How To Get A Girl To Kiss You | The Definitive Guide (Top 5 Ways)

How To Get A Girl To Kiss You | The Definitive Guide (Top 5 Ways)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

How to get a girl to kiss you. This is a really big sticking point for a lot of men.

If you think about it, when you first meet a woman that you like, there are multiple times during that interaction where you may be rejected.

So you have the initial first words where you might get rejected, and a lot of guys struggle at this point.

You then have the phase where you are exchanging details and organising to see each other again. That again can be a sticking point and is often an area where a lot of guys seek advice online.

Another main one is the very first kiss with a girl that you like.

Personally, I think it is a great idea if you can set up the type of environment in your life where the girl that you like. The girl that you would like to date and get together with, is the one that makes the move to kiss you.

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Use Empathy to attract

For you to be able to do that, you have to think about it from a girl’s perspective. But also from your own perspective.

So really, when you are going to kiss a girl, that is a chance where you may be rejected.

What if you knew 100% for certain, that you were not going to be rejected?

Because the girl that you are with would like to take your relationship to the next phase. That would give you a lot more confidence and competence in actually taking the next steps.

It works the same way when you are looking at allowing a girl to take the first steps to kiss you. You want to give her some go-ahead signals that it is absolutely fine.

Set up the right environment

There are a few ways in which you can do that. First of all, you can set up the right environment.

So you end up in a situation where it is a dimly lit room with nice lighting. A nice warm environment where you are both feeling relaxed. Try ad sit near each other so that it is easy for a kiss to take place.

And then there are a few different ways of actually taking the steps to make that kiss happen.

The first one is to just stop speaking and hold deep and prolonged eye contact. You move slightly closer, about 80% of the way towards the girl.

Then you are waiting for her to make the final 20% towards you.

Slow down your voice

So you are making it clear that you would like to progress the relationship.

You move closer to her and hold eye contact to give her a very strong go-ahead signal that she won’t be rejected if she goes ahead and kisses you. That is a really great way of ensuring the girl has the confidence to kiss you.

I do understand that this may be difficult to carry out. Especially if you are very anxious around this girl because you find her ultra attractive.

Therefore, there is also a fun game that you can play – which is something I teach in my live training courses.

I am just going to give you the bare bones of the game so that you can practise it in that scenario. To make it very easy to progress a relationship with women.

Play a fun game to lighten the mood

That moment where you first kiss someone that you like is a big moment as far as the relationship goes.

You don’t want to make a mistake at that phase. So here is another way in which you can allow a girl to kiss you in a really comfortable and warm way, so that she enjoys the process rather than feeling like you are leaning in and trying too hard.

It is a fun game based on asking each other questions.

There are just three rules:

  • The first rule number is that we take turns to ask each other a question.
  • You have to be honest with your answer, which is rule number two.
  • Rule number three is that you can’t ask the same question back.

You can mix up the game with questions like:

“what’s your favourite book?” or “what’s your favourite childhood experience?”

The more you get to know each other, you can progress the game and you can ask more varied questions such as:

“Out of 10 how much would you like me to kiss you right now?”

The time to ask that question is when the game has progressed and you can feel that there is a connection with the girl that you like.

Allow the tension to build

This is a fun game that you can play to get to know each other. To build up to that moment that allows a girl to kiss you first.

You can also make it a philosophical game because you can say let’s ask each other questions, however, you can only answer it with a one-word answer.

All of these different ways serve as fun ways of getting to know each other because, after all, dating should be fun.


  • Think about the environment, where you want to set up a nice warm situation when it can occur naturally.
  • Lean in whilst holding eye contact 80% of the way and allow the girl to take the final 20%. that’s a really good go-ahead signal.
  • Consider the different games that you can play. This will allow a girl to feel comfortable enough with taking the first steps towards kissing you.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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