How to Get Over a Girl: A Science-Based Guide for Moving On

How to Get Over a Girl: A Science-Based Guide for Moving On

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will teach you how to get over a girl according to psychology and science.

As an accredited therapist and coach, I will also give you actionable advice that you can use right away to feel better.

Accept your emotions

It’s natural to feel a mix of sadness, anger, and even guilt.

Instead of avoiding these emotions, allow yourself to experience them.

Research shows that processing emotions is key to overcoming them.

Action Points:

  • Recognize and acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
  • Set aside time to reflect on your emotions through journaling or meditation.
  • Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings to gain a different perspective.

Seek closure

Closure is a psychological concept that suggests we need a sense of resolution to move forward.

It’s important to reflect on the relationship, its ups and downs, and what you learned from it.

Action Points:

  • Write a letter to your ex (without sending it) to express your thoughts and feelings.
  • Make a list of lessons learned from the relationship to identify patterns and personal growth.
  • Perform a symbolic gesture, like deleting pictures or packing away mementos, to signify the end of the relationship.

Create new memories

Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and adapt, plays a crucial role in healing.

By creating new memories and experiences, you can reshape your neural pathways and decrease the emotional intensity of memories tied to your ex.

Action Points:

  • Pursue new hobbies or interests to create fresh experiences.
  • Travel or explore new places, even within your own city.
  • Attend social events and engage with new people to build new connections.

Focus on self-care

Prioritizing self-care can have a positive impact on your mental health and wellbeing.

Taking care of your physical health by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep can also influence the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin and endorphins, which can help lift your mood.

Action Points:

  • Develop a healthy routine, including balanced meals, regular exercise, and adequate sleep.
  • Set aside time for relaxation and activities that bring joy, such as reading or listening to music.
  • Establish personal goals and work towards them to regain a sense of control and purpose.

Utilize social support

Connecting with friends and family can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup.

Research indicates that social support is vital for emotional recovery and building resilience.

Action Points:

  • Reach out to friends and family members for emotional support and encouragement.
  • Join a support group or online community to connect with others who share similar experiences.
  • Schedule regular social activities to maintain connections and avoid isolation.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you manage negative thoughts and feelings.

Practicing mindfulness increases self-awareness, allowing you to identify and process emotions more effectively.

Action Points:

  • Dedicate time each day to practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises.
  • Try yoga or tai chi to combine mindfulness with physical activity.
  • Use a mindfulness app or take a mindfulness course to deepen your practice and understanding.

Consider therapy

If you’re struggling to get over a girl, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be beneficial.

A therapist can provide coping strategies, support, and guidance tailored to your unique situation.

Action Points:

  • Research local therapists or online counseling platforms to find the right fit for your needs.
  • Schedule an initial consultation to discuss your situation and goals for therapy.
  • Commit to attending therapy sessions regularly for consistent progress and support.

Be patient with yourself

Healing takes time, and there’s no specific timeline for getting over someone.

The process varies from person to person, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself.

Remember, growth and healing are not linear; there may be setbacks along the way, but every step counts.

Action Points:

  • Set realistic expectations for the healing process and recognize that it takes time.
  • Practice self-compassion and kindness when setbacks occur.
  • Celebrate small achievements and progress along your journey to recovery.

Conclusion

  • Getting over a girl can be challenging and it is normal to feel a sense of sadness.
  • By taking action in accepting your emotions you will be well on your way to healing.
  • Getting over a girl will ultimately lead to more resilience and increased personal growth.

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Resources

  1. Study on Accepting Emotions: “The Psychological Health Benefits of Accepting Negative Emotions and Thoughts: Laboratory, Diary, and Longitudinal Evidence.” This study provides evidence that accepting negative emotions and thoughts can lead to better psychological health. The research demonstrates the importance of allowing yourself to experience emotions during the healing process after a breakup.
  2. Study on Social Support: “Social Support and Resilience to Stress: From Neurobiology to Clinical Practice.” This research highlights the role of social support in coping with stress and its neurobiological underpinnings. The study emphasizes the importance of connecting with friends and family to help navigate the emotional challenges of a breakup.
  3. Study on Mindfulness: “Effectiveness of a Meditation-Based Stress Reduction Program in the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders.” This study investigates the effectiveness of mindfulness-based stress reduction in the treatment of anxiety disorders, which can be applicable to the emotional turmoil experienced after a breakup. The results show that mindfulness techniques can be beneficial in managing negative thoughts and feelings.

Written by Gary Gunn


Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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