How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2021)

How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn how to seduce women. This means being able to meet, attract and seduce women that we would like to draw into our life.

In this feature we will discover:

  • How to give women seductive moments (that lead to a seduction)
  • The five male archetypes that are attractive to women (instantly)
  • Which seduction techniques work best (for our character)

I hosted an art of seduction course in central London in 2019 and what a fantastic event. I hired two top models to work on the course. We went through all of the information covered in this article including some role-plays (I love role-plays as they allow me to coach my clients to create new habits with women), then of course we celebrated with a night out full of success, fun and enlightenment.

This article has been updated and is now fresh with my latest seduction principles.


How to seduce a woman?


The term seduction can be defined as a tempting or attractive offering.

It is important to recognise that we all love to be seduced in some way. Some of us are seduced by music, others by artwork; similarly, it can even be the resonance of someone’s voice.

We all recognise when we succumb to seduction because we surrender ourselves at that moment. Knowing this will help us to understand the true art of seduction.

The best seducers

The best seducers in the world are not where you might expect them to be:

  • They are not in bars or nightclubs looking for women to seduce
  • The best enticers in history are the names that we know and love because they have cultivated a seductive lifestyle

These are people such as Picasso and his artwork, Gucci with his handbags and, likewise, Leonardo DiCaprio with his acting.

Namely people who have lived a centred life around creating value to give back to the world.

These are the expert seducers because they live a seductive lifestyle.

Seductive moments

Before we look at the five male seductive archetypes, let us first understand the vital difference between a seductive moment and seducing women.

We can think of a seductive moment as a gift that reduces tension in a woman’s mind. It is a powerful experience which she feels on an instinctive level.

Seduction can be labelled as a series of seductive moments.

My illustration below helpfully depicts how a woman is seduced only following a series of these seductive moments:

A scale showing how a series of seduction moments leads to a seduction


How to seduce difficult women?


The best way to seduce difficult women is to allow them to feel safe and secure in our presence.

A security provider archetype is someone who is particularly adept at relating to women who have a dominant frame upon a first meeting.

This type of woman tends to:

  • Tell us where to sit
  • Ask us to buy her a drink
  • Give us unsolicited advice
  • Ask an abundance of questions
  • Expect detailed answers from us

Indeed this type of woman has developed this way of communicating to cut through our layers of language to see how we can handle the pressure.

Moreover, she is assessing how we handle her questions. And, likewise, how we deal with the way that she is interacting with us.

Safety and seducing women

A security provider archetype is a man who can influence a woman to soften her stance and loosen up in his presence.

A man who embodies traits of this archetype seduces a woman by doing the following:

  • Maintaining strong eye contact
  • Not answering her questions directly
  • Demonstrating strong body language

By doing this he entices her to feel safe, secure and relaxed. And how he does this is by being someone who is not so easily influenced by her or the outside world.

Security and seducing women

Furthermore, in acting like that, he is showcasing that he has this under control and that she can soften in his presence.

This is a powerfully seductive moment for women.

For anyone who struggles to maintain a confident frame around women or has a tendency to be friend-zoned, I have created the below infographic that will help with this.

I recommend also reading my how to stop being the nice guy article to access more in-depth helpful information.


5 ways to seduce women by not demonstrating needy behaviour.


How to seduce older women?


The best way to seduce older women is to enhance the mood and focus on making the experience of spending time together more enjoyable.

A mood enhancer archetype is a man that can tune into the mood of the interaction and make it better.

In my experience, older women tend to enjoy the process of each separate event in such a way that time flows alongside each experience.

Enhancing the mood

The way in which we can enhance the mood is by focusing on her senses: the taste, the touch, the smell, the sight and the sound.

Here are a few examples:

  • Moving to a new location with better ambience
  • Putting on sensual music which elevates the mood
  • Dim the lighting to create a warmer experience together

The aim of a mood enhancer is to keep the flow of the seductive moments that will naturally lead to a seduction.

I remember teaching this to a 23-year-old client. He walked straight over to a girl by Trafalgar square, started a conversation, then went for a coffee at Cafe Nero before proceeding to the National Gallery with her. This memory remains in my mind because I was hired for a 4 hour course and he was gone for 3 hours with the first girl he spoke to on the day. He was a natural mood enhancer that focussed on her taste by getting a drink together and then artwork to elevate the experience. It turns out that she was a 29-year-old Brazilian model who had just finished a shoot with a few more days left in London – no wonder my client became enchanted!

Still, it is one skill to be able to understand seduction and another implementing it in the real world.

This is where my coaching can help you – in the real world – with real women.

In sum we educate you using online role-plays together with my female coaching assistants so you learn to attain the same results. Visit my live training page for more information on how this works.


A model with three ways to read her go-ahead signals


How to seduce a woman instantly?


We can seduce a woman instantly with our looks, our style and our body language. Additionally, we can seduce a woman with our words.

This is a scenario that comes up frequently when we first meet a woman we like and there is potential to spend more time together.

A problem solver archetype is a man that seduce women with his ability to solve problems.

Barriers to seduction

Barriers to seductions are common situations that prevent us from spending more time with a girl.

For instance:

  • She wants to meet us in a nightclub but she doesn’t want to queue to get in
  • She is out with her friends and doesn’t want to abandon them
  • The result is that she can’t spend any more time with us

In this situation, what women really want is for us to use our intelligence to remove the boundaries.

Seducing with words

She is enticed by someone who can resolve her issues.

If we are able to overcome her dilemma in a shrewd and decisive manner, we will give her a seductive moment.

The problem solver is an archetype who is able to seduce women by doing the following:

  • Demonstrating competence in life
  • Helping a woman in a time of need
  • Showcasing age-old chivalrous behaviour

We will know if we have executed this effectively because the girl will accept our solution. As a result, she will invest more time with us.

Seduction and intelligence

I will point out that problem solvers are often highly intelligent men who can struggle in different areas within dating, like over analysing situations for instance.

To help counter this, I have created the following infographic to show how best to navigate our intelligence when dating women.

I suggest also reading my dating struggles of highly intelligent men article.


4 that intelligent men struggle in seducing women


How to seduce younger women?


The best way to seduce younger women is by getting them to invest more in our interaction.

The reason for this is because younger women tend to have more dating options, and can therefore be more selective.

An empathy builder archetype is a man who is able to excel when a woman is being non-committal.

Seducing non-committal women

By non-committal women, I mean some of the following behaviours:

  • Avoids answering our questions
  • Won’t invest in the interaction
  • Is vague with her answers
  • Appears disinterested

In essence, she is closed-minded with us.

What we need to do here is influence her to become open-minded.

Empathy and seducing women

The way we can seduce a woman in this scenario is by demonstrating empathy.

Empathy is universally regarded as fundamental to our ability to connect with other people.

The easiest way to demonstrate empathy with non-commital women is to echo back her thoughts.

Echos and seducing women

Here is a simple example of how to echo back a woman’s thoughts that will allow her to open up to us in conversation.

  • If she says “I’m really busy”
  • We simply echo back her thoughts replying: “You’re really busy”
  • She will respond: “Yes, I’m really busy because I’m working on this...”
  • You: “Oh, you’re really busy because you’re working on that...”

What happens is when we reflect back we are demonstrating that we understand her view of the world.

Connecting and seducing women

We are building empathy; making a connection.

In my experience, the more that we can connect with a woman, the more open-minded she will become.

The empathy builder is someone who is excellent at building a connection with women by:

  • Being able to demonstrate empathy
  • Allowing her to feel deeply understood
  • Influencing her to become open-minded

Importantly, we will know when we have attained the right frame of mind because the girl will relax in our presence.

Seductive moments are, in fact, invaluable in allowing women to relax in our presence and form a deeper connection.

I have created the following infographic guide to help you to better connect with women. Read my how to connect with women article to fully understand how and when to apply these principles.


5 ways to demonstrate empathy with women


How to seduce women emotionally?


The best way to seduce women emotionally is to connect with their emotions. And, moreover, to demonstrate that we understand their levels of comfort at that moment.

A comfort leveller is a male archetype who is capable of understanding the nuances of a woman’s unspoken behaviour and actions.

So when a girl is not comfortable in agreeing to an initial request and instead, she prefers to compromise for example.

Emotions and seduction

Here are a few examples of the types of behaviour where a comfort leveller excels with seducing women.

For example when we:

  • Invite her for cocktails yet she agrees to a coffee
  • Ask her for a date yet she agrees only to a phone call
  • Ask her to meet our family and she agrees only to meet our mum

In each situation, the girl wants to spend more time with us. However, she wants to do it on her own terms to build that relationship one step at a time.

Comfort zone and seduction

In essence, the aim of seduction is to allow a woman to relax in our presence and not to become closed.

Therefore, we do not want to push her too far out of her comfort zone.

Emotional intelligence is attractive to her.

Emotional intelligence and seduction

The comfort leveller seduces women by:

  • Being emotionally intelligent
  • Acting within her comfort levels
  • Demonstrating he has intuition

Above all, we will know if we give a woman a seductive moment because she will agree to spend more time with us within the realms of her comfort levels.

This only happens when we have made it clear that we will not ask too much of her too soon.

Seduction in the real world

Over the years of coaching single men to become more confident with women, I have learned the distinction between attraction and seduction.

In brief, attraction is when we are in the presence of women, whereas seduction is when a woman thinks about us when we are no longer in her presence.

I recall teaching these seduction techniques to a 22-year-old-client in Prague, Czech republic who was an introverted man that spoke to women in a calm and relaxed manner. He was not specifically attractive or in good physical condition, yet he consistently managed to seduce women in conversation. He was a blend of an empathy builder and comfort leveller. Once I showcased how he can utilise his own personality in a seductive way, he was forever changed into an expert seducer in conversation with women.

Indeed, this is where seduction happens – under the radar – in the real world with real women.

Visit my live training page and schedule a consultation call with me if you would like to see similar results in your dating life.


Modern looking at camera next to three seduction techniques


Summary


  • The security provider. He allows women to feel safe and secure because he is calm, collected and not easily influenced.
  • The mood enhancer. He is a sensualist with the ability to enhance the mood of an interaction by focusing on her senses: taste, touch, smell, sight and sound.
  • The problem solver. He is decisive and capable of resolving issues with competence. This sub-communicates intelligence, which is highly attractive.
  • The empathy builder. He can connect with and influence a woman to be more open-minded. He does this by demonstrating empathy and echoing back her thoughts.
  • The comfort leveller. He is emotionally intelligent and has intuition. He recognises when a girl feels outside of her comfort levels and is willing to relent to make her feel relaxed.

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