How To Text Women | Top 10 Strategies (that every man needs to know)

How To Text Women | Top 10 Strategies (that every man needs to know)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In the first part of this article, I am going to teach you how to text women more effectively.

I will be outlining the most powerful tool for texting women that I teach on my dating confidences courses for men.

In the second section, I am going to go through important grammatical techniques you can use to enhance your text dialogue with women.

Specific uses of punctuation which will improve your message response rate.

Finally, you will learn my top 10 strategies for texting women.

How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

Above all, intermittent texting is about taking control of our dialogue and putting the necessary boundaries in place to manage our mental wellbeing.

In other words, the idea is that we only text women back during allotted slots throughout the day.

Being less available is not only a highly alluring character trait, but it also allows us to relax during long periods of our day where we can remain uninterrupted in working towards our goals.

Intermittent texting is an attractive trait because it conveys that you have a busy lifestyle.

If you contrast this with the direct opposite; an insecure man who is always available at a moment’s notice. This will help you appreciate the value in having allocated time slots for texting.

Having set time parameters will ensure you:

  • Are more resourceful with your time
  • See the compounding difference of being less available
  • Convey to women that you have an attractive busy lifestyle

Once we begin utilising intermittent texting with women and start to see the results, we can then push this further into our lifestyle with all of our digital interactions.

Initially, we need to get used to only responding to text messages in set hours throughout the day.

How To Use Intermittent Texting When Messaging Women

Step 1 – Select 3 x 1-hour windows

This may feel uncomfortable at first, but very quickly we begin to feel a sense of ease because we are only ‘available’ at a set time.  As a result, we can relax more during our day to day activities.

For instance, you can choose:

  • 12pm-1pm
  • 5pm-6pm
  • 9pm-10pm

Being less available is alluring to women.

Once we are comfortable using intermittent texting, we can then go one step further and put bigger boundaries in place to ensure we are more relaxed and less available.

This will make us:

  • Less reactive to the digital world
  • More relaxed in our outlook
  • Able to respond with logic and thought

Step 2 –  Select 2 x 1-hour windows

For instance, you can pick:

  • 2pm-3pm
  • 9pm-10pm

Step 3 – Select 1 x 1-hour window

This is the holy grail of text messaging; one solid hour to respond to any messages.

For instance, you can choose:

  • 7pm-8pm

Just imagine the control we can generate in our dialogue with the world; to build from this solid foundation to set more boundaries in place for the rest of our daily activities.

Above all, the ability to set boundaries is one of the main characteristics that attractive men embody.

For this reason, I have designed the following infographic to give you more awareness of the other attractive qualities to attain in your interactions with women.

You can read my related article where I outline each of the 9 qualities and how to develop them by clicking on the following link – Dating Tips For Men | Nine Psychological Tools (that attractive men use)

9 techniques that attractive men use online dating and also face to face

How To Text Women – Important Grammar

In this section, I am going to show you how to use the correct grammar when messaging women.

When you add specific punctuation to your messages, they become more engaging and intriguing to women.

To sum up, if you use the following grammar then your message response rate will dramatically increase.

Bold – emphasises a word. 

This is a really good tool to add some depth to our online conversations.

For instance; “Hmm… I’m not convinced that you can handle a 5k run.”

“Italics with inverted commas” – for quoting someone.

This can be utilised for quoting something a girl has already said, or we can take a quote from a famous person to add some humour into our dating interaction.

So rather than replying automatically to a girl’s message, we can respond with a fun quote. For example:

Girl – “So do you think your event will be a success?”

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Albert Einstein

Girl – “I’m trying to remember everything for my exam tomorrow.”

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” Albert Einstein

(Brackets) – include information which isn’t necessary to the main point.

These are really good to use if we can’t fit what we are trying to say into the main flow of the interaction.

“I bet that you’re going to study economics at university (not that you currently know anything about it)”

“I’ll meet you at 1 pm (by the café where we met)

Exclamation point – indicates a strong emotion!

Only use one! If we use too many it comes across as harsh and try-hard!!!! A single exclamation point is powerful when implemented correctly.

“I highly doubt that!”


PS – is an afterthought.

This is great to inject some humour into the interaction especially when we are organising a date. For example:

“I can do Monday at 6 pm or Wednesday at 7 pm for cocktails; which one works best? PS we both know you’ll only be able to handle one!”

“Sure sounds good. PS I expect I’ll be 10 minutes late as usual.”

The above texting techniques are all designed to improve your texting and online interactions with women.

Yet, if you would like side-by-side assistance in improving your dating results (both online and face-to-face), this is something we can help you with.

As per the image below we can teach you how to flirt with women.

To find out more about our tuition then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model next to three ways to flirt with women

How To Text Women – Top 10 Strategies

In the following section, you will get my top 10 principles for texting women. You can use these online dating, texting women and also via mobile dating apps.

Using these principles will undoubtedly improve your message response rate.

They will also be of great help in allowing you to organise to meet women again in person.

#1 – How To Text Women Playing The Questions Game

This is a great game to play to allow us to get to know women in a simple and easy manner.

The game is also perfect for first dates and can be played in group settings.

It can be played on dating apps at the start of new conversations and also act as a bridge between real-life meetings.

Though remember when playing this game via text, we also want to ensure that we are implementing the rest of our text messaging strategies for full effect.

“Let’s play a fun game; there are only 3 rules …

  • First rule – You ask me the first question
  • Second rule – I ask you one back
  • Third rule – It can’t be the same question that we ask each other

Ok, you can start …”

Once you have organised that first date with a girl, take a look at my infographic below for 8 fun techniques to flirt with her in person.

I would also recommend reading the whole article for more detail on how to implement these, along with another 9 ways to flirt that are included.

You can access it by clicking this link – How To Flirt With Women | The Ultimate Guide (Top 17 Ways)

8 ways to speak to women and initiate flirting

#2 – How To Text Women Using Statements

The main point here is not to enter interview mode by asking women lots of questions one after the other.

Questions tend to turn women off as because they have likely been asked the same ones hundreds of times already.

Some questions are ok, but generally speaking, statements are more powerful and ensure we are adding value to the conversation.

  • “I bet you’re from Greece”
  • “You seem more boring than adventurous
  • “I bet you’re into yoga!”

As you can see statements add a more dynamic feel to your text messaging strategy.

Now texting strategies are one way of organising a date. However, for anyone who wants to also learn some fun ways to approach and start a conversation with a girl during your day-to-day activities, I have created the following infographic.

You can also read my article here for more detail – How To Approach Women | The Ultimate Guide (with illustrations).

9 different techniques to help you beat the fear of approaching women

#3 –  How To Text Women Using Mystery

The chief aim here is to have fun with our text dialogue with women.

Anytime a girl asks us a question we can employ the principle of being vague and mysterious.

The important approach to remember in all conversations is to lead and not to follow.

In my experience, this leads to flirting and is the inception of creating sexual tension.

For example, when a woman asks you where you are from, you can respond with the following:

  • “I’ll give you three guesses”
  • “It begins with an E”
  • “I’m surprised you can’t work it out!”

However, if you do not have the confidence to implement this strategy with women then my infographic below will help you.

I would also suggest reading my full article here – How To Stop Being The Nice Guy | The Ultimate Guide (Top 5 Ways)

Five ways to become confident around women

#4 – How To Text Women Using Dictionary Definitions

This is a powerful tool particularly if a girl uses an unusual word; just give a definition of her most emotive word.

Simply copy and paste the google dictionary definition.

For example, if a girl says:

“Oh my God, the food there is delicious and yummy.”

All you have to do is go to an online dictionary, type in the word “yummy” and then copy and paste the definition.

This usually generates a fun response from women and forms part of an overall seduction.

As per the image below we can teach you modern seduction techniques.

To find out more about our training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Modern looking at camera next to three seduction techniques

#5 – How To Text Women Using Roleplays

Roleplays are a great way to keep the flow of an interaction between real-life meetings.

For the most part, our aim is to keep the fire burning by using some fun emotional dialogue when messaging women.

As an example, you can use a roleplay about being her boss or going on holiday together. Yet remember the aim is to keep the roleplays fun and engaging:

Girl – “I’m running ten minutes late.”

Us – “If you were my secretary you’d be fired…unless you can give me an appropriate reason to keep you...”

As you can see role-plays add another dimension to your text message strategy. It is worth bearing in mind in any role-play messaging – and really in general conversations – to try and avoid expressing negative traits to women.

I have created the following infographic to highlight the five main negative qualities you should try and avoid when speaking to women:

5 ways that put women off in conversation

#6 – How To Text Women Using Ellipses

Three dots are the best way to add mystery and depth to our messages…

Furthermore, they allow us to keep the dialogue open and for women to interpret our message as they see fit. When we employ mystery it keeps the fire burning and allows women to respond quickly as they can never be too sure what we mean.

Most importantly, utilising three dots also makes it easier for women to reply to our messages without asking them direct questions.

For example:

  • “I bet you’re a psychologist…”
  • “I’m not convinced you’re fun on a night out…”
  • “Hmmm, I’m doubtful…”

As a general rule, try and make sure that you balance your flirting with connecting with women. My infographic below outlines how to manage this with perfection:

Six tools to improve your communication skills with women.

#7 – How To Text Women Using Spelling Mistakes

Any time a girl makes a spelling mistake or an obvious grammatical error then it is fun to point it out. The reason for this is because we are conveying our intelligence by illuminating their error.

Be careful though, because if we then make an error ourselves be prepared for a girl to highlight it right back to us.

For example:

  • “It’s “their” not “they’re”
  • “I think you’ll find it’s “tomorrow”
  • “Your last message made no logical sense”

I have included the infographic below just to highlight the dating struggles that intelligent men can encounter. If this is you, then you can read my related article here – Four Dating Struggles Of Highly Intelligent Men | A Modern Guide.

4 ways that intelligent men struggle in seducing women

#8 – How To Text Women To Set Up A Date

Preferably, we want to set up a future date when we are in physically with the girl during that initial introduction.

If this is not possible then we are able to use false choices to allow women to select one of two potential date times.

Above all, we want to make it easy for women to agree to see us again in person; so by limiting the options to two choices, we are making it very simple for the girl to commit to seeing us again.

For example:

  • “I’m free Saturday for a coffee at 3 pm or can do cocktails Tuesday at 7 pm; which one works best for you…”
  • “I’m going shopping on Saturday at 11 am and the Tate Sunday at 2 pm; join me for one … not both though 😊)”

Considering that costs associated with dating can add up, I have created the following infographic to give you some useful ways to save money.

You will also find some great first date suggestions that don’t cost a penny in my related article  – How To Save Money Dating | A Step-By-Step Guide (top 5 ways).

5 ways to save money dating and improve your dates with women

#9 – How To Text Women Using Conversation Threading

Ideally, when we are giving information to women via text messages we need to ensure that we are building our value in the interaction.

To clarify, we should imagine the conversation to be like a log fire that needs feeding with more fuel.

The fuel that we add is anything that conveys intelligence, creativity or leadership.

“That reminds me of when I was last in Barcelona and did a walking tour; the guide was really funny too. I bet you’ve never done a walking tour…”

Moreover, we also need to ensure that we are not negative or judgemental as this tends to highlight our insecurities and turns women off.

If you want further information on how being negative or judgemental puts women off then please see my comprehensive infographic below.

You can also read the full article here where you will learn about the other unattractive traits to avoid displayingDating Coach For Men | 9 Signs Of Male Insecurity That Turn Women Off

Nine signs of insecurity that women find unattractive in men

#10 – How To Text Women Using Challenges

This is my favourite part of text dialogue as we only tend to ask questions when we want to know more about someone.

So when women ask us questions, we can be playful with our response and, most importantly, withhold the information that they desire. Consequently, this is the most powerful tool to get women to become more invested in our interaction.

Therefore when she asks us a question, we can use this opportunity to be playful and allow the interaction to flourish.

  • “I’ll give you three guesses…get it right and the first cocktail is on me…”
  • “Take three guesses…get it right and the coffee is on me”
  • “I’ll give you three guesses…get it right and I’ll take you bouldering”

Challenges are attractive to women because they showcase that you do not need their validation.

As per the image below we can teach you how to stop chasing women.

To find out more about our training then you can visit the following link – Skype dating confidence courses for men.

Model next to three ways to stop chasing women

How To Text Women – Summary

  • Intermittent texting – only text women during allocated times of the day like 12 pm-1 pm and 7 pm-9 pm.
  • Bold text – this is a way to emphasise words and add some depth to your written language.
  • Italics with inverted commas – these are fun tools for flirting when you want to “quote” a girl’s previous message.
  • Brackets – a perfect means for adding a throwaway section (to your main message).
  • Exclamation point – a powerful instrument for a big point – only ever use one!
  • PS – this is great for an afterthought. PS especially when adding some humour.
  • Statements – turn your questions into statements (it is what confident men do).
  • Mystery – do not answer women’s questions directly as this starts to build intrigue.
  • Ellipsis – a great way to end a sentence and leave it open for a reply…
  • Correct their spelling – reply to their messages by correcting any of their spelling to initiate flirting.
  • Photos – sending photos instead of text messages mixes up your conversation.

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