How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2022)

How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2022)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn how to seduce women. I have hosted over 1,000 confidence courses in the real world and will share with you tried and tested seduction strategies that I have been coaching over the past twelve years.

It will help you to avoid the following:

  • Have women suddenly lose interest in you, leaving you feeling frustrated and dejected.
  • Find that women are attracted to you but do not reply to your messages, leaving you feeling confused.
  • Feel a complete lack of confidence when you try to be intimate with an attractive woman.

No one should feel so powerless in their dating life – it is wrong.

We can help you make it right by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You will find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. On the call, we will work out which of our courses is right for you to transform your dating confidence.

You can also watch our client’s real-life transformations here –  Social Attraction course reviews.

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

How to seduce a woman?

The term seduction can be defined as a tempting or attractive offering.

It is essential to recognise that we all love to be seduced in some way. Some of us are seduced by music, others by artwork; similarly, it can even be the resonance of someone’s voice.

We all recognise when we succumb to seduction because we surrender ourselves at that moment. Knowing this will help us to understand the true art of seduction.

The best seducers

The best seducers in the world are not where you might expect them to be:

  • They are not in bars or nightclubs looking for women to seduce.
  • The best enticers in history are the names we know and love because they have cultivated a seductive lifestyle.

These are people such as Picasso and his artwork, Gucci with his handbags and Leonardo DiCaprio with his acting.

Namely people who have lived a centred life around creating value to give back to the world.

These are the expert seducers because they live a seductive lifestyle.

Seductive moments

Before we look at the five male seductive archetypes, let us first understand the vital difference between a seductive moment and seducing women.

We can think of a seductive moment as a gift that reduces tension in a woman’s mind. It is a powerful experience that she feels on an intuitive level.

Seduction can be labelled as a series of sensual moments.

My illustration below helpfully depicts how a woman is seduced only following a series of these seductive moments:

A scale showing how a series of seduction moments leads to a seduction

How to seduce difficult women?

The best way to seduce difficult women is to allow them to feel safe and secure in our presence.

A security provider archetype is someone who is particularly adept at relating to women who have a dominant frame upon a first meeting.

This type of woman tends to:

  • Tell us where to sit.
  • Ask us to buy her a drink.
  • Give us unsolicited advice.
  • Ask an abundance of questions.
  • Expect detailed answers from us.

Indeed this type of woman has developed this way of communicating to cut through our layers of language to see how we can handle the pressure.

Moreover, she is assessing how we handle her questions. And, likewise, how we deal with how she is interacting with us.

Safety and seducing women

A security provider archetype is a man who can influence a woman to soften her stance and loosen up in his presence.

A man who embodies traits of this archetype seduces a woman by doing the following:

  • Maintaining strong eye contact.
  • Not answering her questions directly.
  • Demonstrating assertive body language.

He entices her to feel safe, secure, and relaxed by doing this. And he does this by being not so easily influenced by her or the outside world.

Security and seducing women

Furthermore, in acting like that, he showcases that he has this under control and that she can soften in his presence.

For anyone who struggles to maintain a confident frame around women or tends to be friend-zoned, I have created the below infographic that will help.

I recommend also reading my how to stop being the nice guy article to access more in-depth helpful information.

5 ways to seduce women by not demonstrating needy behaviour.

How to seduce older women?

The best way to seduce older women is to enhance the mood and focus on making the experience of spending time together more enjoyable.

A mood enhancer archetype is a man that can tune into the mood of the interaction and make it better.

In my experience, older women tend to enjoy the process of each separate event in such a way that time flows alongside each experience.

Enhancing the mood

We can enhance the mood by focusing on her senses: the taste, the touch, the smell, the sight and the sound.

Here are a few examples:

  • Moving to a new location with better ambience.
  • Putting on sensual music which elevates the mood.
  • Dim the lighting to create a warmer experience together.

A mood enhancer aims to keep the flow of the seductive moments that will naturally lead to a seduction.

I remember teaching this to a 23-year-old client. He walked straight over to a girl by Trafalgar square, started a conversation, then went for a coffee at Cafe Nero before proceeding to the National Gallery with her. This memory remains in my mind because I was hired for a 4-hour course, and he was gone for 3 hours with the first girl he spoke to on the day.

He was a natural mood enhancer that focussed on her taste by getting a drink together and then artwork to elevate the experience. It turns out that she was a 29-year-old Brazilian model who had just finished a shoot with a few more days left in London – no wonder my client became enchanted!

Still, it is one skill to understand seduction and another to implement it in the real world, which is where my support can help.

How to seduce a woman instantly?

We can seduce a woman instantly with our looks, style, and body language. Additionally, we can seduce a woman with our words.

This scenario comes up frequently when we first meet a woman we like, and there is potential to spend more time together.

A problem solver archetype is a man that seduces women with his ability to solve problems.

Barriers to seduction

Barriers to seductions are everyday situations that prevent us from spending more time with a girl.

For instance:

  • She wants to meet us in a nightclub, but she doesn’t want to queue to get in.
  • She is out with her friends and doesn’t want to abandon them.
  • The result is that she can’t spend any more time with us.

In this situation, what women want is for us to use our intelligence to remove the boundaries.

Seducing with words

She is enticed by someone who can resolve her issues.

We will give her a seductive moment if we can overcome her dilemma intelligently and decisively.

The problem solver is an archetype who can seduce women by doing the following:

  • Demonstrating competence in life.
  • Helping a woman in a time of need.
  • Showcasing age-old chivalrous behaviour.

We will know if we have executed this effectively because the girl will accept our solution. As a result, she will invest more time with us.

Seduction and intelligence

I will point out that problem solvers are often highly intelligent men who can struggle in different areas within dating, like over analysing situations.

To help counter this, I have created the following infographic to show how best to navigate our intelligence when dating women.

I suggest also reading my dating struggles of highly intelligent men article.

4 that intelligent men struggle in seducing women

How to seduce younger women?

The best way to seduce younger women is by getting them to invest more in our interaction.

Younger women tend to have more dating options and can therefore be more selective.

An empathy builder archetype is a man who can excel when a woman is non-committal.

Seducing non-committal women

By non-committal women, I mean some of the following behaviours:

  • Avoids answering our questions.
  • Will not invest in the interaction.
  • She is vague with her answers.
  • Appears disinterested.

In essence, she is closed-minded with us.

What we need to do here is influence her to become open-minded.

Empathy and seducing women

We can seduce a woman in this scenario by demonstrating empathy.

Empathy is universally regarded as fundamental to our ability to connect with other people.

The easiest way to demonstrate empathy with non-commital women is to echo back her thoughts.

Echos and seducing women

Here is a simple example of how to echo back a woman’s thoughts to allow her to open up to us in conversation.

  • If she says, “I’m really busy.”
  • We echo back her thoughts, replying: “You’re really busy.”
  • She will respond: “Yes, I’m swamped because I’m working on this...”
  • You: “Oh, you’re really busy because you’re working on that...”

What happens is when we reflect back, we are demonstrating that we understand her view of the world.

Connecting and seducing women

We are building empathy, making a connection.

In my experience, the more that we can connect with a woman, the more open-minded she will become.

The empathy builder is excellent at building a connection with women by:

  • Being able to demonstrate empathy.
  • Allowing her to feel deeply understood.
  • Influencing her to become open-minded.

Importantly, we will know when we have attained the right frame of mind because the girl will relax in our presence.

Seductive moments are, in fact, invaluable in allowing women to relax in our presence and form a deeper connection.

I have created the following infographic guide to help you to better connect with women. Read my how to connect with women article to understand how and when to apply these principles fully.

5 ways to demonstrate empathy with women

How to seduce women emotionally?

The best way to seduce women emotionally is to connect with their emotions. Moreover, to demonstrate that we understand their comfort levels at that moment.

A comfort leveller is a male archetype capable of understanding the nuances of a woman’s unspoken behaviour and actions.

So when a girl is not comfortable agreeing to an initial request and instead prefers to compromise, for instance.

Emotions and seduction

Here are a few examples of behaviour where a comfort leveller excels with seducing women.

For example, when we:

  • Invite her for cocktails, yet she agrees to a coffee.
  • Ask her for a date, yet she agrees only to a phone call.
  • Ask her to meet our family, and she agrees only to meet our mum.

In each situation, the girl wants to spend more time with us. However, she wants to do it on her terms to build that relationship one step at a time.

Comfort zone and seduction

In essence, seduction aims to allow a woman to relax in our presence and not to become closed.

Therefore, we do not want to push her too far out of her comfort zone.

Emotional intelligence is attractive to her.

Emotional intelligence and seduction

The comfort leveller seduces women by:

  • Being emotionally intelligent.
  • Acting within her comfort levels.
  • Demonstrating he has intuition.

Above all, we will know if we give a woman a seductive moment because she will agree to spend more time with us within the realms of her comfort levels.

This only happens when we have clarified that we will not ask too much of her too soon.

Seduction in the real world

Over the years of coaching single men to become more confident with women, I have learned the distinction between attraction and seduction.

In brief, attraction is when we are in the presence of women, whereas seduction is when a woman thinks about us when we are no longer in her company.

I recall teaching these seduction techniques to a 22-year-old-client in Prague, Czech Republic, who was an introverted man that spoke to women in a calm and relaxed manner. He was not specifically attractive or in good physical condition, yet he consistently seduced women in conversation.

He was a blend of an empathy builder and comfort leveller. Once I showcased how he can seductively utilise his personality, he was forever changed into an expert seducer in conversation with women.

Indeed, this is where seduction happens – under the radar – in the real world with real women.

If you want to know more about our training, visit our transformational confidence courses page.


  • The security provider. He allows women to feel safe and secure because he is calm, collected and not easily influenced.
  • The mood enhancer. He is a sensualist who can enhance the mood of an interaction by focusing on her senses: taste, touch, smell, sight and sound.
  • The problem solver. He is decisive and capable of resolving issues with competence – this sub-communicates intelligence which is highly attractive.
  • The empathy builder. He can connect with and influence a woman to be more open-minded. He does this by demonstrating empathy and echoing back her thoughts.
  • The comfort leveller. He is emotionally intelligent and has intuition. He recognises when a girl feels outside of her comfort levels and is willing to relent to make her feel relaxed.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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