How To Carry On A Conversation With Women | The Complete Guide

How To Carry On A Conversation With Women | The Complete Guide

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

This article will teach you how to carry on a conversation with women. Having the ability to continue a conversation with energy and interest is an entirely different skillset from the opening 3-5 minutes when you first meet and speak to a woman. It is a common sticking point for many men who attend my dating confidence courses.

Knowing how to carry on a conversation effectively with women will do the following:

  • Ensure that you never again encounter that awkward moment when the conversation dries up
  • Allow you to use spatial, social and emotional intelligence in an alluring manner with any woman you meet
  • Prevent you from conveying negative and off-putting traits in all your conversations with women

Learn how to be more attractive to women by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You will find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. On the call, we will work out which of our courses is right for you to transform your dating confidence.


To help transform your conversations and results with women, book onto our next dating confidence course. Watch our client testimonials on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:


Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence and carry on a conversation with women


How to keep a conversation going with a woman you like?


One simple and effective way to carry on a conversation with a woman you like is by changing location. Indeed if we take two socially accomplished people and stand them next to each other in a conversation. At some point, one of them will display the following signs:

  • Casually check their phone
  • Look at the people around them
  • Express their desire to move on from the interaction

This scenario plays out time and time again for many men who meet women during the day and in evening environments. It results in many men – who are often the more invested party in continuing the conversation – feeling insecure. They will think:

“Oh my God, she is about to go. She is about to leave.”

A woman’s growing disinterest in the conversation can cause insecurity to bubble up simultaneously. In response, most of us start barraging the woman with questions. Significantly, she can sense our desperation for her to stay – and all of a sudden, the interaction is over.

Change location

However, an ideal remedy to prevent this disinterest from arising is to move location. It can be a metre and a half away to sit down or lean up against something. Yet, the simple act of changing location means you move from two individuals who have just met to embodying two people in dialogue carrying on a conversation.

Going to a location where the two of you are together has a powerful psychological influence in inciting personal investment from both parties in the conversation and some new energy into the exchange.

The easiest way to do this is to say to a girl either:

  • We are in the way; let’s move over here”
  • “It’s more comfortable here…”

The sooner you can move during an interaction, the more relaxed you will become. Likewise, the more comfortable the girl you are in dialogue with will also become. This is because you have overcome that barrier from simply meeting someone to engaging in an actual conversation.

In my infographic below, you will find some impactful ways to connect and inject playful energy into your conversations with women. To learn how to use each method, read my how to talk to women article.


4 expert ways to talk to women


How do you talk to women without being boring?


One great way to talk to women without being boring is to invite someone else into the exchange. In effect, this creates a group dynamic and also conveys you have certain positive qualities. By inviting other people into your conversation, you are:

  • Taking some pressure off you
  • Showing that you are socially aware
  • Demonstrating that you do not want to focus solely on her

And some fun ways to do that is to say to someone else near you: “Oh excuse me, could you take a quick photograph of us?” Or if you are speaking about something, you can turn to the person next to you and ask: “Excuse me, we’re just talking about this. What do you think…?”

Have social intelligence

Having the confidence to speak to other people is an attractive trait in a man, as is the fact that you are not trying to monopolise her time, which is something that a lot of men tend to do when they meet an attractive woman. Most men get locked in with a girl and are desperate to talk only to her. Therefore they have no interest in speaking to anyone else, including their own friends. This type of behaviour is insecure and off-putting to many women. It is also rude to your friends and her own.

By involving other people in your interaction, you show that you can take or leave the exchange. In turn, this showcases that you are a confident and attractive guy. Accordingly, you can introduce the girl to other people and introduce others to her. Besides, bringing more people into the exchange adds to the fun. It makes it more exciting for everyone as social dynamics can flourish.

Most other guys in that situation will only speak to her and feel insecure about losing her. She will feel similar feelings towards you when you do the opposite: Why isn’t this guy monopolising my time, as everyone else does? Acting this way is the essence of an attractive man.

Make an introduction

You can say to her: “Oh, let me introduce you to someone” And then you can leave for a while. You will find that she will want to come back and speak to you.

Do not be afraid of leaving the conversation and coming back to it. Exiting a conversation with a girl knowing that it will reconvene at some point later in the evening, conveys confidence and a high degree of social intelligence. In contrast, what most guys have done at that time is spend an hour talking to her and:

  • Given too much of their time
  • Given far too much of their attention

They have likely given off signs of desperation and insecurity by acting this way – two very unattractive traits.

To help you recognise when a girl is engaged in the conversation and is flirting with you, I have created the following infographic. I suggest you read my corresponding signs she wants you sexually article where I go into more detail on each of these signs and their meaning. Understanding a woman’s body language will ensure you recognise when a woman finds you attractive and when she does not.


5 signals to look out for when a woman is attracted to you and wants to carry on a conversation


How to talk to women?


The most impactful way to carry on a conversation with women is to speak more. What most guys tend to do when they are feeling anxious is to barrage the woman with questions such as the following:

  • What do you do?
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do for work?

She has likely heard these hundreds of times. Moreover, you are not doing yourself justice because you are not speaking about yourself. And revealing information about yourself is essential when trying to connect with a woman.

In the first few minutes of meeting someone, you should not be afraid of speaking more to carry on a conversation. Speaking about yourself gives the woman the opportunity to get to know you. Some of the things that you can talk about in the first few minutes are things like:

  • Any hobbies
  • An interest in travelling
  • Your creativity outlets

Essentially the best parts of your personality; the most aspirational parts.

Conversational threading

When you speak more, you give women the tools to pick up on a subject they like to carry on the conversation. This is known as conversational threading and is a technique that will allow you to speak more.

So, for example, if a woman says: “I’m from Madrid.”

I can say: “I host training courses in Madrid. Retiro Park is amazing, and my favourite art gallery, the Prado museum, is there. I think Francisco Goya is one of the greatest painters that has ever lived. His execution painting is phenomenal.

But what I find interesting is how his artwork developed with his age. And when he painted his black paintings, how he was really depicting the truth.  A lot of people think that Goya was a dark painter. I don’t; I just think he was executing his belief on what life was like during that period in Spain.”

If you say that to a girl, you give her so many conversational threads to pick up and respond with. Remember the intention is to:

  • Give her a variety of topics to pick up on
  • Allow her to ask you questions to get to know you
  • Convey attractive and aspirational parts of your personality

You can apply this principle to any area of communication with people. The more things you have to talk about, the more interesting and attractive you can become. In other words, the more you improve your conversation ammunition. Below I have designed an infographic that will help you to amp up your conversations with women. I also suggest you read my related how to speak to women article where I detail each technique.


5 conversational techniques that will make her remember you


How do you always carry on a conversation with women?


Another way to carry on a conversation with women is to give more depth to any answer to a generic question. For example, if a girl asks: “What’s your favourite book?” Instead of simply giving a brief response of the name of the author and book title, you can use this as an opportunity to speak more.

For instance, you could reply:

“Well, my favourite Russian author is probably Solzhenitsyn or, for short stories Anton Chekhov. My favourite Scottish writer is Arthur Conan Doyle. Obviously, English is Shakespeare, and The Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald is probably my favourite American book.”

Now suddenly, you have taken a generic question, and you have spoken at length. In effect, you have:

  • Made it easy to carry on your conversation with her
  • Given her the opportunity to ask questions about what you have just said
  • Showcased that you like to read, thereby sub-communicating good qualities about yourself

Have emotional intelligence

In my experience, the best thing you can do to carry on a conversation with women is to practise speaking more to everyone you meet day-to-day. Additionally, do not shy away from giving more words to your answers and talking at length. The more you do this, the easier you will learn to conversational thread.

Often I can have a conversation where I give 10 or 12 threads to a girl, and she could respond with, for example: “Oh, so you like Spain then?” And I reply: “I love Spain. The last time I remember I was in Barcelona, this happened…

In giving more and more, you make it easier for the conversational flow to continue. So the girl may say: “Oh, okay, so Barcelona is better than Madrid?” You: “Oh yeah, because of …”

So remember to do the following in your conversations:

  • Speak at length
  • Employ conversational threading
  • Give more information in your answers

It will paint a nicer picture of you to the girl you are in dialogue with.

Avoid negative qualities

I will now highlight a few conversation errors to try and avoid committing when speaking to women. Firstly, you should avoid saying you are tired or not feeling well when you first meet her, as this reveals poor genetics from the outset.

Secondly, make sure that you are nonjudgmental in your conversations. In being judgmental about someone or a particular subject, you indicate that you are emotionally insecure, which is unattractive. If you easily judge another person carelessly and casually, women will pick up on that insecurity. To find out more about the other primary signs of male insecurity to avoid displaying when speaking to women, look at my infographic below. To learn more on each, read my dating coach for men article.

You will recognise when you have messed something up when talking to a girl. Things can be going well, and then suddenly, bang, she loses interest. 99% of the time, this will be because you have shown that you are judgmental or insecure somehow. Therefore try and eradicate these traits from your dialogue, and you will notice that women will start to give you signals that they like you.


9 signs of male insecurity that turn women off


Summary


  • Use Spatial Intelligence. The simple act of moving from your meeting location to a new location will induce more energy into an interaction and build trust with her and allow the conversation to flow.
  • Use Social Intelligence. Introducing another person, or a group of other people, into the exchange helps the social dynamics to flourish by showcasing your confidence and self-possession. It also injects more fun.
  • Use Emotional Intelligence. You give her more opportunities to get to know you and develop a connection in speaking more. Give more depth to your answers and use conversational threading as a way of lengthening your conversations.

Written by Gary Gunn


Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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