How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

dating coach London dating coach London dating coach London

How To Text Women – Intermittent Texting

Written by Social Attraction - Specialist courses helping you get better with women

Intermittent texting is about taking control of our dialogue and putting the necessary boundaries in place to manage our mental wellbeing.

The idea is that we only text women back during allotted slots throughout the day.  Being less available is not only a highly alluring character trait, it also allows us to relax during long periods of our day where we can remain uninterrupted in working towards our goals.

Once we begin utilising intermittent texting with women and start to see the results, we can then push this further into our lifestyle with all of our digital interactions.

Step 1 – 3 x 1 hour windows

Initially we need to get used to only responding to text messages in set hours throughout the day.

This will feel uncomfortable at first; but very quickly we begin to feel a sense of ease because we’re only “available” at set times, so can relax more during our day to day activities.

Example times are:




Step 2  – 2 x 1 hour windows

Once we are comfortable using intermittent texting we can then go one step further and put bigger boundaries in place to ensure we are more relaxed and less “available”.

What we find at this point is that we are less reactive to the digital world and more relaxed and able to respond with logic and thought.

Example times are:



Step 3 – 1 x 1 hour window

This is the holy grail of text messaging; one solid hour to respond to any messages.

Just imagine the control we can generate in our dialogue with the world; to build from this solid foundation to set more boundaries in place for the rest of our daily activities.

Example times are:


Text Messaging Grammar

Bold – emphasises a word. 

This is a really good tool to add some depth to our online conversations.

“Hmm… I’m not convinced that you can handle a 5k run.”

“Italics with inverted commas” – for quoting someone.

This can be utilised for quoting something they have already said, or we can take a quote from a famous person to add some humour into the interaction.

So rather than replying literally to their messages, we can reply with a fun quote.

Girl – “So do you think your event will be a success?”

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Albert Einstein

Girl – “I’m trying to remember everything for my exam tomorrow.”

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” Albert Einstein

(Brackets) – include information which isn’t necessary to the main point.

These are really good to use if we can’t fit what we are trying to say into the main flow of the interaction.

“I bet that you’re going to study Economics at University (not that you currently know anything about it)”

“I’ll meet you at 1pm (by the café where we met)

Exclamation point – indicates a strong emotion!

Only use one! If we use too many it comes across as harsh and try hard!!!! One is powerful when implemented correctly.

“I highly doubt that!”


Ps – Is an afterthought.

This is great to inject some humour in to the interaction especially when we’re organising a date.

“I can do Monday at 6pm or Wednesday at 7pm for cocktails; which one works best? Ps we both know you’ll only be able to handle one!”

“Sure sounds good. P.s I expect I’ll be 10 minutes late as usual.”

Top 10 Messaging Strategies

1. Questions game to get to know each other

This is a great game to play to allow us to get to know women in a simple and easy manner. The game is also great for first dates and can be played in group settings.

It can be played on Tinder at the start of new conversations and also act as a bridge between real life meetings. Remember when playing this game via text, we also want to ensure that we are implementing the rest of our text messaging strategies.

“Let’s play a fun game; there’s only 3 rules …

Rule 1 – You ask me the first question

Rule 2 – I ask you one back

Rule 3 – It can’t be the same question that we ask each other.

Ok you can start …”

2. Making statements to add value to the dialogue

The main point here is not to enter interview mode by asking women loads of questions.

Questions tend to turn women off as they’ve probably been asked the same ones hundreds of times already.

Some questions are ok; but generally speaking statements are more powerful and ensure we are adding value to the conversation.

“I bet you’re from Greece”

“You seem more boring than adventurous”

“I bet you’re into yoga!

3. Not answering questions to build mystery and intrigue

The aim here is not to be controlled in dialogue.

Anytime a girl ask us a question we can utilise the principle of being vague and mysterious. (there is a great example below in the screenshot area)

The important part to remember in all conversations is to lead and not to follow. This means that we don’t do as we are told and we go against the grain. In my experience this leads to flirting and is the inception of creating sexual tension.

“Where are you from?”

“I’ll give you three guesses”

“It begins with an E”

“I’m surprised you can’t work it out.”

4. Conversation threading to convey our most attractive traits

Ideally when we are living information to women via text messages we need to ensure that we are building our value in the interaction.  We should imagine the conversation to be like a log fire that needs feeding with more fuel.

The fuel that we add is anything that conveys intelligence, creativity or leadership. We also need to  ensure that we are not negative or judgemental as this tends to highlight our insecurities and turns women off.

“That reminds me of when I was last in Barcelona and did a walking tour; the guide was really funny too.  I bet you’ve never done a walking tour…”

5. Role plays to add a different texture to the interaction

Role plays are a great way to keep the flow of an interaction between real life meetings.

Our aim is to keep the fire burning by using some fun emotional dialogue; see the David Bowie example screenshots below for a full example.

We can also use role plays for future projections as a way of building an emotional connection with women.

6. Three dots for mystery…

Three dots are the best way to add mystery and depth to our messages…

They allow us to keep the dialogue open and for women to interpret our message as they see fit. When we employ mystery it keeps the fire burning and allows women to respond quicker as they can never be too sure what we mean.

Utilising three dots also makes it easier for women to reply to our messages without asking them direct questions.

“I bet you’re a psychologist…”

“I’m not convinced you’re fun on a night out…”

“Hmmm I’m not convinced…”

7. Correcting their spelling to initiate flirting

Anytime a girl makes a spelling mistake or an obvious grammatical error then it’s really fun to point it out; the reason for this is because we are conveying our intelligence by illuminating their error.

Be careful though, because if we then make an error ourselves be prepared for a girl to highlight it right back to us.

“It’s “their” not “they’re””

 “I think you’ll find it’s “tomorrow””

“Your last message made no logical sense.”

8. Dictionary definitions to be playful

This is a powerful tool if a girl uses an unusual word; just give a definition of her most emotive word.

I just copy and paste the google dictionary definition as below. It usually generates a fun response from women.


fond of games and amusement; light-hearted.

“a playful tomboy who loves to dress up”

synonyms: frisky, jolly, fun-loving, lively, full of fun, high-spirited, spirited, in high spirits, exuberant, perky, skittish, coltish, kittenish; More

“he gave me a playful punch on the arm”
intended for one’s own or others’ amusement rather than seriously.

giving or expressing pleasure and amusement.

“the ballet accents the playful use of movement””

9. False choices to set up dates.

Ideally we want to set up a future date when we are physically with a girl for the first time.

If this is not possible then we are able to utilise false choices to allow women to select one of two potential date times.

We want to make it easy for women to agree to see us again in person; so by limiting the options to two choices, we are making it very easy for the girl to commit to seeing us again.

“I’m free Saturday for a coffee at 3pm or can do cocktails Tuesday at 7pm; which one works best for you…”

“I’m going shopping on Saturday at 11am and the Tate Sunday at 2pm; join me for one …”not both though 😊)”

10. In response to an emotive question

This is my favourite part of text dialogue; we only tend to ask questions when we want to know more about someone.

So when women ask us questions, we can be playful with our response and withhold the information that they desire. This is the most powerful tool to get women to become more invested into our interaction.

So when women ask us a questions, we can use this opportunity to be playful and allow the interaction to flourish.

“I’ll give you three guesses…get it right and the first cocktail is on me…”

“I’ll give you three guesses…get it right and the coffee is in me.”

“I’ll give you three guesses…get it right and I’ll take you bouldering.”

Our Most Popular Videos

Our Training Courses

Live Training CoursesOur Digital ProductsVirtual Reality Coaching