Strength With Women | How To Make An Impactful First Impression

Strength With Women | How To Make An Impactful First Impression

Strength With Women | How To Make An Impactful First Impression

Strength With Women | How To Make An Impactful First Impression

Strength With Women | How To Make An Impactful First Impression

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Okay welcome back to today’s episode, where we’re going to be looking at the Marvel character, Captain America. Now there’s one specific area that I’d like to focus on and that is his moral integrity. Now if anyone’s seen the first Captain American film, there’s a really powerful scene right at the beginning of the film or within the first half an hour where he’s getting drafted and they’re really checking him out to see how good he would be as like the ultimate soldier.

And they ask him a question where they say, “Do you just want to kill Nazis?” And he responds by saying, “I just want to stand up to bullies.” And what you’re getting there is like a sense of who he really is as a person. You know he’s not saying yes, I want to do that. I want to fight for America.

What he’s saying is his own reason. Yes, specifically I want to stand up for bullies and the reason why he’s like that is obviously because it’s an insecurity in his life because he’s been a very small, weak person whose been bullied his whole life.

And what he’s managed to do is take his one biggest insecurity and turn it into his biggest strength.

And if you look at any of the Marvel films where Captain America is, they all, at any stage where there’s like a moral conundrum it always reverts back to Captain America who gives his opinion because it’s valued and we see throughout the film in different scenarios, for example, he, I think he failed five times when he was applying for his job and made it the sixth time.

So you see that there’s something about him where you know he really just wants to stand up to bullies and it emanates out of his every, like his whole being. And if we look through history, there are also some other examples of people that have been willing to stand up for what they believe in. So if you think about Martin Luther King we have is equality. If you look at Gandhi we see peace. And if we see Buddha, we see peace of mind and if you look behind the scenes with any one of these three people, anyone in history the reason why they’re remembered is because they take the one thing that is most important to them generally the, an insecurity or you know something that’s unfair in the world and they decide to do something about it and it emanates from them.

Their whole persona shifts completely and why I want to draw on this is because I don’t think many of us have really ever taken a look at our life to see you know what should we really stand up for in our lives. What are we willing to put ourselves on the line to defend? You know were you bullied at school? Did something happen to you when you were a kid that you didn’t believe in? Are you seeing equality within the world that you’re living in at the moment?

And I think it’s important to really think about this and look through your life and make a decision about how you would like to live your life going forward.

So if we just do a little fun visual fun game for the minute. If you imagine that the last five years of your life that you had Captain America’s view on bullying and inequality, you couldn’t begin to see how different the last five years of your life would have played out because you’d have put something different at the apex of your life. If you’d have taken Einstein and taken you know the absolute truth you can imagine the last five years of your life would have played out very differently.

And it’s the same when you take on any like moral characteristical value that you cherish or that you want to develop your life towards. It’s always the same and the reason why I want to bring this up in this episode as I say, is because I think it’s important that we establish what it is about us that makes us unique and you know we’re either writing it out or making a decision now that that is important to me and I’m going to stand up for it and that’s going to emanate from me. And I think that is such an important lesson.

I mean if we, if we take this like a level further right? What does it say about someone who has nothing to stand up for in their life? I mean if you imagine now you know, someone who doesn’t have anything they really care about or they’re willing to stand up for. Immediately we’re picturing someone who’s weak right? We’re picturing someone who hasn’t got anything about them where they’re willing to make a stand and this is a very agreeable person right? And obviously off the back of that also very unattractive person.

Now if we counter that with someone who has one thing in their life that they really care about right, there’s this one area where I really care about this…

Whether it’s developing kids in sport because maybe you had an injury when you were younger, but something about a specific individual that has something that they’re willing to stand up for. Instantly when you think about this person, typically their body language will be bigger, stronger. They’ll be looking up higher. I mean this is a person who you want to be around because there’s something about them which is unique and just that little example I think should be inspiring to all of us to stand up for more things.

And I think the aim of this specific episode really is just to draw the Captain America example, right? Whenever you think about Captain America, it is his moral integrity and obviously being a moral person is a great attribute, but it’s not necessarily you know at the helm of all of us. So as long as we can select something which is unique to us, but also for the good you know I don’t think it’s good to suggest anything chaotic here, but you know certainly something whether it’s overcoming adversity in your life. Whether it’s you know never quitting like Rocky. I did a podcast on that earlier there are always things about us that we can, enhance and make ourselves better off the back of it.

I’m just thinking if we can take this one level even further right. So imagine now that you’ve got two people. You’ve got one guy who’s willing to stand up for something and one guy who’s not. I mean clearly you know that there’s a more attractive person there. Now you’ve got a third guy who’s willing to do something about it and now he’s created a lifestyle around doing something about it.

You can begin to see how making a decision to just having something about you that you care about can begin to lead your life down a completely different route.

And you know having a lifestyle where you’re living, what you care about I mean is there anything more important than that? It’s okay for all of us to you know talk about these things, but I think actually living a life where you’re trying to do something about it and you know I can certainly say that in my life I’ve kind of given myself to helping people who you know struggle in relationships and dating because it’s an area that I really struggled in.

I mean after my car accident, my life was a metaphorical car crash. You know women didn’t want to talk to me. It was a truly horrendous position to be in and I took that weakness that I had and I’ve you know made it my life’s mission to turn that into my biggest strength and over the years and with all the setbacks, that emanates from me. It’s one of the main reasons why I’m doing this podcasts. It’s one of the main reasons why I put out so much content and try and help so many people.

So it all begins with that one decision, What am I willing to stand up for in my life? What’s that one thing?

And you know off the back of that as I’ve alluded to, you’re going to become more forthright in your thinking anyway, but you then over time will begin to do more things even in your spare time or even perhaps looking at a career change and really moving towards something you care about. And you know I see a lot of content on YouTube talking about you know specifically okay well, you know if you want to get to the top girls, then you know you need to create a social circle group in your new environment that you go to.

So you move to a new city, you go to the same bars, you do all these things, and every time I see content like that it makes me laugh because do you really care? Does anyone really care about places like that? I mean yes, if that’s you at your core, then I understand that you’d be the type of person that would go there, but you shouldn’t be trying to do that because if you’re not already doing it, it’s clearly not you.

And I always think to myself are you more likely to meet someone in trying to do something in your life just meet women, or if you give yourself to something that you truly care about because guess what? They’ll also be other women or other men along the way.

They’re also giving themselves for something they truly care about as well. And over the years my opinion about dating has been influenced many different ways from perhaps doing social circle stuff to meeting women during the day, to bars and night clubs, and whilst they’re all good, I cannot tell you the impact it makes to your life when you actually do something you genuinely care about.

You’ve got more energy, you’re more positive, you’re more up for it. And when you meet other people that are on a similar journey to you, guess what? You’ve got things in common and you don’t have to worry about what you’re going to say. You don’t have to worry about all of these different things that I cover in my podcast because really when you’re meeting people and you’ve got that much in common you know the rest is just going to unfold in front of you. I think Captain America is a great superhero and he really is a great person to look up to with moral fortitude.

So if you haven’t watched the film, obviously I highly recommend you watch it. In the first half an hour there are four or five different scenes where you really get a sense of this guy’s character. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will catch you tomorrow.


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