
  • Give you energy and vigour

A quick swift movement, like standing to attention, preps you. Another option is to follow it up with an affirmation. Something powerful to yourself like “This will make a good story” or “Just do it.” This energises your body and your mind at the same time  – it influences you to focus on making an impact.

Power posing after an approach

Let us say that you make an approach and you get rejected, how do you handle it? Easy. You break the state so rather than going into feeling rejected, you power pose and interrupt your negative pattern. You then ask yourself, “What one thing did I do right? What one thing would I add next time?”

Try not to immerse yourself in the negative because as soon as you go negative you are gonna kill your vibe. Therefore you interrupt the pattern with the power pose and reflect: What one thing did I do right and what would I add next time. This is the exact process I use in my courses. It is why my daytime courses are a success because of the methods and strategies I use to interrupt any negativity from spiralling.

My role is to support each client to overcome any feeling of shame or embarrassment, as well as help them mentally prepare for the next time they see another girl and are ready to go. In fact, helping each client overcome their individual fear of approaching women forms a big part of my courses. If you want further insight into this take a look at my infographic below. You can also read my beat the fear of approaching women article which contains a few personal accounts of previous clients and what worked for them.


3 daygame suggestions to overcome approach anxiety in meeting new women


Daygame Tips


One immediate daygame tip is to ignore superfluous advice online because, quite frankly, it does not work. The mode of running up and getting in front of a girl and stopping her in our post covid world is not effective anymore.

Body language

How do you do it instead? Side to side and make sure you are a meter and a half away. Do not go closer than that because then you are too close and in her personal space. So stand a meter and a half away and you say, “Excuse me” with your body facing away and your head towards the girl and you stop.

If you say it powerfully enough the girl will also stop. Yet, if she chooses not to then let her walk away and next time you say, “Excuse me” louder. You then get eye contact and you continue, “The reason why I stopped you is that I really like this about you.. or I really like that.”  That is how you do a daytime approach.

Time constraint

If you try that approach and it does not work for you, then you can add a time constraint: “Excuse me,” then pause and obtain eye contact, “I am in a rush but I just had to say that I really like this..”

If you get those introductory words right in those four or five seconds, the rest is a breeze. The reason why why a time constraint works is so that you can make an easy exit if it is not going well. Additionally, the girl will also know that you are not going to stay too long. This will allow her to relax and get to know you.

Therefore remember that the time constraint works for both of you. It is a nice way of speaking to people and it helps to calm everyone’s nerves, especially if she is attractive and she finds you attractive.


Beginner’s guide to daygame


If I was a complete amateur and I wanted to immediately start meeting women during the day, I would take it in incremental stages. I would begin by simply asking a girl for directions. After that, I might ask a girl to take a photograph of me. When I develop to the point where this is comfortable I would then say, “Excuse me” and pause with eye contact and progress to giving a girl a compliment.

Learning incrementally

Incremental steps for anyone that is new to daygame should always be the way forward. So the first step is to do anything, however small, that moves you towards your goal. Once you have done that you will feel better, you will feel successful.

And always ask yourself the following questions at each step:

  • What did I do right?
  • What will I add next time?

Remember you do not go from zero to hero. Even guys who are amazing at approaching during the day will take a few approaches to get warmed up. Sometimes the first one goes well and sometimes it doesn’t. At other times three or four warms up are needed to get yourself mentally in the right state of mind and to remember everything. Then you are in a flow state. Bang. That is where the magic happens.

Conversational skills

Once you are able to approach a woman and speak to her, the next step is being able to engage her in the conversation. My infographic below outlines four important ways to keep your conversations with women fun and captivating. I recommend reading my how to talk to women article where I go into more detail about how to implement each of the ways.

What I will point out is that mastering these conversational strategies will make you more engaging with every person you meet day-to-day. You will become a better conversationalist on all levels.


4 expert ways to talk to women and improve your daygame


Daygame advice


The best advice I can give is to not be so goal-oriented. Success is taking action and starting a conversation. Success isn’t necessarily seeing a girl again or getting a date. Rather, it is getting over your fear of learning how to speak to people and engaging women in conversation.

Remember you cannot control if she is in a relationship. You cannot control if she is busy or in a rush. Yet, what you can control is the following:

  • How you can create a successful mindset
  • The way in which you deal with those situations internally
  • Becoming more attractive using daygame as a tool for developing your life

I have to say I love hosting these courses. I am live streaming from central London teaching more and more, so subscribe to my YouTube channel. Turn the notifications on so that you can get the feed of me before and after my courses.

Being ethical

I also want to take a moment to point out the reason why I do not share in-field footage on my YouTube channel; this is because it is unethical. Other channels do, but I firmly believe that women should know if they are being filmed. Therefore, if anyone is putting content online where they are interacting with women who do not know they are being filmed, it is dishonest and unfair in my opinion. It is something that I am not prepared to do.

What I am prepared to do is talk about the aspects of coaching before and talk about it afterwards. I will happily outline everything that you can learn to build on your confidence and ability to approach women. And if you want to come and do a course and see it in the real world then I will be side by side supporting you.

Having ethics when approaching women is of the utmost importance. With that in mind, I have created a code of conduct infographic to offer helpful guidance for anyone carrying out an approach. I suggest also reading my approaching women article to learn more about this.


5 ethical guidelines to follow when approaching women


Basic daygame


If you want just one strategy that works say, “Excuse me” loudly. The louder you say it the more you are showing you have good genetics. This is why women stop.

So remember, “Excuse me” and then pause with eye contact, “I am in a rush but I had to say I really like this about you…” It could be earrings, her outfit etc. If the girl is receptive and she speaks to you, then speak to her for a couple of minutes and perhaps go on an instant date.

To do this I would say, “I only have a few minutes.. do you like coffee? Yes? Let’s go and grab a quick coffee okay?” That is basic day game. It happens in every city around the world and it works. It is simple, so go and try it. You will be amazed at how easy it is.


Direct daygame


Direct daygame is when you are upfront from the start about why you are stopping a girl – and I think you should be. Once you have warmed up, stated your “Excuse me,” paused and obtained eye contact, you can then give the reason for stopping her. For example, “I stopped you because I wanted to see if your personality matched your outfit.”

Being direct

What you do not want to do is switch from being indirect to suddenly go direct because this does not work. If you are going to go direct you commit from the start to going direct. Go all in and commit 100%. If you do this your learning will be unbelievable.

On my three-hour courses, the focus is on becoming successful. Just going and getting experience learning and developing on each approach. The best thing is once you know how to start a conversation, you are putting value out to the world because you are complimenting people. You are not taking something from someone.

Giving value

This is a thing about being objective or goal-oriented. If you objectify women then you are trying to get something from them. In fact, as soon as we become too intentional about what we want we tense up and we overcomplicate matters and we start worrying about remembering our lines. This does not help us connect with strangers.

It is worth remembering that, as a general rule, people love energy and they love free-flowing people. This is firmly what I believe in. My whole coaching is structured around giving value, therefore you give a girl a compliment. You create a lifestyle that is attractive because you are giving value to the world.

Indeed, anyone who comes to me for coaching does so on the parameters that they would like to work on themselves to give value to the world. When you do that, trust me, all of your approaches go better. Moreover, they are more fun and more engaging and people will enjoy speaking to you.

If you want to know more about Social Attraction or book onto one of my courses then visit our live training page and schedule a consultation call with me.


Model looking at camera with three ways to approach attractive women


Summary


  • Daygame is the ability to approach and go on instant dates during the day
  • It involves overcoming your fear of approaching attractive women
  • This allows you to date women during your day-to-day life
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