Five Spiritual Laws of Success with Women | Self-Development As A Man

Five Spiritual Laws of Success with Women | Self-Development As A Man

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will be explaining my five spiritual laws of success with women. These are the actions behind the scenes that will draw women into your life.

For me, spirituality is anything you do that is good for your spirit.

Spirituality helps you to:

  • Feel amazing about yourself and raise your self-esteem
  • Have a sense of contentment about the direction of your life
  • Make an impactful impression with everyone, including women

These five spiritual laws are the methods that are going to allow you to relax more and enjoy the quality of your life.

If you want real-life results with women why not book onto our next dating confidence course? Check out our client testimonials on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

The first spiritual law of success with women – Running

Meditation is a way of controlling your emotions, whereas running is a way of elevating your mood.

Think of your mood as the base level of contentment in your life.

Over the past two and a half years since I have taken up running, it has become a spiritual practice for me.

What is a flow state?

A flow state is when you are ‘in the zone’ and fully immersed in an experience.

You can access a flow state in different ways in your life.

Music, art or hiking are other mood enhancers that are often cited as flow state activities.

How can running help you to achieve a flow state?

When l start running my legs may be feeling stiff and somewhat tight. So, for the first five minutes, it is about loosening off. I then get into a bit of a flow and get my pace going.

Sometimes I set off and I feel great, yet at other times I feel I am lacking energy.

On these days when I am less energetic, I think about the following:

  • Any issues or problems that I have
  • The things in my life that are affecting me
  • Even the simple things I feel frustrated or annoyed about

I reflect on those for perhaps 10 to 20 seconds. And what happens is I begin to feel that emotion somewhere in my body. For me, I always feel it primarily in my jaw.

Nasal breathing

Then I forget all thoughts and I simply breathe through my nose using nasal breathing.

I put all of my attention to that feeling.

And what happens after about 10, 15 seconds is that the feeling begins to subside. It moves down into my legs.

I find this to be unquestionably one of the best experiences you can have in your entire life because suddenly that energy is being released.

It has been repressed, yet you are now releasing it through the act of running.

I have had experiences running where I feel like I am sprinting for 15 minutes flat out. Interestingly, I don’t get out of breath because I have tapped into something within me that I have been repressing.

It is an unbelievably powerful and immersive experience.

Running and emotional control

Coming back from a run like this changes you because you have been able to:

  • Eradicate something that has been annoying or repressing you
  • Channel your emotions to serve your mental wellbeing
  • Strengthen your fitness levels

In other words, you have transmuted your emotions into something positive.

Releasing trauma through running

As you become more advanced in this technique, you can start thinking about trauma from your childhood. You can begin to release some of those toxic emotions from your past.

In doing this, they will lose their power over you.

The reason why I love this more than a base meditation is that you are channelling that energy to serve you.

Yes, you can perform the same technique, sat down meditating and it works. But if you attain this state whilst running you will have the following added benefits of:

  • The endorphins from your flow state
  • Simultaneously working on your fitness goals
  • Feeling alive and like you can achieve anything

Whenever I do this practice when I go running, I come back changed. I am rejuvenated and my spirit is high.

How to use visualisations when running?

With goal setting, I feel that many of us do it the wrong way, resulting in added pressure and stress, rather than setting ourselves up to enjoy life.

Therefore when you go running you can use visualisation techniques to reflect on your goals.

This is what I do when I run:

  • I use the endorphins and the adrenaline from feeling good, to focus on something that then has heightened emotions attached to it
  • Accordingly, I am more likely to enjoy doing it if I think about it when I am in a heightened state

So, in effect, you are anchoring certain feelings onto a behaviour.

Goal setting and visualisations

It is important to not visualise anything that you can not control, such as:

  • Other people’s actions
  • Women’s perception of us
  • People’s judgements towards us

Instead, I visualise only what is inside my control.

For example:

  • Recording a podcast episode
  • Delivering an empowering speech
  • Writing something impactful to people

To reiterate, you visualise only what is in your control and, generally speaking, that is only your behaviour and your actions.

To help you develop emotional control I have created the following infographic for you.

You can also read my complete meditation article which includes video tutorials on meditation and emotional clearances that will help you.

7 meditative practices will make you more attractive

The second spiritual law of success with women – Reading

The next of my spiritual laws of success with women is to read.

This is any reading material which does the following:

  • Helps you to learn and develop
  • Creates new neuro-pathways in your brain
  • Gives rise to new thoughts and connections

About 10 years ago, when I first became an avid reader, I would only read non-fiction.

My thinking was that I only wanted to read factual books because surely this meant that I was learning and developing and becoming a better presenter and speaker.

The idea of reading fictitious stories didn’t really make sense to me.

How can stories be spiritual?

However, it is worth considering that the best writers in history have all written fiction.

I could give you some free advice right now, but unless it is entwined within a story, there is no context and it will not make sense.

Giving context or background in the form of a story influences us to remember information; it makes it stay within us.

This is why I would recommend reading classic spiritual texts from exceptional writers.

Books that spiritually changed my life

I am going to talk about five books that I have read in the past few years that had a profound shift in my life.

In fact, if you read these books, you will find that they will also change your life because of the way they are written. The stories will remain with you.

You will find:

  • You have more conversation topics to speak to women about because these books are spiritual by their nature
  • That you are a spiritually changed individual after you have read them
  • Your conversation ammunition improves dramatically

I think most people around 30 to 35 years of age start moving towards some kind of spirituality in life because we realise that life is not linear and all about capital.

There are not always clear answers, and so we are driven to search in different places.

The first book

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu

This is one of the oldest spiritual books that has been written.

One interesting lesson is that in the West we believe that our life is a narrative and each experience is linked, yet Taoism teaches that each experience is separate.

When you believe that each experience is separate:

  • You free yourself from the narrative of your life and from your existing behaviours
  • You enjoy that experience and do not try and get the same feeling or experience again
  • This allows you to become more spontaneous and more fun

That was a fantastic lesson that I took from this book.

The second book

The Bhagavad Gita

This is one of the main Hindu scripture and takes the form of a discourse between Prince Arjuna and Krishna.

There are many thought-provoking lessons in this book. However, for me, the main takeaway was the concept of the duality of life.

For instance, say we really want to date a supermodel. What we tend to do is attach all the positives to that future version of ourselves and we never balance our thinking.

The duality of life

If you reflect back on the past five years of your life there is never a time where you are problem-free. There are always issues to deal with.

Even when you have achieved your goals, there are still concerns and worries.

What the Bhagavad Gita asserts is that you should balance your thinking towards the future but, importantly, also towards ‘the now,’ meaning your present.

How to balance your thoughts?

So in balancing your thinking, yes, okay it would be great to date a supermodel, but what are some of the negatives associated with that?

And what happens when you balance your thoughts is that your desires begin to diminish. Moreover, it allows you to consider where you are right now.

You may reflect:

  • I have got a lot of time
  • My work or my exercise is going well
  • I am also happy and content where I am

The intention is to try and balance both so that you are content with where you are. But also if you did achieve that goal, you would be content knowing that there would also be issues and problems at that stage in your life.

So the duality of life and also balancing your thoughts is going to allow you to remove desires and return more to your centre.

The third book

The Remarkable Rocket by Oscar Wilde

In this short story, Oscar Wilde brings fireworks to life with human characteristics.

The Remarkable Rocket being the main character in the book where we follow his journey.

As a general belief in life, we are taught that as people get older, they learn their lessons. They become more humble and will change over time.

However, the Remarkable Rocket is a story about how one character never changed even when faced with challenges in life.

Progress and change in life

I feel that I have changed so much in the past 10 years of my life, I have the assumption that other people have grown at the same rate or developed their life.

But, a lot of people do not change.

This story was interesting to me because it made me realise not to judge people. And, moreover, not to look at people the same way that I look through the lens of my life.

Reading that book changed the way that I interact with certain people and approach certain situations in my life.

Ultimately it made me more relaxed and calm about not trying to control other people and letting things flow as they are supposed to.

The fourth book

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami

Murakami is an incredible writer and his words really impacted me. In fact, this book was the catalyst for increasing my running from three miles a week to thirty miles a week.

I recommend this book to so many people who are looking to get into running.

Murakami is a master communicator as he:

  • Tells a lot of stories so it feels like you are there with him and that you can implement his lessons in your life
  • Articulates his thoughts in such a way that you can really understand his meaning
  • Also speaks about how running is a spiritual practice for him

So if you do want to understand more about the spiritual aspect of running then this book will help you.

The fifth book

The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

This book is a powerful depiction of living through Soviet Russia and covers the details of the prisons, interrogations, worker camps and secret police.

Solzhenitsyn imparts what he learned going through the process of his initial arrest to his own experiences in the camps, to when he was eventually let out and exiled.

In the first chapter, simply from the way he redefines the term ‘arrest,’ you are fully immersed.

In the West, I think we have the belief that everything is going to be okay and we can aim for the stars.

Whilst I appreciate that we need positivity and optimism in life, at the same point if we want to understand human nature, we need to see what people are like when the chips are down.

This book lets you see what human beings are capable of at their worst moments; both good and bad actions and behaviours.

How reading can give you an insight into human nature?

Having an understanding of how human beings act when things get tough allows us to be prepared and to know what to expect when things get tough in our own life.

I have read this or listened to the audiobook three times. In completing it you are a changed human being because:

  • It opens your eyes to human nature
  • When you speak to people, you can feel yourself looking past their words and hear their true meaning
  • You understand the person that you are speaking to and there is a purity that comes with that

Accordingly, my second spiritual law of success with women is to read anything that is going to elevate your spirit.

A catalyst for change

Hopefully, this will be a catalyst to inspire you personally to pick up a book and to start learning and developing your life.

Most people do not recognise that a coach, like myself, helps with the implementation of knowledge. It is to no one’s benefit to be full of wisdom that they are unable to implement in their own life.

Below you will see an image from a 90-minute interview I did for the centenary episode of my podcast, An Education In Gary Gunn, where I outline how I have implemented some of the lessons from these books into my own life. If you are interested in Social Attraction’s coaching this will also give you all the information you need.

Gary Gunn being interviewed and outlining spiritual laws to be more successful with women

The third spiritual law of success with women – Reflecting

My third spiritual law of success with women is to reflect.

On my dating confidence and communication courses that I host, I teach something called reflective listening.

This is where you reflect someone’s words back to them to show understanding. It helps to build the first foundations of trust and demonstrates empathy.

For me, reflecting back to people is a fantastic part of my life. It allows me to really connect with people and have more meaningful or interesting conversations.

I also use reflections as a means of self-examination or introspection to better understand how I am feeling about certain things.

How to reflect on your life to be more successful?

You can reflect in many different ways, such as:

  • Writing out how you feel via a journal
  • Drawing and using art therapy to get your emotions out
  • Composing a short story that allows you to reflect on how you feel
  • Even simply sitting down and taking the time to process what has happened

These methods are impactful to your life.

Taking the time to reflect

Just sitting down and taking the time to reflect on your life allows you to put things in perspective. When you have things in perspective, your mind is no longer in a chasing mentality.

You are calmer and you also return to your centre.

As I mentioned earlier reflecting a woman’s thoughts creates the first foundations of trust at the start of a relationship. It is also one of the key attributes of a seduction. To learn more about the other traits of a seduction see my infographic below. You can also read my how to seduce women article.

The 5 male archetypes that attract women

The fourth spiritual law of success with women – Recording

My fourth spiritual law of success with women is to record. Recording for me is self-expression. It is my art and it allows me to articulate how I feel on the inside and to connect with people.

We all feel isolated at certain times in our lives and we all feel and crave connection.

Self-expression is a way to connect with humanity.

Whenever I pick up my microphone and I speak my truth I feel better.

How does self-expression connect you to people?

I call it recording, but it can be anything where you are educating anyone else on your truth – the real term for this is art.

What you want to do through your art – whether it is speaking, writing, drawing, philosophy – is to articulate your thoughts in a way that the layman can understand without having had your life experiences.

A fantastic example of this is Francesco Goya. He did a painting called The 3rd of May 1808. It powerfully portrays a scene where Spanish resistance fighters are executed by the invading French army.

When you look at that painting, it is almost like reading a book describing the events that took place.

This painting depicts so much truth that you can understand what the artist was feeling at that time.

And that was his way of connecting with people to put forward his true feelings about that situation.

Different ways to record your truth?

If you are someone who has reservations about putting their name to something online or out in the public arena.

Nowadays you don’t need to tell anyone else what you are doing as:

  • You can record a podcast under a different name
  • Or you can write a blog under a different name
  • You can create any content with anonymity

The spiritual practice of recording my thoughts as a way of self-expressing my truth to connect with people is one of the best aspects of my life.

In doing so, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Above all, I feel renewed. I feel centred and I feel powerful.

It is in this spirit that I created the following infographic as a visual reminder to help you to stay focused on your self-development as a man and instil healthy habits that are good for your spirituality. You can read my how to never be needy with women article where I expand on each point.

5 spiritual laws to follow to be successful with women

The fifth spiritual law of success with women – Resting

My fifth spiritual law of success with women is to rest.

In essence, it means don’t spend all your time working because life is long.

If you just zoom out a little bit from a week to two weeks, through to a month to six months. If you are someone who doesn’t rest, you can imagine the stress and impact that will have on your system.

What are different ways of spiritually resting?

There are many different forms of resting.

For instance:

  • Meditating
  • Reflecting
  • Going hiking
  • Watching TV or a film
  • Spending time with friends
  • Listening to podcasts or audios

If you work too much, you are going to get burnt out.

Likewise, if you rest too much, you are also going to become lazy. So there is a balance to strive for.

What I want to stress is do not feel bad about taking the time to rest and recuperate.

Leading a modern spiritual life as a man

I want to articulate how, as a man, you can become more spiritual in your life and develop your confidence in a way that will trigger many positive things happening to you.

Over my many years working as a professional dating coach, I can say with certainty that spiritual men:

  • Are attractive to women
  • Never chase women
  • Have a vitality to them

As per the image below we can teach you how to create a long term relationship the right way from the start. To find out more about our coaching you can visit our live training page.

A model next to spiritual laws of success with women and finding a long term girlfriend


  • Running. This is the best mood enhancer that adds to the happiness and contentment in my life. Use visualisations and meditative practices whilst running to achieve a flow state and channel the energy to serve you.
  • Reading. Reading classics and any spiritual books will make a positive impact on your life and change you for the better. You will also have more conversational topics to speak to women about.
  • Reflecting. Taking the time to write out or to draw how you are feeling and to reflect your feelings to the world. This helps you organise some of that chaos, understand yourself better and put your life in order.
  • Recording. This is any form of self-expression where you take the time to articulate your truth somehow to the world. This helps you feel renewed, centred, and powerful.
  • Resting. It is important to replenish yourself, however, this looks for you. You can go hiking or watch a film. You can meditate or have afternoon naps. But do not feel bad about resting.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
Dating Coach

Your path to dating success

Social Attraction Social Attraction Social Attraction