What to do when no one cares about you

What to do when no one cares about you

What to do when no one cares about you

What to do when no one cares about you

What to do when no one cares about you

Written by Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

You are doing your best in life and you have learned how to listen and to demonstrate empathy and take an interest in your friends, family and strangers affairs. You have learned how to connect with people in a way that allows them to open up to you, to cleanse themselves and reflect their attributes in a way that leads them to a better understanding of themselves or to feel whole again. Yet your issue is that:

• No one cares about you.
• No one asks you about your work.
• No one enquires more when you drop something about yourself into the conversation.

You initially feel like there is something wrong with you, maybe you need to become more exciting to capture people’s attention, maybe you’re boring, maybe you are the runt of the litter so why should anyone care about you anyway – you’re a chancer at best and an imposter at worst.

So you carry on with the same cycle over and over again in your life, feeling like you do not get enough back from the world and its inhabitants. One day feeling frustrated at a family event, catching up with colleagues or with a potential partner you snap and feel like it is time for a change as you can’t continue to live in this manner.


You realise that in fact all of your behaviours were to try and influence people to care about you and that you also do not care about them.


Placing yourself into the other part of the conversation for a change you realise that in 2020 and the current climate, social media and the pace of the world, we are all under so much pressure, we feel like we are sprinting and losing the race.

Unless our focus in on ourselves, how can we possibly navigate the difficult life that we all have to face, so we clam up and our focus is purely on ourselves. If we do manage to offer a string to someone else to speak, it is with a sigh of resignation, we do not care at heart – as anything away from us means we let go of the reins and our life falls apart.


The truth is that no one cares.


I had a dream 18 months ago that a family member had to take this death potion otherwise he was about to enter excruciating pain and die anyway, so I said it is an easy choice just drink it – then suddenly the dream changed and I was the one with the potion in my hand – the shock set in and I realised that it is easy to give advice and difficult to decide unless you are the one with the given circumstance.

It was at this moment I realised that even if we think we care – we can’t have a deep understanding. Most of us have a background narrative playing in our minds:

• When we are selling we hope they are going to buy.
• When we speak to women we hope they like us.
• When we text a girl after a date we hope she replies.


These background stories or narratives that are playing are impacting our feelings and emotions in a way that can lead to depression, anxiety and worry and awareness is the first step in the healing process.


In the main Hindu text The Bhagavad Gita, Krishna the God explains that we should all give in life and expect nothing in return – in fact, this is the type of thinking which frees us from our own ego-driven insanity. If we pause for a moment and rethink our narrative:

• When we are selling we hope they get what they want for a good price.
• When we speak to women we hope we leave them better than before the conversation.
• When we text a girl after a date we hope she enjoys reading the message.

By changing the background story that is playing we also soften and become calmer, more relaxed and less uptight. We are focussing on the wellbeing of others and thus freeing ourselves from our imprisoned and toxic thoughts – the feeling is nothing short of liberation – we care about the human being we are speaking to, our aim is to leave them in a better place than before we met them.


With this attitude to life, we are no longer craving their validation and attention because we seek solace in our ability to heal.


Next time you see someone, a stranger, a family member, a friend, a work colleague, STOP what you’re doing and take a moment to ask them how they are doing, with the intention of giving them some time above water to breath, and take homage in the fact that you – the listener – the healer – are also feeling the powerful Karmic law of giving more than you wish to receive.


 

MORE: How To Approach A Girl At A Bar | Top Three Principles

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