How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Updated 2021)

How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I am going to teach you everything that you need to know about how to flirt with women.

Including:

  • Common questions I get asked about flirting with women (must know)
  • 17 different ways to flirt with women (from the outset)
  • 3 advanced ways to flirt with women (and be remembered)

I teach all of the following techniques in my dating confidence courses for men. I will go through each technique in detail so that you know when to use each principle for its biggest impact.


If you want transformational results with women, then watch our client reviews from our confidence bootcamps and book onto our next dating course. Watch them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews

dating confidence course for men


How do I flirt with a woman?


To know how to flirt with a woman, we have to first understand what the word ‘flirt’ means because most of us do not know the definition of the word flirt. It is very simple. All it means is being playful. If we imagine the iconic image of when a man and a woman meet and have a connection. The girl will be laughing and there will be flirtatious behaviour taking place.

Flirting is not:

  • A serious conversation
  • Someone trying too hard to impress a woman
  • Accentuating what he does for a living to sound better

Instead, he is being playful and he is being mischievous. So to flirt with women, all we have to do is to become:

  • Playful
  • Boisterous
  • Fun

When we exhibit these behaviours around women we are flirting. Importantly, flirting forms the first stage of creating sexual relationships with women. Once we can flirt the whole dating process becomes easier and our dating options increase.


What should I say to flirt with a girl?


It does not always come down to the actual words that we say to flirt effectively with a girl. It is more about the playful attitude that we adopt in conversation.

In my dating confidence courses, I offer different ways to learn how to flirt with women. The easiest method that I teach that – and which can be implemented immediately – is simply to not answer women’s questions. So, every time a girl asks you a question, by deliberately not answering it, you will start creating the first foundations of sexual tension. This will initiate flirting.

After you have not answered her questions a few times you will begin to see a change in her. She will recognise that you are flirting with her and that the conversation is more charged. This is fun and playful, particularly if you mix around your answers so you do not answer them directly. In the last section of this article, I go into more detail about how to effectuate this using the ten gold coins method.

First date tips

Also, when flirting with women it is helpful to have a great first date lined up in your mind as it takes away the awkwardness of raising the idea of a date to her. It makes setting up the date much easier as you can invite her along to something that you already have planned or are interested in going to.

My infographic below gives some pointers on first dates that will help you make a connection and keep the energy up. Read my first date tips article to learn more.


Three ways to flirt during a first date


How do I flirt over text with women?


There are many different ways to flirt with women over text. Although, for me, there should not be a pressing need to flirt via text because when you first meet a girl that you like, flirtatious behaviour should have already taken place. After there is mutual attraction, a connection will then be formed and a date ought to be set in both of your diaries there and then.

This way your text messaging can become more functional by confirming the date, rather than focusing on trying to flirt as this inevitably leads to validation-seeking behaviour.

I see a lot of screenshots of messages from my clients where they try and overly flirt via text message. If the woman is already into you, then the flirting should just be viewed as the vehicle to keep the conversation going a little bit longer – to keep the connection alive. Bear in mind that if she is not reciprocating the flirting, then texting is not going to do all that much. In my experience, it is better to try and organise that date when you are with the girl and then use a text message platform only to organise or confirm the date.

Text message strategies

For anyone who does want help in improving their text dialogue with women, I have created the following informative infographic guide. This highlights again how it is not always about the content of your words, but more about the playful and mischievous attitude you adopt in communicating.

To learn more read my corresponding how to text women article where I outline how to implement each technique.


11 fun and effective ways to flirt over text message


How do you flirt with women sexually?


There are three main ways that to initiate flirting with women sexually:

  • With deep and prolonged eye contact

This is generally something that women tend to initiate first with men. If you want to start flirting back, you can also hold penetrating eye contact.

  • The upside-down triangle

You flick your attention from her left eye to her right eye and then down to her mouth. This will add sexual tension to the interaction.

  • With your body language

You face your body language away from a girl when you first meet her. And then as the conversation is progressing, you turn your body language towards her as you are holding eye contact. This is a powerful and sexual body language posture – and one that we teach in our dating confidence courses. As depicted in the image below we can teach you how to flirt effectively with women and form a connection. To find out more about our tuition visit our live training page.


Model with a light behind her and three ways to connect in conversation


How do you subtly flirt with women?


Anytime where you can be playful and misinterpret what she says in a fun way will subtly initiate flirting with a woman. This is especially effective when you can generate a laugh within a group by playfully teasing her. In reality, most men will not realise when another man is flirting with a woman in their social circle. This alone should help your confidence in subtly flirting with women within groups.

Another way to subtly flirt with a woman is using one of the techniques I mentioned earlier, which is not answering her questions directly. You imperceptibly avoid answering her questions. Over time, she will pick up on what you are doing and recognise that you are flirting.

To have awareness of when a woman is flirting back with you I have created the following infographic guide. To learn more about the different body language and verbal cues a woman gives if she likes you I recommend reading my signs she’s flirting article.


15 signs a women gives you when she is flirting


How do you flirt with an older woman?


Older women tend to have greater maturity and experience with dating and therefore flirting. As a result, you can usually be more direct when flirting with an older woman. There is a reason why you will often hear the following phrases from single mature women:

  • I do not want to play games
  • I’ve had enough of game playing
  • I wish people would say what they mean

Therefore be more direct. You may not even need to flirt as much because older women tend to instinctively notice when a man is attracted to them, namely because they are more in tune with the following aspects:

  • Body language and posture
  • Eye contact
  • Vocal tonality

Therefore flirting with an older woman can often be more focused on connecting with her in conversation. In point of fact, if you are out with friends, yet are speaking to her instead, she will already know that you like her. Likewise, if she is happy spending time with you this is also a clear indicator that your interest is reciprocated.


How do you flirt with a younger woman?


Flirting with younger women is generally more about having a fun, light-hearted and playfully teasing attitude. If you are looking at flirting with a girl in her early twenties, she is likely to not be as experienced in the dating world as a woman from her thirties and forties. So you can be more playful, more fun and challenging with her.

For example, you can:

  • Avoid answering all of her questions
  • Challenge her as not being adventurous enough
  • Reflect that she is inexperienced at certain things
  • Introduce her to someone and get her name wrong on purpose
  • Accuse her of standing too close to you or touching you too much

Anything that you can do to be more playful or more outlandish is a great way of flirting with a younger woman.


How do you flirt with an ex-girlfriend?


Flirting with an ex-girlfriend is different from flirting with a woman that you have just met. You share a personal and connected history together, which gives you both intimate knowledge of one another.

One fantastic way to flirt with your ex is to deliberately misinterpret a memory that you share. As an example, let us say a funny situation happened when you were on holiday together and it was your fault. You could message or speak about it as being her fault instead. By misinterpreting the memory in this way it is playful and, moreover, it can initiate flirting. She will understand that you are flirting because she also knows the truth.

So flirting with an ex-girlfriend can be as simple as intentionally misunderstanding experiences shared. This is a playful way to get back into that flirtatious behaviour with her. For anyone who wants to try and get back together with an ex, I have created the following infographic. You can also read my how to get your ex-girlfriend back article.


5 invaluable ways to develop yourself and get back together with your ex-girlfriend


How do you flirt with a shy girl?


With shy girls, you do not want to be too over the top or full-on in your flirting. I would go as far as to say that you do not need to intently flirt with a shy woman because if she is spending time with you that is already quite a big investment from her. If you then flirt by poking fun at her or go a little too far with your words, you may damage her confidence and put her off you.

Instead, your focus should be on building up her confidence, rather than teasing aspects of her personality. Consequently, if the girl you like seems shy, I advocate that you initially minimise any boisterous playful behaviour. You could perhaps try one or two comments and see what reaction you get; whether it elicits a positive reaction from her and then go from there.

However, the fact that she is spending time with you is usually enough to start flirting naturally anyway, so you should not feel the need to necessitate it.


How do you flirt with attractive women?


Flirting with attractive women often feels more high stakes and more pressurised as we tend to get anxious around attractive women. The risk is this anxiety then causes us to be too try-hard and to fall into validation-seeking behaviour. In short, it can be difficult to flirt with attractive women because it evokes this type of behaviour in many men.

If you struggle with flirting with women, one immediate thing you can do is to stop seeking validation. What I mean by this is if she:

  • Asks you what you do for a living – do not exaggerate what you do
  • Accuses you of being judgemental – do not explain yourself
  • Challenges you in conversation – simply reply with “maybe” or “perhaps”

In my professional opinion the more non-responsive you are around attractive women, the more they will initiate flirting with you. Therefore if you cannot initiate flirting yourself, one activity within your control is to not seek validation from women. This is an invaluable rule to adhere to, not only in dating but with all of our social interactions with others.

Conversing with women

Once you have successfully flirted with a woman – after those initial few minutes of speaking – you will then need to be able to continue the conversation with her. This can be a more demanding task than it sounds as if you run out of conversational topics or the energy in the dialogue drops, it can feel hard to recover from.

I have created the following infographic as a helpful prompt to keep your conversations interesting and extended. I suggest you read my corresponding how to carry on a conversation with women article to learn more about how to implement each type of intelligence in your conversations.


3 types of intelligence to convey in your conversations with women


How to flirt with women – top 17 ways


In the following section, you will discover 17 different techniques that you can use to flirt with women. Included in this section:

  • How to flirt with women as soon as you meet them
  • Powerful body language flirting techniques
  • Flirting techniques that increase sexual tension with women

All of these techniques I teach on my dating confidence courses and you can watch the full-length course videos on YouTube here:

How To Have Confidence With Women (Part 1) | Gary Gunn | Full-Length HD

How To Have Confidence With Women (Part 2) | Gary Gunn | Full-Length HD


How to flirt with women using eye contact?


Our eye contact with women is one of the first aspects they will notice about us. When we meet a new woman we tend to have an autopilot response to either shake her hand or to kiss her on the cheek. Stone-cold eyes is a technique we can utilise before our usual autopilot responds. We simply pause for 1-2 seconds to influence eye contact with women before we greet them.

This method ensures:

  • The girl is taken off auto-pilot
  • Our presence is felt right from the start
  • We convey confidence from the outset

This technique is, in effect, saying: “I’m here and you should pay attention to me.” It can be used in a dating scenario through to work interviews and social get-togethers.

Often, if you struggle to hold eye contact with women it can be because of toxic shame. This is why I have created the below infographic as an easy guide for you to follow to help remedy this. You can also read my toxic shame article which includes tutorial videos to help you overcome this.


Easy guide to removing toxic shame


Flirting with women with your handshake


When we shake hands with women we tend to meet them halfway; so we both move our arms and greet each other in the middle. The prevailing handshake is a powerful way to show off our dynamism during an initial greeting.

We do this by moving women closer to us rather than meeting them halfway. So the moment we clasp a girl’s hand we draw her closer to us rather than keeping an equal level of distance.

When implemented correctly this technique comes across as a gracious greeting that gives off an air of confidence. As with the stone-cold eye principle, this technique is best used the first time that we meet someone new. It can also be used in tandem to create a more impactful first impression.


Flirting with high energy


A high energy introduction communicates a multitude of positive attributes within the first few seconds of meeting women. The high energy principle is a method of greeting people that sub-communicates “I’m fun and I’m going to make your time with me enjoyable.”

Putting a lot of effort into smiling and offering a warm introduction does the following:

  • It adds liveliness to the interaction
  • Conveys we have good genetics
  • Infers to her that she will have fun with us

This technique is best used at any time that we greet someone; the more energy we expend the more important we make the individual feel. Think of it as gifting them some of our vibes.

If you want to find out other ways to make a memorable impression on a girl when you first meet her, see my infographic below. This will help you create a connection with a woman in conversation. You can also read my how to speak to women article where I go into detail about how to skillfully do this.


Five ways to improve your conversations with women


How to flirt with women with your body movements?


To masterfully flirt with women using our body movements we first need to be aware of the effect that attractive women can have on us. Often we tend to feel anxious and, as a result, our adrenaline kicks in causing us to:

  • Speak faster
  • Lose our concentration
  • Speed up our movements

The slow-motion man is a technique where we intentionally slow down our movements to make a powerful impact. It is a reminder to us confirming “I’m in control here and I’m not anxious.”

If we imagine the control and poise a dancer possesses when he is leading a lady; we can replicate this by consciously slowing down our own actions when we sit down or take a sip of our drink. This technique is best employed at any time we are making a body movement. For instance, when we sit down we should retain total control of our body and not just collapse into the seat. Similarly, when we raise our glass to drink we can aim to take twice the amount of time.


Flirting with your body language


One of the biggest differences we can make to our success with women is by the way that we sit. To clarify, when we exhibit strong body language we tend to look and feel more powerful.

The firing boss method is when we imagine that we are about to sack an employee. We are focused and giving them our attention, whilst knowing that we are in complete control and about to fire them.

Adopting this mindset:

  • Allows us to sit back and take up space
  • Makes us feel more composed and relaxed
  • Enables us to have better interactions with women

We are holding back that we are about to fire them. This ensures we give off a strong air of confidence, mystery and power. This technique can be used in all contexts when we are sat down with women or in any situation that feels high-stress.

To discover other ways to convey confident body language to women during a conversation, check out my infographic below. You can also read my related how to stop being the nice guy article where I outline how to alter a woman’s impression of you as merely a ‘nice guy.’


Five ways to prevent being friend-zoned by women


How to flirt with women with your voice?


There are different ways to flirt with women using our voice and the way we speak. Indeed, when we meet an attractive woman it is normal to feel anxious and overwhelmed – which typically manifests itself with us speaking faster than usual, perhaps with a higher pitch and perhaps even rambling on.

The tongue-sucking technique can be used to take a crucial pause in the conversation. So we internally suck our own tongue for 2 seconds after a girl has spoken which prevents us from speaking. This ensures:

  • We avoid speaking impulsively
  • We consider our words when in dialogue
  • A discreet movement that gives us some control

In addition, we hold her eye contact. This will start to build sexual tension. This technique is best used after a girl has spoken about a topic for more than 10 seconds. It gives us time to take in what she has just articulated and to give a more considered response.


Flirting with your posture


It can be very easy to lose control of our body language when we are in dialogue with attractive women. If we are able to maintain a powerful posture then we come across as assured and relaxed in conversation.

The secret spy technique is when we act like we have an earpiece in. We stand in a powerful and controlled way and act as if we have the ability to take control of all events. Adopting this pose:

  • Commands respect
  • Conveys confidence
  • Helps women relax in our presence

The more composed and confident we feel on the inside the more our confidence is noticed by women in our vicinity. We can use this technique anytime we are standing and talking to anyone. It allows us to feel commanding, whilst also looking like we are in complete control of the situation.

To learn other vital ways to avoid coming across as needy with women have a look at my infographic below. I also recommend reading the full dating advice for men article where I discuss the attributes to develop in life to be an attractive man leading an attractive lifestyle.


5 ways that help you flirt with women without demonstrating neediness


Flirting with your eye movements


Often when we are attracted to women we tend to become too invested in the interaction. It is as if they are the only person in the world who matters at that moment. This means that in conversation we only look at the woman we are speaking to which can come across as too intense.

The hot girl walking past method helps us to break this intensity. We do this by looking over as if an attractive woman is walking past and we are simply glancing in her direction. The beauty of this technique is that if the girl also glances over she will see nothing there. Looking away in this manner:

  • Ensures we maintain our confidence in the interaction
  • Avoids us becoming too embroiled in a specific topic
  • Takes some of the pressure off us

The girl you are speaking to may even recognise that you decided to lead and break the intensity of the conversation.

We can use his technique when we are having an in-depth conversation with a girl and wish to break the intensity and lead the dialogue in a different direction. If you want to learn how to employ seductive eye contact in your interactions with women, we can teach you. To find out more about our training go to our live training page.


model looking at the camera with three eye contact attraction principles


Flirting with other women


When we first meet women it can be very easy to forget all of our plans for that moment. This is because, in our minds, talking to an attractive woman is far more important. The date with two supermodels technique is a great way to make us feel like we are running 5 minutes late to an engagement already. This means that any interaction we are then going to have will make us even later.

Adopting this mindset focuses us on making the most impactful impression possible and as fast as possible. It helps us to take a girl’s number quickly and with more conviction. Moreover, it reduces the initial anxiety of approaching new women as we only have to invest a limited amount of time.

This mitigates the potential to come across as desperate or try-hard where we strive to keep the conversation going longer than it naturally should. This technique can be adopted when we are meeting women during the day and want to go in with a high energy approach. It also works well if we are feeling tired.

Overcome approach anxiety

To help overcome any approach anxiety we may feel before initiating a conversation with a girl, I have created the following infographic as an easy guide. These three principles are aimed at diminishing the anxiety we can feel in our mind and in our body when we encounter an attractive woman that we wish to speak to.

I suggest also reading my overcome approach anxiety article for more detail on these principles and why they can help. It is also good to remember that approach anxiety is something that many men experience and struggle to overcome in their lives. This is why it forms a key aspect of Social Attraction’s coaching as we can give you valuable tools to arm you against letting this feeling of anxiety become overwhelming.


Simple guide to overcoming approach anxiety with women


How to flirt with women using the triangle gaze?


The triangle gaze is a powerful way to flirt with women using seductive eye contact. In reality, moving from a normal conversation to getting ready to kiss a girl often proves to be a sticking point for many of us, especially if we are feeling anxious. The hypnotic triangle is a method that lets us increase sexual tension with the woman we like, while simultaneously also keeping our anxiety levels low.

The technique involves flicking from holding her left eye in focus, to her right eye, and then finally to her mouth. We keep this rotation going until we feel the sexual tension increasing. The best part of this principle is that from a girl’s perspective, we are holding much stronger eye contact with her than most men that she meets on a day-to-day basis.

The ideal time to use this principle is when you like a girl and would like to increase the sexual tension between both of you before you kiss her. It is also a great tool to use more generally if we struggle to hold eye contact with anyone in conversation.

Attraction-building principles

To discover other ways to build attraction with women check out my infographic below. This outlines nine techniques that attractive men use in their interactions with women.

If you want to learn more about these techniques you can also read my dating tips for men article where I examine each technique and how it works in making you a more attractive man.


Nine dating tips that attractive men use


Flirting with a powerful posture


Although we may not realise it, women tend to notice us before we approach and interact with them. Therefore even before we greet them, our actions are important to any first impression.

The king of the jungle posture influences in making our charisma felt before we engage new women in conversation. The method involves posturing with our body language by sticking out our chest; this movement acts as a nonverbal sign of dominance. If done correctly it will trigger women to feel that they are around an attractive man with high levels of self-confidence.

This technique is best used as soon as we have seen an attractive girl that we would like to engage in conversation in any social environment. Indeed, allowing women to feel safe and secure in our presence is a quality embodied by one of the five main male archetypes that women are attracted to. My infographic below outlines the four other attractive male archetypes. To learn about each of these – and how they are seductive to women – read my how to seduce women article.


The 5 male archetypes that attract women


Flirting with your voice


Taking the necessary steps to physically escalate with women to the point of kissing is wrought with potential problems. The peripheral vision gaze allows us to slow down our dialogue and flirt using the pace of our voice. In conjunction with holding strong eye contact with a woman, this will create sexual tension.

To engage in this technique correctly we need to assign a percentage of our attention away from the girl. We do this by using our peripheral vision, whilst maintaining her eye contact. All we have to do is put 30% of our attention to either side of the girl using our peripheral vision.

As a result:

  • We slow down our thoughts and words
  • Our eye contact becomes more personal
  • The energy shifts towards more intimate feelings

This principle is great in leading up to the very first kiss. To amp up your eye contact with a woman, I have created the following infographic for you. Read my eye contact attraction article for more detail on how to employ this.


Simple guide to seducing her with your eye contact in 3 steps


Flirting with women in conversation


Controlling the frame of an interaction enables us to lead the conversation in any direction of our choosing. The investigative journalist principle is a flirting technique that allows us to shine the focus of any interaction firmly onto the girl, by challenging her thoughts and beliefs in conversation.

Whenever a girl offers an opinion on a topic of discussion, we respond with, “So what you’re saying is…” The objective is to paraphrase her words like we are interviewing her for a news feature.

This principle can be used to:

  • Rephrase what she is saying in a funny way
  • To tune into the subtext of her words to connect more deeply

The aim is to offer a different type of conversation to keep the interaction fun, flirtatious and engaging.


Flirting by being playful


Being playful with women during our interactions shows a huge level of confidence. This is especially true when we are also amusing ourselves throughout the interaction.

The 10-word rule is a way of interrupting women in conversation to frustrate them to the point of inducing some mischievous tension into the conversation. To implement the 10-word rule all we have to do is to interrupt what a girl is saying every 10 words. We simply ask them an irrelevant question or disrupt their thought processes.

This technique is a way of flirting with a woman that who is already attracted to us and is seen as a playful way of flirting. This principle is best adopted when we are speaking with a girl 1-1 and we want to induce some fun energy into the interaction.


How to flirt easily?


Our ability to flirt is dependant on our confidence and mindset at the moment. Approaching women during the day or in a bar, for example, can be a difficult task that consumes a lot of our energy. So it is important to relax as quickly as possible when we enter into a new conversation.

The conserving energy principle is a technique to do just that. It reminds us that we have to lean against something to conserve our energy. All we have to do is to move together to a place where we can lean against an object. To sit down to relax our posture, which:

  • Calms our nerves as well as the girl’s
  • Takes control of our body language
  • Allows us to focus more on the conversation

In essence, this principle is more of a mental ritual to remember that we need to relax.

For anyone who wants more guidance on how to recognise when a girl is attracted and flirting back in conversation read my signs she wants you sexually article. Here is a brief overview:


5 signals to look out for when a woman is attracted to you


How to flirt with power?


Being physically tall is an attractive quality in men because it illuminates good genetics. The other notable consequence of being a tall man is that women are always looking up at them in conversation.

The ‘looking up at me’ method is when we place ourselves in a physically higher position than women so that they have to look up to us in dialogue. It is the same reason that kings sit on a throne and judges preside over a court. In other words, it paints a picture of them being ‘above us’ which can be powerful. The archetypal image of power in artistic terms is almost always also conveyed via the use of stature. It appears to be inherent in our subconscious mind.

This technique is best used in any scenario where we are in dialogue with anyone and wish to be viewed as confident and ‘kingly’.


High-level flirtatious behaviour


One impactful way to use high-level flirtatious behaviour is to intentionally exhibit unattractive behaviours with women. Remember there are certain behaviours that are guaranteed to put women off – behaviours that ultimately lead us to be solitary and left alone. The going home alone technique is where we intentionally commit all of the most unattractive behaviours possible in conversation.

These include signs of:

  • Jealousy
  • Negativity
  • Insecurity

This principle becomes fun when it is obvious that we are not really this type of man. In fact, we are simply using the technique as a fun and intriguing role play. It is the same way that if an attractive girl suddenly told us that no guy ever approaches her and that she can never get a date. Undoubtedly, we would know that she was joking.

This technique is best used in high octane environments such as bars, nightclubs and big social engagements. Particularly when we are in dialogue with a girl that we think is attracted to us as a person.

Signs of insecurity

For anyone who wants to read more about the different behaviours of male insecurity that put women off, take a look at the following infographic guide.

You can also read my dating coach for men article to learn about each trait and how to remedy it.


Nine signs of male insecurity that women find unattractive


Summary – The first 8 ways


  • The Stone-Cold Eyes. Pause and get eye contact for two seconds before greeting women when you first meet them. You will make an impactful and lasting first impression.
  • The Prevailing Handshake. Do not lean in towards women when you shake their hand; instead, maintain a strong posture. This allows you to sustain an attractive masculine frame from your body language.
  • The High Energy Principle. Induce energy into your first meeting with women by giving them a high energy greeting. The more vigour you give, the more you are transmitting a positive, uplifting and attractive vibe.
  • The Slow Motion Man. Slow down your eye contact, words and body movements to show that you are in control. Being relaxed around women is a great way to demonstrate confidence and initiate flirting.
  • The Firing Boss Method. Sit back and relax your posture like you are a powerful boss. Taking up space when you sit down is a great way of demonstrating confidence to women with your body language.
  • The Tongue Sucking Technique. If you speak too much, then suck your tongue and hold deeper eye contact instead. This principle shows that you are calm by using the power of silence.
  • The Secret Spy. Stand like you are in complete control of your surroundings and nothing can affect you. This is a great way of adopting a strong, commanding and attractive body language pose.
  • The Hot Girl Walking Past. Glance over as if there is an attractive woman walking past as a way of indicating that you can take or leave the interaction. This creates uncertainty and instigates flirting.

Summary – The next 9 ways


  • The Date With Two Supermodels. When you first meet a girl act like you are already late for a date. This conveys that you have somewhere important to be which comes across in your mannerisms and is highly alluring.
  • The Triangle Gaze. Flick your eye contact from her eyes to her mouth like an upside-down triangle. This is a fantastic way to flirt which can lead up to kissing a girl for the first time.
  • The King Of The Jungle Posture. Posture with your body language like you own the establishment that you are standing in.
  • The Peripheral Vision Gaze. Assign a percentage of your attention away from a girl with your peripheral vision to slow down your words.
  • The Investigative Journalist. Paraphrase a girl with “So what you’re saying is…” to connect in conversation. You can also misinterpret what a girl is saying on purpose as a fun way to commence flirting.
  • The 10 Word Rule. Interrupt a woman in conversation to frustrate her. This induces some mischievous tension in the conversation.
  • The Conserving Energy Principle. Move to an area when you can relax and lean up against something so the girl is locked in talking to you.
  • The ‘Looking Up At Me’ Method. Position yourself into a position where a woman has to look up at you to get eye contact as this is symbolic of power.
  • The Going Home Alone Technique. Playfully pretend that you are trying hard and desperate to highlight your confidence to women.

3 Advanced ways to flirt with women


In this final section of the article, I will give you three cast-iron ways of learning how to flirt with women. These three ways focus on being mysterious, having strong and confident eye contact, and being playful in conversation.

Additionally, I have included some detailed examples so that you will be able to implement them straight away.


Be mysterious in conversation


You may have heard of the power of being mysterious in conversation, but how do you actually become mysterious to women in a way that is flirtatious? Because it can be easy to be vague and to try and avoid answering women’s questions. Yet, at the same time, it can easily go wrong.

A helpful strategy is to imagine that you have 10 gold coins and every time you answer a woman’s question, you give away one of your gold coins. Above all, think of these gold coins as your level of attraction. So all the time you have 10 you are this super attractive guy. And every time you answer her question, you lose one of your coins, thus diminishing your level of attractiveness.

Be a leader

You will notice that if you answer women’s questions directly, you are following her lead. This subsequently makes you a follower. Each time you do not answer her question you are:

  • Not being a follower
  • Conveying confidence
  • Leading the interaction

The more that you can become a leader in your interactions, the more attractive you will be with women.

A few years ago, two clients came to my course who were good friends. I taught them this strategy of not answering women’s questions. They asked me the following inquiry: But when do you go too far? At what point do you answer that question?

This is something I have been asked before and I always reply along the same lines: “Go out and try the principle. Do not believe that it won’t work or you’re not sure how to implement it. You need to get the referential experiences of doing it yourself to know where that barrier is.” So these two guys went out together that evening. On the course the following day, they came in full of high spirits and laughing and both said this is the best thing they have ever learned in their life.

Flirting by not answering questions is fun as you can make a woman take a guess, especially when she asks you any of the following:

  • What is your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do for a living?

Be deliberately evasive

Being evasive and not answering her question conveys confidence and is instantaneously flirting. Moreover, it is so easy to implement. Simply remember not to give away your coins. I asked the guys how many coins they gave away? And one of them said: “I gave away two” and the other one said: “I didn’t give away any.”

Upon asking how they found the process, one guy answered: “Well, it’s really interesting because you think that eventually, the girl would become disinterested and not talk to you anymore, but it’s not the case. The more  I avoided answering their questions, the more interested they became. I ended up sitting down and being completely relaxed and these girls were just plying me with more and more questions. That’s the first time in my life where I felt in control of a dating interaction. I felt the power women must have felt when I used to talk to them.”

This is just one of the techniques that we teach in our dating confidence courses. This specific principle allows you to have more dynamic conversations with women in all social settings. As per the image below we can teach you how to speak to non-responsive women (including in bars and clubs), and elicit positive engagement from them. To find out more about our coaching, visit our Social Attraction live training page.


Non-responsive model next to three ways to engage her in conversation


Alpha male eye contact


Alpha male eye contact is another method to initiate flirting with women. However, there are a few things that you need to be aware of before being able to implement this type of eye contact.

  • Facing your head down is the body language of shame
  • Facing your chin up is the body language of success and confidence

Consequently, the first strategy you need to be able to implement is with your body language. You need to lift your chin slightly up and put your shoulders slightly back. This importantly gives off a confident air of demeanour.

You can then start thinking about your eye contact. Now there are many different ways to hold eye contact with women, however, in this article, we are focused on flirting with women as soon as you meet them. The most effective way of doing this is to maintain prolonged eye contact and to not break eye contact first.

Refining your eye contact

You can practise holding eye contact as you walk down the street each day. Eventually, you will have more confidence to hold and maintain eye contact with women. So hold prolonged eye contact so you first catch a woman’s gaze and you hold her eye contact until she looks away first. That is an attractive and flirty form of eye contact.

To make this even more impactful use alpha male eye contact. All you have to do is narrow your eyes slightly. It is a small but powerful shift in your gaze. Simply close your eyes ever so slightly – almost like you are squinting.

If you can pull the alpha eye contact when you first see a girl you may notice she will look away quickly. This is because you are conveying strong signs of confidence. What typically happens within five to 10 seconds is she will look back up at you again. This is a key indicator that you are flirting effectively with women.

Struggling to hold eye contact

If you are someone who struggles to hold eye contact with a woman a common cause may be toxic shame. I recommend reading my complete meditation article complete with tutorial videos, to help you overcome this emotion. This will also provide you with key meditative practices that will influence you to be a more attractive man.

You will find a snapshot of the information in the below infographic. Take particular note of the emotional clearance exercise.


7 meditative techniques to help you develop yourself


Deliberate misinterpretation


The final way that to flirt with women is by misinterpreting what they say. Most of the time, most of the time, when talking to a woman that we find attractive, we tend to listen to her words and focus on engaging her in conversation. However, it can be fun to misinterpret what she is saying on purpose.

Examples of misinterpretation

As an example of this, I was in Budapest with one of my clients earlier this year. We were talking to some girls and one of them said: “Oh yeah, I’ve got some cigars like that at my house.” My client immediately replied: “Thanks for the invite, but I’ve only just met you.”

This is a great example of misinterpreting what a woman is saying to playfully imply that she is hitting on you or trying to be flirty with you. By using humour you are also showcasing that you are fun to spend time with. This is hugely entertaining on a night out, particularly if you misinterpret what women say to be funny and elicit a laugh from others.

Another example of misinterpreting a girl you have just met on a night out is getting her name wrong. Say her name is Stacy and she is from Kent. When you introduce her to one of your friends you can say: “This is Tracy and she’s from Essex.” 

When you get it right the girl:

  • Will laugh out loud
  • May playfully hit you
  • Call you out on it

Consequently, to get better at flirting with women, all you have to do is to implement any of the above strategies.


Summary – The advanced techniques


  • Be mysterious. Imagine that you have 10 gold coins and every time you give a gold coin away by answering her question, you lose a level of attractiveness. Quite simply, if you do not answer women’s questions directly, you will be flirting as soon as you meet them.
  • Have alpha male eye contact. Step one is learning how to maintain eye contact with women so that she breaks it first. Step two is to squint slightly and hold eye contact. This is a strong and confident eye contact to have with women.
  • Deliberately misinterpret what she is saying. Do this as a way of implying that she is hitting on you. It is playful and fun.

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