How To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested | The Bulletproof Guide

How To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested | The Bulletproof Guide

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to go teach you how to attract a woman who is not interested. If you implement what I am about to tell you, your results with women will be instantaneously better. Moreover, you will have the confidence to attract the women that you desire into your life.

Covered here:

  • How to attract a woman who is not interested (in any scenario)
  • Strategies to attract women in your day to day life (that work)
  • How to lead a lifestyle that draws women to you (fast)

I love what I do for a living – I am a professional dating coach and I help my clients to excel in dating, in their self-development, and in their life. By the end of this article, I guarantee you that if you pay attention and follow my advice, your dating life will be ten times better.

If you would like to learn how to attract any woman in the real world then check out our client testimonials and book our next dating confidence course. Watch them on YouTube here: Attracting women courses for men:

Daygame confidence dating course for men to attract and gain interest from women

How do I instantly attract more women?

One way to instantly attract more women is to enhance the way they perceive you via your body language posture. So rather than leaning over and appearing stressed or unconfident, if you stand to attention like you are in the army, you automatically stand up straighter. This has an immediate impact on energizing your body.

On a night out, another thing you can do is avoid crossing your arms in front of your body and having closed body language. For instance, holding your drink in front of your chest like a protective barrier. All this does is imply that you lack confidence and it does not encourage people to want to come and speak to you.

Convey energy

Instead, if you stand straight, with an open posture and hold your drink down to one side, this conveys the body language of someone who is confident and attractive. Someone with open body language who is welcoming to speak to.

Additionally, when you speak, do not speak in a low voice projecting downwards. Rather, try and speak with energy and with volume. In truth, if I had to select one aspect that will make you more attractive to women. And this includes any woman who does not seem interested, it is to have more energy. The more energy you have when you are socializing in the presence of women, the more attractive you become.

Take a moment to reflect on how we all enjoy being around someone who is charismatic. Charismatic people have something about them – and this comes from the energy they have. Likewise, if you increase your own energy around women you will be viewed as a more attractive man. Trust me, that one piece of advice will change your life.

As well as being high energy, there are other ways to help you make a lasting impression on women – as you can see in my infographic underneath. I go into more depth on how to implement each one in my related how to speak to women article.

5 conversational techniques to attract women and make them more interested in you

How do I attract women during the day?

There are various ways to attract a woman during the day and make her interested in you. In fact, I host dating confidence courses where I take my clients into the real world and teach them how to approach, attract, flirt, engage and go on instant dates with women they meet in the day. It is one of my favourite things to do as I can help bring about instant and positive change in someone’s life.

How do you go about approaching and attracting women in the day? You have to make a decision within half a second of seeing a girl and then you have to fully commit to approaching her. If you have ever been in a situation where you wanted to go and speak directly to a certain woman, yet did not have the nerve to try it, you are missing out massively.

Learn daygame

If you want to learn how to develop the confidence to get over the line, then visit my Social Attraction website. Watch the client testimonial videos on my website and imagine yourself doing that. Moreover, if you like what you see, then you can book a consultation call with me. We can then talk about how I can help you exponentially increase your dating results.

It doesn’t matter what age you are or your past relationship history. I have coached so many people over the last ten years of my life that I guarantee I can help you.

To understand more about the fundamentals of daygame and what it entails you can read my daygame article. A snapshot of the information is covered here:

3 main points depicting Daygame

How do I attract women with my body language?

I love this question as I have a great way to use your body language to get a woman’s attention. Let’s say you are in any social setting, like a bar. You see someone that you want to speak to. Your intention is to attract this woman and make her interested in you to respond, but without using words yet.

What you can do is to point at her. When she acknowledges it and points back at you, you then pretend that you didn’t mean her. You can even point at the girl behind her. She will react, perhaps with some embarrassment, and you can then playfully tell her to come over.

Convey confidence

This is a way of using your body language to spark attraction very quickly. It also demonstrates confidence from the outset as only a confident and fun man would act this way. Yes, of course, you can sit down and take up space and present a dominant frame etc. These are attractive traits but, personally, I like to force indicators to see if it goes anywhere.

So next time you get eye contact with a woman point at her and see what she does. This is you using your body language to initiate a conversation to flirt and have fun.

For other fun ways to approach women take a look at my infographic guide below. This is taken from my how to approach women article. I suggest reading this to give you more confidence in initiating conversation with women during the day and on a night out.

9 ways to help you approach and attract a woman and gain her interest

How do I attract women by pursuing my interests?

Pursuing your interests is exactly what should be doing. You pursue your interests in life – and while you are being successful doing that – you do not reply to a woman’s messages and you do not speak on the phone. It is only in your free time when you should text, organise to see people and go on dates.

In fact, women are ultra attracted to a man who has his own stuff going on and who does not automatically put them top of his list of priorities.


For this reason, if you have just met a woman that you like and start dating do not give up your interests straight away. This is the worst thing to do.

Instead, continue on your path and spend time with women when you are not working towards your life goals and your ambitions. Trust me, there is nothing more attractive than a guy who is busy doing his own thing, achieving success and moving forward in his life.

To learn more about the traits and actions of attractive men and how they interact with women, you can read my dating tips for men article. The main principles are included in the guide below:

9 techniques that attractive men use around women including a women who is not initially interested

How do I attract women with my style of dress?

There are a couple of things you can do to attract women by the way that you dress. You can dress bad boy style if that is you. If that is not your style, then you can go for the smart look.

For advice in attaining a put together smart and styled look, I suggest following Dr Pocket Square on Instagram. He works for Social Attraction and happens to be a doctor who is also into men’s style. He is awesome and has restyled me over the years.

In fact, when Neel (a.k.a Dr Pocket Square) and I are together on a night out, we often receive indicators that women are interested in us because we dress very smart. Smarter than anyone else that you generally would meet, which is suggestive of success – an attribute that women find attractive.

Own your style

I would advise you to try out different looks and different styles of dress and then walk down the street. If girls notice you and play with their hair when they see you, you know that you have hit your style head-on.

Remember that everyone is individual too, so what works for some men will not necessarily work for others. I know guys that dress in trainers and jeans who get a lot of attention from women too. So, it is more about finding a style that suits you. However, if you do want to go down the smart route, then check out Dr Pocket Square’s Instagram page. By the way, mine is at @garygunnshow if you want to see what I am up to on a day to day basis.

The way you dress is one immediate trait noticed by women, yet your body language and eye contact are two other distinct attributes not to be ignored, as shown in my infographic below. For more information on this, take a read of my how to attract women instantly article.

Three instant ways to attract a woman and generate interest

How do I attract women online?

Attracting women online is becoming more complicated as 70 % of users are men. Of course, you can still get success but it is harder now. I have written a book called An Education In Online Dating that can help you here. It is a best-selling book and costs £3.99 to buy online.

This offers advice on how to write your profile, what photos to use and how to send messages. It took me years to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. So the easiest way of getting results online is to use the standard structure that I outline in the book. Also my company, Social Attraction takes online dating photos and we write profiles. If you are interested in that visit our online dating page and we can take care of your online dating for you.

You can also read my in-depth online dating article where I talk about how to get more matches online, waste less time and receive more messages from women. The infographic below includes some key points that are worth taking note of for anyone who wants to online date in today’s world.

9 different ways to send online dating messages and attract a woman and secure her interest

How do I attract women instead of being friend-zoned?

When you become friend-zoned by women it is often because you are demonstrating too much empathy in conversation. This means you are focusing on connecting with women to the detriment of all other aspects of your personality.

What you need to do is punctuate your conversations with women by breaking rapport. This importantly allows you to balance the dialogue. So, if you are someone who just connects via empathy, you need to balance it with flirting.

Spend time flirting

Flirting is when you are fun and playful. It is when you give her a nickname and you take the mick out of a little bit. In short, you flirt with her and you disagree with her. These are all elements of flirting.

Normally I get two types of clients: Clients that usually end up friend-zoned by not flirting enough with women, or clients that flirt too much and cannot connect or find girlfriends. Both the flirting and the connection phase are elements that I specialize in and enjoy teaching. If you want to learn either you can book a consultation call with me and we can speak further.

Importantly, however, you have to know how to do both to attract women. It is as simple as that. If you do not know how to do both, you are always going to struggle. Also, you need to know where you are at in your interaction with a woman: Do I need to flirt or do I need to connect? You will have no idea unless you know the strategies for both. To learn more about influencing a woman to review her perception of you read my how to get out of the friend zone article. Below is a snapshot of some of the main points:

5 examples of how to get out of the friend zone with a woman who is not interested in you

How do I spark attraction with a woman?

One great way to spark attraction with a woman is by telling childhood stories. Now childhood stories are a way of uniquely expressing your character to a woman in a way that is emotive, without the need of having preconceived stories.

As an example, if a girl says that she just got back from the park with her dog. Well, you could talk about her dog or perhaps you could talk about fact that you have got a dog…

Yet, childhood stories are an even better way of connecting. Therefore I would respond by saying:

“I remember my first memory of having dogs when I was a kid. We had two miniature poodles and we had to give one of them up to my grandmother because we couldn’t look after it anymore. I remember feeling really upset at the time because I love dogs and even now I have just recently re-homed a dog.”

Share stories

So you see the above story wasn’t predetermined. Rather, it was a real story and there was emotion within it. Telling childhood stories in this way will:

  • Allow a woman to know more about you
  • Empower you to open up and be vulnerable
  • Influence the woman to open up and be vulnerable back

Childhood stories will change the matrix of your dating life. They are so powerful and you will get amazing responses. Simply tell one and your life will change in so many ways I cannot even begin to tell you. In my infographic below you will find a few other impactful ways to build attraction in your conversations with women. Read my how to talk to women article to learn more about each principle and why it works.

4 expert ways to talk to women

How do I attract a woman that I’ve known for a while?

If you have known a woman for a while, then I would say that she has likely already put you in the friend zone if she has not escalated with you. My advice to you would be to start exhibiting different behaviours to influence her to change her view of you.

Two of the best things to do is limit your time with her and end the interaction first. In real life this means, instead of hanging out with her for three hours, you say that you only have an hour. Furthermore, when you are with her, you put an end to your time together before she does. So you look at your watch and say, “Oh is that the time? I’ve got to go.”

Limiting your time and ending the interaction early will make you instantly ten times more attractive, as people value what they have less of. Additionally, it shows you as a busy individual who has stuff going on in his life. They are two pieces of gold that will make you more attractive, not only to women but also to your friends and to everyone in your life.

As depicted in the image below we can teach you how to become a more attractive individual by connecting with women at a deeper level. To find out more about our coaching visit our live training page.

Model with a light behind her and three ways to connect in conversation

How can I attract a girlfriend?

The way that you attract a girlfriend is to create space in your life for a woman to join you. This means that you have a lifestyle where you are doing the things that you enjoy, and you can then invite a girl into your life to do those things with you.

For example, let’s say you are someone who actively likes to go to social events or sporting events. What is attractive is inviting a girl to join you to take part in that aspect of your life.

Take the lead

What you do not do is go and join her life, because that way, you are allowing her to lead you. On my dating confidence courses, I have frequently noticed this – the discernable difference in dating results between clients who have interests and activities, as opposed to clients who don’t. The ones who are busy and have their own interests make it much easier to invite women along to join them.

When a woman meets you she needs to know the following:

  • That you have got your life in order
  • You have made good decisions
  • You have confidence

These are the considerations that will determine whether she wants to join you in what you are doing. So if you are trying to organize a date and you normally say: “Oh let’s go for drinks on Friday.”

Stop right there and, instead, frame it: “I’m going for drinks on Friday with my friends. Why don’t you come along? Feel free to bring your friends?”

That is the difference between someone who is attractive and someone who is not. You can learn more long term strategies to become more attractive from the following infographic guide. I also suggest reading my corresponding how to attract women article as this will massively help you to develop an open and attractive mindset.

Five ways to attract women in to long-term girlfriends

How do I attract my ex-girlfriend back?

I have written an article on my website where I go in-depth on how to attract an ex-girlfriend back because it is a tricky topic. I have included the article below, so it is easy for you to locate and read. Essentially what you need to do is go back to how you were when you first met each other. Namely, because this was the point in your relationship when she was attracted to you.

I can almost guarantee what has happened over the course of your relationship is you have shown behaviours that she finds unattractive. Perhaps when you first met you had energy, you were into sports, you were more fun and had loads of mates. Then you began dating and you proceeded to let all of them go for the relationship. She is now thinking: “Hang on a minute, this isn’t the guy I’m attracted to.”

Therefore you need to revert back to how you were when you first met one another. Guess what happens from this? You end up meeting loads more women because your charisma comes back. And as a result, you are now less hung up on your ex-girlfriend.

Review who you are

The advice I give to my clients is let’s make you more attractive to everyone right? Shall we focus on getting you sorted, so you can go and meet women today? If you still want to try and get your ex-girlfriend back at that stage you will have all the tools necessary. However, I can assure you that you will no longer feel the overwhelming need to because I am going to elevate you to the point in your life where you are going to be looking up and forwards, rather than looking back.

So if you are stuck thinking about how to attract your ex back I get it. I have coached enough people through it, but it is worth giving time and deliberation to the question that if you felt more confident in yourself and your ability to attract women, would you still want her back?

Considerations for any man who wants to get back together with his ex-girlfriend are included in the following infographic. As I mentioned above, you should also read my how to get your ex-girlfriend back article.

5 invaluable ways to develop yourself and get back together with your ex-girlfriend

How do I attract a woman who doesn’t seem interested?

When you are trying to attract a woman and she does not seem interested in you, perhaps it is because you are trying too hard to establish rapport with her during the conversation, even at those moments when you should be breaking rapport.

As an example, you are speaking to a girl. She proceeds to pick up her phone and start looking at it mid-conversation. How do you handle that? Chances are you don’t know. What you should say is: “Do you always pick up your phone and read it while you’re talking to someone?”

This way you establish a boundary – and remember that boundaries are vital in conveying to others how we wish to be treated, as well as demonstrating how we would treat others.

Have boundaries

You have two further options in this scenario. You can either say to the girl: “Put your phone away – we’re having a conversation” or you can leave the interaction while outlining the reason why. Adhering to a personal boundary in this way will give you huge confidence. It changes your demeanour.

What I will say is that next time you find yourself in a similar situation, women will generally pick up on the fact that you have confidence and personal boundaries. This means that this type of situation is unlikely to reoccur.

Personally, I have no problems saying these things if I am speaking to someone and I perceive them to be rude. I will say what I think about their behaviour or actions. Indeed, often when you say what you think, if you weren’t attractive before, you are now because you are establishing that boundary. You are speaking to them in a way that only someone with confidence would, which is hugely attractive.

If you want to create personal boundaries in your own life, then take a look at the below infographic and read my related ultimate guide to strong relationship boundaries article. This will give you a blueprint for how to go about setting a personal boundary as well as touch on the benefits it will add to your life.

3 main points to secure strong relationship boundaries


  • Be high energy when you are meeting women
  • Create a lifestyle where women can join you
  • Learn when to build and break rapport

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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