How To Get Over A Girl | The Ultimate Guide (Top 4 Strategies)
In this article, I am going to give you some helpful ways outlining how to get over a girl that you have feelings for.
The suggestions given here will help you regardless of whether it was a short-term or long-term relationship that has come to an end.
You will learn:
- Supportive techniques to help you process your feelings
- How to look towards the future and set new dating goals
- Coping mechanisms that will help you during this period
Above all, these measures will contribute towards making you feel better and more in control of your emotions.
Moreover, they are principles that you can make use of throughout your life.
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How to get over a break-up?
One immediate way to help you get over a girl is to take out a pen and paper and journal honestly about how you feel.
The idea is that you simply self-express and get everything that is on your chest down onto paper.
Why writing out your feelings can help?
You can write about:
- Your frustrations
- Your feelings of vulnerability
- Any aspects that are upsetting you
Writing out physical words describing how you feel has a powerful cleansing effect on your mind. The more you write, the better you are going to feel.
Similarly, if you are an artist, you can also paint a picture or you can draw.
The idea behind this strategy is to put your feelings into the real world somehow.
When you do that, you clear your mind and you are better able to process the situation in an objective way.
My infographic below outlines other helpful ways to handle short-term, medium and long-term rejection from a woman.
Reading my how to handle rejection with women article will also help you.
How setting new dating goals helps you move on?
The second thing that you can do is set yourself new dating goals.
Indeed, if a relationship has come to an irrevocable end, yet you still feel emotionally tied to the girl in question, then looking to your future will help you.
Rather than looking backwards towards what you have lost, you can start thinking about the things that you would like to have in your life.
Reflect on your future dating life
Take out a pen and paper and reflect:
- If I had my ideal dating life, what would that look like?
- Where would I be living?
- What kind of experiences would I like to have?
- What type of girl would I like to meet?
Significantly, when you take pen to paper and you start writing out your dating goals and what you would like in your life, you are cementing that vision into your mind.
This allows you to stop directing all your attention on your past and, instead, start focusing on your future.
As a result, you will feel more energised and begin to feel like you can pull through this part of your life.
Once you feel ready to date again my infographic below will help you. You can read my related how to get back into dating feature to learn more on this.
Ways to help you get over a girl?
In truth, a break up can feel like you are in a state of shock, almost like grief. To help you move on you need to allow your system to process what has happened.
I am going to give you two simple meditative practices that will help you.
Essentially, these are ways of processing the emotions associated with the break-up and past events so that they no longer affect you.
Take the time to process your past
The first one is to simply give yourself thinking time. This means go and lie down or sit down somewhere quiet without distractions.
Spend a few hours reflecting on:
- Your relationship
- The good and the bad times
- The emotions that come up
Giving yourself the right amount of time to process the situation allows you to deal with the emotions attached.
Moreover, the idea of processing is an extremely powerful tool you can apply to every area of your life.
Indeed, if you can allocate a suitable time to think as part of your daily rituals, this will prove beneficial in having control over your emotions and helping you to feel better day-to-day.
Use an emotional clearance exercise
The second way to help you get over a girl or an ex-girlfriend is by doing a straightforward meditation to help clear your emotions.
In fact, this emotional clearance exercise can be used to help you clear any negative emotional issues or memories from your past.
Simply follow the steps below:
- Close your eyes and think of the girl in question
- Typically you will feel this in some part of your body (it may be your stomach or jaw for example)
- Tune into that feeling and give it a colour
- Slow down your breathing through your nose
- Focus on processing that colour until it turns white
On this last point, the more that you focus on that colour, the more it begins to change and shift.
When it turns white it is a sign it has been processed.
How an emotional clearance exercise will help you get over her?
If you think back to the memory it no longer has the same emotional intensity attached.
I have carried out this exercise on a regular basis over the last 5 years of my life. It has helped me clear so many negative emotions from my past.
It is a very powerful tool that will have a huge positive impact on your life.
For anyone who wants to know more about meditation and how it can help you see my infographic below.
You can also read my meditation feature which has tutorial videos available.
How mastering your emotions will help you get over a girl?
Another powerful way to help you get over a girl is by learning how to master your emotions.
For me, Stoic philosophy is a fantastic way of managing your emotions and, moreover, coping with the ups and downs of life generally.
Study Stoic philosophy
Stoicism teaches you a way of being calm in an emotional storm. A way of allowing events to happen all around you and for you to be unaffected.
Reading the Stoic principles helps you to feel better about your life because you realise that certain events are outside of your control and outside of your sphere of influence.
The more that you come to recognise this the more relaxed you are going to feel in your life.
Stoic principles give you:
- The ability to respond to situations more rationally
- A greater degree of emotional control and a sense of composure
- A helpful framework on how to view and respond to events in your life
I have studied Stoic philosophy for the past several years. It has helped give me the confidence to remain calm when things start to go wrong in my life.
And furthermore, to be more steady and rational in my outlook.
How can Stoic principles help you get over a girl?
When you are trying to get over a girl that you like you have strong emotions that are consuming your mind and your general outlook on life.
Stoicism will help you view these emotions as an energy force that can be channelled into something positive.
- They can be channelled into creativity
- Or channelled into setting new goals in your life
Indeed, the calmer you are, the more you realise these are just emotions, and they can not harm you.
In sum, the more you can harness and channel that energy into bettering your life, the more powerful and unaffected you are going to feel.
This will help you move into that next phase of your life.
As per the image below we can teach you how to create a long-term relationship the right way from the outset.
To find out more about our training then go to our live training page.
- Write out how you feel. In self-expressing your emotions and frustrations you will feel cleansed.
- Set new dating goals. This will help you look towards your future, rather than the past.
- Emotional clearance exercise. In processing the feelings attached to your past it will help you move on.
- Adopt Stoic principles. You will learn to master your emotions and be more calm and rational in your outlook.
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.
He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.
Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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