How To NoFap | Everything You Need To Know (Updated 2022)

How To NoFap | Everything You Need To Know (Updated 2022)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

This article will teach you tried-and-tested strategies about how to NoFap. In doing so, I will outline one huge life-changing advantage – and that is the ability to control your sexual urges.

If you learn how to do that, you will transform into a more confident, attractive and desired man.

Covered here:

  • The benefits of NoFapping (to become stronger)
  • How to implement NoFapping in your life (and save time)
  • How NoFap makes you more desirable (by being more dynamic)

Learning how to NoFap will also stop you from:

  • Being frustrated in your sexual life with women
  • Having deflated energy levels on a day-to-day basis
  • Feeling powerless to control your sexual desires.

Here I will go through the top 13 questions that I get asked about NoFap. You will gain a greater understanding of how to make it work for you and see how NoFapping can transform you into a stronger and more self-confident man.

One of the best ways to get real life success with women is by NoFapping, alongside taking one of our training courses. Watch our transformational videos here: Attracting women courses for men:

Daygame confidence dating course for men to attract and gain interest from women

What is NoFap?

Fapping is another term for male masturbation. Therefore NoFap means that you stop masturbating for a set time.

What is the point of NoFap?

According to Mantak Chia, when a man ejaculates, he gives away one-third of his daily energy. So you can imagine that if you fap too often, you are giving away your energy regularly. Importantly, this energy loss stops you from using it elsewhere.

In short, no fapping is essentially about retaining this sexual energy within yourself, allowing you to channel it into other areas of your life constructively.

There are supposedly many physical and mental benefits which include:

  • Clearer skin
  • More energy
  • More testosterone
  • Increased mental focus

All of a sudden, your life is different; consider how many times a day you spend thinking about chasing up women for sex? After you go past 14 days of NoFapping, you begin to see some fantastic benefits, which I will go through in this article.

What is the science behind NoFap?

Around a decade ago, someone put a post online claiming that after seven days of NoFapping, their testosterone went up by 45%. Now, remember this was an unsubstantiated claim, yet it had the effect of generating massive buzz around the topic with men trying it and then posting their findings online.

As a result, we now have a decade’s worth of data from men physically trying out NoFapping in their own lives and documenting the benefits they experienced.

From a biological point of view, if you are trying to mate with a member of the opposite sex, the longer it goes on, the more your body will get into action mode to try and make that happen. This is the sweet spot where this surplus energy allows expansion into other areas of your life.

In effect, you will have:

  • More mental clarity for creative pursuits
  • A greater physical drive for attaining your goals

Attraction from women

If you want a better understanding of sexual selection theory and the characteristics that women are generally attracted to, then take a look at my infographic below.

This information is taken from my how to make a woman want you sexually article, which is worth reading if you want to know more about the evolutionary psychology aspect of attraction and how to be more desirable to women.

Three ways that make you more sexually attractive to women

What are the best tips for NoFap?

In my view, the best NoFap tip is to start with a set number of days then build up from this gradually. You say to yourself: Ok, I’ve never done this before, so I will NoFap for five days. When you get to the fifth day, ask yourself: Can I do another two or three days? 

You give yourself a realistic blueprint by starting with an achievable level, making it incremental, and building up from there. It means you are more likely to stick to it.

If you are single and spend a great deal of time chasing women for short-term sex, following NoFap means you are less likely to do this or fall into chasing behaviours. And so, give yourself one day a week where you do not follow NoFap. It could be a Saturday or a Sunday, for example. However, for the rest of the week, you remain committed to it.

NoFap commitment

Consider how much you chase sex in your life? Think about sex? Check texts from women? Approach women? Try it on with women? All of these things that you do to try and have sex.

As you cannot engage in sex, NoFap has the effect of taking this single-minded focus away from your interactions with women that you meet in your life, thus resulting in less desperate or try-hard behaviour.

Adhering to the NoFap mindset means that you do not give up because an attractive girl wants to have sex. Instead, you remain committed to it. And this is where the magic happens:

The Man who Faps

Suppose you think about the typical single guy. Let’s say he meets an attractive woman, and there is chemistry there. The chances are that it will come down to him to try and instigate the act of sex. However, because of his overwhelming desire for sex, he lacks self-discipline and indulges too freely.

The Man who NoFaps

Yet, what about the man that is NoFapping? Let’s take a moment to think about the following image: the guy who picks up a book and starts reading while in bed with an attractive woman. Now you may be thinking that is ridiculous. But, pause and pay attention here because this is an important lesson. That guy is never going to be short of a date. He is never going to be short of women hitting on him. Moreover, he has sex on his terms.

Practising NoFapping takes power away externally and in its place brings an internal control: I am not going to have sex, and I will NoFap. I will not ejaculate for six or seven days.

NoFapping can simply mean no male masturbation, but for me, it should also mean not having sex with women in that period because the benefits are unbelievable.

The right mindset

Let us now return to that guy lying in bed reading his book. He is in complete control of his sexual urges and, likewise, complete control of his life. Indeed, by learning how to control your sexual urges, you will:

  • Be more confident and balanced in your outlook
  • Come across as less desperate and try-hard to women
  • Have attractive energy about you that people will notice

You will realise that you could not previously control your sexual urges until you committed to NoFap. And now you are simply you, controlling your desires. Furthermore, you have moved out of your comfort zone, which is where you will see real value in your life.

If you want to learn more about avoiding falling into needy behaviours with women, read my dating advice for men article – the key points are included in the infographic below. You will find that practising these alongside NoFap will enhance all of your interactions with women.

5 ways to stop conveying neediness to women

What are the associated mental benefits of NoFap?

There is not yet enough proven evidence on this. However, from my personal experience, I find that my creativity goes up, as do my mental faculties and processing power.

I can:

  • Consume books faster
  • Speak at a higher level
  • Debate better

All these things happen because there is a build-up of sexual energy that I am channelling to serve me.

Other benefits include training harder at the gym, requiring less sleep, and having greater vitality. You will have more energy to give to your creative endeavours because a third of that energy per day that you were potentially wasting, you can now channel into serving your goals. Additionally, women will sense this vitality when they are in your presence.

See the following infographic for other vital avenues you can channel excess sexual energy into. Read my five spiritual laws of success with women article to learn why incorporating these laws into your life makes you a more attractive man.

Five different way to feel more relaxed and spiritual as a man

Can NoFap be used as a self-development tool?

It is incredible to use NoFap as a self-development tool. When you can control your sexual urges, you cannot help but notice the abundance of energy and focus you now have for other pursuits.

Moreover, you will have a realisation over the amount of time you spent chasing women – perhaps even women who you were not all that attracted to – simply because you were too caught up in that chasing mindset of having sex.

In short, when you get into NoFapping properly and you can control your urges, your life changes tremendously.

Supportive meditation

If your urges are out of control, I have some videos on YouTube that will help you. Type in Gary Gunn Tantra, and you will find meditative practices that I teach on how to overcome your sexual urges. Gary Gunn, How to overcome sexual desires is another.

In these videos, I outline how to control normal impulses and strong sexual urges. And so, if you are NoFapping and you need some support, then watch those videos.

As my infographic underneath depicts, meditation practices will help you tenfold in this area and more generally in living a more fulfilled and satisfying life. Read my corresponding meditation article if you want to know more about how meditation can help you.

7 meditative practices will make you more attractive

What are the physical benefits of NoFap?

The immediate physical benefits of NoFapping are having more testosterone and feeling more robust and powerful. By NoFapping, you are no longer wasting a third of your daily energy.

As a result, you can channel that into feeling more vital and more mentally alert throughout your day. I am also a fan of fasting, so if you NoFap and fast, you will get double the number of incredible benefits.

Will I have more energy on NoFap?

I can only speak from my personal experience and from clients of mine that I have coached in NoFap. Absolutely, yes, you will have more energy because you are no longer squandering it. With this extra energy in your body, you can express yourself more.

You can be far more creative and a better conversationalist; better at everything in your life because you are not giving away and wasting vital energy. So the longer you NoFap for, the more energy you will have, and the more confidence.

Importantly, you can channel this confidence in a way that attracts women to you. As your mindset is firmly on abstinence for whatever period of NoFap you set yourself, you will therefore feel less need to be agreeable with women. And expressing disagreement stops women from automatically friend-zoning you, as does having the confidence to break rapport in conversation.

For more on this, see the infographic below. These points are from my how to attract a woman article, which outlines why breaking rapport makes you more desirable and gives you the steps to do it.

3 ways to break rapport with women and attract them

Will NoFap help me deal with sexual urges?

NoFap will unquestionably help you deal with sexual urges if you commit to following it for a period of time. Commit to NoFapping for seven days. If you cannot control your sexual urges during that period, you will recognise that you need to take action as it exerts too much control over your life.

As I described above, you can practice meditation on sexual urges if you struggle. You can also book a consultation call with me, and we can do some of these sessions together. NoFap and meditation are valuable tools that are natural ways of increasing your confidence and increasing your impact in the world. They are life-changing and will shape you into becoming a more powerful human being.

Toxic shame

If you do have issues around sex, one common cause can be a high level of toxic shame. Toxic shame is an intense emotion that is triggered in specific scenarios.

To learn more about toxic shame and how to clear it, I recommend reading my toxic shame article, complete with tutorial videos, as it will help you. For more immediate support, see the infographic guide here:

Simple guide to resolving toxic shame in 5 steps

How do I start NoFap?

You start NoFap by giving yourself a time limit with a deadline, and you commit to it: I will NoFap for the next seven days.

If you do not last seven days, set a smaller target and increase it incrementally. As you get more into it, you will notice the personal benefits, which will help keep you on track.

How soon till I see any benefits of NoFap?

If you are someone who regularly masturbates, then you should start to observe the mental benefits of NoFap within three days. After a week, progressing to 14 days, you will begin to notice further benefits of NoFapping.

These include having higher energy levels, allowing you to train more and exist on less sleep and having clearer skin. These are all benefits that I found in my life, and you can find similar results in yours.

How do I know whether I should try to NoFap or not?

For me, NoFapping is a crucial area worth examining. If you do not get the initial results that you want, you can extend the number of days until you see the benefits in your own life.

I firmly believe that you should try any form of self-development because it is new and puts you out of your comfort zone. Only when we are off autopilot mode do we learn, discover, and develop our lives.

Having this forward-thinking mindset is what will make you stand out from the crowd and become a leader in your life, as my infographic below expresses. And so, if you haven’t tried NoFapping before, why not try it now?

If you want to know more about ways to elevate your thinking further and become a more desirable man, take a look at my infographic below and read my article about how to attract women.

Five ways to attract women in to long-term girlfriends

How long should I NoFap for?

It is up to the individual how long they want to NoFap for. I believe there are healthy levels and unhealthy levels. Once you have NoFapped for a while, you will begin to see how many days you can do to attain the maximum benefits. Having this recognition will permit you to NoFap in cycles.

NoFap cycle

For example, if you are dating someone, you can perhaps do a cycle of seven days. Or, if you want to push it, you can do 14 days or even 28 days. If your girlfriend is away or you have a personal goal you want to achieve, you can NoFap in that period to give yourself more mental clarity.

Incidentally, suppose you are in a relationship and are used to having sex quite often. When you tell your partner you plan to start NoFapping, I guarantee she will instantly be more sexually into you.

Therefore, if you want more sex in your relationship, outline your NoFapping plan, and watch her try and instigate sex. It will propel her to try and influence you to have sex more often. You can then test how confident you are in saying no to someone you find attractive.

Right action

Notably, at this point, where you have a choice is where the magic happens. I expound this in my confidence courses, as it is crucial. Your ability to say no to sex with attractive women is the biggest and most confident thing you can do as a man.

Being a man that can turn down sex with an attractive woman conveys you are in control of your life. Try it when you are NoFapping and see how invincible you feel. Accordingly, remember this choice: You can take the short term solution, which is to have sex, or you can select the massive benefits of NoFapping by saying no and feeling the power in your life.

When you have the confidence to make this choice you naturally become a more seductive man to every woman that you meet. Moreover, it gives you the detachment to be able to focus on other seductive aspects of communication, such as those listed in my infographic below. To learn more on this, read my how to seduce a woman article.

5 ways to seduce a woman


  • NoFap means abstaining from masturbation or sex for a set period of time
  • You can channel sexual energy into attaining personal goals and creative pursuits
  • Practising NoFap makes you a more attractive man who exerts self-control

Taking the next steps

If you want to learn more about the NoFap lifestyle and how to become more confident with women, we host transformational courses. Our training involves meditation, Tantra practices and real life teaching to approach and interact with women in the real world.

So, if you want to:

  • Stop having no control over your sexual urges

And instead, want to:

  • Feel empowered with vibrant energy around women

Then visit our confidence courses page and schedule a free consultation call with me on the link below where you can speak to me on a 1-1 basis about how we can help you get real life success with women.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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