Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men | A Modern Guide
In this article, I am going to go through the main four dating struggles of highly intelligent men.
I will also propose what you can do to remedy each of those issues.
Lastly, I will give you bonus ways that you can implement to meet more women if you happen to be a highly intelligent guy.
Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men #1 – Over Analysing
The first dating struggle of highly intelligent men is they have a tendency to overanalyse everything.
If you are a smart guy, chances are that you think about issues more deeply than the majority of people.
Most people in life are so busy trying to keep up with the pace of a capitalist society that they find it difficult to have the time to think about things deeply.
Whereas because you are intelligent, you have the brainpower to be able to give things some considerable thought.
The problem comes when you are trying to connect and have a conversation with women because you are oscillating at different levels. You are thinking in a much deeper way, whereas she could be more on the nose.
This is not always true, but in my experience of working with intelligent guys, it is often the case.
What you can do to remedy the situation is you can learn how to meditate.
By learning how to meditate, you will teach yourself what it is like to slow down or to calm your inner voice.
This will prove indispensable to you when you are speaking to women.
You will find this truly valuable, not only in improving your dating life but your whole life.
Slowing down your inner voice will:
- Give you notable rest from your overactive mind
- End that chasing mindset and allow things to flow towards you
- Put your life correctly in the centre
My infographic below gives you a snapshot of how meditation can help you.
Click on the following link to read my related article and view my seven meditation videos – Meditation | Seven Practices That Make You A More Attractive Man
Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men #2 – Not Demonstrating Empathy
The second dating struggle of highly intelligent men they do not demonstrate enough empathy when they speak to women.
Because you are oscillating at different levels (which I spoke about earlier), you find it very difficult to connect because your thought processes are far deeper.
This makes it a struggle to identify with someone and to really understand her view of the world.
However, what you can do here is you can use something called demonstrating empathy. Being able to demonstrate empathy builds the first foundations of trust.
I am going to briefly go through three ways that will help you learn how to grasp this.
The first way is to simply echo back the last few words that a woman says to you.
For example, if she says: “I just went shopping today and bought a really nice pair of shoes.”
You echo back: “A really nice pair of shoes.”
- You simply echo back her last few words
- She will say yes and nod and then provide you with more information
In effect, what you have demonstrated here is that you have actively listened to her and that you understand her.
It will revolutionise the way that you speak to women.
The second way is with a reflection.
With a reflection, what you do is take what a woman says and you simplify it back into one short phrase.
For instance, if a girl says to you: “I love training at the gym and I love the endorphins.”
- You respond: “You love training at the gym because of the endorphins”
- So you feel (insert emotion) because (insert reason)
Behavioural psychologists use this technique in therapy because it allows you to understand and connect with someone.
You simply take what they say and you make it succinct in one sentence.
- If you get it right, the person will say yes and nod
- If you get it wrong, they will shake their head and give you more information
- You can then have another go at reflecting back
This is a very powerful tool.
The third way you can demonstrate empathy is you take what a woman says and you reflect back many layers deeper.
This is great if you have intelligence because it is something that most guys are not able to do unless they are smart.
For instance, if a girl says: “I’m doing an Open University mathematics degree, I’m going to climb Mount Everest, and I’m also doing my level three personal training.”
You can echo, or you can reflect back as outlined above, and both of those are powerful.
Or you can think about why a girl would be pursuing all of these three things?
What is her motive?
Think about the reason behind her words.
You can then say something like: “You really struggle with boredom.“
- She will either say yes and nod and talk more on the subject
- Or she will say no, and she will give you more information
If she says: “No, I don’t really get bored. I just feel great when I do these things and feel terrible when I don’t.”
You can then have another go and say: “You don’t feel validated enough in life.“
What will happen is the girl will typically pause when you hit the nail on the head and she will think about it. She may respond: “Oh my God, how did you know that? That’s amazing.”
By reflecting back in this way you are:
- Using your intelligence to take in everything that a woman is saying to you
- Reflecting back at a deeper level
- Able to successfully connect with women
As per the image below we can coach you how to connect with women by demonstrating empathy and using reflections.
To find out more about our coaching then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.
Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men #3 – Not Spending Enough Time Socialising
The third dating struggle of highly intelligent men is they do not enough time spent socialising.
The remedy for this one is simple and yet so effective: Less time studying and reading, and more time spent in the presence of women.
I cannot stress that enough.
It doesn’t need to be a long time – an hour a day perhaps, but go out and socialise.
My experience of very smart individuals is that they really struggle to connect with people because they don’t spend enough time doing it in the real world.
This is something that you are going to have to put effort into. Spending time socialising with men and with women will:
- Enhance your emotional intelligence
- Improve your social intelligence
- Positively impact your whole life for the better
Although titled ‘How to get back into Dating, ‘ the infographic below serves to give you some viable ways you can increase your time spent socialising.
I would also advocate reading my related article – How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways).
Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men #4 – Hiding Behind Intelligence
The fourth dating stating struggle of highly intelligent men is that they hide behind their intelligence and academia and use it as protective armour.
For instance, if a girl says to you: “Did you watch this show on TV?”
A lot of smart guys may immediately reply: “I don’t watch TV.”
It is seemingly important for you to let her know that you don’t watch TV. Or perhaps you simply don’t watch TV and you don’t know what else to say.
However, what you have done here is:
- Hit her kill switch
- Taken the conversation flow and ended it early
- Created an unnecessary barrier between you
Avoid hitting her kill switch where possible.
When you are speaking to people, especially those with emotional intelligence, you don’t want to hit their kill switch.
If they are excited about something, you want to go with that conversational flow. Instead, you could say: “Oh, what is it you like about that show?”
If you are talking to a woman and all of a sudden she shuts down, think about what you just said.
Chances are, you have just hit her kill switch in some way.
You will find other negative traits that may hit a girl’s kill switch in conversation depicted in my infographic below. Having an awareness of these will help you improve your future conversations.
Bonus Ways For You To Meet Women If You Are A Highly Intelligent Man
The first is to meet women through intellectual pursuits and online forums.
In effect, this means going to forums where other smart people are talking about niche areas that you have knowledge of. It could be making contributions, writing articles or being part of that industry for example.
What will happen is you will meet other smart people that could put you in contact with other women, or potentially you could meet someone through this pursuit.
That is a very viable way of meeting other smart women.
The final is one is to take one of my dating confidence courses.
This way I can speak to you on a one-to-one private basis about how I can help you to develop your dating confidence and your dating life.
For example, as outlined in the image below, we can train you in how to speak to non-responsive women.
To find out more about our other forms of training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.
The four dating struggles of highly intelligent men:
- #1 – Overanalysing everything. The remedy for this is meditation to calm your inner voice.
- #2 – Not showing enough empathy. The remedy for this is to demonstrate empathy using echoes, reflections and emotional connections.
- #3 – Not enough time spent socialising. The remedy for this one is to spend more time socialising an hour a day.
- #4 – Hiding behind your academia. The remedy for this is to avoid hitting a woman’s kill switch. Instead, learn to continue the flow of a conversation.
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