Daygame | Everything You Need To Know (In 2021)
In this article, I will teach you everything you need to know about daygame. I will share with you my best daygame strategies that I have been coaching for over a decade on my Social Attraction courses.
It will help you to avoid the following:
- Being paralysed with fear and freezing when you could be approaching and speaking to a woman you find attractive
- Sitting at home that evening feeling frustrated about the woman you were too afraid to approach and your lack of dating results
- Never know how it feels to open up your dating options to every attractive woman you see in your day-to-day life
No one should feel so weak in their dating life – it is wrong.
We can help you to make it right by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You will find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. On the call, we will work out which of our courses is right for you to transform your dating confidence.
You can also watch our client’s real life transformations here – Social Attraction course reviews
What is daygame?
You might see a woman you find physically attractive in a cafe, a shop, or on the street during your day-to-day life. Daygame is the technical term for having the confidence to go and approach that woman and start a conversation.
Personally, I love teaching daygame, and I have been coaching it for over ten years. For me, the ability and the confidence to know that you can go and speak to anyone at any time means you are never going to be insecure because there are so many opportunities to speak to women that most guys do not take.
Pros of daygame:
- It eradicates your insecurities around women
- It boosts your confidence and social skills
- You are never going to be short of a date
In sum, daygame is having the skill to approach an attractive woman and engage her in conversation. Importantly, you will find that your opportunities to meet women go up exponentially when you can do that.
How to daygame solo?
One huge beneficial aspect of daygame is that we all have frequent moments by ourselves throughout the day. This makes it easy enough to undertake daygame solo.
If you are anxious about starting a conversation with a woman during the day, I recommend breaking it down into simple steps, which I teach in my courses. There is something called proximity that can help you.
If you are worried about being rejected, then initially, just focus on getting physically close enough to someone to start a conversation. It also helps to remember that this is the primary step that needs to happen before we can talk to anyone – we have got to get close enough to start that conversation.
For instance, say you walk past a cafe, and there is a girl that you find attractive and want to speak to. Your first step is to go and buy a coffee and sit at the table next to her. If you can do that, you have successfully created your first step towards starting a conversation.
You can also consider:
- What did I do right?
- What one thing would I add next time?
So okay, what did I do right? Well, I got physically close enough. What could I do next time? I could start a conversation.
In short, doing day game solo essentially means that you are in a position to talk to women whenever you want – and later in this article, I will get more into the nuances of exactly how to do that. So remember, if you are new to it, the first step is to try getting proximity. You will be amazed at how often women will start a conversation with you once you are physically close enough to them.
If you want to know where the best places are to meet women – whether you are solo or with friends – check out my infographic below. You can also read my corresponding the best places to meet women article.
What are the fundamentals for daygame?
There are a few fundamentals to understand about daygame. Above all, you want to have a Success mindset. This means you take action immediately, and you fully commit.
You do not allow for any latency period where you think, “Oh, I would like to talk to her“, with no further follow-through. Instead, when you see a girl, you take immediate action, and you fully commit. This means you put yourself on the line. When you do that, something magical happens. It becomes enjoyable, and it becomes fun.
People that talk about daygame online make it all about objectives, objectives about doing this and objectives about doing that. Yet, in doing so, they miss the trick.
The element of daygame that makes it fun is spontaneity. It takes you away from your day-to-day life, and impulsively you can end up in a conversation with someone you have never met; before, flirting, connecting and having fun as a means to an end. Just being able to do that will fundamentally change your life – the ability to escape where you currently are and go and enter into a new realm. That, for me, is where the magic happens.
Additionally, the more you enjoy the process, trust me, you will not need to worry about objectives. In truth, the more you enjoy the process, the more likely it is that the girl will like you and want to see you again.
Another important fundamental is to commit fully. What does that look like in the real world? This means that you do not go over to a woman and say, “Excuse me, excuse me”, in a meek tone of voice. It means you go over there and say, “Excuse me” confidently and without hesitation. You pause, then look her straight in the eye and say, “I had to come and stop you… I like this about you..”
We will get more into the exact strategy later in the article, but I advocate the importance of fully committing to anyone who attends one of my daygame courses. In fact, if you come to one of my courses, I will physically show you how to:
- Fully commit
- Take immediate action
- Attain a Success mindset
Moreover, I will show you how you can use this Success mindset to thrive in all areas of your life. Indeed, the ability to undertake daygame and meet women is symbolic of your character, your grit as a person and your willingness to progress the rest of your life.
Other key attributes that will help develop your strength of character and shape you into an attractive man are outlined in my infographic below. To learn more, read my dating advice for men article.
Daygame vs nightgame
Daygame and nightgame are both fun. For me, I particularly love the spontaneity of daygame in any city in any country – that experience of when you see someone you like, and you seize the moment to go and talk to them.
Yet, I also love it when you start going into the nightgame, and you begin involving alcohol and more groups of people. You are less likely to meet girls by themselves, but there is still a fun and dynamic element because you can go out and socialise. You can go to different places, and you can dance and have fun. Additionally, you can meet new people.
Which one is better?
I have been coaching both for the last decade – they are both awesome in their own way. In my opinion, you should be able to know what to do and how to act in both scenarios, so you can go out during the day and then go out in the evening with confidence. In both scenarios, you should be able to approach, engage, get girls’ numbers, and start setting up some dates. Therefore, for me, it is not a question of selecting one or the other.
You may find that people will try and persuade you to go for one or the other. In my experience, this is likely because they cannot do both, so they will tend to try and push you towards one direction over the other.
In short, both environments have their pros, and if you learn the fundamentals of each one, then you will be able to approach and speak to women in the day or at night. For anyone who wants to learn some essential nightgame tips, see my below infographic guide. To learn more, you can also read my how to approach a girl in a bar article.
To get straight to the point, we are talking about intimacy here. This is, in fact, one of the biggest questions I get asked in my dating courses – how do you kiss a girl? And the answer is intimacy.
Let us say two people meet: he is here, and she is there engaged in conversation. As long as the space between them both throughout the encounter gets smaller and smaller, eventually, it will lead to a kiss.
One of my clients last weekend started talking to a girl in Spitalfields market in London. It was raining, so they went and grabbed a coffee and then got food together. After that, they sat outside on a bench with an umbrella next to each other in the rain. Later, he said, “I just think I could have kissed her.”
And yes, he could have done it if he just made that space between them smaller. A lot of people go into too many nuances about kissing and how to make it happen. In essence, it is simply about reducing space. If a girl likes you, then she will naturally reduce space with you. This works the same way for a man to a woman. You naturally move closer to a woman that you are attracted to.
You may observe this in bars where you are having fun, and, all of a sudden, the girl that was over there has now moved closer. She is reducing that space to you. Note that getting proximity is only one sign of attraction from a woman. I have designed the following infographic guide to show other key traits to look out for to spot when a woman wants to be approached by you. To learn more about this, read my signs she wants to be approached article.
First and foremost, it helps to remember that we all get rejected at some point in life. It doesn’t matter the circumstances, whether from a woman, job interview, or friends. Rejection is a fact of life.
One of the most extensive tools that can help us deal with the feeling of rejection is power posing. This is particularly helpful both before the actual approach to speak to a woman and to dispel any rejection after an approach if it does not go our way.
Power posing before an approach
If you want to get into a good state before speaking to a girl, you power pose. You may think it looks ridiculous but try it. I have been teaching it for ten years, and it works.
Pulling a power pose:
- Instantly gets you into an amazing state
- Makes you ready to face any challenge
- Give you energy and vigour
A quick swift movement, like standing to attention, preps you. Another option is to follow it up with an affirmation. Something powerful to yourself like “This will make a good story” or “Just do it.” This energises your body and mind simultaneously – it influences you to focus on making an impact.
Power posing after an approach
Let us say you make an approach, and you get rejected; how do you handle it? Easy. You break the state, so rather than going into feeling rejected, you power pose and interrupt your negative pattern. You then ask yourself, “What one thing did I do right? What one thing would I add next time?”
Try not to immerse yourself in the negative because as soon as you go negative, you will kill your vibe. Therefore you interrupt the pattern with the power pose and reflect: What one thing did I do right, and what would I add next time. This is the exact process I use in my courses. It is why my daytime courses are a success because of the methods and strategies I use to interrupt any negativity from spiralling.
My role is to support each client to overcome any feeling of shame or embarrassment and help them mentally prepare for the next time they see another girl and are ready to go. Helping each client overcome their individual fear of approaching women forms a big part of my courses. If you want further insight into this, take a look at my infographic below. You can also read my beat the fear of approaching women article, which contains a few personal accounts of previous clients and what worked for them.
One quick daygame tip is to ignore superfluous advice online because, quite frankly, it does not work. The mode of running up and getting in front of a girl and stopping her in our post covid world is not effective anymore.
How do you do it instead? Side to side and make sure you are a meter and a half away. Do not go closer than that because then you are too close and in her personal space. So stand a meter and a half away, and you say, “Excuse me”, with your body facing away and your head towards the girl, and you stop.
If you say it powerfully enough, the girl will also stop. Yet, if she chooses not to, let her walk away, and next time, you say, “Excuse me” louder. You then get eye contact, and you continue, “The reason why I stopped you is that I really like this about you.. or I really like that.” That is how you make a daytime approach.
If you try that approach and it does not work for you, then you can add a time constraint: “Excuse me,” then pause and obtain eye contact, “I am in a rush, but I just had to say that I really like this..”
If you get those introductory words right in those four or five seconds, the rest is a breeze. The reason why why a time constraint works is so that you can make an easy exit if it is not going well. Additionally, the girl will also know that you are not going to stay too long. This will allow her to relax and get to know you.
Therefore remember that the time constraint works for both of you. It is a nice way of speaking to people, and it helps to calm everyone’s nerves, especially if she is attractive and she finds you attractive.
Beginner’s guide to daygame
If I were a complete amateur and wanted to start meeting women during the day immediately, I would take it in incremental stages. I would begin by simply asking a girl for directions. After that, I might ask a girl to take a photograph of me. When I develop to the point where this is comfortable, I would then say, “Excuse me”, and pause with eye contact and progress to complimenting a girl.
Incremental steps for anyone new to daygame should always be the way forward. So the first step is to do anything, however small, that moves you towards your goal. Once you have done that, you will feel better; you will feel successful.
And always ask yourself the following questions at each step:
- What did I do right?
- What will I add next time?
Remember, you do not go from zero to hero. Even guys who are amazing at approaching during the day will take a few approaches to get warmed up. Sometimes the first one goes well, and sometimes it doesn’t. At other times three or four warms up are needed to get yourself mentally in the right state of mind and remember everything. Then you are in a flow state. Bang. That is where the magic happens.
Once you can approach a woman and speak to her, the next step is being able to engage her in the conversation. My infographic below outlines four important ways to keep your conversations with women fun and captivating. I recommend reading my how to talk to women article, where I go into more detail about implementing each of the ways.
I will point out that mastering these conversational strategies will make you more engaging with every person you meet daily. You will become a better conversationalist on all levels.
The best advice I can give is not to be so goal-oriented. Success is taking action and starting a conversation. Success isn’t necessarily seeing a girl again or getting a date. Instead, it is getting over your fear of learning how to speak to people and engaging women in conversation.
Remember, you cannot control if she is in a relationship. You cannot control if she is busy or in a rush. Yet, what you can control is the following:
- How you can create a successful mindset
- How you deal with those situations internally
- Becoming more attractive using daygame as a tool for developing your life
I have to say I love hosting these courses. I am live streaming from central London teaching more and more, so subscribe to my YouTube channel. Turn the notifications on so that you can get the feed of me before and after my courses.
I also want to take a moment to point out the reason why I do not share in-field footage on my YouTube channel; this is because it is unethical. Other channels do, but I firmly believe that women should know if they are being filmed. Therefore, if anyone is putting content online where they are interacting with women who do not know they are being filmed, it is dishonest and unfair, in my opinion. It is something that I am not prepared to do.
What I am prepared to do is talk about the aspects of coaching before and talk about it afterwards. I will happily outline everything you can learn to build on your confidence and ability to approach women. And if you want to come and do a course and see it in the real world, then I will be side by side supporting you.
Having ethics when approaching women is of the utmost importance. With that in mind, I have created a code of conduct infographic to offer helpful guidance for anyone carrying out an approach. I suggest also reading my approaching women article to learn more about this.
If you want just one strategy that works, say, “Excuse me” loudly. The louder you say it, the more you are showing you have good genetics. This is why women stop.
So remember, “Excuse me”, and then pause with eye contact, “I am in a rush, but I had to say I really like this about you…” It could be earrings, her outfit etc. If the girl is receptive and speaks to you, talk to her for a couple of minutes and perhaps go on an instant date.
To do this, I would say, “I only have a few minutes.. do you like coffee? Yes? Let’s go and grab a quick coffee, okay?” That is basic day game. It happens in every city around the world, and it works. It is simple, so go and try it. You will be amazed at how easy it is.
Direct daygame is when you are upfront from the start about why you are stopping a girl – and I think you should be. Once you have warmed up, stated your “Excuse me,” paused and obtained eye contact, you can then give the reason for stopping her. For example, “I stopped you because I wanted to see if your personality matched your outfit.”
You do not want to switch from being indirect to suddenly going direct because this does not work. If you are going to go direct, you commit from the start to going direct. Go all in and commit 100%. If you do this, your learning will be unbelievable.
On my three-hour courses, the focus is on becoming successful. Just going and getting experience learning and developing on each approach. The best thing is that once you know how to start a conversation, you are putting value out to the world because you compliment people. You are not taking something from someone.
This is the thing about being objective or goal-oriented. If you objectify women, then you are trying to get something from them. As soon as we become too intentional about what we want, we tense up, overcomplicate matters, and start worrying about remembering our lines. This does not help us connect with strangers.
It is worth remembering that, as a general rule, people love energy, and they love free-flowing people. This is firmly what I believe in. My whole coaching is structured around giving value; therefore, you compliment a girl. You create a lifestyle that is attractive because you are giving value to the world.
Indeed, anyone who comes to me for coaching does so on the parameters they would like to work on themselves to give value to the world. When you do that, trust me, all of your approaches go better. Moreover, they are more fun and more engaging, and people will enjoy speaking to you.
If you want to know more about Social Attraction or book onto one of our courses, then visit our transformational dating courses page.
- Daygame is the ability to approach and go on instant dates during the day
- It involves overcoming your fear of approaching attractive women
- This allows you to date women during your day-to-day life
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.
He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.
Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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