Seduction Techniques | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2021)

Seduction Techniques | The Ultimate Guide (updated 2021)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article you will learn seduction techniques that you can use to seduce women. I have also updated this feature to include stories of clients of mine implementing these strategies in their dating lives to give you more context on how and when to use each principle.

In this ultimate guide you will discover:

  • The psychology of seduction (and attraction)
  • Secret seduction techniques (using language)
  • How to seduce women (over text message)

Once you understand the true meaning of seduction your life will be forever altered.

Seduction quotes

Here are my favourite quotes on seduction:

“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.” Voltaire

I suppose that romantic love was invented as a brilliant means of seduction. Sigmund Freud

“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” Pablo Picasso

Seduction techniques female psychology

To understand female psychology enough to seduce women, we must first understand the difference between attraction and seduction.

Attraction is when you are in the physical presence of a girl.

Seduction is when a girl thinks about you when you are no longer together.

Psychology of attraction

To understand the psychology of attraction, let us look at a common scenario for single men:

You are on a night out with a girl that you like. You talk to each other and even exchange details. Yet, when you text her the following day she does not reply.

The reason for this is because you were attractive to her at that moment, yet you did not seduce her.

Psychology of seduction

Now let us move on to understanding the psychology of seduction using other common examples:

You are training hard at the gym, performing music in public or looking after a cute dog. All of a sudden a girl appears, you exchange details and she messages you first.

You have seduced this girl because she has been thinking about you since you left the interaction.

Real-life seductions

I recall teaching this principle to a 38-year-old client of mine two years ago who owns a dog walking company. He employed staff that would usually walk the dogs for him. When he became aware of the true meaning of seduction he opted to take the cute puppies and train them in busy areas where he knew women would be walking in the park. I explained that the more professional he appeared in his work, the more women would appear. Needless to say, every day he had one or two women approaching and exchanging details with him. In essence, he was seducing women while getting paid to work!

Another example is a 45-year-old client I coached about three years ago who was a wedding singer in Marbella. As you can imagine he was the main attraction at the wedding, yet he never managed to get any dates as he was always working and never found time to speak to women. Unusual situation because he was seducing women with his voice and yet had no opportunity to exchange details. So I restyled him with a 1940’s Frank Sinatra look complete with a Fedora hat. I then got him to place the hat on the girl that was giving him go-ahead-signs when he singing. The girl would then have to seek him out later to return the hat – bingo!

For more information about the power of seduction, I have created the infographic below to teach you about seductive male archetypes. You should also read my how to seduce women featured article.

The 5 male archetypes that seduce women

Secret seduction techniques

The most effective secret seduction technique is to use seductive phrases with women.

Seductive phrases are small expressions that we can use during our conversation with women to influence their thinking.

Before we go any further it is important to first understand the difference between influence and persuasion for ethical reasons.


Persuasion is the action of persuading someone to act in a certain way.

This means if a girl does not want to come on a date with us then we fall into the pattern of trying to persuade her to join.

Persuasion for me means entering into a scarcity, desperate and try-hard mentality with women.


Influence is when we have the power to have an effect on people or things.

This means that we use the power of influence when we ask a girl to join us on a date.

Influence for me means staying in an abundant, care-free and confident mentality with women.

Influential phrases

Here are three influential phrases that you can add to your vocabulary:

  • “Have you ever…” 
  • “What is it like when…”
  • “If we were to…”

The reason why these are powerful is that they influence the listener to picture, imagine or remember a certain memory, feeling or emotion.

Seductive phrases

Here are three examples of how to mould these phrases into seductive phrases:

  • “Have you ever kissed someone within a few minutes?” 
  • “What is it like when you like someone and want to be close to them?”
  • “If we were to be adventurous right now what could we do?”

As you read these examples you would have imagined something specific in your mind – that was me influencing your thoughts.

Seductive storytelling

I have been teaching these principles to a 39-year-old client of mine on Skype over the past three months. One of his dating aspirations is to be able to create a sexual vibe with women.

The first step in this process is to understand the 12 steps to intimacy with women.

I have created the following infographic to help you to understand sexual tension and seductive stories. I recommend also reading my how to create sexual tension with women article where I cover the steps to intimacy in detail.

Five different techniques to seduce women

Best seduction techniques

The best seduction technique is to use a strategy called intermittent texting.

Intermittent texting is when you have set hours during the day when you can send and reply to women’s messages.

For example, you have set times of:

  • 12:00 to 1:00 pm
  • 8:00 to 9:00 pm

During these two-hour zones, you can message as much as you want. However, as soon as each hour ends you stop texting.

Seductive texting strategy

Intermittent texting is a great seductive technique because:

  • Women will be thinking about you between your texting times
  • It sets up a healthy boundary that is alluring and magnetic to women
  • If you send her a message late at night she will be thinking about you until the morning

In my experience, we tend to want to text women we like too much so let intermittent texting and silence seduce women for you.

Below you will find my texting infographic guide for a snapshot of the best texting strategies. You can also read my how to text women article for more information.

Top eleven techniques to seduce women over text message

Powerful seduction techniques

The most powerful seduction techniques are to set strong boundaries with women.

The more boundaries that you set, the more you sub-communicate that you are a confident man with his life in order.

The anti-seducer

Here is an example of a man who cannot seduce women:

  • It is fine for a girl to get back to him about a time for a date
  • He pays for all of the drinks and food on a date
  • He replies to all her messages within ten minutes

As you can see there are no boundaries here and therefore no reason for a woman to feel seduced.

The seducer

Here is an example of a man who seduces women:

  • He gives women a time for a date with a deadline for them to confirm
  • The bill for food and drinks are split
  • He replies to women’s messages when he has time

When you set these boundaries with women they will be thinking about why you have such strong boundaries when you are not in their presence. There is a degree of mystery about you and how you spend your time. This is otherwise known as a seduction!

As you can see by the image below, I can teach you modern seduction techniques; some of which we have touched upon in this article. To find out more visit my live training page and schedule a consultation call.

Modern looking at camera next to three seduction techniques


  • Understanding that attraction is in the moment and seduction is when a girl thinks about you when you are no longer there.
  • Add seductive phrases to your vocabulary. “Have you ever, what is it like when, if you were to…” These allow you to influence a woman’s thoughts.
  • Use intermittent texting. This is where you text women during set hours in your day and you do not text them at all outside of those hours.
  • When organising a date: “I’m busy on these two dates, I’m free at this time, but let me know by midday tomorrow, as if not I will make other plans.” This is a very seductive behaviour that only someone who is confident would do.

Seduction books

The Art Of Seduction by Robert Greene

Desire: 100 of Literature’s Sexiest Stories by Mariella Frostrup

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

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