Personal Responsibility | Why You Must Take Accountability For Your Life

Personal Responsibility | Why You Must Take Accountability For Your Life

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about personal responsibility. Including the psychology behind owning your life troubles as well as supportive ways to take immediate action to better your life.

You will discover:

  • How to avoid victim mentality (that will ruin your life)
  • Why fear gets in the way of taking control (almost every time)
  • Exact examples that you can follow (to elevate yourself)

In short, taking personal ownership of every aspect of your life is the quickest way to generate confidence, self-esteem and a sense of purpose.

To illustrate this principle I want to relay what happened to me this morning. I was walking my 10-month-old red setter puppy, Nala, as I usually do when a Pitbull chased her and proceeded to bite her a few times. It was not dangerous, yet still concerning as the dog was overbearing and showing too much aggression for play. The owner ran after her dog, got control and apologised. At this time, I accepted it as a one-off incident until I could see 30 metres ahead that it had happened again with another dog. At what point will the owner take accountability for her dog? Will it be when he bites another dog too hard or, in the worst-case scenario, he bites a child?

The point I am making here is that the owner, like ourselves, needs to take personal accountability for all areas of her life to avoid potential catastrophic endings.

If you would like to take full personal responsibility for your dating success, review our client testimonials and book onto our next dating confidence course. Watch them on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

Personal responsibility quotes

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre

“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.”
― Confucius

“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists of daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other. It consists of deeds, not words.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Personal responsibility definition

Personal responsibility is taking ownership of problems, issues and concerns in our life. It is saying to ourselves that we own the complications and it is within our power to solve them.

Avoiding personal responsibility is adolescent behaviour that unquestionably harms our growth into becoming healthy and mature adults.

You do not want to be the dad that looks to the shop assistant to reprimand his misbehaving son in the supermarket. Instead, a contrasting example is the personal trainer who, tired from coaching all his students at the end of the day, still chooses to work out as he knows that his physical condition is his and only his responsibility.

Not taking personal responsibility

How did we get to a point in our life where we do not take personal responsibility?

Hours, days and weeks of detachment from life with no presence of mind. The worst aspect is that there is no signpost or destination in our withdrawn world. If you ask anyone else you will get the subtle nod and a sign that they understand what you are saying. Yet, clearly, they do not otherwise they indeed would wake up themselves. It is as if the past period of our life has been a dream, or a life lived out of repetitive habit. Those of us who have been there possess only our words, written or spoken, to describe the sensation of waking up and steering our life into a new destination.

Waking up tends to come when we are at a breaking point in our life, where a bolt of lightning shocks our body to the core. For me, this was a spiritual awakening. For others, it can lead to compulsions, negative habits and a further withdrawal from life. Whichever fateful turn in the history of your life has set off a proverbial hand grenade, the good news is that in the rest of this article I will show you how to control the blast and even how to diffuse future personal bombshells.

Personal responsibility meaning

Taking personal responsibility means that you take full accountability for every aspect of your life.

So if you are not happy with any of the following then it is up to you to make some changes:

  • Toxic relationship
  • No respect from peers
  • Financial problems
  • Health issues
  • Fitness levels
  • Anxiety issues
  • Self-esteem concerns
  • Lack of confidence
  • Work problems

Every item on this list is within your power to change. In truth, accepting accountability is both liberating and empowering.

It reminds me of a time in my life when I was trying to hire various expert marketers to help promote my dating confidence courses. Time and again, I would fall into the trap of complaining about their skillset and thinking that they did not know what they were doing and, instead, were ripping me off. It is only when I decided to take full accountability for the marketing of my business that my life changed. I elevated my thinking, I stopped relying on anyone else and I even started studying again. I found the process to be so liberating that I now take ownership of every element of my life. In effect, that two year period of victim mentality was the catalyst for a decade of personal growth.

It led me to write a best-selling book titled An Education In (Online) Dating which is available on Amazon. By the way, if you want to learn more on this topic you can also read my online dating tips for men ultimate guide and check out my simple infographic guide below.

Three actions that take personal responsibility to increase online dating results

Personal responsibility psychology

Taking personal responsibility prevents us from falling into the psychological effects of victim mentality.

When we take accountability we look honestly at ourselves. We also take stock of the elements that are within our control to change.

It is when we feel out of control in our lives that we tend to exhibit anxiety, stress and worry.

Anxiety and personal responsibility

One of the main areas that I help my clients with is anxiety over approaching women that they find attractive.

Most men go about their day seeing a woman they are attracted to walk by without registering that they could engage her in conversation, go on an instant-date and perhaps even start a life together. This is where expanding your thoughts can help you to grasp where and how you can take on more responsibilities in your life.

If you want to learn more about approaching women then my approach anxiety article will help you. You can also see from my infographic below that I offer some strategies to take personal ownership of your anxiety before making life changes.

3 ways that help you take accountability to diminish anxiety when approaching women

Personal responsibility examples

The best examples of taking personal responsibility in your life can be weighed up by any decision you make to no longer play the role of a victim.

This can mean:

  • Hiring a coach to help you to achieve your goals as opposed to quitting
  • Moving to a new location to reinvigorate your life as opposed to complaining
  • Launching a creative outlet such as a podcast or blog as opposed to boredom

In truth, every decision that we take in our lives either moves us closer or further away from our life intent.

This calls to mind a 48-year-old-client of mine who I coached ten years ago. He met a girl and dated her until the end of last year when he decided to end the relationship. He got back in contact with me as his life was not heading in the right direction, yet he felt ready to take accountability and make some changes. Now he is creating content based on the spiritual lessons he has learned in his life with the intent of becoming a coach himself. Additionally, he has also met a Brazilian woman who he is dating and is in alignment with his life ambitions. This all came together because he accepted responsibility for every part of his life.

If you are interested in spirituality my infographic below will help you. I also recommend reading my five spiritual laws of success with women featured article.

Five different way to feel more relaxed and spiritual as a man


Here are the most common questions that I get asked by clients of mine about taking personal responsibility in life.

How do you show personal responsibility?

The only way to show personal responsibility is to make changes to your thinking habits. When you move away from a victim mentality and start to take control of your life you will find that your thoughts and your actions align in a way that influences you to be a more responsible individual. Incidentally, this is also one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess: owning his issues and solving his problems.

What is accepting personal responsibility?

To accept personal responsibility means that you no longer pass the burden of responsibility onto someone else. So, for instance, if someone in your life is treating you with a lack of respect, then you do not complain. Instead, you think about what actions you took to end up in this situation. It means that you look inwards to solve all of your issues rather than succumbing to external complaints.

Why is personal responsibility important?

Personal responsibility is the most important element in the mental wellbeing world. If you do not take ownership of any of your problems then in addition to blaming others for any misfortunes, you become weak and will be unable to summon any strength at your time of need. The man who owns his issues is a man that is ready for the trying times. The man who does not, we all know because he is nowhere to be seen in trying times.

What are 5 responsible behaviours?

In my experience, the five most responsible behaviours are as follows:

  • Health – Taking care of your physical and mental wellbeing
  • Wealth – We live in a capitalist society that requires you to have capital
  • Relationships – If you do not like the relationship you are in then change it
  • Self-development – This means investing your time and energy into bettering your life
  • Self-expression – Taking the time to share your truth to the world

What is the key ingredient of personal responsibility?

The key ingredient to personal responsibility is to take a look around yourself and to feel annoyed, frustrated and angry about the poor life choices that you have made. You need some fire burning in your belly to elevate your thoughts and to set new expectations for yourself.

Taking personal responsibility

Taking personal responsibility is a decision that you make time and again in your life until it becomes habitual.

This means that on any occasion where you are not getting the desired result, are feeling insecure, or hard done by, you no longer enter into the victim mentality. Furthermore, you look at how you are accountable for your current issues and you make some immediate changes to take control of your life and your future.

If you would like to take accountability in your dating life, or if you would like to start self-expressing via a podcast or written blog then I would love to work together. You can find out more by visiting my live training page and schedule a consultation call. If you want to start small then make sure to sign up for my newsletter below.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help you take personal responsibility in your dating life

Personal responsibility books

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey  

Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill 


  • Personal responsibility is when we take ownership of every area of our life
  • If we do not take accountability then we fall into the trap of victim mentality
  • Claiming our problems as our own and working on solving them will liberate our lives

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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