How to Re-Attract Her: Scientifically Proven Techniques to Follow

How to Re-Attract Her: Scientifically Proven Techniques to Follow

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will teach you how to re-attract her with science on your side.

By understanding the psychological and biological factors that influence attraction, you can learn how to re-attract her even after she seems to have lost interest.

This easy-to-read, scientifically-backed guide will provide you with five actionable steps to bring the excitement back into your relationship.

Boost your physical presence

Physical attraction plays a crucial role in the early stages of a relationship, and reigniting that spark may require some attention to your appearance.

To enhance your physical appeal:

  • Maintain proper hygiene: A clean and well-groomed appearance sends the message that you take care of yourself.
  • Dress well: Select clothing that fits well and flatters your body shape. This can make you appear more confident and attractive.
  • Hit the gym: Regular exercise can improve your posture, physique, and overall health. Physical fitness is a trait many people find attractive.

Foster emotional connections

Deepening your emotional bond can reignite her interest.

To build a strong emotional connection:

  • Practice active listening: Pay attention to her thoughts and feelings, and respond thoughtfully. This demonstrates that you genuinely care about her perspective.
  • Share personal experiences: Open up about your own feelings, experiences, and dreams to create a mutual vulnerability that can strengthen your bond.
  • Engage in joint activities: Participate in shared hobbies or experiences that bring you closer together.

Leverage the power of touch

Touch plays a pivotal role in human connection, triggering the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes trust and bonding.

To reignite the physical connection:

  • Hug more: Hugs are a simple yet powerful way to show affection and enhance emotional closeness.
  • Hold hands: This simple gesture can create a sense of intimacy and security in your relationship.
  • Offer massages: Massaging your partner can help to relieve stress while fostering a sense of closeness and relaxation.

Unleash the science of novelty

Novel experiences trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward.

To maintain your partner’s interest:

  • Try new activities together: Attend a dance class, explore a new city, or try a new sport. These shared experiences can rekindle excitement in your relationship.
  • Surprise her: Small, unexpected gestures like a surprise dinner, a hand-written note, or a small gift can reignite the spark in your relationship.
  • Experiment in the bedroom: Introducing new elements to your intimate life can help to maintain interest and desire.

Cultivate the art of communication

Clear and open communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

To improve communication and rebuild attraction:

  • Be honest: Share your thoughts and feelings openly, even if they are challenging. Honesty can nurture trust and bring you closer together.
  • Address conflict: Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. Address conflicts in a respectful and constructive manner, focusing on finding a resolution.
  • Provide support: Offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on in times of need. Your partner will appreciate your support and understanding.


  • Utilise research-based techniques to rekindle attraction, such as enhancing your physical presence, deepening emotional connections, and embracing the power of touch.
  • Introduce new activities, surprises, and experiences to maintain interest and spark excitement in the relationship, backed by the neuroscience of dopamine release.
  • Cultivate honest, supportive, and open communication to strengthen the emotional bond and build trust in the relationship.

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  1. Hatfield, E., & Sprecher, S. (1986) – “Mirror, Mirror…” This landmark study explored the role of physical attractiveness in romantic relationships. Hatfield and Sprecher discovered that people tend to be attracted to partners with a similar level of attractiveness. The study highlighted the importance of maintaining a positive physical appearance to sustain a partner’s interest.
  1. Aron, A., et al. (1997) – “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness” Aron and his colleagues designed a method for creating interpersonal closeness in the lab by having participants share personal information and experiences. The study demonstrated that sharing vulnerability and engaging in joint activities fosters emotional connections, which can contribute to rekindling attraction in a relationship.
  1. Field, T. (2010) – “Touch for Socioemotional and Physical Well-Being” In this comprehensive review, Tiffany Field examined various studies that investigated the impact of touch on human well-being. The review found that touch releases oxytocin, which promotes trust and bonding. This underscores the importance of physical touch in sustaining and enhancing attraction.
  1. Fisher, H.E., et al. (2002) – “Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment” This study by Helen Fisher and her colleagues explored the neurological basis of love, focusing on the role of dopamine in attraction. The researchers found that novel experiences can trigger the release of dopamine, creating a pleasurable reward response. Introducing novelty in a relationship can help to maintain and rekindle interest.
  1. Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (1999) – “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” Renowned relationship researcher John Gottman, along with Nan Silver, published a book summarizing decades of research on the factors that contribute to successful relationships. One key finding was the critical importance of communication in maintaining a healthy relationship. Open, honest, and supportive communication can foster trust, intimacy, and a stronger emotional bond.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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