Think And Grow Rich With Women | A Step-By-Step Guide

Think And Grow Rich With Women | A Step-By-Step Guide

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

Okay, and welcome back to today’s episode, where we’re going to be looking at a book titled Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Now this book changed my life. This was the book that inspired me to take control of my life after I had a pretty horrendous car accident and my life really was going into depression and spiralling out of control.

So when I read this book, it gave me the inspiration to actually change my life and it culminated when I was on holiday in a sauna and I relaxed my mind and up popped one of Napoleon Hill’s suggestions and I acted on it. And the rest of my life has come from that one initial moment, where obviously it’s led me to be doing this podcast.

So this is a hugely important book. I also reread it recently, over a decade after I first read it, and everything that he was suggesting, in my experience, has pretty well come true. There’s been ups and downs, obviously, it’s not a straight road. But a fascinating book. Every single person in my experience in the world that wants to better their life should read this book.

I’m going to outline to you now just going through the different chapters, how this can influence your life, but also relating it to women as well. And then I highly recommend that you go away after this episode and you read it because there’s some real wisdom in there.

I mean the book came about because Napoleon Hill basically went and studied the most successful people in the world and then wrote a book about what he’d learned and it was very different to what he’d been led to believe. Obviously, nowadays there’s a lot more information on success than what was available. But this book’s really like the Godfather of success and is certainly the best book I’ve ever read when it comes to success. And as I say, the impact it made of my life.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – The power of thought

But let’s begin with chapter one, where he talks about the power of thought and what hits me in this section or it did when I first read it, is that thoughts actually exist.

So yes, they are part of your inner dialogue, but everything happens because of your initial thoughts. So that’s interesting to think about, right? When you do think about things, that’s really the inception of ideas. It’s where creativity comes from and if you act on a thought, then obviously it does become real. And I think that was the, I’m not sure which version it is, but he talks about Walt Disney and how he died before it was made and one of his relatives, they asked him if Walt would have been upset? And he said, “Well of course not.” He’s seen it in his mind every day, that’s why it’s here.

And obviously that whole idea would have started just in his mind. So that’s an interesting concept that thoughts do exist and there is something that we can do about them. Now the second chapter is about desire and he believes that this is really the most critical part of anything in your life. And it comes by having a definitive purpose, right? So it’s okay to have a thought, but you need to transgress that into a desire, which is something that you absolutely care about and you have a real burning sensation to have it, to be a success. And having a definitive purpose is certainly something which I ascribe to. Everyone’s is unique.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – A definite purpose

I mean you don’t have to share them with other people. But having something, which is an overall desire or an overall purpose, which you can link the rest of your life around, is hugely practical and beneficial in your life.

And it cuts through a lot of the nonsense about how you spend your day. Because actually, you have something specifically written out about what you’re going to do. In chapter three, he moves to talk about having faith and even when all of your life is falling around, which happened to me. He talks about how you can spend half an hour a day thinking about how you can move closer to your success.

And certainly, for me, reading gave me the faith. So my half an hour a day was spent reading, but also visualising, meditating, asking, not really asking, but I guess reading from successful people, who had faith in the past and see what it was. Because actually, you have this and when I was younger I thought that these successful people were just successes overnight. And it’s just absolute nonsense, when you start looking at the data and the facts and real information, these people typically had huge faith in what they were doing and huge belief and taking time each day to actually think about that enables you to kind of create that real burning desire to what you actually want to achieve.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – The power of visualisations

When I was visualising, a really good technique that I found was, for my presenting, wasn’t necessarily to visualise myself when I’m presenting. But what I did instead, I would visualise the other people in the audience reactions, almost like turning the camera on them. I found that to be amazing because it actually took the pressure off me and allowed me to present much better.

But visualising impacting people’s lives as I do with this podcast, visualise people listening to it and hopefully getting through to them, enabling them to develop their lives. So that was an interesting chapter.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Autosuggestions

Then he goes on to talk about autosuggestion in chapter four and he talks about different methods of going about it. But basically what he’s really saying is to instil the belief that you can do it. And one way that you can do that is just by writing out every morning or to autosuggest to yourself, think about yourself having already achieved what you desired. So what you’re doing is you’re autosuggestion to your subconscious mind that you can achieve something. So if we’re going to relate this to dating, we can talk about visualising yourself in a relationship with the exact woman that you would like to date.

And if you can add some emotional intensity to your visualisations, like feel how you would feel and really embrace it, then that is going to add to your ability to really focus in it because what you’re really doing is training yourself to move towards positive and good emotions. So autosuggestion being extremely relevant. Chapter five, he then moves on to talk about having specialised knowledge. So he explains that there’s a difference between education and knowledge and I’m definitely ascribed to this. I mean, I don’t word it the same way he would specifically, but when you have loads of knowledge, but you don’t know what to do with it, it’s like, well what’s the point in having it?

You have to be able to put it to use. So he talks about seeking specialised knowledge in what you want to do. And he talks about going to libraries, training courses, universities. Nowadays we have podcasts like these, we have a lot of information online, where we can get specialist knowledge. So nowadays more than ever, the specialised knowledge that we need is available. So specifically if you wanted to date and get better results with women and become more confident. This would be a specialist knowledge podcast that will enable you to do that.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Seeking the right counsel

So you’re seeking the right counsel, as opposed to just asking your mates what they think because typically, what do they really know?

You really want to be going to the experts and listening to what they say, which is why I love reading the classic writers and I do podcasts on, I’ve just done one on Seneca for example because the writing is so good and I just love it. I find it fascinating. He then moves on to talking about, in chapter six, about having an imagination, which is basically dreaming up what you would like for your future and vastly imagining it as a child would. If you ask a kid, they have real majestic ways of looking at the world and really embracing them. But typically as we get older, we get pushed down with the burdens of life and our imagination goes.

One way I found effective of bringing mine back up, so I watched Hook with Robin Williams about Peter Pan, that grew up and lost his imagination and how he got bored and became an insurance salesman and that’s quite some shift from being Peter Pan, right? So part of the Spielberg film was about getting Peter Pan to get his imagination back and then all of the wonderful things that happened from it. So if you are going into meditation or visualising what you want in your life, don’t be afraid to have a wide imagination about what it is that you want. And go with it because the more positive emotions that you can give to your imaginations, the better they’re going to be and the better you’re going to feel in the moment.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Organised planning

So that’s a great one. Then he goes on to talk about organised planning, which if you asked me about five years ago, I’d be like, “Oh my God, planning is so boring.” But actually, with the correct organised planning, you can really start to achieve a lot in your life. And this comes down to organising a date.

So typically, rather than just going to have drinks at one cocktail bar, perhaps there’s somewhere else where there’s something a bit more engaging you can do. They’ve got a different type of cocktail, then there’s like a crazy golf place next door, then there’s something else that you can go and do together.

Organising and planning based on your previous knowledge and experience, is going to make you get better results with women. And it’s the same on a night out. I mean, if you’re planning on going out to meet women, then typically you don’t necessarily want to be arriving at a bar at 7:00 PM, right? Because that’s not the buzz time. So organise and planning your dating strategy is going to have a big difference. Also, you could plan what gym you’re going to go to, what time you’re going to go there. You can really start to plan your life and how your dating can revolve around it. The more time you give to organising that, the better results you’re going to get.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Decision making

Then he goes on, in chapter eight, to talk about making decisions and he says that basically procrastination is one of the biggest reasons why people fail. And if we relate this specifically to meeting women, you walk down the street and you see an attractive girl, but we procrastinate, “Do I approach her? Do I not?” And this leads to anxiety and tension and it’s not really good for your mental wellbeing either. So actually Napoleon Hill talks about making a decision. So either you’re going to do it or you’re not and definitely with dating, I definitely subscribe to that notion. If you’re going to see an attractive girl, either go and approach her or don’t. But don’t procrastinate because that’s just going to make things 10 times worse.

So making decisions is really going to impact your dating life. Chapter nine, he talks about persistence, which again is… he gives the example of Thomas Edison failing 10,000 times at making the light bulb. When we think about being persistent in our life, I think there’s a difference between persistently going after one girl and trying too hard and persistence when you’re developing. So I think that if we are going to persist to make our lives better, then keeping some kind of track on that, to keep what exactly are we doing and how are we improving? So keeping a daily journal of what did I do right and how can I improve that? Then that allows you to be persistent, but also to learn from your lessons because we can all be the hamster running around the wheel and not getting anywhere.

Yes, he’s being persistent but he’s not really achieving anything in his life. So I think as long as your learning your lessons that we can all become better at being persistent and sticking to our goal. And obviously, the most specific our aspirations are, the more faith we have with them, the more we visualise them, the more we imagine ourselves doing them, the more likely we are to remain persistent in attaining them. Then he goes on, in chapter 10, to talk about the power of the mastermind and he talks about having, I mean this has been looked at thousands of times since. But I think it’s either him or someone similar, talks about having six people, all with individual skillsets, sat around a room, once a month and discussing ideas.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Masterminding

And he’ll believe that this created a mastermind or a collective conscience, where for 20 minutes or so you discuss what you want to do and people just throw ideas. What he believes is that when you’re around that type of energy, that you have access to thoughts of a collective conscience. And some might say, even not just the six people there, but you’re actually tuning into the collective consciousness of everyone that’s ever lived. So Hill was a big advocate of saying that you can achieve anything and every thought is out there for you to tune into so that the mastermind really can enable you to do that.

And if you haven’t heard of this concept before, it may seem a little bit left field. But if you try it with some friends, it is actually really good. I mean I found it to be fascinating because you do come up with some ridiculous ideas, but there are one or two bits where you change your perspective on something and it really allows you to look at things differently and certainly on my courses, when we get enough people there, it’s like a mini mastermind group of everyone’s thoughts were on the same goal. That certainly enables me to channel my lessons better. So a mastermind, in specific areas of your life, can be very, very beneficial.

He then talks about the mystery of sexual transmutation in chapter 11, which as a guy, is something that we need to be aware of because we have a lot of testosterone. Typically I think guys, the stats about how often we think about sex and it is quite high. I think that unless you have specific guidance on what to do with your sexual energy, it could lead to the demise of your life in very bad ways. So for example, being very desperate, being very try-hard, sleeping with women who you don’t find attractive, not knowing that it is an energy and that you can channel it and transmute it to create affluence and better things in your life.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Channelling energy

So typically, people or guys aren’t very comfortable with the feeling of sensual tension in their body. By the way, this is, if you’re listening to this podcast, this is the bit, if you’ve tuned out, tune into this bit because this is huge and life-changing, right? The feeling of sexual tension in your body is an energy and typically, guys don’t know what to do with it. And when we misuse it, sometimes if guys are going to, rather than have sex, if they’re going to do it solo. When you do that too often, just to get rid of the tension in your body, typically, you lose one-third of your daily energy every time you ejaculate.

So putting that into perspective, you can see how much energy you’re wasting if you’re going about it that way. Now what Hill suggests you do, is you transmute this sexual energy into success in your life. So, you have this energy there, but you channel it and there’s a big movement online at the moment about NoFap, which you can look up if you want to know. But it’s basically the same, it’s about channelling your energy and only having sex a certain amount of times per week or per month and not basically ejaculating at any other time. So channel it and I think Muhammad Ali was famous for abstaining from sex and channelling his energy before his fights.

And certainly, there’s an argument for abstaining from anything in life. Whether it’s thought through meditation, whether it’s when you’re fasting, when you’re eating or when you’re having sex, there’s a certain value that comes from not giving in to your impulses and channelling that energy. Again, I think that visualise it if you are a highly sexual guy, a visualisation of that energy moving around your body to other areas, where you can use it more effectively is beneficial. Another way of using your sexual energy is just to keep yourself busy. So keep yourself working towards your goals, where you’re either at the gym or you’re reading or you’re doing things where you’re not in a position to do anything other than channel your sexual energy.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Your subconscious mind

So moving on, he talks about, in the next chapter, talks about the subconscious mind, which is about harnessing the power of your subconscious mind. He basically says that a lot of your ideas come from your subconscious in an idea and that your mind, it then basically pops up. I mean, we’ve all had this, where you’re thinking about a problem or someone’s name and you can’t come up with it and then, later on, your in the shower and it instantly pops up.

That’s the subconscious mind that’s giving you the information you need and Hill basically believed that the answer to all of our questions is available via your subconscious mind. So in a nutshell, if you can be more relaxed during your day-to-day activities, you are more likely to be in tune with your subconscious mind. Specifically why most people are more creative in the mornings or why we come up with ideas when we’re in the shower or when our mind isn’t running a hundred miles an hour because we’re allowing ourselves the situation where our subconscious mind can actually feed us those ideas. And it’s a really interesting concept and idea. I find the subconscious mind to be in our infancy of really understanding how it works.

But if you are looking at achieving success, specifically with women, you can put questions out there, just before you go to sleep think, “Okay, how am I going to do this?” And then when you wake up in the morning, typically you’ll have an answer or two on how to do that. We actually, in Hill’s later chapter, we talk about how you can actually push that a little bit further. But that’s the subconscious mind. In the next chapter, Hill talks about the brain and he said basically he believes it to be a broadcasting system, right? So like a radio is, but the brain is interlinked with everyone. So there is a collective conscience around the world and he talks about yin and yang and like attracts like.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – The collective consciousness

But basically our minds and our brains, they each resonate at a specific level and you can tune in to any frequency you want. So if you wanted to be attractive enough to attract a specific girl or a type of girl, he talks about that you can tune in to the subconscious mind or to the world and understand what you need to do, to be able to do that. And this is kind of fundamental to a lot of his teachings, is that thoughts really exist and do we come up with them ourselves or are we just accessing the collective consciousness? I mean, following on from that, it’s an interesting idea just to think that you’re not ever alone and you can potentially tune into different people’s ideas and different people’s concepts, just by meditating and just by relaxing.

And it’s extremely thought-provoking, and certainly helped me in my life when I don’t really know what to do, typically I’ll just ask myself when I go to sleep and then when I wake up in the morning, I’ll have some kind of idea on what to do next. Now, moving on to a really interesting chapter, Hill talks about the sixth sense, which is in a nutshell, a gut feeling or our intuition. And he said it’s important that we’re able to tune into it and that we listen to it. Sometimes in life, we have a rational decision and an emotional decision and I think it’s important to always go with your intuition. In my life, I can certainly say that over the past decade, the decisions where I’ve just gone with my gut instinct and I’ve had no logic behind it, but I knew it was the right thing to do, have turned out well.

And when I’ve gone against my gut instinct and I’ve been like, “No, I’m sticking to my plan, this is what I’m going to do.” Typically things go wrong and giving you another analogy when I turn up to present at my events, I plan meticulously. When I turn up, typically I’ll throw away my notes and just go with the flow because my intuition is telling me that the people there need to understand and learn something different to what I previously planned. Chapter 15, he talks about how to outwit the six ghosts of fear. So I cover fear in loads of my podcasts and I find that again, I mean, I’ve mentioned this many times, we might as well go through it again. He thinks that there are six fears, poverty, old age, criticism, illness, love and death.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Master you fears

I expect to go through each of those in their own individual podcast. But what he really believes is that you have to be able to master your fears in order to grow and to achieve your success. So for example, if you are scared to approach a girl, how can you be able to visualise yourself dating that type of girl in the future? So you have to overcome that fear to be able to see something in the future and Buddhists actually talk about this. They talk about a concept called living through your karma, which is the concept that if you say, “Oh I want to go travelling and I want to do a skydive.” What Buddhists believe is that until you’ve done them, you can’t really see what’s behind it.

So you have to live through that karma of your life to see what’s behind it. And this is so true of, I mean, oh my God, on my training courses, when I get my clients and they won’t go and approach a girl and I get them to do like a mapped out visualisation. I get them to look past their fear and it’s like the whole perspective on the world changes once they’ve overcome it. And typically I’ll get them to overcome it in their mind and once they’ve done it, they can then go and approach and talk to women in the real world. So listen, fear is real, okay? If you are aware that you are scared of something, you should face it straight away.

Don’t hesitate, there really is power in overcoming your fears and it’s really what holds a lot of us back for most of our lives. It’s amazing to actually witness people overcoming their fears as well, that’s such an amazing experience. In the final chapter of Think and Grow Rich, he talks about the devil’s workshop, which is basically things that stop people from being successful in their life. And he says that the evil is stronger and dangerous than the fears. What he means by this is the negative influences in your life. So if you’ve got friends, family, or boss that are negative towards your plans. I mean, if you listen to other episodes of my podcast, you’ll know that I did.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – The fundamental teachings in action

I was in a business where I had huge negativity. I mean, I was actually mentally and physically sick off the back of the amount of criticism I received. When I first started my business, I would put on events and no one would turn up and to the excitement of other people and I really got battered and I didn’t know how to cope. The only thing that kept me going was Napoleon Hill’s book at the time and just to visualise it and hold it into your mind and eventually, it will become true. And if you can see it, then you can achieve it. What the mind can conceive, it can become a reality. I mean these are his fundamental principles, which I’ve certainly found to be true.

It’s not an easy journey, you do go through hell to get there, but actually, you develop into the person that you need to be, to be that person. So it’s like if you are going to set up these aspirations and these goals, be prepared to know that you’re probably going to go through hell to get there. And certainly as you mature and you get older and you face your fears and you get rid of negative influences and negative people in your life, things do become easier. There are lessons out there that we can learn by reading such literature as Think and Grow Rich.

I think that’s kind of the summary of the book, but just from my own personal experience of the book, I mean, I’ve recommended that book to so many people. I used to buy everyone a copy when they first came to me for their coaching because it just means so much to me personally.

Think And Grow Rich With Women – Start reading and listening

And I think whenever I’m struggling or if I’m in need, I can always go back to that book and it’s going to remind me who I was at an earlier time in my life and that I faced some really difficult odds and gone against people that supposedly were experts and knew what they were talking about and followed my intuition and followed my dreams. So if you guys are listening and got to the end of this episode, I’m here to tell you that you can get the girl of your dreams, you can develop your life so that you can really go after and obtain it and get whatever you want.

And yes, you may not be in a position to do that now, but don’t let anyone tell you can’t. If you are surrounding yourself by people that are telling you that, get rid of them in your life, move away from them. I’m not saying permanently, but move away until the attainment of your goal and pick up literature.

Start reading and start listening about how people have gone against unbelievable odds to achieve their dreams and their goals in their life. We can all do it and in Napoleon Hill’s book, he gives you powerful lessons into how you can do that and he’s gone and interviewed so many different people and learned all the lessons.


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