How To Create Sexual Tension With Women | Everything You Need To Know

How To Create Sexual Tension With Women | Everything You Need To Know

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, you will learn how to create sexual tension with women. Including body language tips, signs to look out for and the one guaranteed way to induce a mutual feeling of sexual allurement with women.

In this tutorial, you will discover how to:

As you will learn in this article, the more confident you are as a man the more you will be able to generate, increase and enjoy sexual tension with women.

What is sexual tension?

In essence, sexual tension is when there is a sexual desire from one person to another that has not yet resulted in sex.

Tension occurs the moment you become sexually attracted to someone.

Above all, sexual desire is a wish, whereas sexual tension is a physical feeling in your body.

Why is sexual tension important?

Tension is important because it allows you to generate instinctive responses in women that will enable you to progress your relationship together.

Indeed, without sexual tension, men are often placed in a woman’s friend-zone with no possible escape.

What causes sexual tension?

Sexual tension is caused by a desire to have sex with a woman.

In fact, the more you desire intimacy, the more sexual tension you are going to feel in your body.

Sexual arousal can be created in a man in the following ways:

  • By a woman’s beauty
  • The suggestion of possible sex
  • Via deep eye contact and physical contact

Moreover, knowing what creates sexual arousal in your body can help you to alleviate the feeling of sexual frustration.

Similarly having an understanding of what creates sexual attraction in a woman will also help you determine how to incite it.

How to create sexual tension?

Sexual tension is created when there is a desire to have sex with someone.

Therefore to create sexual tension with a woman, you have to accordingly kindle a desire for her to want to have sex with you.

Over the years I have spoken about various ways that you can do this through:

  • Leadership
  • Creativity
  • intelligence

However, for the first time, I am going to be writing about a more powerful way to create sexual tension with women – this is through seductive storytelling.

Still, there is some core understanding that you need before understanding how to use seductive storytelling to create sexual tension.

Dr Dobson’s 12 steps to intimacy

Dr James Dobson has developed a twelve steps of intimacy theory.

These are the steps that men and women go through from first meeting each other through to having sex.

1. Eye to body – This is when you first notice a sexually attractive member of the opposite sex

2. Eye to eye – The initial eye contact

3. Voice to voice – Your first conversation together

4. Hand to hand – This is your first body contact

5. Hand to shoulder – A more intimate touch

6. Hand to waist – Close physical contact together

7. Face to face – The first kiss

8. Hand to head – Takes place during the next kissing phase

9. Hand to the body – Where the kissing progresses with more tension

10. Mouth to breast – No explanation required

11. Touching below the waist – No explanation required

12. Intercourse – No explanation required

How to build sexual tension?

As you can imagine, physically going through these twelve steps with women can be difficult depending on the circumstances and environment.

However, telling a story where the characters go through these steps significantly has the effect of igniting an erotic aspect to the conversation.

Furthermore, as you go through an erotic story adding in anticipation, pausing and excitement to the narrative, allows a woman to go on the journey herself and therefore feel the same way as if she were the main character.

This type of storytelling, as with all seductive moments, is a gift that you can give a woman to induce some excitement, passion and escapism.

Seductive storytelling

The best way to get a true understanding of seductive stories is to read Desire: 100 of Literature’s Sexiest Stories by Mariella Frostrup.

In this book, you can read 100 short erotic stories that will illuminate how you can tell similar stories to women.

In a nutshell, recounting any of the stories in this book (especially the first one) will add an erotic tone to your conversations with women.

How to tell seductive stories?

One of the great aspects of my Skype dating confidence coaching is that I get to teach my clients how to tell seductive stories to my female coaching assistants.

The format is perfect as we get to film the sessions and watch them back afterwards. Moreover, when I am teaching seductive storytelling I do not let the girls know what my clients are practising.

This way they get a real-life response from women.

Most importantly, this process has illuminated key aspects of seductive storytelling that I can share with you to assist you in the real world:

  • Pausing

There is nothing more boring than someone telling a story without any form of engagement from the listener.

Indeed, the aim of a seductive story is to take a woman on a journey through the erotic story.

So asking her to imagine each step of the process will accordingly increase her participation.

A few examples:

“They got eye contact and knew right away that they liked each other; have you ever felt like this?”

“Then he touched her hand for the first time and she felt a surge of energy through her body; has something like this happened to you?”

“Just before their first kiss they paused and looked deep into each other’s eyes; have you ever had this experience?”

In short, by taking the time to pause and ask a question you are inviting a woman to enjoy the full experience.

  • Pace

A seductive story can and should be told over a period of an evening or a few hours.

Therefore be sure to venture off-topic and explore other conversational themes as they arise and then go back to the story when the time feels right.

In contrast, if you just go through the story, it fails to build enough tension as you are trying to tell the story rather than sharing an experience.

  • Tension

Most importantly, if there is no sexual tension at the end then there is no point in telling a seductive story.

Accordingly, get to the part of the story where the anticipation is at the highest (which is usually just before the first kiss) and do not finish the story.

Remember the aim is to increase the sexual anticipation. In fact, when you release the tension in the story you lose the real-life impact.

Therefore keep in mind that sexual tension takes time to build, but at the same point, can be lost in an instant.

How to tell if there is sexual tension?

You will know if you are creating sexual tension with a woman when her body language, eye contact and mannerisms change in a positive way.

When you are telling seductive stories look out for signs that indicate sexual tension.

For instance:

  • She will stop, pause, and think about what you are saying
  • A woman may start to blush, flush, and look excited
  • She will hold deeper eye contact with you as you progress the story
  • A woman may move closer to you over the course of an evening
  • She will start to exhibit signs that she is attracted to you

How to tell if sexual tension is mutual?

You can tell if sexual tension is mutual because both of you will:

  • Want to spend more time together
  • Touch each other more often than normal
  • Hold penetrating eye contact with a strong feeling

On the other hand, if sexual tension is not mutual then it can lead to a feeling of sexual frustration.

Sexual frustration needs to be addressed otherwise it can take control over your life and, moreover, lead you on a negative life spiral.

The good news is that managing sexual urges has been a theme of spiritual practices for thousands of years.

Sexual tension body language?

Here are some body language signs of sexual tension that show she is feeling sexual tension with you:

  • Over the top deep eye contact to make it clear that she likes you
  • She moves closer to you than she needs to and may touch you too
  • Pausing between her sentences to force intimate eye contact

Negative body language for sexual tension

There are some cast-iron ways that will cause you to inhibit sexual tension from forming with women via your body language.

These include:

  • Looking away rather than holding tense eye contact
  • Speaking too fast when you should slow down
  • Moving physically away from a woman

The main reason why you exhibit these body language behaviours around women that you find attractive is because of your insecurities.

However, having an awareness of these insecurities is the first step to eradicating them from your behaviours.

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  • Sexual tension is a feeling within our bodies
  • We can generate sexual allurement with women via the use of seductive stories
  • Seductive stories allow women to go on an erotic journey of sexual freedom
  • Sexual frustration can be handled by reducing your sexual desires
  • Sexual desires can be reduced by letting go of our attachments through meditation

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
Dating Coach