Speed Dating – How To Speed Date Successfully (Cheat Sheet)
Speed Dating – How To Speed Date Successfully (Cheat Sheet)
Speed Dating – How To Speed Date Successfully (Cheat Sheet)
We’re pleased to announce our brand new collaboration with SpeedDater; the UK’s leading speed dating company. As a result, we’ve decided to write the following article offering single men the latest advice on how to improve their results at speed dating functions.
Loads of single women all in one room with the sole aim of meeting their ideal guy; sounds great right? Whilst this is correct, we’ve noticed that there are certain strategies we can implement which allow us to make a more impactful impression during the course of a speed dating event.
So we’re happy to offer the following ‘cheat sheet’ or guide on how to get the most from a speed dating experience.
The Benefits of Speed dating
At Social Attraction, we have a community filled with all of our previous and existing clients that have been speed dating for over a decade. Over that period we’ve been working as a team; learning, testing and refining all different types of strategies.
What we’ve found is that in addition to utilising online dating (if you haven’t got a copy of Gary Gunn’s best selling online dating book you can grab a copy here) and approaching and interacting with women during our normal daily activities (which you can find out more about on our live training page), speed dating should also make up a part of our global dating strategy.
Speed dating is a wonderful opportunity to allocate specific time where we know that we are going to be able to meet single women; often this can take some pressure off feeling lonely and single as this offers hope. In a nutshell, speed dating is a good idea and after reading this article you should look to book your first event.
The Science of Speed dating
One scientifically proven fact by Robert Cialdini is that we are intrinsically drawn towards ‘scarcity’; meaning that the fact that we are at a speed dating event indicates that we have a lack of dating options in our lives.
So when we are attending speed dating events we have to ensure that we are sub-communicating other attractive qualities to counteract this concern. The more high-status indicators we can give off over the course of the evening, the more matches we’ll be left with at the end of the night.
One great strategy to implement is to get to the event early and speak to the other men who are attending as it enables us to get warmed up conversationally. It also allows us to be having fun and socialising when women arrive; this ensures that we generate the best possible first impression.
Questions To Ask During Speed Dating
Many of us will search online for the best questions to ask women at a speed dating event; the issue is that most of us then end up asking girls the same types of questions time and again. From a female perspective, this instantly makes us come across as boring, unimaginative and lacking social awareness.
One great way to combat this is to make statements as opposed to asking questions. So rather than asking women questions like what they do for a living or where they are from; instead just take an educated guess. It really doesn’t matter whether we guess right or wrong, the point here is to separate ourselves from the standard interview type questions that most men will ask her over the course of the evening.
When we employ this strategy we’ve noticed that our interactions are more engaging, spontaneous and fun. From a girl’s perspective; we’ve instantly set ourselves apart from the other men that she’s met that evening. When it comes to ticking boxes at the end of the night we want to be the guy that she remembers for being different, intriguing and socially intelligent.
Does Speed Dating Work For Guys?
One of the most powerful principles that we’ve found works at speed dating events is the art of being mysterious. The more enigmatic we come across, the more women will want to know more about us. Think about why we watch films all the way to their conclusion; it’s because we want to know what happens at the end. A mystery is powerful and a mystery is attractive.
The best way to do this is to be vague with our answers and not give away too much information about ourselves. There is a process of dating and nothing is more unattractive to women than a man speaking too much and trying to convey he’s amazing. Instead, take the opposite approach and allow women to want to find out more about us.
Remember the final result of speed dating is to generate matches at the end of the evening so that we can continue to get to know each other on a more intimate date. By being mysterious we are offering women a cliff-hanger moment where they’ll want to see us again to see what happens next.
Body Language To Utilise At Speed Dating Events
Normally when we meet women we tend to keep our body language facing directly towards them; we’ve noticed that this tends to create pressure and normally ends up being like an interview as opposed to a fun interaction. Instead of sitting facing women; sit with your body facing slightly away from the girl, at a 30-degree angle is fine. This immediately reduces the pressure and allows the girl (and us) to be in a more relaxed mood.
The other main body language error that occurs when speed dating is that men tend to lean in too much when they are talking to women. This comes across as desperate and try-hard, whilst also putting unnecessary pressure on the interaction. Instead, sit back and relax, and if you can’t hear what she is saying then ask her to speak louder.
Likewise if women can’t hear what you are saying then speak louder; this often also allows us to speak slower and as a result, come across as more confident. The main point about our body language is that we should be relaxed; like we are sitting in a coffee shop conversing with our close friends.
Eye Contact & Smiling At Speed Dating Events
Sexual tension is one of the most powerful ways to create attraction in women. It’s been scientifically proven that the more prolonged our eye contact is with girls the more we begin to release “love hormones”, “oxytocin” and “endorphins” which are all linked to the feeling of attraction.
One of the best ways to hold eye contact with women is after we’ve finished speaking; we simply hold her gaze until she breaks the silence and speaks first. This may feel uncomfortable initially, but with some practice, you’ll begin to feel more relaxed utilising this strategy and you’ll feel the sexual tension growing.
Smiling and laughing is one of the common ways that we tend to break sexual tension. Contrary to popular advice; when we are speaking to women and sexual tension is being created, this is the time when we don’t want to smile or laugh. We want that tension to continue to grow and not interrupt it in any way. If you watch any Hollywood romance films; you’ll notice there is always the silent pause with eye contact before that very first kiss.
What To Wear Speed Dating
The general advice that we offer men at our live training events is to wear fitted clothes. This includes making sure that your jeans/trousers aren’t too long, your blazers are tailored and you’ve taken the time to iron all of your clothes.
With regards to attire, it’s important to remember that women are more likely to notice if we are dressed badly as opposed to if we are dressed well. So as a bare minimum make sure your hygiene is up to standard by showering, brushing your teeth and having some fresh mints before and during the event.
One final piece of advice is that sometimes speed dating events can be rather warm and when mixed with the stress of talking to attractive women can lead you to sweat more. So make sure you’re wearing extra antiperspirant or clothing which doesn’t show off sweat patches.
Aftershave, Accessories & Socks To Wear Speed Dating
Accessories are a great way to illuminate our personality; be it a unique necklace, a smart watch or even brightly coloured socks. Our aim is to make it as easy as possible for women to want to converse with us, and accessories allow us to do this in a non-verbal way. You’ll know if you’ve got it right because a few different women will ask you the same types of questions referring to your accessories.
When it comes to aftershave; wearing a nice scent instantly arouses a woman’s sensations in a way that most men often overlook. Similarly to our clothes, the aim here is to not smell bad as that puts women off (including our breath). The best thing to do is to ask a few female friends what their favourite men’s scent is and then go and test a few; selecting the best one for you as an individual. Once again take note if you receive compliments from women as this will show that you’re on the right track.
One of our clients wears a hat to speed dating events and puts his hat on the girl’s head that he likes the most; knowing that she’ll have to return it to him later and continue the conversation. We’re not advising you do the same; but rather look for unique ways to highlight your personality through the use of accessories.
How To Still Get Results Speed Dating
Rather than looking at speed dating as a one-off event; we’ve found that it’s better to view it as part of a larger dating strategy. For example, if we are able to meet other like-minded single men at the events, then they could also serve as good wingmen to go out together and meet other single women.
The other benefit of meeting other men at the events is that they may have a social circle of single women that they can also introduce you to; meaning that we are not just limited to meeting the women at the event. Don’t be afraid to ask the other guys if they have any single friends that they think would like you.
For bonus points at a speed dating event; if you have single female friends then attend the event together. Already being with women instantly conveys a lot of good characteristics and will allow you to make a better first impression; meaning that the girls will generally be warmer in conversation during your allotted time together.
Instant Date After Speed Dating
When we go speed dating; we should approach it with confidence. This means assuming that we are going to go on an instant date with one of the women immediately after the event. Often girls will not be by themselves at speed dating events; so selecting suitable group venues with a nice environment, for example, a secret cocktail bar just around the corner, makes it very easy for women to join us.
The other aim as alluded to earlier is that if you made friends with the other guys there; then it’s likely that one of them will match with one of the other girls and then you can all go on an instant date together. This allows both of the women to feel safe as part of a group environment.
Once you have left the speed dating event you are now no longer individuals who have gone to a speed dating function; instead, you are a group of people going out to have fun together. You’ll notice that the dynamic changes and becomes far more relaxed, fun and engaging.
Games To Play After Speed Dating
One of the best ways to get to know women on a date is to play a fun game. This takes the pressure of the interaction and allows you to get to know each other under the rules of a fun and engaging game. We’ve found that having a game to play within a group is also extremely powerful as it allows everyone to participate; it also allows us to lead the group interactions which is highly alluring to women.
On our live training courses, we teach a really fun game known as “the questions game”. This game has such great parameters and can be used on a solo date, in groups or even over text messaging. The reason why we love this game is that it’s never the same, and often we get some amazing questions posed to us which we’ve never considered before.
Playing fun games on dates also allows us to highlight our social intelligence; by not getting bogged down in boring questions and keeping the engagement lighthearted. The more fun we have the more likely that women will want to see us again in person. As an extra tip always organise the next time you’ll see each other there and then, as liaising calenders can be difficult over text messages.
Want More Guidance Speed Dating?
If you’d like to get even better results speed dating or in real life scenarios with women then you can claim your free dating consultation here. You’ll be able to find out more about the various courses that we offer that will help you to become more attractive to women.
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