Seduction Techniques | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2022)

Seduction Techniques | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2022)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn seduction techniques that you can use to seduce women. I will teach you the best seduction techniques I have been coaching for over a decade on my Social Attraction confidence courses.

If you do not use seduction techniques, the following will happen:

  • In your next conversation with an attractive woman, you will come across as desperate.
  • When you message a girl, she will take ages to respond and you will feel frustrated.
  • When you try and sexually advance with an attractive woman, you will be rejected.

No one should feel so inadequate in their dating life – it is wrong.

We can help you to make it right by taking one of our Social Attraction courses. You will find a link at the bottom of this article to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call with me. We will work out which of our courses is right for you to transform your dating confidence on the call.

You can also watch our client’s real-life transformations here –  Social Attraction course reviews

dating confidence course for men

Seduction quotes

Here are my favourite quotes on seduction:

“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.” Voltaire

I suppose that romantic love was invented as a brilliant means of seduction. Sigmund Freud

“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” Pablo Picasso

Seduction techniques female psychology

To understand female psychology enough to seduce women, we must first understand the difference between attraction and seduction.

Attraction is when you are in the physical presence of a girl.

Seduction is when a girl thinks about you when you are no longer together.

Psychology of attraction

To understand the psychology of attraction, let us look at a common scenario for single men:

You are on a night out with a girl that you like. You talk to each other and even exchange details. Yet, when you text her the following day, she does not reply.

The reason for this is because you were attractive to her at that moment, yet you did not seduce her.

Psychology of seduction

Now let us move on to understanding the psychology of seduction using other common examples:

You are training hard at the gym, performing music in public or looking after a cute dog. Suddenly, a girl appears, and you exchange details, and she messages you first.

You have seduced this girl because she has been thinking about you since you left the interaction.

Real-life seductions

I recall teaching this principle to a 38-year-old client two years ago who owns a dog walking company. He employed staff that would usually walk the dogs for him. When he became aware of the true meaning of seduction, he opted to take the cute puppies and train them in busy areas where he knew women would be walking in the park.

I explained that the more professional he appeared in his work, the more women would appear. Every day he had one or two women approaching and exchanging details with him. In essence, he was seducing women while getting paid to work!

Another example is a 45-year-old client I coached about three years ago, a wedding singer in Marbella. As you can imagine, he was the main attraction at the wedding, yet he never managed to get any dates as he was always working and never found time to speak to women.

Unusual situation because he was seducing women with his voice and yet had no opportunity to exchange details. So I restyled him with a 1940’s Frank Sinatra look, complete with a Fedora hat. I then got him to place the hat on the girl giving him the go-ahead signs when he was singing. The girl would then have to seek him out later to return the hat – bingo!

For more information about the power of seduction, I have created the infographic below to teach you about seductive male archetypes. You should also read my how to seduce women featured article.

The 5 male archetypes that seduce women

Seductive language

The most effective secret seduction technique is to use seductive phrases with women.

Seductive phrases are small expressions that we can use during our conversations with women to influence their thinking.

Before we go any further, it is essential to understand the difference between influence and persuasion for ethical reasons.


Persuasion is the action of persuading someone to act in a certain way.

This means if a girl does not want to come on a date with us, we fall into the pattern of trying to persuade her to join.

Persuasion for me means entering into a scarcity, desperate and try-hard mentality with women.


Influence is when we have the power to affect people or things.

This means that we use the power of influence when we ask a girl to join us on a date.

Influence for me means staying in an abundant, carefree and confident mentality with women.

Influential phrases

Here are three influential phrases that you can add to your vocabulary:

  • “Have you ever…” 
  • “What is it like when…”
  • “If we were to…”

These are powerful because they influence the listener to picture, imagine or remember a particular memory, feeling or emotion.

Seductive phrases

Here are three examples of how to mould these phrases into seductive phrases:

  • “Have you ever kissed someone within a few minutes?” 
  • “What is it like when you like someone and want to be close to them?”
  • “If we were to be adventurous right now, what could we do?”

As you read these examples, you would have imagined something specific in your mind – that was me influencing your thoughts.

Seductive storytelling

I have been teaching these principles to a 39-year-old client on Skype over the past three months. One of his dating aspirations is to be able to create a sexual vibe with women.

The first step in this process is understanding the 12 steps to intimacy with women.

I have created the following infographic to help you understand sexual tension and seductive stories. I recommend also reading my how to create sexual tension with women article, where I cover the steps to intimacy in detail.

Five different techniques to seduce women

Best seduction techniques

The best seduction technique is to use a strategy called intermittent texting.

Intermittent texting is when you have set hours during the day to send and reply to women’s messages.

For example, you have set times of:

  • 12:00 to 1:00 pm
  • 8:00 to 9:00 pm

During these two-hour zones, you can message as much as you want. However, as soon as each hour ends, you stop texting.

Seductive texting strategy

Intermittent texting is an excellent seductive technique because:

  • Women will be thinking about you between your texting times
  • It sets up a healthy boundary that is alluring and magnetic to women
  • If you send her a message late at night, she will be thinking about you until the morning

In my experience, we tend to want to text women we like too much, so let intermittent texting and silence seduce women for you.

Below you will find my texting infographic guide for a snapshot of the best texting strategies. You can also read my how to text women article for more information.

Top eleven techniques to seduce women over text message

Powerful seduction techniques

The most powerful seduction technique is to set firm boundaries with women.

The more boundaries you set, the more you sub-communicate that you are a confident man with his life in order.

The anti-seducer

Here is an example of a man who cannot seduce women:

  • It is fine for a girl to get back to him about a time for a date
  • He pays for all of the drinks and food on a date
  • He replies to all her messages within ten minutes

As you can see, there are no boundaries here and, therefore, no reason for a woman to feel seduced.

The seducer

Here is an example of a man who seduces women:

  • He gives women a time for a date with a deadline for them to confirm
  • The bill for food and drinks are split
  • He replies to women’s messages when he has time

When you set these boundaries with women, they will be thinking about why you have such strong boundaries when you are not in their presence. There is a degree of mystery about you and how you spend your time. This is otherwise known as a seduction!

I can teach you modern seduction techniques, some of which we have touched upon in this article. To find out more, visit our transformational confidence courses page.


  • Understanding that attraction is in the moment, and seduction is when a girl thinks about you when you are no longer there.
  • Add seductive phrases to your vocabulary. “Have you ever, what is it like when, if you were to…” These allow you to influence a woman’s thoughts.
  • Use intermittent texting. This is where you text women during set hours in your day, and you do not text them at all outside of those hours.
  • When organising a date: “I’m busy on these two dates, I’m free at this time, but let me know by midday tomorrow, as if not I will make other plans.” This is a very seductive behaviour that only someone confident would do.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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