How To NoFap | Everything You Need To Know (2021)

How To NoFap | Everything You Need To Know (2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will teach you tried-and-tested strategies about how to NoFap. In doing so, I will outline one huge life-changing advantage – and that is the ability to control your sexual urges.

If you learn how to do that, you will transform into a more confident, attractive and desired man.

Covered here:

  • The benefits of NoFapping (to become stronger)
  • How to implement NoFapping in your life (and save time)
  • How NoFap makes you more desirable (by being more dynamic)

Learning how to NoFap will also stop you from:

  • Being frustrated in your sexual life with women
  • Having deflated energy levels on a day-to-day basis
  • Feeling powerless to control your sexual desires.

Here I will go through the top 13 questions that I get asked about NoFap.

You will gain a greater understanding of how to make it work for you, as well as see how NoFapping can transform you into a stronger and more self-confident man.

The best way to get real life success with women is by NoFapping, alongside taking one of our training courses. Watch our transformational videos here: Attracting women courses for men:

Daygame confidence dating course for men to attract and gain interest from women

What is NoFap?

Fapping is another term for male masturbation. Therefore NoFap simply means that you stop masturbating for a set time.

What is the point of NoFap?

According to Mantak Chia when a man ejaculates, he gives away one-third of his daily energy. So you can imagine that if you fap too often, you are giving away your energy on a regular basis. Importantly, this energy loss stops you from using it elsewhere. In short, no fapping is essentially about retaining this sexual energy within yourself, allowing you to channel it into other areas of your life constructively.

There are supposedly many physical and mental benefits which include:

  • Clearer skin
  • More energy
  • More testosterone
  • Increased mental focus

All of a sudden, your life is different; as consider how many times a day you spend thinking about chasing up women for sex? After you go past 14 days of NoFapping, you begin to see some amazing benefits, which I will go through in this article.

What is the science behind NoFap?

Around a decade ago, someone put a post online claiming that after seven days of NoFapping, their testosterone went up by 45%. Now, remember this was an unsubstantiated claim, yet it had the effect of generating massive buzz around the topic with men trying it and then posting their findings online. As a result, we now have a decade’s worth of data from men physically trying out NoFapping in their own lives and documenting the benefits they experienced.

From a biological point of view, if you are trying to mate with a member of the opposite sex, the longer it goes on, the more your body will get into action mode to try and make that happen. This is the sweet spot where this surplus energy allows for expansion into other areas of your life.

In effect, you will have:

  • More mental clarity for creative pursuits
  • Greater physical drive for attaining your goals

If you want a better understanding of sexual selection theory and the characteristics that women are generally attracted to, then take a look at my infographic below. This is taken from my how to make a woman want you sexually article worth reading if you want to know more about the evolutionary psychology aspect of attraction and how to be more desirable to women.

Three ways that make you more sexually attractive to women

What are the best tips for NoFap?

In my view, the best NoFap tip is to start with a set number of days then build up from this gradually. You say to yourself: Ok, I’ve never done this before, so I will NoFap for five days. When you get to the fifth day, then ask yourself: Can I do another two days? Perhaps I can do another three days?

You give yourself a realistic blueprint by starting with an achievable level, making it incremental, and building up from there. It means you are more likely to stick to it.

If you are single and spend a great deal of time chasing women for short-term mating or sex, following NoFap means you are less likely to do this or fall into chasing behaviours. And so, give yourself one day a week where you do not follow NoFap. This could be a Saturday or a Sunday, for example. However, for the rest of the week, you remain committed to it.

NoFap commitment

Consider how much you chase sex in your life? Think about sex? Check texts from women? Approach women? Try it on with women? All of these things that you do to try and have sex.

As you cannot engage in sex, NoFap has the effect of taking this single-minded focus away from your interactions with women that you meet in your life. This helps ensure that you do not come across as desperate or try-hard in the way you communicate. Adhering to the NoFap mindset means that you do not give up because an attractive girl wants to have sex. Instead, you remain committed to it. And this is where the magic happens:

The Man who Faps

Suppose you think about the typical single guy. Let’s say he meets an attractive woman, and there is chemistry there. The chances are that it will come down to him to try and instigate the act of sex. However, because of his overwhelming want for sex, he lacks self-discipline and indulges himself too freely.

The Man who NoFaps

Yet, what about the man that is NoFapping? Let’s take a moment to think about the following image: the guy who picks up a book and starts reading while in bed with an attractive woman. Now you may be thinking that is ridiculous. But, pause and pay attention here because this is an important lesson. That guy is never going to be short of a date. He is never going to be short of women hitting on him. Moreover, he has sex on his own terms.

Practising NoFapping takes power away externally and in its place brings an internal control: I am not going to have sex, and I will NoFap. I will not ejaculate for six or seven days.

NoFapping can simply mean no male masturbation, but for me, it should also mean not having sex with women in that period because the benefits are unbelievable. Let us now return to that guy who is lying in bed reading his book. He is in complete control of his sexual urges and, likewise, in full control of his life.

The right mindset

Indeed, by learning how to control your sexual urges, you will:

  • Come across as less desperate and try-hard to women
  • Be more confident and balanced in your outlook
  • Have attractive energy about you that people will notice

You will realise that you could not previously control your sexual urges until you committed to NoFap. And now you are simply you, controlling your desires. Furthermore, you have moved out of your comfort zone, which is where you will see real value in your life.

If you want to learn more about how to avoid falling into needy behaviours with women then read my dating advice for men article – the key points are included in the infographic below. You will find that practising these alongside NoFap will enhance all of your interactions with women.

5 ways to stop conveying neediness to women

What are the associated mental benefits of NoFap?

There is not yet enough proven evidence on this. However, from my personal experience, I find that my creativity goes up, as do my mental faculties and processing power.

I can:

  • Consume books faster
  • Speak at a higher level
  • Debate better

All these things happen because there is a build-up of sexual energy that I am channelling to serve me.

Other benefits include training harder at the gym, requiring less sleep, and having greater vitality. You will have more energy to give to your creative endeavours because a third of that energy per day that you were potentially wasting, you can now channel into serving your goals. Additionally, women will sense this vitality when they are in your presence.

For other vital avenues that you can channel excess sexual energy into, see the following infographic. Read my five spiritual laws of success with women article to learn why incorporating these laws into your life makes you a more attractive man.

Five different way to feel more relaxed and spiritual as a man

Can NoFap be used as a self-development tool?

It is incredible to use NoFap as a self-development tool. When you can control your sexual urges, you cannot help but notice the abundance of energy and focus you now have for other pursuits. Moreover, you will have a realisation over the amount of time you spent chasing women – perhaps even women who you were not all that attracted to – simply because you were too caught up in that chasing mindset of having sex.

In short, when you get into NoFapping properly, and you can control your urges, your life changes tremendously.

Supportive meditation

If your urges are out of control, I have some videos on YouTube that will help you. Type in Gary Gunn Tantra, and you will find meditative practices that I teach on how to overcome your sexual urges. Gary Gunn, How to overcome sexual desires is another. In these videos, I outline how to control normal impulses and how to control strong sexual urges. And so, if you are NoFapping and you need some support, then watch those videos.

As my infographic underneath depicts, meditation practices will help you tenfold in this area and more generally in living a more fulfilled and satisfying life. If you want to know more about how meditation can help you, read my corresponding meditation article.

7 meditative practices will make you more attractive

What are the physical benefits of NoFap?

The immediate physical benefits of NoFapping are having more testosterone and feeling more robust and more powerful. By NoFapping, you are no longer wasting a third of your daily energy.

As a result, you can channel that into feeling stronger and more mentally alert throughout your day. I am also a fan of fasting, so if you NoFap and fast, you will get double the number of benefits which is awesome.

Will I have more energy on NoFap?

I can only speak from my personal experience and from clients of mine that I have coached in NoFap. Absolutely, yes, you will have more energy because you are no longer squandering it. With this extra energy in your body, you can express yourself more. You can be far more creative and be a better conversationalist; better at everything in your life because you are not giving away and wasting vital energy. So the longer you NoFap for, the more energy you will have, and the more confidence.

Importantly, you can channel this confidence in a way that attracts women to you. As your mindset is firmly on abstinence for whatever period of NoFap you set yourself; as a result, you will feel less need to be agreeable with women in conversation.

Showing disagreement is one character trait that will stop women from friend-zoning you, as is having the confidence to break rapport in conversation. For more on this, see the infographic below. This is taken from my how to attract a woman article, which outlines why breaking rapport makes you more desirable and gives you the steps on how to do it.

3 ways to break rapport with women and attract them

Will NoFap help me deal with sexual urges?

NoFap will unquestionably help you deal with sexual urges if you commit to following it for a period of time. Commit to NoFapping for seven days. If you cannot control your sexual urges during that period, you will recognise that you need to take action towards it as it exerts too much control over your life.

As I described above, you can do meditation practices on sexual urges if you are struggling. You can also book a consultation call with me, and we can do some of these sessions together. NoFap and meditation are valuable tools that are natural ways of increasing your confidence and increasing your impact in the world. They are life-changing and will shape you into becoming a more powerful human being.

If you find that you do have issues around sex, one common cause can be a high level of toxic shame. This is an intense emotion that is triggered in specific scenarios. To learn more about toxic shame and how to clear it, I recommend reading my toxic shame article, complete with tutorial videos, as it will help you. For more immediate support, see the infographic guide here:

Simple guide to resolving toxic shame in 5 steps

How do I start NoFap?

You start NoFap by giving yourself a time limit with a deadline, and you commit to it: I will NoFap for the next seven days.

If you do not last seven days, then set a smaller target and increase it incrementally. As you get more into it, you will begin to notice the personal benefits. This will help keep you on track.

How soon till I see any benefits of NoFap?

If you are someone who regularly masturbates, then you should start to observe the mental benefits of NoFap within three days. After a week, progressing to 14 days, you will begin to notice further benefits of NoFapping.

These include having higher energy levels allowing you to train more and exist on less sleep, as well as having clearer skin. These are all benefits that I found in my life, and you can find similar results in yours.

How do I know whether I should try to NoFap or not?

For me, NoFapping is a crucial area worth examining, and if you do not get the initial results that you want, you can extend the number of days until you see the benefits in your own life.

I firmly believe that you should try any form of self-development because it is new and puts you out of your comfort zone. It is only when we are off autopilot mode that we learn, discover and develop our lives.

Having this forward-thinking mindset is what will make you stand out from the crowd and become a leader in your life, as my infographic below expresses. And so, if you haven’t tried NoFapping before, why not try it now? If you want to know more about ways to elevate your thinking further and become a more desirable man, read my article about how to attract women.

Five ways to attract women in to long-term girlfriends

How long should I NoFap for?

It is up to the individual as to how long they want to NoFap for. I believe there are healthy levels and unhealthy levels. Once you have NoFapped for a while, you will begin to see how many days you can do to attain the maximum benefits. Having this recognition will permit you to NoFap in cycles.

For example, if you are dating someone, you can perhaps do a cycle of seven days. Or, if you want to push it, you can do 14 days or even 28 days. If your girlfriend is away or you have a personal goal you want to achieve, you can NoFap in that period to give yourself more mental clarity.

Incidentally, suppose you are in a relationship and are used to having sex quite often. When you tell your partner you plan to start NoFapping, I guarantee she will instantly be more sexually into you. Therefore, if you want more sex in your relationship, outline your NoFapping plan, and watch her try and instigate sex from you. Now that you are withdrawing unbarred sex, it will propel her to try and influence you to have sex more often. You can then test how confident you are in saying no to someone you find attractive.

Right action

Notably, at this point, where you have a choice is where the magic happens. I expound this in my dating confidence courses, as it is such an important point. Your ability to say no to sex with attractive women is the biggest and most confident thing you can do as a man.

Being a man that can turn down sex with an attractive woman conveys you are in control of your life. Try it when you are NoFapping and see how invincible you feel. Accordingly, remember this choice: You can take the short term solution, which is to have sex, or you can select the massive benefits of NoFapping by saying no and feeling the power in your life.

If you would like personal support in trying NoFap, alongside wanting to become a more confident and desirable man on your terms, then we can help you. As the image below outlines, we can help you create a long term relationship by instilling the proper boundaries and outlook in your dating life. To find out how we can help, visit our live training page and book a consultation call with me.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help you to get a long-term girlfriend


  • NoFap means abstaining from masturbation or sex for a set period of time
  • You can channel sexual energy into attaining personal goals and creative pursuits
  • Practising NoFap makes you a more attractive man who exerts self-control

Taking the next steps

If you would like to learn more about the NoFap lifestyle, then we host dating courses that will give you real life success with women. Our training involves meditation, Tantra practices and real life training courses.

So, if you want to:

  • Stop having no control over your sexual urges

And instead, want to:

  • Feel empowered with vibrant energy around women

Then schedule a free consultation call with me on the link below. Where you can speak to me on a 1-1 basis about how we can help you to get real life success with women.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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