How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 17 Ways)

How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 17 Ways)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In the first section of this how to flirt with women article, I am going to run through ten common questions that I get asked about flirting with women.

Including:

  • How to flirt with women in the real world
  • Tips on flirting with older and younger women
  • Pointers on flirting with women sexually

You can jump to 10 common flirting questions by clicking here


In the second part of this article, I will give you 17 different ways to flirt with women. I have given each technique a fun appealing title to make it easier to recall when you want to use it.

You will learn key aspects such as:

  • Confident body language
  • Attractive eye contact
  • Conversation tips with women

You can jump to 17 ways to flirt with women by clicking here


The final section of the article offers three more in-depth ways to flirt with women.

In this section you will learn:

  • When to use flirting techniques
  • In-depth conversational strategies
  • Powerful eye contact movements

You can jump to 3 in-depth ways to flirt with women by clicking here


How To Flirt With Women – 10 Common Question #1 – How do I flirt with a woman?


To answer this we have to first understand what the word ‘flirt’ means because most of us do not know the definition of the word flirt.

It is very simple. All it means is being playful.

If you imagine the iconic image of when a man and a woman meet, and it seems like they are getting on. The girl is laughing a lot, and there seems to be flirtatious behaviour taking place.

It is not:

  • A serious conversation
  • Someone trying too hard to impress a woman
  • Accentuating what he does for a living to sound better

Instead, he is being playful and he is being mischievous.

So to flirt with women, all you have to do is to become:

  • Playful
  • Boisterous
  • Fun

When you exhibit these behaviours around women you are flirting. Flirting forms the first stage of creating sexual relationships with women.

Once you are able to flirt the whole dating process becomes easier and your dating options increase.


#2 – What should I say to flirt with a girl?


On my dating confidence courses, there are many different ways in which you can learn how to flirt with women.

The simplest method that I teach which you can implement immediately is to just not answer women’s questions.

Therefore every time a girl asks you a question, if you deliberately do not answer it, it is going to start creating the first foundations of sexual tension and will initiate flirting.

  • After you have not answered her questions a few times you will begin to see a change in reaction from her
  • She will recognise that you are flirting with her and that there is indeed tension
  • This is very fun and playful especially if you mix around your answers so you do not answer them directly

It is a great way of flirting with a girl.

Also, when flirting with women it is helpful to have a great first date lined up in your mind so you can set-up seeing the

My infographic below gives some pointers on first dates that will help you make a connection and keep the energy up. You can also read my full article here to learn more detail: First Date Tips | Top Three Ways (That Make Her Want To See You Again)


Three ways to flirt during a first date


#3 – How do I flirt over text with women?


There are many different ways in which you can flirt with women over text.

For me, you should not need to flirt via text because when you first meet a girl that you like, the flirtatious behaviour should have already taken place.

After there is mutual attraction, a connection should then be formed and a date set in both of your diaries there and then.

  • This way your test messaging can become more functional by confirming the date
  • As opposed to trying to flirt more which inevitably leads to validation-seeking behaviour

I see a lot of situations; a lot of screenshots of messages from my clients where they try and overly flirt via text message.

What I will say on this is that if the girl is already into you, then the flirting should just be viewed as the vehicle to keep the conversation going a little bit longer; to keep the connection alive.

And if she is not into the flirting, then texting is not going to doall that much.

In my experience, flirting is okay, but you should be organising that date when you are with the girl and then using a text message platform to organise or confirm the date.

I have created the following infographic for you which can help to improve your text dialogue with women.

You can also read the full article here where I outline how to implement each technique – How To Text Women | Top Strategies (that every man needs to know)


11 fun and effective ways to flirt over text message


#4 – How do you flirt with women sexually?


There are three main ways that you can initiate sexual flirting with women.

  • One is with deep and prolonged eye contact

In my experience, this is something that women tend to initiate first with men. If you want to start flirting back, you can also hold penetrating eye contact.

  • The second way to flirt with women sexually is with the upside-down triangle

You flick your attention from her left eye to her right eye and then down to her mouth. This technique can begin to seduce a woman sexually.

  • The final way to flirt with women sexually is with your body language

You face your body language away from a girl when you first meet her. And then as the conversation is progressing, you can turn your body language towards her as you are holding eye contact.

This is a very powerful and sexual body language posture that we teach on our dating confidence courses.

As per the image below we can train you in how to flirt with women in bars and clubs.

To find out more about our tuition then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.


Model standing next to three ways to attract women in bars and clubs


#5 – How do you subtly flirt with women?


Anytime where you can be playful and misinterpret what she says in a fun way can subtly initiate flirting.

Especially any time you can generate a laugh within a group when you are being playful with her.

In reality, most men do not realise when you are flirting with a woman in their social circle. So this alone should help your confidence in subtly flirting with women within groups.

The other thing that can do to flirt subtly with a girl is using one of the techniques I mentioned earlier, which is not answering her questions directly.

You imperceptibly avoid answering her questions.

Over time, she will pick up on what you are doing and recognise that you are flirting.

To have awareness of when she is flirting back with you I have created the following infographic guide.

You can read the full article here – Signs She’s Flirting With You | The Comprehensive Guide (15 FAQ’s)


15 signs a women gives you when she is flirting


#6 – How do you flirt with an older woman?


In my experience, you can be more direct with older women. You often hear the following phrases from single mature women:

  • I do not want to play games
  • I’ve had enough of game playing
  • I wish people were more direct

Therefore you can be more direct.

You do not need to flirt as much because older women tend to be more in tune with your following aspects:

  • Body language and your posture
  • Eye contact
  • Vocal tonality

So flirting with an older woman can be more focused on speaking with her in conversation.

In truth, if you are out with friends and you are speaking to her instead, she will already know that you like her.

Likewise, if she is happy spending time with you that is also a good indicator that she likes you too.


#7 – How do you flirt with a younger woman?


If you are looking at flirting with girls in their early twenties, they are not as experienced in the dating world as a woman is likely to be in her thirties and forties.

So you can be a bit more playful. You can be more fun and challenging with her.

For example, you can:

  • Reflect that she is inexperienced at certain things
  • Challenge her as not being adventurous enough
  • Avoid answering all of her questions
  • Introduce her to someone and get her name wrong on purpose
  • Accuse her of standing too close to you or touching you too much

Anything that you can do to really be more playful, more outlandish is a great way of flirting with younger women.

If you would like to learn how to become more playful with younger women then this is an area that I teach on my Skype dating confidence courses as highlighted in the infographic below.

To learn more about our taster sessions you can also visit – Skype Dating Confidence Taster Session


Skype dating coaching course


#8 – How do you flirt with an ex-girlfriend?


One fantastic way you can do this is by misinterpreting a memory that you share.

This is a great way of flirting.

Let’s say a funny situation happened when you were on holiday together, and it was your fault.

You could message or speak about it being her fault instead. By misinterpreting the memory in this way it is playful and, moreover, it can initiate flirting.

She will understand that you are flirting because she also knows the truth.

So flirting with an ex-girlfriend is as simple as just misinterpreting experiences shared. And that is a playful way to get back into that flirtatious behaviour.

I have created the following infographic for you if you want to try and get back together with an ex. You can also read my full article here: How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (Fast) | A Step-By-Step Guide


5 invaluable ways to develop yourself and get back together with your ex-girlfriend


#9 – How do you flirt with a shy girl?


You do not want to be over the top when you are with a shy woman.

I would go as far as to say that you do not need to flirt with a shy woman because if she is spending time with you that is already quite a big investment from her.

If you then flirt by taking the mickey out of her or poking fun at her and go a little too far, you may damage her confidence, which you do not want to do.

  • What you want to do is to build her confidence up
  • Not drag her confidence down

So if you get the idea that a woman is shy by nature, I would certainly advocate that you reduce the boisterous playful behaviour.

You could perhaps try one or two comments and see what reaction you get; whether it elicits a positive reaction.

In my experience, the fact that she is spending time with you and you are spending time with her is often enough to start flirting naturally anyway, just because you are spending time together.


#10 – How do you flirt with attractive women?


Most guys tend to get anxiety around attractive women.

They get anxious and then they become try-hard and finally they validation-seek.

It can be very difficult to flirt with attractive women because it evokes this type of behaviour in many men.

So if you struggle in flirting with women, one thing you can do is to stop seeking validation.

What I mean by this is if she:

  • Asks you what you do for a living – you do not exaggerate what you do
  • Accuses you of being judgemental – you do not explain yourself
  • Challenges you in conversation – you just reply with “maybe” or “perhaps”

In my professional opinion the more non-responsive you are around attractive women, the more they will initiate flirting with you.

So if you can’t initiate flirting yourself, one thing you can do is to not seek validation from women.

Once you have successfully flirted with a woman, after those initial few minutes of speaking, you will then need to know how to continue the conversation with her.

I have created the following infographic to help you do this. I also suggest you read my full article here: How To Carry On A Conversation With Women | The Complete Guide


3 types of intelligence to convey in your conversations with women


How To Flirt With Women – Top 17 Ways – (Part 2)


In the following section, you will discover 17 different techniques that you can use to flirt with women.

Included in this section

  • How to flirt with women as soon as you meet them
  • Powerful body language flirting techniques
  • Flirting techniques that increase sexual tension with women

All of these techniques I teach on my dating confidence courses and you can watch the full-length course videos on YouTube here:

How To Have Confidence With Women (Part 1) | Gary Gunn | Full Length HD

How To Have Confidence With Women (Part 2) | Gary Gunn | Full Length HD


#1: How To Flirt With Women Using Eye Contact


When we meet new women we tend to have an autopilot response to either shake their hand or to kiss them on the check.

Stone-cold eyes is a technique that we can utilise before our normal autopilot responds. We simply pause for 1-2 seconds to influence eye contact with women before we greet them.

This method ensures:

  • The girl becomes fully present
  • We make our presence felt right from the start
  • Conveys our confidence from the outset

This technique is really saying “I’m here and you should pay attention to me.”

It can be used in a dating scenario through to work interviews and social get-togethers.

Often, if you struggle to hold eye contact with women it can be because of toxic shame. This is why I have created the below infographic as an easy guide for you to follow to help remedy this.

You can also read my complete article which includes tutorial videos – Toxic Shame | The Ultimate Guide (Including In-Depth Video Tutorials).


Easy guide to removing toxic shame


#2: Flirting With Women With Your Handshake


When we shake hands with women we tend to meet them halfway; so we both move our arms and greet each other in the middle.

The prevailing handshake is a powerful way to show off our dynamism during an initial greeting. By moving women closer to us rather than meeting them halfway.

The moment we clasp a girl’s hand we draw her closer to us rather than keeping an equal level of distance.

When implemented correctly this technique comes across as a gracious greeting that gives off an air of confidence.

As with the stone-cold eye principle, this technique is best used the first time that we meet someone new.

It can also be used in tandem to create a more impactful first impression.


#3: Flirting With High Energy


A high energy introduction allows us to show off a multitude of good attributes within the first few seconds of meeting women.

The high energy principle is a method of greeting people that sub-communicates “I’m fun and I’m going to make your time with me enjoyable.”

Putting a lot of effort into smiling and offering a warm introduction does the following:

  • It adds liveliness to the interaction
  • Conveys we have good genetics
  • Infers to her that she will have fun with you

This technique is best used at any time that we greet someone; the more energy we expend the more important we make the individual feel.

Think of it as gifting them some of our vibes.

If you want to find out other ways to make a memorable impression on a girl when you first meet her, then take a look at my infographic below. This will help you create a connection with her in conversation.

To read my whole article you can click the link here – How To Speak To Women | This Is What Makes Her Think About You


Five ways to improve your conversations with women


#4: How To Flirt With Women With Your Body Movements


When we are around attractive women we tend to feel anxious and, as a result, our adrenaline kicks in.

This can cause us to:

  • Speed up our movements
  • Speak faster
  • Lose our concentration

The slow-motion man is a technique where we slow down our movements to make a powerful impact; it is confirming “I’m in total control here and I’m not anxious.”

If we imagine the control a dancer possesses when he is leading a lady; we can replicate this by slowing down our own action when we sit down or take a sip of our drink.

This technique is best employed at any time we are making a body movement.

So for instance:

  • When we sit down we should retain total control of our body and not just collapse into the seat
  • Similarly, when we raise our glass to drink we can aim to take twice the amount of time

#5: Flirting With Your Body Language


One of the biggest differences we can make to our success with women is by the way that we sit.

To clarify, when we exhibit strong body language we tend to look and feel more powerful.

The firing boss method is when we imagine that we are about to sack an employee.

We are focussed and giving them our attention, whilst knowing that we are in complete control and about to fire them.

Adopting this mindset:

  • Allows us to sit back and take up space
  • Feel more composed and relaxed
  • Enables us to have better interactions with women

We are holding back that we are about to fire them, and this ensures we give off a strong air of confidence, mystery and power.

This technique can be used in all contexts when we are sat down with women.

To discover other ways to convey confident body language to women during conversation, check out my infographic below.

You can also read my related article here where I outline how to change this impression of being consigned to the ‘nice guy’ category How To Stop Being The Nice Guy | The Ultimate Guide (Top 5 Ways)


Five ways to prevent being friend-zoned by women


#6: How To Flirt With Women With Your Voice


When we meet attractive women it is normal to feel anxious and overwhelmed.

This typically manifests itself with us speaking faster than usual, perhaps with a higher pitch, and perhaps even rambling on.

The tongue sucking technique can be used to take a crucial moment and pause in the conversation. We internally suck our own tongue which prevents us from speaking.

This ensures:

  • We avoid speaking impulsively
  • Don’t speak without due consideration
  • It is a discreet movement that gives us some control

We suck our tongue for 2 seconds after a girl has spoken. Also, we hold her eye contact.

This allows us to begin to start building sexual tension.

This technique is best used after a girl has spoken about a topic for more than 10 seconds.

It gives us time to take in what she has just articulated and to give a more considered response.


#7: Flirting With Your Posture


It can be very easy to lose control of our body language when we are in dialogue with attractive women.

If we are able to maintain a powerful posture then we come across as assured and relaxed in conversation.

The secret spy technique is when we act like we have an earpiece in. We stand in a powerful and controlled way and act as if anything happens, then we can take control.

Adopting this pose:

  • Commands respect
  • Conveys confidence
  • Helps women relax in our presence

The more composed and confident we feel on the inside the more our confidence is noticed by women in our vicinity.

We can use this technique anytime that we are standing and talking to anyone.

It allows us to feel commanding, whilst also looking like we are in complete control of the situation.

To learn other vital ways to avoid coming across as needy with women have a look at my infographic below. I also recommend reading the full article here – Dating Advice For Men | How To Never Be Needy With Women (top 5 tips)


5 ways that help you flirt with women without demonstrating neediness


#8: Flirting With Your Eye Movements


Often when we are attracted to women we tend to become too invested in the interaction. It is as if they are the only person in the world who matters at that moment.

The hot girl walking past method helps us to break the intensity of interaction.

We do this by looking over as if an attractive woman is walking past and we are simply glancing over in her direction.

The beauty of this technique is that if the girl also glances over she will see nothing there.

Looking away in this manner:

  • Ensures we maintain our confidence in the interaction
  • Avoid becoming too embroiled in a specific topic
  • Takes some of the pressure off us

As a result, she will recognise that you decided to lead and break the intensity of the conversation.

We can use his technique when we are having an in-depth conversation with a girl and wish to break the intensity so that we can lead the dialogue in a different direction.

As per the image below we can train you in these seductive eye contact techniques. 

To find out more about our training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.


model looking at the camera with three eye contact attraction principles


#9: Flirting With Other Women


When we first meet women it can be very easy to forget all of our plans for that moment. This is because, in our mind, talking to her is far more important.

The date with two supermodels technique permits us to feel like we are running 5 minutes late to an engagement already.  This means that any interaction we are then going to have will make us even later.

Adopting this mindset:

  • Focuses us on making the most impactful impression possible and as fast as possible
  • Allows us to take a girl’s number quickly and with more conviction
  • Reduces the initial anxiety of approaching new women as we only have to invest a limited amount of time.

It also mitigates the potential to come across as desperate or try-hard where we try and keep the conversation going longer than it naturally should.

This technique can be adopted when we are meeting women during the day and want to go in with a high energy approach. It also works well if we are feeling tired.

To help you overcome any approach anxiety you can feel before initiating a conversation with a girl I have created the following infographic as an easy guide.

You read my article here for more detail on these three steps – How To Overcome Approach Anxiety | Three Simple Techniques (that work)


Simple guide to overcoming approach anxiety with women


#10: How To Flirt With Women Using The Triangle Gaze


Moving from a normal conversation to getting ready to kiss a girl can often prove to be a sticking point for many of us, especially if we are feeling anxious.

The hypnotic triangle is a method that lets us increase sexual tension with the woman we like, while simultaneously also keeping our anxiety levels low.

The technique involves flicking from holding her left eye in focus, to her right eye, and then finally to her mouth.

We keep this rotation going until we feel the sexual tension increasing.

The best part of this principle is that from a girl’s perspective, we are holding much stronger eye contact with her than most men that she meets on a day-to-day basis.

The ideal time to use this principle is when you like a girl and would like to increase the sexual tension between both of you before you kiss her.

It is also a great tool to use more generally if we struggle to hold eye contact with anyone in conversation.

To discover other ways to build attraction with women check out the below infographic, which outlines 9 invaluable techniques that attractive men use.

I recommend that you take a read of my related article here where I examine each technique and how it works in making you a more attractive man – Dating Tips For Men | Nine Psychological Tools (that attractive men use)


Nine dating tips that attractive men use


#11: Flirting With Powerful Posture


Although we may not realise it, women tend to notice us before we approach and interact with them. Therefore even before we greet them, our actions are important to any first impression.

The king of the jungle posture influences in making our charisma felt before we engage new women in conversation.

The method involves posturing with our body language by sticking out our chest; this movement acts as a nonverbal sign of dominance.

If done correctly it will trigger women to feel that they are around an attractive man with high levels of self-confidence.

This technique is best used as soon as we have seen an attractive girl that we would like to engage in conversation in any social environment.

Allowing women to feel safe and secure in your presence is a quality embodied by one of the five main male archetypes that women are attracted to.

My infographic below outlines the four other male archetypes. To learn about each of these, and how they are seductive to women, click on the following link to access my articleHow To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (with illustrations).


The 5 male archetypes that attract women


#12: Flirting With Your Voice


Taking the necessary steps to physically escalate with women to the point of kissing is wrought with potential problems.

The peripheral vision gaze allows us to slow down our dialogue. To hold strong eye contact with women which, as a direct consequence, helps us to create sexual tension.

To engage in this technique correctly we need to assign a percentage of our attention away from the girl.

We do this by using our peripheral vision, whilst maintaining her eye contact.

All we have to do is put 30% of our attention to either side of the girl using our peripheral vision. This then inhibits our ability to think as fast.

As a result:

  • We slow down our thoughts
  • Our eye contact becomes more personal
  • The energy shifts towards more intimate feelings

This principle is great in leading up to the very first kiss.

To amp up your eye contact with a woman, I have created the following infographic for you. I also suggest you read my article for more detail on how to employ this – Eye Contact Attraction | The Power Of Eye Sex (what you need to know).


Simple guide to seducing her with your eye contact in 3 steps


#13: Flirting With Women In Conversation


Controlling the frame of an interaction enables us to lead the conversation into any direction of our choosing.

The investigative journalist principle is a technique which allows us to shine the focus of any interaction firmly onto the girl, by challenging her thoughts and beliefs in conversation.

Whenever a girl offers an opinion on a topic of discussion, we respond with, “So what you’re saying is…”

The objective is to paraphrase her words like we are interviewing her for a news feature.

This principle can be used to:

  • Rephrase what she is saying in a funny way
  • To tune into the subtext of her words to connect with her at a deeper level

The aim is to offer a different type of conversation to keep the interaction fun and engaging.


#14: Flirting By Being Playful


Being able to have fun with women during our interactions shows a huge level of confidence.

This is especially true when we are amusing ourselves throughout the interaction.

The 10-word rule is a way of interrupting women in conversation to frustrate them to the point of inducing some mischievous tension into the conversation.

To implement the 10-word rule all we have to do is to interrupt what a girl is saying every 10 words.

We simply ask them an irrelevant question or disrupt their thought processes.

This technique is a way of flirting with women who we know are already attracted to us and is seen as a playful way of flirting.

This principle is best adopted when we are speaking with a girl 1-1 and we want to induce some fun energy into the interaction.


#15: How To Flirt Easily


Approaching women during the day or in a bar, for example, can be a difficult task which consumes a lot of our energy.

So it is important to relax as quickly as possible when we enter into a new conversation.

The conserving energy principle is a technique to do just that. It reminds ourselves that we have to lean against something to conserve our energy.

All we have to do is to move together to a place where we can lean against an object. To sit down to relax our posture, which:

  • Calms our nerves as well as the girl’s
  • Takes control of our body language
  • Allows us to focus more on the conversation

In essence, this principle is more of a mental ritual to remember that we need to relax.

For anyone who wants more guidance on how to recognise when a girl is attracted to you take a look at my infographic below. Click the following link to read my corresponding article – Signs She Wants You Sexually | The Ultimate Men’s Guide (top five ways)


5 signals to look out for when a woman is attracted to you


#16: How To Flirt With Power


Being physically tall is an attractive quality in men because it illuminates good genetics.

The other notable consequence of being a tall man is that women are always looking up at them in conversation.

The “looking up at me” method is when we place ourselves in a physically higher position than women so that they have to look up to us in dialogue.

It is the same reason that kings sit on a throne and judges preside over a court.

In other words, it paints a picture of them being ‘above us’ which can be powerful.

The archetypal image of power in artistic terms is almost always also conveyed via the use of stature. It appears to be inherent in our subconscious mind.

This technique is best used in any scenario where we are in dialogue with anyone where we wish to come across as confident and ‘kingly’.


#17: High-Level Flirtatious Behaviour


There are certain behaviours that are guaranteed to put women off. Behaviours that ultimately lead us to be solitary and left alone.

The going home alone technique is where we intentionally commit all of the most unattractive behaviours possible in conversation. These include signs of:

  • Jealousy
  • Negativity
  • Insecurity

This principle becomes fun when it is clear and obvious that we are not really this type of man. In fact, we are simply using the technique as a fun and intriguing role play.

It is the same way that if an attractive girl suddenly told us that no guy ever approaches her. That she can never get a date. Undoubtedly, we would know that she was joking.

This technique is best used in high octane environments such as bars, nightclubs and big social engagements.

When we are in dialogue with a girl that we think is attracted to us as a person.

For anyone who wants to read more about the different behaviours of male insecurity that put women off, take a look at the following infographic.

You can also read my full article here to learn about each trait and how to remedy itDating Coach For Men | 9 Signs Of Male Insecurity That Turn Women Off.


Nine signs of male insecurity that women find unattractive


Summary – How To Flirt With Women (The First 8 Ways)


  • #1. The Stone-Cold Eyes. Pause and get eye contact for two seconds before greeting women when you first meet them.  This allows you to make an impactful and lasting first impression.
  • #2. The Prevailing Handshake. Do not lean in towards women when you shake their hand; instead, maintain a strong posture. This allows you to sustain an attractive masculine frame from your body language.
  • #3. The High Energy Principle. Induce energy into your first meeting with women by giving them a high energy greeting. The more vigour you give, the more you are showing off a positive, uplifting and attractive vibe.
  • #4. The Slow Motion Man. Slow down your eye contact, words and body movements to showcase that you are in control.  Being relaxed around women is a great way to demonstrate confidence and initiate flirting.
  • #5. The Firing Boss Method. Sit back and relax your posture like you are a powerful boss. Taking up space when you sit down is a great way of showing off confidence to women with your body language.
  • #6. The Tongue Sucking Technique. If you speak too much, then suck your tongue and hold deeper eye contact instead. This principle allows you to demonstrate that you are calm by using the power of silence.
  • #7. The Secret Spy. Stand like you are in complete control of your surroundings and nothing can affect you. This is a great way of adopting a strong, commanding and attractive body language pose.
  • #8. The Hot Girl Walking Past. Glance over as if there is an attractive woman walking past as a way of demonstrating that you can take or leave the interaction. This creates uncertainty and instigates flirting.

Summary – How To Flirt With Women (The Next 9 Ways)


  • #9. The Date With Two Supermodels. When you first meet a girl act like you are late for a date. This conveys that you have somewhere important to be which comes across in your mannerisms, and is highly alluring.
  • #10. The Triangle Gaze. Flick your eye contact from her eyes to her mouth like an upside-down triangle. This is a fantastic way to flirt which can lead up to kissing a girl for the first time.
  • #11. The King Of The Jungle Posture. Posture with your body language like you own the establishment where you are standing.
  • #12. The Peripheral Vision Gaze. Assign a percentage of your attention away from a girl with your peripheral vision to slow down your words.
  • #13. The Investigative Journalist. Paraphrase a girl with “So what you’re saying is…” to connect in conversation. You can also misinterpret what a girl is saying on purpose as a fun way to commence flirting.
  • #14. The 10 Word Rule. Interrupt a woman in conversation to frustrate her. This induces some mischievous tension into the conversation.
  • #15. The Conserving Energy Principle. Move to an area when you can relax and lean up against something so the girl is locked in talking to you.
  • #16. The ‘Looking Up At Me’ Method. Position yourself into a position where a woman has to look up at you to get eye contact as this is symbolic of power.
  • #17. The Going Home Alone Technique. Playfully pretend that you are trying hard and desperate to highlight your confidence to women.

3 More In-Depth Ways To Flirt With Women (Part 3)


In this final section of the article, I will give you three cast-iron ways of learning how to flirt with women.

These three ways focus on being mysterious, having strong and confident eye contact and also in being playful in conversation.

I will also include some detailed examples so that you will be able to implement them straight away.


#1 – Be Mysterious In Conversation


You may have heard this before, but how do you actually become mysterious to women in a way that allows you to flirt with them?

Because it can be very easy to try and be vague and to try and avoid answering women’s questions.

However, at the same time, it can also go wrong very easily. So here is what you need to do.

If you imagine that you have 10 gold coins and every time you answer a woman’s question, you give away one of your gold coins.

Above all, think of these gold coins as your level of attraction.

So all the time you have 10 you are this super attractive guy. Every time you answer her question, you lose one of your coins.


Being a leader is a strong flirting strategy.


You will notice that if you answer women’s questions directly, you are following her lead. This subsequently makes you a follower.

Each time you do not answer her question you are:

  • Not being a follower
  • Leading the interaction
  • Conveying confidence

The more that you can become a leader in your interactions, the more attractive you will be with women.

A few years ago, two clients came to my course. They were really good friends and I taught them this strategy of not answering women’s questions.

They asked me the following inquiry: But when do you go too far? At which point do you answer that question?

Now, this is something I have been asked frequently before. And I always reply the same thing:

“Go out and try the principle. Do not believe that it won’t work or you’re not sure how to implement it. You need to get the referential experiences of doing it yourself to know where that barrier is.”

So these two guys, they went out together that evening. On the course the following day, they came in and they were laughing and laughing.

What they said is that this is the best thing they have ever learned in their life.


Being deliberately evasive conveys self-assurance.


Flirting by not answering questions is also fun as you can make them guess.

Especially when shes asks you any of the following:

  • What is your name
  • Where are you from
  • What do you do for a living

Being evasive and not answering her question is instantaneously flirting and it is so easy to implement. Simply remember not to give away your coins.

So I asked these guys, how many coins did you give away? And one of them said: “I gave away two”, and the other one said: “I didn’t give away any”. 

Upon asking how they found the process, one guy answered:

“Well, it’s really interesting because you think that eventually, the girl would become disinterested and not talk to you anymore, but it’s not the case.

The more and more I didn’t answer their questions, the more interested they became. It’s super interesting.

I ended up sitting down and being completely relaxed and these girls were just plying me with more and more questions.

That’s the first time in my whole entire life where I felt in control of a dating interaction. I felt the power women must have felt when I used to talk to them.”

This is just one of the techniques that we teach on our dating confidence courses. This specific principle allows you to have more dynamic conversations with women in all social settings.

As per the image below we can train you in how to speak to non-responsive women in bars and clubs.

To find out more about our coaching then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.


Non-responsive model next to three ways to engage her in conversation


#2 – Alpha male eye contact


The next way that you can learn how to flirt with women is with alpha male eye contact.

And what do I mean by alpha male eye contact?

There are a few things that you need to first understand before being able to implement this type of eye contact.

  • If you face your head down, that is the body language of shame
  • If you face your chin up, that is the body language of success and of confidence

So the first strategy you need to be able to implement is with your body language. You need to lift your chin slightly up and put your shoulders slightly back.

What that does, it gives off a confident air of demeanour with your body language.

Now onto your eye contact.

There are many different ways that you can hold eye contact with women. However, here, we are talking about flirting with women as soon as you meet them.

To clarify when you first get eye contact with a woman and you want to flirt with her.

The most effective way of doing this is to maintain prolonged eye contact and do not break eye contact first.


Practice refining your eye contact.


You can practise as you walk down the street each day.

Holding eye contact with people and eventually, you will have more confidence to hold and maintain eye contact with women.

Hold prolonged eye contact so you first catch a woman’s gaze and you hold her eye contact until she looks away first.

That is attractive and very flirty eye contact:

  • The way in which you can make this even more impactful is with alpha male eye contact
  • To be able to do that, all you have to do is narrow your eyes slightly

It is a small but powerful shift in your gaze. Simply close your eyes ever so slightly. Almost like you are squinting.

If you can pull the alpha eye contact when you first see a girl what you will tend to notice is that she will look away quickly.

This is because you are conveying strong signs of confidence.

What typically happens within five to 10 seconds is she will look back up at you again. This is another key indicator that you are flirting effectively with women.

If you struggle to hold eye contact with a woman then it is likely related to toxic shame. I recommend reading my article, complete with tutorial videos, to help you overcome this emotion – Toxic Shame | The Ultimate Guide (Including In-Depth Video Tutorials)

I have also created a snapshot of the information in the following infographic for you:


7 meditative techniques to help you develop yourself


#3 – Deliberate Misinterpretation


The final way that you can flirt with women is by misinterpreting what they say.

Most of us, most of the time, when we are talking to a woman that we find attractive, we tend to really listen to what she is saying and try and engage her in conversation.

Something that you can do that is really fun is just to misinterpret what she is saying.

As an example of this, I was in Budapest with one of my clients earlier this year and we were talking to some girls and one of them said:

“Oh yeah, I’ve got some cigars like that at my house.”

And my client replied: “Thanks for the invite, but I’ve only just met you.”

This is a great example of misinterpreting what someone is saying to playfully imply that she is hitting on you, or that she is trying to be flirty with you.

This is great on a night out, and particularly if you are going to try and misinterpret what women say to be funny.


Pretend that she is flirting with you.


Say you have met a girl on a night out and her name is Stacy and she is from Kent. What you can do when you introduce her to one of your friends is you can say:

“This is Tracy and she’s from Essex.”

  • You deliberately get her name wrong and the place where she is from, as a way of being flirty
  • What will happen when you get it right is there will be an injection of laughter
  • The girl may give you a little hit on the shoulder because she is being playful

You are deliberately getting her information wrong because it is funny and draws a fun engaging response.


Flirting with women is about not taking yourself too seriously.


It is very difficult when you are going through traumatic times in your life to be fun and relaxed.

We have all had times in our life where we feel stressed and try and be fun. You can’t. It can feel impossible.

By using humour you are showcasing that you are in a good place.

Consequently, if you want to get better flirting with women, all you have to do is to implement any of the above three strategies.

This is why I designed the following infographic – namely as a way to help you remember how to balance flirting with connecting in your future conversations.


Three flirting techniques balancing perfectly with three ways to connect with women.


Summary – How To Flirt With Women


  • #1. Be mysterious. Imagine that you have 10 gold coins and every time you give a gold coin away by answering her question, you lose a level of attraction. Quite simply, if you do not answer women’s questions directly, you will be flirting as soon as you meet them.
  • #2. Have alpha male eye-contact. Step one is learning how to maintain eye contact with women so that she breaks it first. Step two is to squint slightly and hold eye contact. This is a really strong and confident eye-contact to have with women.
  • #3. Deliberately misinterpret what she is saying. Do this as a way of implying that she is hitting on you. It is playful and it is fun.

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