How To Get Over A Girl | Reclaim Your Emotional Control

How To Get Over A Girl | Reclaim Your Emotional Control

How To Get Over A Girl | Reclaim Your Emotional Control

How To Get Over A Girl | Reclaim Your Emotional Control

How To Get Over A Girl | Reclaim Your Emotional Control

Written by Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

How to get over a girl. So, in this episode, I’m going to discuss the different emotions that we feel when we are trying to get over a girl that we really liked and what we can do to feel better and start to take control of our dating life.

So, there are a few different things that you can do that will instantly help you to feel better. Now, the first thing that you can do is take out a pen and paper and you can journal about how you feel and you can write anything you would like.

The idea is that you just self-express get everything that’s on your chest, out and onto paper. The more you write, the better you are going to feel.


You can write about your frustrations, you can write about what you’re annoyed at. You can potentially write about things that are upsetting you. You can write that you’re feeling vulnerable.


The idea is that you want to get a snapshot of how you’re feeling out onto the paper. The more you do that, the more relaxed you’re going to feel. If you’re an artist, you can also paint a picture or you can draw.

The idea behind this strategy is just to get out how you’re feeling into the real world somehow. And when you do that, you clear your mind and you’re able to process the situation much better.

Now the second thing that you can do, is you can set yourself new dating goals, which can actually be very exciting because say, for example, a relationship has come to an end and you’re emotionally still tied to that girl, but the chances of it being resurrected are pretty well zero.


You can start to look to your future. So, rather than looking backwards, you can start thinking about the things that you would like.


So, if you take out a pen and paper and you say, “Okay if I had my ideal dating life, what would that look like? Where would I be living? What kind of experiences would I like to have? What type of girl would I like to meet?”

Because when you take pen to paper and you start writing out your dating goals and what you’d like in your life, you’re cementing that vision into your mind.

And what it does, it allows you to stop focusing on your past and really start focusing on your future. And it will enable you to start feeling better. You’ll start to feel like it’s in your control and you’ll start to feel more energised that you can actually take on more and go over this part of your life.


Now the final principle that I wanted to discuss, is a form of meditation, and I call it meditation because it’s the easiest description.


What it is, is a way of processing the past, so that it can no longer affect you. And there are two ways in which you can do that. The first one is just to give yourself thinking time. So, go and lie down or sit down and spend a few hours just processing, thinking about your relationship, thinking about the things that went well, thinking about the times that went bad. But you need to allow your system to process what’s going on because it’s almost a state of shock.

When you can give yourself the right amount of time to process that situation it allows you to just get over the emotions attached and allows you to feel better.

The idea of processing is also an extremely powerful tool in every area of your life. And if you can allocate time as a daily ritual where you just have thinking time, it can be very beneficial to allow you to control your emotions better.


Now, the second meditation that you can do is when you close your eyes and you think of your ex-girlfriend or what you’d like to get over. And typically you will feel this in some part of your body.


It might be in your eyes, it might be in your stomach, you might be in your back or your forehead. And I want you to tune into that feeling and give it a colour.

And what you should do now is just slow down your breathing through your nose, nasal breathing, and just focus on that colour. And what happens over time, the more that you focus on that colour, the more it begins to change and shift. Sometimes it even turns into symbols or an animal. Just stay with it. Allow that colour to be processed until it turns white.

When it turns white it’s a sign it has been processed. And if you think back to that memory, it no longer has the emotional attachment there anymore. This is an extremely powerful tool. I did this for five years of my life every single day and I just cleared so many negative emotions from my past.


A very, very powerful tool that has a massive impact on your life.


Now the other thing that you can do to learn how to feel better and to manage your emotions, is to study Stoic philosophy. Now for me, stoic philosophy is a fantastic way of coping with your emotions and if you’d like to learn how to get over a girl, stoicism can really help you.

It teaches you a way of being the calm in the storm. A way of allowing things to happen all around you and for you to be unaffected. If you just type in stoicism and you read any of the stoic philosophers, they will start to allow you to feel better about your life because you realise it’s outside of your control and outside of your spirit of influence.

The more that you can recognise that the more relaxed you’re going to feel. In my life, since I’ve studied stoic philosophy for seven years, I love when things start to go wrong outwardly in my life because I know a couple of things.


First of all, it’s not going to affect me emotionally and compare that to 10 years ago is just an unbelievable change. And second of all, when you’re not affected emotionally, you realise that there’s an opportunity in the setback.


And is also a very powerful thing to be able to do because if you’re trying to get over a girl that you like, there’s a lot of emotion there and that can be channelled into anything. It can be channelled into creativity. It can be channelled into setting new goals in your life. That’s an energy force that can be channelled into anything that you like.

So the calmer you are, the more you realise these are just emotions, they can’t harm you. The more you can harness and channel that energy into bettering your life, the more powerful you’re going to feel, the more unaffected you’re going to feel, and you’re going to be able to move into that next phase of your life being unaffected.


And that starts today by making a decision that you’re no longer going to allow these emotions to affect you moving forward in your life.


And I’ve given you a few different ways of doing that, such as writing about how you feel, setting dating goals, doing the emotional control clearance exercise that I taught you, and studying Stoic philosophy.

All of these by themselves are powerful. If you put them all together, you’re fundamentally going to change every single part of your life for the better.

 


Listen to The Gary Gunn Show Podcast #119 – How To Get Over A Girl

 


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