First Date Strategy | A Powerful In-Depth Guide (to getting a second date)

First Date Strategy | A Powerful In-Depth Guide (to getting a second date)

First Date Strategy | A Powerful In-Depth Guide (to getting a second date)

First Date Strategy | A Powerful In-Depth Guide (to getting a second date)

First Date Strategy | A Powerful In-Depth Guide (to getting a second date)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Okay. Welcome back to today’s episode where we’re going to be looking at Thor, the Marvel character.

In this episode, there are three specific areas that I’d like to focus on. Now, firstly, it’s his physicality as a man, secondly, it’s how perfect his dating strategy was in the first film, and finally, it’s how he puts his calling in life above women. Now, all three of these are super, super attractive to women and also, typically, as guys, we tend to revere these characteristics, which is why the Thor films did so well. And, even in the Avengers, he’s an amazing character that a lot of us buy into.

So, let’s begin with his first characteristic, which is that he is physically big. I mean, this guy is a physical specimen. He is massive. And if you imagine the Thor film where Chris Hemsworth is half the size, you can imagine it wouldn’t make the same kind of impact, and there are several reasons for this.

First of all, when a guy is physically big and strong, it conveys a lot of good things about him.

So first of all, it shows that he has good genetics because he’s physically strong. Second of all, it conveys that he can protect you and look after you, again because of his size. It also shows that he can stick to something, as in, you know, weight training and committing to it. It also shows that he doesn’t quit because he’s still that big over a period of time. And it also shows that he puts himself first which means that he takes care of himself.

Now, what I find fascinating about all of these attributes is that they’re conveyed before he speaks his very first word. So, being in physically good condition, specifically being physically big, like a big guy, is value that you can take around with you before you’ve spoken to women. And it’s actually quite unique in that vein. I mean, unless you’re putting out some kind of content, like you’re an artist of some vein, typically, when women first see you, they’re going to make a first impression of you.

And if you are physically bigger, that first impression’s going to hit a hell of a lot of fitness indicators all at the same time. If you’re not sure what I mean by fitness indicator, I did an episode about Charles Darwin earlier on in the series. But in a nutshell, it’s like a, it’s a signpost to your genetic disposition that women will decide about whether you’re attractive or not. So, being physically big is certainly something that we can learn from the Thor character, and if we are doing weight training, specifically focusing on gaining in size and being physically bigger, it’s going to make you more attractive to women.

Now, on to our second, attribute of Thor, which is that he had the perfect dating strategy in the first film.

Now, there are a few things which he did remarkably well, right? He did some, used some amazing principles. So, first of all, he delayed gratification. Now, I think the lady’s name in the film was Jane. I mean, he didn’t just grab her and try and kiss her straight away, right? He specifically delayed going for the kiss, and I’ll talk about how he kissed her just in a little bit. But part of his dating strategy, right?

So, what he did is rather than just having one date with her, which is what most guys do, he had loads of mini-dates. So, he had food with her in the diner he had the going to get his hammer back, so they had, like, a little adventure together, and then they had a little romantic point in their date where they ended up sitting around, it was almost like a fireplace, but it wasn’t like a bin with stuff in it, but burning, like a fireplace.

And that’s when they shared their stories together, and, and really got to know each other on a more, like, intimate level. He spoke about his history and gave her support and confidence in her that she could also achieve her dreams. So, during this dating strategy, just, just to break this down a little bit, what he basically did is he had loads of different date venues, he was an enigma to her until, really, they sat down over a fireplace and got to know each other, and I think that there’s something innate about sitting around a fireplace.

Maybe it’s down to our cultural heritage because that’s where stories used to be shared.

But something that we can learn from that, actually, is if you go to a lot of bars and restaurants around London, in the background, a lot of them will have TV screens on. And on the TV screens, they’ll have a fireplace. And I always think that is such a great setting for a date, and especially if you’re going to take girls back to your apartment, rather than puttin’ music on TV, why not go onto YouTube, type in “Fireplace HD,” and then have a fireplace playing in the background with the sounds, and it’s just something warm and cosy about it that can, you know, allow people to open up. It’s, is, it’s more about setting the environment up correctly that’s going to allow that date to go well.

And as I say, he also was mysterious to her. I did an episode about the Joker, talking about being enigmatic, but in the film, we didn’t really go into too much detail about who he was until they went and sat down by that fireplace, and then they shared their stories. And that’s also something interesting, because a lot of us on a night out, typically is to try and talk too much about ourselves, and there’s a real power in holding back some of that for the second date or even the third date, you know? You don’t want to let too much out too early. You want to let that mystery build.

And obviously, this leads up to the moment where they kiss, which is an absolutely amazing kissing scene, because they, in this film, they got it spot on. They let the sexual tension grow. They got to know each other really well. And in the kissing scene, rather than just going into kissing her, what he did was he held eye contact with her and he kissed her hand first, which really, like, amped up the sexual tension even more, and then she grabbed him and kissed him. And it’s a wonderful kissing scene.

If you wanted to learn about creating tension, holding eye contact, watch the Thor kissing scene in Thor one, because it is, it’s a, a great example of, actually, how to go about kissing women that isn’t desperate or try-hard, and it’s, yeah, it’s fantastic.

Okay. So, now on to the final point which I wanted to discuss, which is the fact that he puts his calling in life before women. So, in the end of the film, basically what he does is he breaks a bridge which stops him from ever going back to Earth. Also, before that, when he left her, he basically reassured her and let he let her know that he’d be back to see her again.

Now, what’s really happening here is, he’s creating uncertainty about whether they’ll see each other again, and that is hugely attractive. A lot of us can typically say, “Yeah, when were you going to organise our next date,” and be a little bit desperate about it. But in this situation, obviously, due to the environment, Thor couldn’t set up the future date, so he just promised her that he’d be back. So, he was reassuring her, he was creating uncertainty, and then at the end of the film, he has to break the bridge, thus not being able to go back and see her. And this kind of sets up, you know, part two a little bit better.

Moving away from the film and more into how this can help us with women, specifically, he puts his calling in life first before women. Now, I just want to show you how this can play out in different areas of our life. So, for example, in my experience of coaching guys, a lot of them are, you know, training hard. They’re focused on earning money. They’re trying to develop their lives. And then when they finally meet a girl and they start dating, typically, they’ll start to eat, and more unhealthy food.

They won’t train at the gym as often. And what’s happening is they’re allowing this girl to influence their life away from what their calling in life may be.

And it’s very easy to miss a gym session here, to stop reading as much to spend time with a girl. But I’ve always found it pertinent to try and set up your relationship how you’d like it to be perhaps in 10, 15 years time. So, if you can fast forward that far, you’re not typically going to be spending, you know, all of the waking hours with this girl. There’ll be limits in place and you’ll have other things going on in your life. And I think it’s an important lesson to be able to segment, right at the start of your relationship, and set up the framing correct so that you’re able to then stick to that moving forward in the relationship.

Also, there’s something specifically attractive about a guy that can’t be influenced, right? So, we, we typically hear that you know, women are drawn to the guys they can’t get. Well, it’s the same when you’re in a relationship. You know, if a girl’s getting back from work at 6:00, and you’re training at the gym from 6:00 till 8:00, you’re limiting your time already, which again makes you more attractive. You’re also working on your longer-term goals because you’re being in physically good condition that makes you more attractive to other people.

Now, the Thor character, just as an archetype, is amazing. I mean, really, he is like the epitome of masculinity.

He’s also very eloquent in the film, which I also think adds a nice bit of depth to him. But we see this archetype, like, all through history. So, you know, a real-life example of it would be The Rock, again, who’s someone who’s physically big and strong, and even back to, like, old stories, like Hercules. So, the example of, like, the big guy being physically attractive to women, although it’s something we’re all aware of, it is still something that we can all work towards.

And you know, if you’re not necessarily a big guy to start with, just, you know, building some kind of physique where you are getting physically bigger than what you are, is going to allow you to set goals. It’s going to allow to focus on yourself. It’s also going to aid your self-confidence. So there’s a hell of a lot that comes from physical training to be big.

I’d probably say, with regards to any of the other fitness indicators, assigning time to train at the gym to get physically big is probably going to be the best use of your time if you are looking at attracting more women. You’re going to get the endorphins from training. You’re going to specifically meet women at the gym, depending on what gym you go to. You’re going to be able to carry that value around with you, so if you ever go travelling around the world, before you’ve even spoken, you can put out your value to women right at the start.


Get My Latest Dating Tips
Straight To Your Inbox

Gain access to my latest dating advice.
Emailed to you every week.

*100% secure. We will not share, spam or sell your information.

Social Attraction Dating Tips Newsletter