How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (with illustrations)

How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (with illustrations)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn how to seduce women, which is one aspect of dating and communication that I teach in my dating confidence courses.

To know how to do this we first need to understand what seduction means, so this is covered in the first section.

Secondly, I look at the five main archetypes that women feel seduced by, as well as the different scenarios where each comes into play.

Just a few points to consider about the male archetypes before reading the rest of the article:

  • They allow women to feel safe, secure and protected in their presence
  • You may identify more with one that seems the most similar to you
  • Having an understanding of all five will help shape you into a man who is more attractive and seductive to women

What is a seduction?

The term seduction can be defined as a tempting or attractive offering.

Above all, it is important to recognise that we all love to be seduced in some way.

Some of us are seduced by music, others by artwork; similarly, it can even be the resonance of someone’s voice.

However, we all recognise when we succumb to seduction because we surrender ourselves at that moment.

And knowing this will help us to understand the true art of seduction.

Interestingly enough, the best seducers in the world are not where you might expect them to be:

  • They are not in bars or nightclubs looking for women to seduce
  • The best enticers in history are the names that we know and love because they have cultivated a seductive lifestyle

These are people such as Picasso and his artwork, Gucci with his handbags and, likewise, Leonardo DiCaprio with his acting.

Namely people who have lived a centred life around creating value to give back to the world.

These are the expert seducers.

Before we look at the five seductive archetypes that women are seduced by, let’s first understand the vital difference between a seductive moment and seducing women.

Seductive moments

You can think of a seductive moment as a gift which reduces tension in a woman’s mind. It is a powerful experience which she feels on an instinctive level.

Moreover, seduction can be labelled as a series of seductive moments.

My illustration below helpfully depicts how a woman is seduced only following a series of these seductive moments:

A scale showing how a series of seduction moments leads to a seduction

How To Seduce Women #1 – The Security Provider

This archetype is someone who is particularly adept at relating to women who are quite dominant upon that first meeting.

Therefore this type of woman tends to:

  • Ask you to buy her a drink
  • Tell you where to sit
  • Give you unsolicited advice
  • Ask an abundance of questions
  • Expect detailed answers from you

What is really happening is that she has developed this way of communicating as a way of finding out who you really are.

Furthermore, she is assessing how you handle her questions. And, likewise, how you deal with the way that she is interacting with you.

Women feel safe and secure in his presence.

Importantly, the security provider archetype is a man who can influence a woman to soften her stance and relax in his presence.

If this is you, then the way in which you seduce her is by doing the following:

  • Not answering her questions directly
  • Maintaining strong eye contact
  • Demonstrating strong body language

By doing this you are enticing her to feel safe and secure and relaxed. And how you do it is by being someone who is not so easily influenced by her, or the outside world.

Furthermore, when you act like that, you are showcasing that you have this under control and that she can relax in your presence.

That is a very powerful seductive moment that you can offer women in that scenario.

If you are someone who struggles to maintain a confident frame around women or has a tendency to be friend-zoned, I have created the below infographic that will help you.

In addition, you can also read my article here where I go into each way in more depth- How To Stop Being The Nice Guy | The Ultimate Guide (Top 5 Ways)

5 ways to seduce women by not demonstrating needy behaviour.

How To Seduce Women #2 – The Mood Enhancer

This archetype comes into play when a girl already likes you;  she is invested in you and is interested in only you.

Therefore, in her mind:

  • She already feels safe and secure with you
  • She is relaxed and is giving you go-ahead signals
  • There is trust and she is ready to progress the relationship with you to that next phase

At this moment, what you want to do is enhance the mood.

Moreover, you do this by focusing on her senses: the taste, the touch, the smell, the sight and the sound.

You are looking to elevate the mood.

So moving to a more comfortable location with better ambience; putting on nice, sensual music or warmer lighting for example.

Above all, the mood enhancer archetype seduces women by offering them the gift of a seductive moment.

He does this by being:

  • Emotionally aware of a woman’s needs
  • Sensitive to the prevailing mood
  • Intuitive in reading a woman’s cues

The aim is to keep the flow of the seductive mood and allow the girl to relax into your presence and enjoy the experience with you.

Additionally, for anyone who wants to know when a woman is giving you go-ahead signals and is receptive to your seduction, I have created the following infographic to act as a guide for you:

You can read the full article here – Signs She’s Flirting With You | The Comprehensive Guide (15 FAQ’s)

15 signs a women gives when she is receptive to your seduction

How To Seduce Women #3 –  The Problem Solver

This is a scenario that comes up frequently for anyone who is in the early stage of dating a girl.

That is to say, she would like to spend more time with you, but there are barriers in her way. For instance:

  • She wants to meet you in a nightclub but she doesn’t want to queue to get in
  • She is out with her friends and doesn’t want to abandon them
  • The result is that she can’t spend any more time with you

In this situation, what women really want is for you to use your intelligence to remove the boundaries.

She is enticed by someone who can resolve her issues.

If you are able to overcome her dilemma in a shrewd and decisive manner, you will give her a seductive moment.

The problem solver is an archetype who is able to seduce women by doing the following:

  • Demonstrating competence in life
  • Helping a woman in a time of need
  • Showcasing age-old chivalrous behaviour

You know if you have executed this effectively because the girl will accept your solution.

As a result, she will invest more time with you.

I will point out that problem solvers are often highly intelligent men. And critically, highly intelligent men can struggle in different areas within dating, like over analysing situations for instance.

Have a look at my infographic below if this sounds like you.

You can also read my article here where I give you remedies to each of these 4 strugglesFour Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men | A Modern Guide.

4 that intelligent men struggle in seducing women

How To Seduce Women #4 – The Empathy Builder

The empathy builder is someone who is able to excel when a woman is being noncommittal.

This means she:

  • Avoids answering your questions
  • Won’t invest in the interaction
  • Is vague with her answers
  • Appears disinterested.

In essence, she is closed-minded to being with you.

What you need to do here is influence her to become open-minded.

And crucially, how you seduce a woman in this scenario is by demonstrating empathy. Indeed having empathy is universally regarded as fundamental to our ability to connect with other people.

The easiest way to do this is to echo back her thoughts. In its simplest form, if she says:

“I’m really busy.”

You simply echo back her thoughts replying: “You’re really busy.”

She will respond: “Yes, I’m really busy because I’m working on this...”

You: “Oh, you’re really busy because you’re working on that…”

What happens is when you reflect back you are demonstrating that you understand her view of the world.

You are building empathy; making a connection.

The more that you can do that, the more open-minded the girl will become.

You see, most of us most of the time, are quite closed-minded. It is almost like walking around with your fists clenched.

When someone allows you a seductive moment it is like you can let go and enjoy the process.

The empathy builder is someone who is excellent at building a connection with women by:

  • Being able to demonstrate empathy
  • Influencing her to become open-minded
  • Allowing her to feel deeply understood

Importantly, you will know when you have attained the right outcome because the girl will relax.

Additionally, you will see the barriers in her mind melt away and you will give her a powerful seductive moment. And these, as I say, are a gift.

Seductive moments are invaluable in allowing women to relax in your presence and form a deeper connection.

As per the image below we can train you in how to connect with women.

To find out more about our coaching then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model with a light behind her and three ways to connect in conversation

How To Seduce Women #5 – The Comfort Leveller

The comfort leveller is the archetype who is capable of understanding the nuances of a woman’s unspoken behaviour and actions.

So when a girl is not comfortable in agreeing to an initial request and instead, she prefers to compromise.

For instance when you:

  • Ask her for a date, she agrees to a phone call
  • Invite her for cocktails, she agrees to a coffee
  • Ask her to meet your family, she agrees to meet your mum

In this situation, the girl wants to spend more time with you. However, she wants to do it on her own terms to build that relationship one step at a time.

Above all, you don’t want to push her too far out of her comfort zone.

Emotional intelligence is attractive to her.

The comfort leveller seduces women by:

  • Being emotionally intelligent
  • Acting within her comfort levels
  • Demonstrating he has intuition

You will know if you give a woman a seductive moment because she will agree to spend more time with you within the realms of her comfort levels.

She will feel secure and she will feel safe that you are not going to push her too far.

She will not relax or feel secure if you only want something from her.

You see the word seduction or seductive moments isn’t about this guy who is going out and chasing women all the time.

The seducer is the man who recognises that he wants women to feel relaxed, safe, and secure in his presence.

Keeping this in mind, your intention around women that you find attractive is to give them a series of seductive moments.

Above all, these moments significantly influence women to spend time with you, allow them to relax, enjoy your presence, and enhance the mood.

Most importantly, when you embody the combined traits of these archetypes, you will become someone who is attractive and who women will want to spend time with.

To learn more about attraction versus seduction and how to influence a woman to think about you non stop, you can read my article – Seduction Techniques | How To Get Women To Think About You Non-Stop.

I have also created the following infographic for you as a useful snapshot of information:

5 ways to seduce a woman


  • #1 – The security provider. He allows women to feel safe and secure because he is calm, collected and not easily influenced.
  • #2 – The mood enhancer. He is a sensualist with an ability to enhance the mood of an interaction focusing on her senses: taste, touch, smell, sight and sound.
  • #3 – The problem solver. He is decisive and capable of resolving issues with competence. This sub-communicates intelligence, which is highly attractive.
  • #4 – The empathy builder. He can connect with and influence a woman to be more open-minded. He does this by demonstrating empathy and echoing back her thoughts.
  • #5 – The comfort leveller. He is emotionally intelligent and has intuition. He recognises when a girl feels outside of her comfort levels and is willing to relent to make her feel relaxed.

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