How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways)

How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will give you my ultimate guide on how to get back into dating.

This outlines the top 15 ways that you can use immediately that will help you get back into dating:

  • If you have been single for a while, this list will offer you a step-by-step manual to help you comfortably develop your confidence to date again
  • For those who are recently single, you will find some ideas that will help you rethink your dating strategy to meet and attract different women
  • And in the final section, you will find some FAQs that will also prove invaluable to anyone who has not dated in a while

How To Get Back Into Dating #1 – Set A Dating Goal

What do I mean by setting a dating goal?

I mean, you take a pen and paper and you write out exactly what you want from your life.

There are multiple reasons why this is good for you:

  • It stops you from focusing on your past
  • Allows you to let go of what has happened to you previously
  • It serves to illuminate your future

You can then really think about the types of women, or the specific woman, that you would like to meet, attract, and date in your life.

The more specific you can be with your dating goal, the easier it will be to implement some of the other lessons from this article.

It will also help you ensure that you frame any new relationship the right way from the start.

My infographic below outlines 3 invaluable ways to help you do this. My related article goes into each of the three ways in more detail. Just click on this link to access it – Healthy Boundaries With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 3 Ways).

3 ways to embed healthy boundaries in your dating life

How To Get Back Into Dating #2 – Online Dating

First and foremost, for anyone who wants some guidance on what pictures they should use for their online dating profile, I have recorded a few podcast episodes on the best online dating photos to use.

You can also refer to my infographic directly below, which gives you some immediate help in taking effective online photographs.

With online dating, it is really important that you put a few boundaries into place that will make it easier for you.

  • The first one is to only online date for an hour a day
  • If you do any more than that, it will start taking over your whole life

So have a strong boundary where you say for example:

“Between say 7:00 PM to 8:00 PM I’m going to online date. I’ll reply to as many messages and send as many as I want to in that hour. But after that, I will log off and I won’t look again until tomorrow.”

Also remember you do not have to download the dating app, as it will be permanently beeping. This is both irritating and inconvenient.

Instead, having a set boundary or time limit with online dating will achieve the following:

  • A healthier mental well-being
  • Means you won’t be so readily available
  • Women will wonder why you are not replying instantaneously

Above all, this will help build mystery and attraction with the women that you are messaging.

If you want further detail on the advice given in the below infographic then read my articleThe Best Online Dating Photos To Use | Top Three Images

A guide to attaining 3 ideal online dating photos

How To Get Back Into Dating #3 – Speed Dating

All you have to do is log online, type in speed dating and the area where you live, and book yourself on to one event a week. It is that simple.

There is a method of going weekly to a speed dating event:

  • It puts something in your calendar
  • Allows you to get dressed up
  • You never know who you will meet

Another added bonus is that it is a perfect opportunity to also meet other guys there who are single.

Guys who perhaps will know more about getting back into dating. There may also be other single events that you can go to together to meet women.

So speed dating is a really great way of not only meeting women but also meeting a potential new friendship group.

How To Get Back Into Dating #4 – Take A Dating Confidence Course

My company, Social Attraction, runs dating confidence courses. These courses are designed to help you overcome your fear of approaching and communicating with women.

We host classroom-based teaching, as well as offer 1-1 Skype coaching sessions that start from £99, alongside my female coaching assistants to help build your confidence with women.

You should also be finding people who are further down the line than you. Find role models who are single, who are active in their dating life:

  • Find out what they are doing and how they are doing it
  • What that will do is inspire you to go out and take control of your dating life

This is a really important part of your confidence in life.

For example, as per the image below, we can coach you how to connect with women.

To find out more about our coaching then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model with a light behind her and three ways to connect in conversation

How To Get Back Into Dating #5 – Reconnect With Old Flames

It may have been through work or friendship groups that you met a previous partner. Time has passed and perhaps nowadays they are also single.

Interestingly, this could prove to be a decisive aspect of your life.

Perhaps you broke up with someone amicably years ago because their career was going in a different direction to yours for example.

But now you are single. You are looking at getting back into dating – and they could be a perfect match for you at this stage of your life.

It really depends how long you were in a relationship for and the terms on which that relationship ended.

With social media, it is very easy to get back into contact with people. All you have to do is:

  • Look online
  • Send a friend request
  • Follow someone.

You will be able to establish very quickly whether they are single or in a relationship.

If they are single, you can reconnect with them. Perhaps organise to meet up for a coffee or a drink.

In principle reconnecting with old flames can be a good way to aid your confidence when you are getting back into dating.

For anyone wanting to get back together with their previous partner, below is a useful infographic that outlines ways to help you get your ex-girlfriend back.

I would also suggest you read my articleHow To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (Fast) | A Step-By-Step Guide

How to get back into dating by getting your ex girlfriend back

How To Get Back Into Dating #6 – Meet Women During Your Day-To-Day Life

What do I mean by this?

I mean that as you go about your day, doing what it is that you normally do when you see attractive women, then simply go over there and start a conversation.

If you take a moment to consider just today –  how many attractive women have you seen that you would have approached and engaged in conversation?

That is if you had the confidence.

Being able to walk over and speak to women:

  • Would instantly give you more confidence
  • Offers a bigger dating pool of women that you can attract and date

This all begins with having the confidence to go and talk to a woman.

I have written several articles on how to overcome the fear of approaching women. Here is one such article that you may find helpful – Beat The Fear Of Approaching Women | Overcome Your Anxiety (forever)

You can also take a look at my related infographic here:

3 suggestions to overcome approach anxiety in meeting new women

How To Get Back Into Dating #7 – Take A Singles Holiday

Very simply you log online, type in singles holidays, and find somewhere in the world that you have always wanted to visit.

Then book onto a singles holiday then and there.

In doing this you are cementing something in your diary where you get to go on holiday with the potential of meeting other people.

This is very exciting.

Furthermore, while you are there:

  • You can think about what it is that you want from your dating life
  • It will provide you with a different perspective from the monotony of day-to-day living
  • You will have a valuable respite from life and work

There are multiple companies that offer single holidays and where you can check their reviews. So just go online and book one.

How To Get Back Into Dating #8 – Go On A Bar Crawl

This may sound a bit left field.

However, the reason why bar crawls are great is that travellers from all over the world will go on bar crawls in the city that you are in.

And often these people travel by themselves, so what you will find is that they are very receptive to talking and engaging you in conversation and spending time together.

Additionally, when you are on a bar crawl, you are together for a set period of time.

This means there will be multiple opportunities to interact with the women there, as well as getting to know the guys there.

Above all, when you go on a bar crawl:

  • You get dressed up
  • Everyone has the same sociable vibe
  • You get to meet people from all over the world

This is another great way of getting back into dating.

To recognise when a girl is flirting with you, whether it is on a bar crawl or any other scenario, take a look at my handy infographic underneath.

I also suggest you read my related article to make sure you don’t miss out on recognising any go-ahead signals from a girl – Signs She Wants You Sexually | The Ultimate Men’s Guide (top five ways)

5 signals to look out for when a woman is attracted to you

How To Get Back Into Dating #9 – Take A Holiday And Stay In A Hostel

If this was suggested to me 10 years ago, I would have replied:

“You’re being ridiculous. I don’t want to stay at a hostel. I’ll stay in a hotel. It’s much, much nicer.”

However, the thing is when you stay in a hostel, often you are by yourself. But, importantly, so are all of the other travellers.

What you then find is that this is a valuable opportunity to connect with new people from different cultures and walks of life.

Another added bonus is that hostels know what is really going on in the city that you are staying in.

So all of a sudden you are in a new city…

  • You are meeting people at your hostel
  • There will be loads of events that will be put on for you
  • It is a great opportunity to meet a different type of woman with a different type of culture

This allows you to really get back into dating easily and in a fun way.

Underneath is my infographic that outlines the three types of intelligence you want to convey when you are speaking to women. You can read my article to learn how to implement these effectively – How To Carry On A Conversation With Women | The Complete Guide

3 types of intelligence to convey in your conversations with women

How To Get Back Into Dating #10 – Join A New Gym

You may already train at the gym. However, by changing to a different gym, it gives you a new experience.

You are now single. You are now actively dating, so when you join a new gym you can become more sociable.

And you can talk to more people; in essence, become a new person.

Changing your gym is a really effective way of energising yourself and also kick-starting your confidence.

If you are not training at all, then this is also a really good way to build your confidence and to assist you in feeling better about dating women.

#11 – Join A New Social Club Doing something That You Love

It can be a book reading club, it can be a salsa dance lesson, or it can be a sculpting class for example. It really doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it interests you.


  • The attractive man who leads an attractive lifestyle spends his time doing activities he enjoys
  • When you speak to women you can talk about your new interests

So simply by booking onto a social club, you are likely to meet other people there that have similar hobbies.

Perhaps they are single themselves and it can lead to a potential relationship. Or maybe they will have friends and they can say to you:

“Oh, you should meet my friend. She’s also single.”

As a result, doing something that you love in your spare time is a really great way of getting back into the dating game.

Below you will see my infographic that teaches you how to flirt with women in any social setting.

I also suggest you read my corresponding article where I outline how to implement each technique into your conversations – How To Speak To Women | This Is What Makes Her Think About You

5 conversational techniques that will make her remember you

#12 – Find A Wingman Who Is Already Confident With Women

There are multiple ways of finding wingmen such as by going on nights out, bar crawls or social events.

Find someone who is:

  • Social intelligent
  • Socially aware and willing to go out
  • Actively single and wants to meet more women

Spending time with someone like this will allow you to learn from that person as a role model.

You will also to get some more dates in your diary where you are going out and actively meeting new people.

To learn more about the qualities of ‘the attractive man’ look at my infographic underneath.

In my related article here I talk about each of these 9 qualities and how they make you more attractive to women – Dating Tips For Men | Nine Psychological Tools (that attractive men use).

9 psychological techniques that attractive men use around women

#13 – Start Reading Blogs And Books With Modern Dating Advice

I would also include listening to dating podcasts like my one – The Gary Gunn Show.

In principle, what you would like to know is what is currently going on in the dating world:

  • Where do single people go?
  • What are the mechanics of dating nowadays?
  • What common pitfalls and mistakes do people make when they are trying to get back into dating?

By reading books, reading blogs, listening to podcasts and watching videos, you will start to bring your dating goals to life.

This is because you become more aware of what is socially acceptable in the dating scene in this day and age.

Below you will find my infographic which offers 5 dating lessons for life that will help you immeasurably in your dating interactions.

Read my corresponding article here for more detail on how to implement these lessons – Five Dating Lessons For Life | Save Time, Effort & Energy Meeting Women

5 principles that enhance your dating interactions with women

#14 – Ask Friends If They Know Any Single Women

This is a really effective way of meeting new women. The reason why is because there is already trust.

There is already a connection through your mutual friend.

And so if they happen to know anyone single, your friend is more than likely going to be able to give you a warm and glowing introduction.

When we have a warm and positive introduction to a girl it is so much easier to organise a date because the trust has already been established.

  • This means you can focus on getting to know her in conversation
  • You already have a commonality in your mutual friend as a subject of discussion

Just ask your friends if they have any single friends that you think might be suitable.

To amp up on your conversations with a woman on a date I have included my infographic below which offers three techniques to follow.

You can also read my article in full where I give another 17 additional ways. Simply click on the link to access it – How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 17 Ways)

3 seduction techniques to use with women

#15 – Become A Local Dog Walker

There are many apps nowadays for anyone who likes dogs, where you can register to be a dog walker in your spare time.

Guess what happens when you take dogs out for walks?

Everyone will want to come and talk to you.

I am a big dog lover anyway, but in registering as a dog walker, what will happen?

  • It will be an active hobby
  • You will be out and about more
  • People (including women) will come up and speak to you

This is an excellent way to get back into dating because it is a low-level investment and it is fun.

You are simply walking a dog and you are allowing other people to initiate contact with you.


How do I date after years of being single?

In this article, I’ve given you a step-by-step methodology that you can follow. I fully understand that in being single for many years, it can be extremely difficult to have the confidence to get back into dating.

What I would advise you do is take it slowly. Start by taking out a pen and paper and writing out what you would like from your dating life.

The smaller you make that initial investment, the more likely you are to follow through on it.

Once you have done that, it’s then“Okay, what’s next? What can I now work on?”

When you take that next step, what happens is your self-efficacy begins to grow. When you take it one step at a time, your confidence will also be raised.

What that allows you to do is get back into the dating scene in terms that are comfortable to you.

How long after a relationship should you start dating again?

It should be as soon as possible as what are you waiting for?

If you think about that logically, you want to be going out and meeting new people. You want to actively be having a better social and dating life sooner rather than later.

I’m not saying that the new women that you will meet will be longterm relationships from the start.

However, what I am saying is there is no value in staying single if you want to get back into the dating game.

If you are looking at getting back into dating, you should be doing it immediately.

For anyone who is not yet ready to start dating again, and who may need help in processing that period of their life, I would recommend doing a meditation practice. This will help you in regaining your emotional control.

My infographic below also gives invaluable advice to any man that is looking to date after a divorce.

You can also read the entire article here – Dating After Divorce For A Man | The Comprehensive Guide (step-by-step)

Seven ways to get back into dating after a divorce for a man

How do I start dating?

This one is simple and it’s fun – start dating.

You literally just need to switch your attention. Focus on what it is you want from your dating life and what women you would like to meet.

Once you have worked that out then comes the fun aspect.

Go out and start dating different types of women. Enjoy different types of conversations.

You can then start deciding who is the type of person you would like to attract into your life. And who is the type of woman that you would like to date longterm?


Here are the top 15 ways to get back into dating:

  • #1 – Set a dating goal
  • #2 – Online dating
  • #3 – Speed dating
  • #4 – Take a dating confidence course
  • #5 – Reconnect with old flames
  • #6 – Meet women during your day-to-day life
  • #7 – Take a singles holiday
  • #8 – Go on a bar crawl
  • #9 – Take a holiday and stay in a hostel
  • #10 – Join a new gym
  • #11 – Join a new social club, doing something that you love.
  • #12 – Find a wingman who is already confident with women
  • #13 – Start reading blogs and books with modern dating advice
  • #14 – Ask friends if they know any single women
  • #15 – Become a local dog walker

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