What To Text A Girl You Like | The Ultimate Guide (Top 6 Strategies)

What To Text A Girl You Like | The Ultimate Guide (Top 6 Strategies)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will be outlining what to text a girl that you like. The following techniques will save you time, effort and energy in your dating life.

Specifically, I will be covering the following:

  • How to send opening text messages
  • Pointers of how to keep a girl engaged
  • Tips on how to organise a first date

Essentially your text dialogue with women should match your personality in person, so bear this in mind with any messages that you send.

How you text women is linked to your ability to attract and date women. For help in this area why not book onto our next dating confidence course? You can watch reviews from our clients on YouTube here: Dating confidence course for men reviews:

Daygame dating course for men to regain confidence

What to text a girl you like for the first time?

Trying to organise a date or a time to get together with a girl via text can be:

  • Frustrating
  • Difficult
  • Time-consuming

This is especially true if you or she leads a busy life or has a lot going on.

Therefore when you are exchanging details with a girl that you have met and like, try and organise your next meeting there and then when you in the same physical presence.

Get your calendars together and sort out what you are going to do there and then.

This will save you so much time and energy.

Once you have done that, you can then later text a girl to confirm the details of the date.

The added benefits of this:

  • You don’t need to struggle to be funny or clever
  • This avoids any added strain of trying to be flirty
  • It takes the pressure off your ongoing text dialogue

Above all, it is simply a much easier process to organise the date when you are together.

You can then be more relaxed with the content of your messages. Moreover, you can also frame them around the details of your date.

My infographic below gives useful tips that will help you plan your first date.

You can read my extensive online dating tips for men article where I cover first date tips and more.

Three ways to make the most of your first date with women

How to keep a girl interested while texting?

There are a few things that I want to point out before I get to the actual dynamics of what you put in a message.

What most guys do most of the time when they like a girl is that they quickly become very available.

This means they show the following behaviours:

  • Constantly check their phones to see if she has replied
  • Text her all the time and respond immediately
  • Have a chasing mentality

In effect, this sets up the parameters of a relationship incorrectly at the start. As the relationship progresses this mindset also becomes untenable to sustain.

Use intermittent texting

My belief is that you should allocate certain periods in your day when you can text women back. Outside of those assigned hours, you then have no text dialogue with women.

This is known as intermittent texting.

For example, you can text the girl that you like as much as you like between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM. Outside those hours, you do not text at all.

The benefits of using intermittent texting

Having specific periods of the day where you text and reply to a girl’s messages does the following:

  • It stops you checking your phone all the time
  • Frees up your mental thinking space as you are not always thinking about texting her
  • It has a powerful effect of creating mystery and intrigue as she will wonder why you are not always available

This is an effective strategy for texting as it frees up the rest of your time. And additionally, you will come across as more confident and attractive to the girl that you are in dialogue with.

Moreover, it also sets up your relationship the right way from the start.

Therefore allocate yourself specific periods of the day where you are free to text.

In my infographic below you will find a full guide to my best text messaging strategies.

You can also read my how to text women article.

11 fun and effective ways to flirt over text message with a girl you like

How to make a girl smile over text?

One thing that you can do to when texting a girl that you like is take a guess at what she has been doing with her day.

So you point out: “I bet that you have been doing this today…”

This is a great alternative to asking her boring and mundane questions. It will also be contrasting to the general text messages that most guys send.

Taking a guess makes the interaction more fun for you both because it is interactive and engaging.

For example:

  • If she says she is out having coffee with friends, you can say, “Send me a photo.”
  • If you want to be a bit more adventurous you can send her a photo of what you are doing and then say, “Beat that.

Additionally, this will also help stop you from falling into validation-seeking behaviours.

When to use emojis in your texts?

If you are going to use emojis, limit it to one or two per message until you can gauge how they are received.

Similarly, if she is not using any emojis in her messages then perhaps stick to one.

However, if she is using two or three, then it is a sign that you can build a bit of a connection and have a little bit of fun with your emojis.

As per the image below we can teach you how to talk to any woman in person and via your text messages.

To find out more about our tuition then you can visit our live training page to see the courses that we offer.

A model next to three ways Social Attraction can help you in speaking to women in person and via text

How many text messages should I send a woman?

When texting a woman that you like it is important to remember that you are looking at meeting her again in person.

So keep in mind:

  • Your intent is to meet her for a physical date as soon as possible
  • What you don’t want to do is spend hours and hours messaging her for no reason

Consequently, remember that at some point, you have to ask a girl that you like for a date.

Furthermore, don’t leave it until 50 messages before you bring up the subject of going on a date.

If she doesn’t want to go on a date with you then, trust me, sending a mountain of messages is not going to make any difference.

She will already have formed her opinion of you based on your initial meeting. Indeed, it is that initial meeting that will determine whether she wants to see you again.

The image below was taken from a course I hosted in London on how to keep a conversation going with any girl that you have met.

Watching this video will help you make an impactful first impression. It is 80 minutes long so save the link and watch at a convenient time.

Gary Gunn with two models on a dating confidence course aimed at continuing a conversation with women

Can I build attraction via text message?

Building attraction via text messaging is only possible if you have made a positive and notable first impression on a girl in person.

In fact, if you try to be funny or try too hard to build a connection via your messaging – without having made that initial positive first impression – then it is going to come across as mechanical or forced.

Women are typically going to be able to see through that.


  • You are better off being genuine in your messages and asking for the date sooner
  • If she doesn’t respond then it is a clear indicator that you didn’t do enough when you first met her

What I mean by that is perhaps you could have spent another five minutes connecting with her in that initial first meeting.

Or perhaps there was an opportunity to organise a date when you were with her.

What I would say here is do not feel disheartened because in today’s dating arena everyone gets rejected at some point. It is simply a natural part of the dating rituals in the times that we live in.

It is with this spirit in mind that I designed the following infographic to help you in handling rejection from women. I suggest also reading my how to handle rejection with women article as this will help you.

3 ways to cope with rejection from women via text and face-to-face

How to organise a date over text message?

I appreciate that it is not always possible to arrange the first date with the girl that you like when have just met.

If you weren’t able to formulate the details of your next meeting then remember your intent is to meet up with her as soon as possible.

Having this intent:

  • Saves you time and effort
  • Allows you to be more mindful with your messaging
  • Stops you from sending unnecessary or pointless messages

What to text a girl you like to know if she wants to go on a date?

Therefore when you bring up the subject of going on a date over text message be conscious of her response:

  • If she replies saying: “I can’t do that” or “That doesn’t work for me,” without suggesting an alternate time this is an indicator that she is not really interested in you
  • However, if she says: “I can’t do that, but I’m free on Tuesday or Thursday” or “When are you next back here?” This is a clear indicator that she is genuinely busy and would like to see you

To reiterate if she simply says, “I can’t do that time” and doesn’t offer another suggestion. At that stage, it is unlikely that she wants to see you.

If you wanted to test that, you could reply: “Are you going to suggest another time?” which is a reasonable and effective way of finding out whether she is invested in seeing you again.

I would always advocate being honest and upfront in your dating interactions. If the girl is not into you or you are not into her then being open and honest is a better way to conduct yourself.

It saves you both time, which is an asset in today’s busy world.

As per the image below we can teach you to recognise the signs of sexual attraction. This will help save you even more time when dating.

To find out more about our training please see our live training page.

Model standing next to three signs of sexual attraction


  • Organise the first date when you are in the physical presence of the girl that you like. This will save you time, effort and energy in your messaging.
  • Use intermittent texting to ensure you only text at specific times in the day. This is a powerful and healthier way to message.
  • Make fun assumptions about how she has been spending her day. This is a more interactive and engaging way to text a girl.
  • Have an intent of meeting up for a physical date as soon as possible. This is preferable to sending an abundance of purposeless messages.
  • Make an impactful first impression on her when you meet her. This is what will make her want to go on a first date with you.
  • Be mindful of a girl’s response when you ask her out on a date. If she declines without offering an alternate time or date then accept that she is not interested in meeting up.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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