Handling Rejection | How To Turn An Emotional Reaction Into Acceptance

Handling Rejection | How To Turn An Emotional Reaction Into Acceptance

Handling Rejection | How To Turn An Emotional Reaction Into Acceptance

Handling Rejection | How To Turn An Emotional Reaction Into Acceptance

Handling Rejection | How To Turn An Emotional Reaction Into Acceptance

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Rejection is a natural human condition but it is simply a feeling. It has no physical presence and only lives in our minds, yet success in love or in life is not achieved without first handling rejection. We have all experienced it; those times when we feel alone and unwanted. However, once we understand that rejection is an emotional reaction, we can turn this negative sensation into acceptance of the situation.

In fact, the hurt and pain we struggle with is not based on the actual rejection itself but on how we perceive the experience; the way we put ourselves down because of it; the way we allow ourselves to become a victim of it; the way we think that the future holds no hope. Consequently, it is how we react to rejection and learning to cope with it which is considerably more important than someone (of no importance) telling us we are not required.

There are many ways to learn to deal with rejection. These include self-development tools and techniques that involve reflecting on our past, enhancing our self-awareness, and strengthening our sense of self in order to feel more self-assured and confident in facing a future post-rejection.

The most common form of rejection takes place in the dating process followed closely by the job hunting exercise. Both processes will invariably involve, at some point in our lives, not getting a reply to a message we have sent or not securing a second date or interview, although it is worth bearing in mind that rejection can happen at any stage of the procedures. Whatever stage it occurs, it is very much about your thinking process which determines how well you can move on.

First of all, do not take it personally. It is never you as a person that is being rejected. Whoever is rejecting you is quite probably reacting to something in their own lives or demands outside of your control or knowledge. They do not even know you that well! You cannot allow your self-esteem to be influenced and affected by people who are not qualified to make judgements on you.

Dealing with rejection – and overcoming it – is about maintaining a positive mental attitude. Staying positive helps place a better perspective and view of the situation. In other words and to paraphrase a well-known idiom: the door that opens after another has been shut only opens if you can see it opening.

People with a strong and positive mental attitude acknowledge their emotions. They have what is called emotional intelligence or self-awareness. They accept embarrassment or disappointment head-on.

Rather than trying to minimise the hurt or convincing themselves that it was not a painful experience, they welcome the opportunity of learning from it. It is a time for self-growth; a chance to grow stronger and more confident.

There is a realisation that the experience of being rejected is, in fact, not as fearful as what was imagined. It teaches you about other areas in your life that may need improvement and, most certainly, being able to handle rejection is one of the first principles for attaining more wisdom.

To conclude, rejection is okay. Self-rejection is not. Rejection does not define you; self-compassion does. Being kind to yourself and killing off your harsh inner critic with positive words and affirmations builds the foundation for handling rejection. If you are not prepared to be rejected, then perhaps you are not ready for change.

Indeed, one could say, the true, but often hidden, pathway to rewarding and loving relationships is only discovered after travelling down the route of rejection – a few times!


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