How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Updated 2021)

How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article I am going to outline how to make a woman want you sexually. I will examine what sexual attraction is on a biological level and, importantly, what you can do to trigger it in the women that you meet.

You will learn:

  • What makes a woman sexually attracted to you (instantly)
  • How to use emotion to build trust (which leads to intimacy)
  • How living a tantra lifestyle is alluring to women (sexually)

When I first started out on my path as a dating coach, I recall reading The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. This manuscript opened my eyes to the biological responses in both men and women when around a potent mate. At this time I was coaching all of my clients in real-life situations with women that they found attractive. So I was able to mix science and biology with real-life exposure and it changed the way that I looked at the mating world. No longer was I looking at how to be confident around women; instead I had a blueprint for becoming a self-confident and attractive man.

Having a basic understanding of evolutionary psychology will accordingly help you to become more sexually attractive to women in your dating life.

If you want to learn how to trigger sexual attraction in women, then book onto one of our dating confidence courses. Take a look at our client testimonials on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

Evolutionary Psychology Quotes

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” Charles Darwin 

“If most of your courtship attempts have succeeded, you must be a very attractive and charming person who has been aiming too low.” Geoffrey Miller

“In choosing a man to help raise her children, a woman is only secondarily impressed by looks, whereas in choosing a short-term partner for sex, looks are much more important.” Robin Baker

What sexually attracts a woman to a man?

What sexually attracts a woman to a man is biological in nature. In order to understand this better, we need to touch upon a few key principles of evolutionary psychology.

We should all be aware of Charles Darwin’s natural selection theory, which he outlined in 1859 in his book titled On the Origin of the Species. In this manuscript, Darwin put forward his first theory of evolution by natural selection.

In short, he proved that the species that are most adaptable to change are most likely to make it through to the next generation.

Sexual selection theory

However, Darwin went on to explain a second theory called Sexual selection theory, which is central to understanding what sexually attracts a woman to a man.

In this particular theory, Darwin believed that we are competing within our own species for a member of the opposite sex with the highest potential biological advantage.

As a result:

  • Males are competing with each other for the highest value female
  • Likewise, females are competing with each other for the highest value male

We can observe this phenomenon when examining other animals. However, when we apply the theory to human beings, it becomes more complicated. This is because there is a broader scope for variation between humans.

What do men find attractive in women?

General attributes that men tend to find instantly attractive in women include:

  • Physical beauty
  • Hip to waist ratio
  • Facial symmetry

What do women find attractive in men?

General attributes that women tend to find instantly attractive in men include:

  • Intelligence
  • Physical size
  • Social status

I have created the following infographic guide to give you awareness of the first ten traits that a woman frequently notices in a man. Read my first 10 things a woman notices about a man article to gain more insight into each trait.

10 characteristics that a woman reviews in any potential partner

How do you trigger sexual attraction?

There are different ways to trigger sexual attraction. Darwin believed that human beings developed different types of intelligence to convey their genetics to attract a mate.

The first (and perhaps obvious) characteristic is being physically big and strong. If you are a big and muscular guy you are conveying that you are able to protect and provide for a partner, as well as any potential offspring.

Accordingly, being physically big and strong is sexually attractive to many women as it reflects strong genetics. Not all women, but a vast majority of women are attracted to that characteristic sexually.

Sexually alluring qualities in a man

Let us look at a few other traits, such as intelligence for example.

  • Are you smart?
  • Have you created wealth in your life?
  • Are you able to show emotional understanding?

All of these aspects demonstrate intelligence. This again showcases to a woman or potential mate that you have good genetics.

Similarly, taking risks is another attractive quality to women. It highlights that a family can depend on you to take a decisive risk when needed for their survival.

The image below is taken from a 90-minute video interview conducted for the 100th episode of my podcast titled An Education In Gary Gunn where I discuss various other attributes that are attractive to women and how to lead an attractive lifestyle.

Gary Gunn being interviewed by Marc Cobbs for his 100th podcast episode

How to enhance your attractive qualities to women?

To enhance your attractive qualities to women you first need to know what these qualities are.

On my dating confidence courses, we go through each of these characteristics that women find attractive – physicality, intelligence, creativity and taking risks to name a few that I mentioned earlier.

We then proceed to teach you how to convey these qualities during a natural everyday conversation. So in the same way that a physically big and strong person shows off their genetics, you can achieve the same via conversation.

Conversational seduction

Having an understanding of Charles Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory gives you an advantage over other men as you know what to convey in conversation to generate a sexual response in a woman.

In short, you become more sexually attractive when you speak to women by showcasing virtues that are biologically attractive. This is one of the underlying principles we teach at Social Attraction.

Below you will see an image from a course I hosted on the art of telling stories to women. In this 100-minute course, you will learn how to convey your most attractive attributes to women through the use of stories.

Dating coach for men Gary Gunn teaching how to tell stories at a confidence course

How to make a woman sexually attracted to you via emotion?

The most impactful way to entice a woman to find you sexually attractive is to connect with her emotions.

Demonstrating empathy in conversation is the most effective way to connect with a woman’s emotions and progress a relationship as it creates the first foundations of trust.

This, therefore, enables a woman to recognize that you understand her view of the world.

Demonstrate empathy

To demonstrate empathy simply reflect back what a woman says to you in a succinct phrase. You will know when you get this right because the girl will nod her head and say “yes” as she feels understood.

Demonstrating empathy enhances sexual chemistry because it:

  • Helps convey your emotional intelligence
  • Allows a woman to feel connected with you
  • Shows that you are putting effort into the relationship

I have created the infographic guide below to give you more ways of demonstrating empathy with women. Read my how to connect with women article to learn more about how to do this in your conversations.

5 ways to demonstrate empathy with women

How to be more desirable to women?

The most intoxicating way to be more desirable to women is to live a tantra lifestyle.

In a nutshell, tantra was developed by Buddha’s great-grandson, Saraha. Saraha found that he could not reach enlightenment through the same means as Buddha. Alternatively, when he was seduced by a woman, he realised that his way of finding enlightenment was in the aspect of letting go and being spontaneous at the moment.

In this manner, the whole tantra experience is about becoming spontaneous and fun around women.

Tantra qualities

Consequently, incorporating Tantra principles into your dating life will make you more seductive as:

  • Spontaneity is alluring
  • Being fun is flirtatious
  • Risk-takers are captivating by their nature

These are all part of the tantra lifestyle and are highly attractive to women.

Go-ahead signals

Once you become more attractive to women you will start to see clear go-ahead signals. In our dating confidence courses, we teach you how to read a woman’s go-ahead signals as well as how to progress your relationships with women.

To find out more about our training then you can visit our live training page and book a consultation call.

A model with three ways to read her go-ahead signals

Evolutionary Psychology Books

On the Origin of the Species by Charles Darwin


  • Darwin’s sexual selection theory. We are all competing for the highest possible mate of the opposite sex. Three characteristics women find attractive: being physically big and strong, having intelligence and being a risk-taker.
  • Enhance emotional connection. Demonstrate intelligence by showing a woman that you understand her view of the world. This accordingly removes potential barriers in her mind that may prevent her from forming a sexual relationship with you.
  • Live a tantra lifestyle. Adopting tantra principles such as being spontaneous, fun and a risk-taker will make you more sexually alluring to women. This light-hearted outlook will also allow you more freedom in your dating life.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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