Sexual Appeal To Women | Three Common Myths (what women desire)

Sexual Appeal To Women | Three Common Myths (what women desire)

Sexual Appeal To Women | Three Common Myths (what women desire)

Sexual Appeal To Women | Three Common Myths (what women desire)

Sexual Appeal To Women | Three Common Myths (what women desire)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Okay, welcome back to today’s episode where we’re going to be discussing Christian Grey from the book and film series Fifty Shades of Grey. Now, this book is, I think, the biggest and fastest-selling book of all time. And the movies have also done really well and, specifically I, I think one of the main reasons is the archetype of Christian Grey and in this episode I’d to just discuss three of his character traits which we can all learn from.

So, specifically, they are first of all that he’s a success in life. Second of all is that he’s not afraid to put his frame outright at the start of meeting new women, which is super attractive. And third of all, he’s not afraid to go after what he wants in life.

So, let’s start off with the first one, which is the fact that he’s successful. I mean, in the book, I mean, this guy is, is young, he’s in his twenties, and he’s a huge success, running all these different companies, you know, flying out in helicopters taking her out to all of these, you know, amazing places and showing off, you know, his attributes as a man.

And why I think this is interesting is because obviously being a success in life is attractive to women, because there are so many things that need to happen for you to become successful.

So, you have to work with other people, you have to get along with people, you have to be, generally speaking, have a good IQ level. Typically speaking as well, you need to be a disagreeable person, which means that you have confidence. So, the fact that you’re a success in life doesn’t necessarily just mean that you have loads of money. It’s more the fact of the type of person it takes to become a success in life is attractive to women.

And we often find this. With younger guys, you know, it’s not just people that end up at the epitome of success, because I think most guys typically are into their fifties before they start accumulating wealth. It’s more the fact that at a young age they have a goal, they have a vision, and they’re working towards something, and that is highly attractive to women because that type of character, although they may not be successful now, in the future it’s quite likely that they will be. And typically women are drawn to this kind of individual, especially at a younger age.

Obviously Christian Grey is a young guy, and he’s already got success, which just makes him even like, more super attractive to women. So, that’s the first one and, for anyone who is listening to this podcast and, you know, isn’t dedicating their life to increasing their status or to becoming, not necessarily, more wealthy, but working towards something so that your life and career are a success, that is going to be highly attractive to women. And you can talk to them about it when you meet them.

There’s an energy there and things just flow better when you have that, something about yourself striving towards something better.

The second thing I wanted to talk about was his framing in relationships, so, you know, everyone talks about the contract from the Christian Grey film, so if anyone doesn’t know what happens, he, he basically gets her to sign a contract of, you know, agreeing to all of these things that he’s going to do to her. And, you know, it’s not a legally binding contract. I, I don’t think that’s the point. The point is that he wanted to be direct and upfront about what he wanted and expected from a relationship.

And in the book, they do that via a contract which she can edit and then give back to him. But, the important lesson here is that he had a set of values and standards that he wanted from a relationship. And, you know, he specifically didn’t sleep with her until she looked at the contract in more detail. He actually completely delayed that gratification until he was happy that they were both on the same page.

And that is such an important lesson because how many of us in relationships typically … we meet a girl who’s fairly attractive and we start forgetting what it is that we really want. So, something that I teach in my courses is to just have some kind of idea on the characteristics of your ideal girl.

So, some of these are going to be looks, but a lot of them are going to be personality traits, such as kindness, openness, being supportive. I mean, everyone’s different, right?

So, I’m not telling you what to look for in a woman, but what I’m saying is that you should have some kind of guiding principle as to the attributes that you would like in women. And the way that you can do that is to just have maybe five or six attributes that you look for, and then, when you meet women, you can talk about them and, and, you can discuss and through conversation you can find out whether they are that type of woman, and whether you think there’s going to be, you know, what type of relationship you want to have with them.

So, I think, you know, that is probably one of the most attractive things about Christian Grey, is the fact that he’s not afraid to say what he wants right at the start. And there’s something powerful about telling the truth and … Well, I’ve alluded it to, to it in many of my previous podcast episodes, but, being honest and open with women at the start about what you want with relationship from them, yes, it’s going to put certain women off, but at the same point, that honest and directness is just going to save so much time, effort, and energy for the women, for you.

And also, a lot of the time, if you actually say what you want, you know, and you’re confident about it and you’ve thought about it, typically women are also drawn to that. Because you’re putting a standard on your life and what you’re willing to accept in it. And you know, I’m sure you could imagine that listening to this, if we go a level deeper, you know, it’s not just about meeting women. It’s actually about putting a standard on yourself in life.

What types of behaviours aren’t acceptable, and you can start putting it out there a little bit more that these are the types of things that you would like to have and be around in your life.

And, putting a value on yourself, again, I alluded to this in a, a podcast about Julius Caesar, you know, it’s all down to the same thing, right? Our time’s important, we’re important, and what we want from life’s important. So, we shouldn’t be afraid of vocalising that to people for fear of rejection.

Now, the final thing about Christian Grey, which is, you know, super attractive, I mean, there are loads of different ones and obviously he’s quite a chaotic character at the same point, which is also quite attractive. But, he’s not afraid to go after what he wants. And also break a few rules along the way.

So, you know, initially with the contract in the book, he was very specific about what he wanted. And then he ended up staying the night at her house. So, he like, broke his own rule. And that’s kind of … I find that really an interesting attribute, you know, to look at as an archetype because I think it’s important to be strong when we first meet people.

This is in business, in relationships, and specifically with women, about this is who I am and this is what I want and, you know, being not over the top but being very specific at the start.

Because you can always soften your stance later, whereas if you start a relationship and you start off being soft, you know, trying to harden yourself up later becomes way more difficult.

You’re may … you’re much better to actually say to, say to women, “Look, this is how I am, this is what I want.” And then you can always like, lessen it as the relationship unfolds, or make an exception, and guess what? That’s exciting, you know? You’re … what you’re really saying to a girl is, “I’m allowing you to influence me and influence my behaviour away from where I am.” And that’s super attractive.

And I think that you know, it’s worth doing occasionally. If you start doing it too much, again it loses its power. So, there’s certainly something there about, you know, being specific about where you’re going, but occasionally, you know, bending the rules around the woman that you like. It’s funny, the Christian Grey books. I mean, they have sold so many copies and then obviously the films have come out and, and they’ve done really well, and I always find it funny when I’d recommend my clients read Fifty Shades of Grey because they’re like, “Oh, you know, it’s just this, this, this nonsense book.”

But think about it how many of these books have sold, a lot of women are talking about it and reading about it. There is something about this archetype which is attractive.

And I’ve alluded to two, or I’ve alluded to three of them so far in this episode, and as I say, I think it’s, it’s important to maybe stay current with you know, not necessarily romance novels, but you know, what types of things are women buying into at the moment and what are they finding attractive.

And as a single guy, I would highly recommend that you go and you read Fifty Shades, or if you don’t read it, then maybe you go and watch the film. And, and, read it with the insights of what is it that women are finding attractive about this guy.

And as I say, I’ve mentioned three in this podcast, so perhaps you can re-listen to this before you read the book. But, it’s a fairly short book and I just, I found it fascinating. It’s very easy to read and I think you really get a sense of some of the things that women are drawn to like on a, on an innate level. I hope you enjoyed this episode and I shall catch tomorrow.


Get My Latest Dating Tips
Straight To Your Inbox

Gain access to my latest dating advice.
Emailed to you every week.

*100% secure. We will not share, spam or sell your information.

Social Attraction Dating Tips Newsletter