How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways)
How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways)
How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways)
How to get back into dating. In this episode, I’m going to give you my ultimate guide, which is the top 15 ways that you can use immediately that will help you get back into dating. Now, if you’ve been single for a while, this list will offer you a step-by-step way to help you to get back into dating.
If you are recently single, there are some ideas in this episode that will allow you to rethink your dating strategy and start to meet and attract different women that you’re not currently meeting in your life. Let’s begin.
How to get back into dating #1 – set a dating goal.
Now, what do I mean by setting a dating goal? I mean, you take a pen and paper and you write out exactly what you want from your life. There are multiple reasons why this is good for you. First of all, it will stop you focusing on your past and it will allow you to let go of what’s happened to you previously.
Secondly, it will illuminate your future. You can really think about the types of women, or the specific woman, that you would like to meet, attract, and date in your life. The more specific you can be with your dating goal, the easier it will be to implement some of the other lessons from this episode.
How to get back into dating #2 – online dating.
Now, there are a few parameters that are put into place. I’ve recorded a few episodes on the best online dating photos to use, so you can listen to that if you’d like more guidance. But ideally, when you’re online dating, there are a few boundaries that you should put into place that will make it easier for you.
The first one is to only online date for an hour a day. If you do any more than that, it will start taking over your whole life. So having a strong boundary where you say, “Between say 7:00 PM to 8:00 PM I’m going to online date. I’ll reply to as many messages and send as many as I want to in that hour, but after that, I will log off and I won’t look again until tomorrow.”
There are multiple reasons why this is good for you, such as the fact that you won’t be so readily available, you don’t have to download the dating app, which will be permanently beeping and it will just take over your whole life. So when you are online dating, make sure you limit yourself to one hour per day.
How to get back into dating #3 – speed dating.
Now, this is really easy. All you have to do is log online, type in speed dating and the area where you live, and book yourself on to one event a week. There is a method of going weekly. It puts something in your calendar; it allows you to get dressed up, it allows you to get excited, and you never know who you’re going to meet a speed dating event.
I would also say that while you’re there, it’s a perfect opportunity to also meet other guys there who are single and perhaps they know more about getting back into dating, perhaps there are some other single events that you can go to together. So speed dating is a really great way of not only meeting women but also meeting a potential new friendship group.
How to get back into dating #4 – take a dating confidence course.
As you know, my company, Social Attraction, runs dating confidence courses. Now, these are there to help you overcome your fear of approaching women, to give you more confidence with women, as well as 1-1 Skype coaching sessions alongside my female coaching assistants that you can record and keep after the session. The final thing that you get from Social Attraction training is a friendship group. We have a secret community on Facebook of all of my clients, and what this enables you to do is to instantly have a new friendship group – people who are similar to you, people who are single and people who are active in the dating world, and that is a really important part of your life.
You should be finding people who are further down the line than you. Find role models who are single, who are active in their dating life, and find out what they’re doing and how they’re doing it. What that will do is inspire you to go out and take control of your dating life.
How to get back into dating #5 – reconnect with old flames.
Whether it’s through work or friendship groups that you met your previous partner and perhaps nowadays they are also single. It really depends how long you’ve been in a relationship. But this could be an important aspect of your life because perhaps you broke up with someone amicably many years ago because their career was going in a different direction to yours for example? But now you’re single and you’re looking at getting back into dating – and they could be a perfect match for you at this stage of your life.
With social media, it’s very easy. All you have to do is look online, send a friend request or follow someone, and you’ll be able to know very quickly whether they are also single. If they are, you can reconnect with them, perhaps organise to meet up for a coffee or a drink. But ideally reconnecting with old flames is a really good way to aid your confidence when you’re getting back into dating.
How to get back into dating #6 – meet women during your day-to-day life.
Now, what do I mean by this? I mean that as you’re going around, doing what it is that you normally do throughout your day when you see attractive women then simply go over there and start a conversation. If you think about today only, how many attractive women have you seen that – if you had the confidence – you would have approached and engaged in conversation? Being able to do this would not only instantly give you much more dating confidence, but also offer a bigger dating pool of women that you can attract and date.
Really this begins with having the confidence to go and talk to a woman. I have done multiple episodes on how to overcome your fear of approach anxiety and how to overcome your fear of approaching women which you may find helpful. For more information on our upcoming courses then click this link.
How to get back into dating #7 – take a singles holiday
Again, this is very simple. You just log online, type in singles holidays, find somewhere in the world that you’ve always wanted to go to, and book onto a singles holiday there. You can look at their reviews online, but ideally just cementing something in your diary where you get to go on holiday with the potential of meeting other people is very exciting.
While you’re there, you can also think about what it is that you want from your dating life, because being away from the monotony of day-to-day living helps provide you with a different perspective. It also gives you valuable respite from life and work. There are multiple companies that offer single holidays, so just go online and book one.
How to get back into dating #8 – go on a bar crawl.
Ok so this may sound a bit left field, but the reason why bar crawls are great is that typically speaking, you get travellers from all over the world who go on bar crawls in the city that you’re in. What happens is because these people are by themselves, what you’ll find is that they’re very receptive to talking to you and engaging you in conversation and spending time together.
Additionally, when you’re on a bar crawl, you’re together for a set period of time, so there will be multiple opportunities to interact with the women there. There will also be multiple opportunities to get to know the guys there. But when you go on a bar crawl, it’s exciting – you get dressed up, you get to meet people from all over the world. That’s another great way of getting back into dating.
How to get back into dating #9 – take a holiday and stay in a hostel.
If you’d have said that to me 10 years ago, I’d have said, “You’re being ridiculous. I don’t want to stay at a hostel. I’ll stay in a hotel. It’s much, much nicer.” However the thing is when you stay in a hostel, often you’re by yourself, as are all of the other travellers. What you then find is that this is a valuable opportunity to really connect with people.
Also, hostels know what’s going on in the city that you’re staying in, so all of a sudden you’ll be going into a new city, you’ll be meeting people in your hostel, there will be loads of events that they put on for you. It’s a great opportunity to meet a different type of woman with a different type of culture, and that allows you to really get back into dating easily and in a fun way.
How to get back into dating #10 – join a new gym.
Now, you may already train at the gym. However, by changing a gym, it is a new experience. You’re now single. You’re now actively dating, so when you join a new gym you can become more sociable, you can talk to more people, you can become a new person. Changing a gym is a really effective way of energising yourself and also kick-starting your confidence.
If you’re not training at all, then this is also a really good way to build your confidence and to assist you in feeling better about dating women.
How to get back into dating #11 – join a new social club, doing something that you love.
It can be a book reading club, it can be a salsa dance lesson, it can be a sculpting class. It really doesn’t matter what it is. The key here is that an attractive man who leads an attractive lifestyle does things that he loves and he enjoys with his spare time. So simply by booking onto a social club, you are likely to meet other people there that have similar hobbies.
Now, with meeting these other people, there are two options. Perhaps they’re single themselves and it can work out, or maybe they will have friends and they can say to you, “Oh, you should meet my friend. She’s also single.” Doing something that you love in your spare time is a really great way of getting back into the dating game.
How to get back into dating #12 – find a wingman who is already confident with women.
There are multiple ways of finding wingmen such as going on nights out or bar crawls or social events. Find someone who is socially aware, someone with social intelligence, who’s actively single and also looking at going out and meeting more women.
If you can hang out with someone like this, what this enables you to do is to learn from that person as a role model, but also to get some more dates in your diary where you’re going out and actively meeting new people. One of the best things about Social Attraction is we have a big group of previous clients who are available to come out to be your role model and to help and assist you in getting back into the dating game.
How to get back into dating #13 – start reading blogs and books with modern dating advice.
I can also add in listening to dating podcasts like my one – The Gary Gunn Show. Ideally, what you’d like to know is what’s going on in the dating world, where do single people go, what are the mechanics of dating nowadays, and what other common pitfalls and mistakes that people make when they’re trying to get back into dating.
Simply by reading books, reading blogs, and listening to podcasts, watching videos, you’ll start to bring your dating life to life because you become more aware of what’s socially acceptable in the dating scene nowadays.
How to get back into dating #14 – ask friends if they know any single women.
This actually is a really effective way of doing it. The reason why I say that is because there’s already trust. There is already a connection with your friend, so if they happen to know anyone single, they are more than likely going to be able to give you a really good introduction.
When we have a great introduction to a girl, it’s so much easier to organise a date because there’s already trust there. You can literally save yourself hours upon hours of getting to know someone just by asking your friends if they have any single friends that you think might be suitable.
How to get back into dating #15 – become a local dog walker.
Now, why would you want to do that? First of all, if you like dogs, there are many apps nowadays where you can register to be a dog walker in your spare time. Guess what happens when you take dogs out for walks? Everyone will want to come and talk to you. I’m a big dog lover anyway, but simply by being a dog walker, what will happen?
It will be active, you’ll be out and about more, but people (including women) will come up to you and start a conversation with you. That is an excellent way to get back into dating because it’s a low-level investment and fun. You’re simply going out and walking a dog and you’re letting other people do the work for you.
How to get back into dating – FAQ’s
How do I get back into dating after years of being single?
I’ve given you a step-by-step methodology in this episode. I also understand that in being single for many years, it can be extremely difficult to have the confidence to get back into dating. What I would advise you do is take it step by step. Take out a pen and paper and write out what you would like from your dating life.
The smaller you make that initial investment, the more likely you are to follow through on it. Once you’ve done that, it’s then“Okay, what’s next? What can I then work on?” When you take that next step, what happens is your self-efficacy begins to grow, and when you take it one step at a time, your confidence will also be raised. What that allows you to do is just step by step get back into the dating scene.
As I alluded to earlier, another thing that you can do if you wanted to kickstart that process, is to attend one of our dating confidence courses or Skype video course as that will really assist your confidence, especially with talking to women – you can schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me here to find out more.
How long after a relationship should you start dating again?
If that relationship is officially, then in my experience it should be as soon as possible as what are you waiting for? If you think about that logically, you want to be going out and meeting new people and actively having a better social and dating life sooner rather than later.
I’m not saying that the new women that you’re going to be meeting will be longterm relationships from the start, but what I am saying is there is no value in staying single if you want to get back into the dating game. If you are looking at getting back into dating, you should be doing it immediately.
However – if you feel that you are still not ready to start dating again and you need help in processing that period of your life then this meditation practice will help you in regaining your emotional control.
How do I start dating?
This one’s simple and it’s fun – start dating. You literally just need to switch your attention and focus into what is it you want from your dating life and what women would you like to meet. Once you’ve worked that out then comes the fun aspect. You can then go out and start dating different types of women, enjoy different types of conversations, and you can start deciding who are the type of people I’d like to attract into my life and who is the type of girl or the exact woman that I would like to date longterm?
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