How To Save Money Dating | A Step-By-Step Guide (updated 2021)
In this article, I am going to show you how to save money dating. In fact, a total of £43,200 over a ten year period.
You will learn:
- How to adopt a more frugal mindset when dating (that immediately saves you money)
- Better ways to converse and connect with women (that do not involve buying drinks)
- Inexpensive dating ideas (that make a memorable and engaging date)
If you implement the strategies, not only will you save money, but your dating results will increase exponentially. You will come across as a more self-assured and confident man who does not need to spend money to entice women to spend time with him.
How can I save money while dating?
The most effective and long term way to save money when dating is to be aware of your compound spend. By this, I mean the costs associated with going on an actual date, together with the costs associated with going out to actively meet a partner.
For instance, let us assume that you are single and that you are going out two nights a week. You are going to bars and other places where you can meet women.
And at present, the average drink costs between say £5 to £15. So we can average that out at £10 a drink. Plus most guys would probably buy roughly three drinks for women throughout the evening. Therefore if we average that out to three drinks two nights a week and do the math. That is spending £60 simply in buying drinks on nights out to speak to women.
Your compound spend
If you multiply that by four to look at the monthly cost. You are looking at spending £240 a month buying girls’ drinks. If you look at that over a year, you have advanced into the £2,880 a year mark. Indeed, if you are single for about a 10 year period, spending between £20 and £40 on an evening out. Over that time, you are going to spend a staggering £28,800 buying drinks for women.
We will come back to the expenditure on drinks later. For now, let us consider the cost of going out for dinner. If you take a girl out for dinner two nights a month (although if you are actively dating, it may be far more than that) and the average cost of a meal for two is £60. You do that twice a month and your cost is £120. Over a year this adds up to £1,440. And if you look at that over a 10 year period, it is a cumulative £14,400 spent in taking women out for dinner.
If we add those two numbers together (drinks and dinners out), we get to a colossal £43,200. That is a vast amount of money. So just being aware of your compound spend when dating will act as a brake before you reach for your wallet. Overall, this will help to save you money when dating.
Other dating avenues
In my infographic below I give tips aimed at helping those who want to get back into dating. A number of these suggestions can be used by anyone who wants to meet more women outside of the usual bar times which you can also do solo.
You can also read my how to get back into dating article where I outline each route in more detail.
Do you have to spend money to go on a date?
You do not always have to spend money on a date or even on a night out when you are actively trying to meet a partner.
The issue arises as most guys are so overjoyed to be in an interaction with an attractive girl that they are more than happy at investing money in buying a drink.
Let us pause and think about that logically. In effect, you are paying the value of a drink in exchange for a girl to spend more time with you. However, if a girl likes you and is invested in you, whether you buy her a drink or not should make no difference to the continuation of your conversation.
Buying girls drinks when you first meet them is submissive behaviour. You are saying: “Oh, here’s my money. Here’s what I can do for you to spend more time with me”
This is a highly unattractive trait.
You hear a lot of information online about guys being protectors and guys being providers for women. Yes, that is an important aspect of being a confident and attractive man. However, at the same point, when he first meets a girl, the confident and attractive man does not become submissive instantaneously.
There is nothing wrong with investing in your dating interactions once you get to know a woman. However, in first meeting a girl in a bar scenario on a night out, many guys are far too quick to buy women drinks.
This has the following effects:
- It shows you are not used to being around attractive women
- Portrays you as submissive
- Highlights insecurity
If you simply refrain from buying women drinks on nights out over the next 10 years, you will save more than £28,000. In addition to that, your dating interactions will be better as you will not be automatically reaching for your wallet to encourage a girl to spend time with you.
To help keep needy and insecure emotions in check I have created the following infographic. You can also read my dating advice for men article to learn more, as when you become aware that your dating behaviours are based on insecurity you can then trade them for more attractive behaviours.
How do you spend less on a date?
To spend less on a date you need to have a set intention about what you are prepared to spend from the outset. Moreover, you need to have the mental fortitude to stick to this set limit. This same mindset also applies to when you are socialising and actively meeting women as it can be all too easy to reach for your wallet and spend money needlessly.
Therefore when that awkward moment occurs when you or the girl that you are in dialogue with has finished her drink and you feel compelled to buy her another, it is important that you do not cave.
Instead, remember she is on a night out. She is earning her own money and is in a situation where she can pay for her own drinks.
If you are the guy buying all the drinks, then yes, you are making it very easy for girls to spend time with you. Yet that time is being invested pointlessly. Furthermore, women will not be attracted to you at the end of it because you are the type of guy who simply spends money to try and get people to like him. This is not an appealing quality to anyone.
Enhance your conversation
By not buying women drinks, you will find out how good you are at conversing with women. The interaction is, in consequence, on more even ground as you cease relying on buying drinks as a prop to keep a conversation going. This will notably illuminate the attractive communication skills that you can look to develop including:
- Being mysterious
- Becoming more engaging
- The ability to continue a conversation
In general, having good conversation ammunition that will improve who you are as a person and how interesting you come across to others. This way the woman is invested in speaking to you because of who you are.
The image below was taken from a course I hosted in London which focused on how to keep a conversation going with women. To learn how to be more engaging, fun and memorable straightaway in your conversations I recommend you watch this 80-minute video at a convenient time.
How to go on dates for less?
There are definite ways to spend less on dates. First and foremost it is important to adhere to that frugal mindset where possible.
It can help to bear in mind that if you are taking women out for a date every two weeks, across 10 years, that is going to cost you over £14,000. This is a huge investment – not only financially but also with your time and the girl’s time. You do not want to willingly be that guy who spends lots of money unnecessarily, particularly your dating results do not go up off the back of this excess spending.
So remember there is no law dictating that you have to take a girl out for dinner on a date.
Do not dinner date
Also, consider that a lot of people do not feel comfortable sitting down and eating in front of someone else. This is particularly true if it is someone they do not know very well.
Therefore, if you are the type of guy who frequently tries to get a woman to go out for dinner with you, you may find that many flake out last minute. This is because many girls will not want to commit to a formal dinner date as it can seem too overwhelming.
By avoiding a dinner date you will make it easier for women to say yes to coming on a date with you. Moreover, instead of going out for dinner, that investment of £60 could easily be used elsewhere.
One immediate remedy is to actively date outside of the main eating times, so you can meet someone and say: “I’ll meet you after lunch, or I’ll meet you before dinner, or let’s meet after dinner.“
This way, rather than sitting down over a formal meal eating opposite one other, you will have:
- More engaging dates
- Relaxed dating interactions
- Shared memorable experiences
In sum, you will have more fun and, importantly, you will save more money.
First date tips
My infographic below gives you some invaluable ways to help build attraction on any first date with a girl that will make her want to see you again for a second date. You can learn more about this by reading my related first date tips article.
How can I be romantic with no money?
It is a rather simple formula to still be romantic despite having no money. Firstly, if you are going to go on a date, you can meet the girl in the afternoon before dinner or after dinner. This way you do not have to pay the associated costs of a meal and drinks.
Secondly, you can look at having more engaging dates in the area where you live. This entails looking at venues and date ideas that are not based around spending money.
In London for example, there are so many free things to do including:
- Walking tours
- Grabbing a coffee
- Visiting the markets
- Going for a walk in a park
- Art galleries and museums
These things do not cost you anything. Importantly, they also embody experiences that are more participatory and fun for you and the girl you are dating. An example of an enjoyable and memorable mini-dating experience would be to grab a coffee and explore a local market before heading for a walk in a nearby park.
Another added bonus is that that you doing something experiential together. This builds trust, comfort, and connection.
Learn to connect
So next time you are in a bar and you are speaking to a girl you have just met. You are about to say: “Can I get you a drink?” Stop and remember that it is not only going to cost you the value of that drink. It is also going to cost you a cumulative £28,800 over the next 10 years. All without making any difference to your ability to date the girl that you are about to buy a drink for. Keeping this notion in mind will help you save money when dating.
If you want to learn how to flirt and connect with women – and without the need of spending money on drinks – this is something we can help you with. To find out more about our coaching visit our live training page.
- Be mindful of your compound spend. This is the amount of money spent on dates throughout an evening, a week, a month and years. It can accumulate to a whopping £43,200 over ten years.
- Refrain from buying drinks when you first meet a girl. Stop investing money to ensure she spends time with you. It highlights insecurity and submissiveness.
- Be a more engaging conversationalist. Improve your conversation ammunition and learn to be more dynamic, engaging and mysterious in conversation.
- Avoid going for dinner. It is too formal and high an investment for many women to commit to. Instead, plan dates outside of the main eating times; “I’ll meet you after lunch, or I’ll meet you before dinner, or let’s meet after dinner.“
- Learn to mini-date instead. Consider experiences you can do for free like walking tours, art galleries or museums. Or even grabbing a coffee or going for a walk in a park. It makes a more memorable and engaging date that will build trust and a connection.
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