How To Flirt With A Woman | The Serious Man’s Guide (2021)

How To Flirt With A Woman | The Serious Man’s Guide (2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

When I think about how to flirt with a woman, I think about being fun and playful or serious and commanding. Both of these appear to be the antithesis of one another, yet when we take a look behind these behaviours we see that they lie on the same side of the bed.

Flirting with women, when natural, comes from a place of mental relaxation. By this I mean, that it is almost impossible to flirt with women when we are uptight and too serious about life. In my professional opinion, we can all learn how to flirt with a woman – in our own way that works.

If you want to learn how to flirt with a woman in the real world, review our client testimonials and book onto our next dating confidence course. View them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

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How to flirt with a woman the right way

The key and simple steps are to clear our minds when we speak to women.

This means that we no longer:

  • Think about what to say next
  • Feel anxiety around women
  • Pre-plan our stories

Instead, we take a Samurai mindset into our interactions with women meaning we:

  • Clear our mind
  • Have no emotional turmoil
  • Let the words come at the right time

This sounds simple and at the same time ethereal and like jargon. If you want techniques only, then you can find out more about this in my how to flirt with women article. Here is an overview infographic:

9 different methods to flirt with women

The truth about flirting with a woman

Let us hear what Michael and his ex-girlfriend have to tell us.

When Michael was eighteen years old he was a musical star. From the age of eight years old, he was a child prodigy. He never concerned himself with what members of the opposite sex thought about him because he was too focused on cultivating his natural-born talents.

Having met Melanie, his co-star on a musical, both at the age of thirteen, they seemed for all of the time that they would progress together and live a life of artistic luxury. Until one day Michael broke. He quit music and decided to take his life in a new direction. The family pressure from a young age and the weight of expectations had taken the best from his young soul and he was left empty and desperate to escape.

Michael was reborn that day. Some say for the better, others say for the worse. Yet one thing was for sure – Michael and Melanie were going to be together no more.

The change in your life

Is this not the story from some part of all of our lives? We are going in one direction and then – all of a sudden –  we wake up one day and we do not feel the same way anymore.

We lose one part of our character and we find another. Michael lost his charisma, his direction and his career but gained his freedom in life. If you ask me, we are all destined to make Faustian Bargains our whole life, whether we wish it so, or whether we do not. It is a constant of living in a time-bound world.

Michael when he was Michael Junior caught onto the wave of existence that we, many years older, wish we could bottle up, save and take a tiny spray every morning, noon and night. Michael Junior knew how to live in the present moment. And not only that but how to glide through life with a style that draws us, as spectators, into his world in the hope that we may gain our own form of sensual pleasure from being around such a creature.

Michael Senior had gained his freedom but lost his way, his rhythm and his ease of consciousness.

The mental awakening

We can all feel a kinship with Michael in what happened next. He went into the real world. He met real people and got a real job. Before he knew it, he had lost himself, his way and everything unique about his character.

He went out after work on late Friday evening and discovered his inability to flirt with a woman. He had become uptight, stressed and too serious about life. Michael Senior needs a rebirth, and he needs it fast!

This is the part of the story where many of us search for answers online. And in fact, this could be what has led you to be reading this article today. In the next section, I will explain the next part of your journey.

If you want a few quick ways to start flirting with a woman, then read my how to tease a girl article. Below is a visual overview:

11 ways to sexually flirt with women

Learning how to flirt with a woman

I get an email, someone has booked a video Skype consultation call with me.

At the agreed time, we speak. I listen and we decide the next steps. In other words, how can I help this man achieve his dating goals?

The first step is always helping with the initial fear of approaching women that he finds attractive.

If you want help with this, then you can read my how to overcome approach anxiety article. Here is a brief overview:

3 ways to help diminish anxiety when approaching women

Flirting with a woman today

The next step is to loosen up and teach a simple way to flirt with a woman.

One of the easiest methods is to imagine that you have ten gold coins. Every time that you answer a woman’s question you lose a gold coin. The gold coin represents your level of attraction. This will teach you how to be mysterious, enigmatic and how to flirt with a woman that you have just met. This also happens to be a lot of fun, especially in a social setting.

When you get this element of flirting right you will begin to see sexual signs of interest. I have written an article about this called signs she’s flirting with you. Below is a visual go-to guide:

15 signs a women gives you when she is flirting

How your own story ends is up to you…


  • Clear your mind
  • Have no emotional turmoil
  • Let the words come at the right time

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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