Toxic Shame | The Ultimate Guide (Including In-Depth Video Tutorials)

Toxic Shame | The Ultimate Guide (Including In-Depth Video Tutorials)

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In the first part of this article, I will explain why toxic shame kills intimacy between a man and women.

You will learn some of the drills that I use to help men overcome a lifetime of emotional pain in their dating lives.

In the second section, I have included three video meditation practices from my YouTube channel.

  • These practices will help you to overcome toxic shame in your life
  • The practices range from beginner to intermediate and to an advanced level
  • They are available permanently as a way of helping you to heal from the comfort of your own home

Why Toxic Shame Kills Intimacy

If intimacy is on one side of the coin, then the other side of that coin is shame.

The way in which we grow up in our society, everyone that I have worked with over the years has some level of shame in their life.

The following scenarios are an issue for anyone who suffers from shame:

  • If you struggle with standing close to someone who you find attractive
  • Dealing with intimate moments that may lead to the first kiss

Some people’s shame is a lot stronger than in others. However, when you can overcome that barrier, intimacy becomes reality.

On my dating confidence course for men a few days ago, we did a powerful exercise.

To demonstrate how you can become more intimate by reducing the shame that you feel in your life.

At this particular course, we had attractive models take part. I had clients go through the process of standing closer and closer to one of the models during a role play.

Here is what happened.

As they got closer to the girl, their pitch went up and they spoke faster.

They became more anxious because that feeling of shame was affecting their ability to communicate.

To counter this, I switched the lens of attention.

I said, rather than going higher pitched and faster, I want you to focus on your voice being slower and lower-pitched and more powerful.

After that, a change took place during the role-play:

  • My clients became calmer by simply slowing down their voice
  • By speaking in a deeper voice, step-by-step, they were able to move closer to the women in conversation

In other words, their barrier to becoming intimate was reduced. That intensity of shame was reduced because they were facing it head-on.

To become more intimate you have to overcome shame.

Similarly, the same way to become calm, you have to overcome your fears.

After my clients went through this process, we tested it. We had a general conversation where I moved my clients closer and closer to the girls.

They had to let me know the moment that they felt uncomfortable or when there was tension.

This simple role-play diminished their toxic shame.

As a result, they could now hold eye contact with members of the opposite sex.  All of a sudden that toxic shame that they had been feeling their whole life had vanished.

When you are able to reduce that feeling of shame enough to hold eye contact with a woman you can then amp it up by holding her gaze. This is depicted in my infographic below.

If you want to learn how to do this and build sexual attraction with a girl then read my article by clicking on this link – Eye Contact Attraction | The Power Of Eye Sex (what you need to know)

Simple guide to seducing her with your eye contact once you have conquered toxic shame

How To Heal Toxic Shame (A Beginner’s Guide)

In this video below, Gary Gunn demonstrates a very powerful meditative practice that will allow you to heal toxic shame in your life.

Gary teaches a beginner’s meditation practice that will enable you to access the shame that you feel in your body, and then remove it following his advice:

  • Discover how to stop feeling shame in your life by entering into a meditative state using the three breath technique that Gary teaches in this video. When you use this principle you will be able to reduce negative emotions you feel by entering into the present moment in time.
  • Master how to overcome toxic shame from your past. Closing your eyes and tuning in to where you feel the emotion in your body. In this shame meditation, you will be able to clear the emotional attachments and triggers to the embarrassment you felt in your childhood. So you no longer suffer from your childhood conditioning.
  • Learn how to stop feeling ashamed in your life by following Gary’s YouTube guide. To healing the shame you feel by allowing the trapped energy to release through your system. By using nasal breathing to calm your nervous system and liberate yourself from your past trauma.


How To Remove Toxic Shame (An Intermediate Lesson)

In this video below, Gary Gunn teaches a meditation practice that will allow you to remove toxic shame from your body and your life.

During this intermediary lesson, you will learn how to access the shame from your past, with the intention of removing it using a powerful breathing and awareness technique.

In this video:

  • Learn how to get rid of toxic shame by first entering into the present moment via a breathing technique. Once you are in the present moment you are then able to scan your body and illuminate where you feel the shame in your system. This allows you to focus all of your awareness.
  • Discover how to heal the shame from trauma in your childhood. Thinking about the first time that you felt ashamed or disgusted. The next step is to allow yourself, as an adult, to process that memory. To clear away the toxic associations that you have trapped within your body.
  • Grasp how to stop feeling ashamed of yourself in your daily life. By trying out the full meditation practice covered in this video. It is important to have a beginning, middle and end to your toxic shame meditation. This way you do not carry the practice through to the rest of your daily life.


How To Treat Toxic Shame (An Advanced Tutorial)

In this last video, Gary Gunn teaches an advanced method of treating toxic shame and removing it from your nervous system.

Gary demonstrates a highly developed meditation practice that permits you to access the body language and posture you adopted when the toxic shame first became trapped in your system.

You will learn:

  • Stop feeling ashamed of yourself by treating your original trauma. You will learn why toxic shame is trapped in your body by understanding your body’s flight, fight and freeze response to trauma. Once you are aware that toxic shame is simply trapped in your nervous system you can then neutralise it with Gary’s advanced visualisation technique.
  • Treat the toxic shame that has been holding you back your whole life. You will understand why your shame has been repressing every area of your life from relationships to wealth and even your health. Once you have eradicated toxic shame from your system you will become free to act without strong emotions and negative conditioning from your upbringing.
  • Learn the most advanced treatment for toxic shame that you can use to heal yourself. Gary explains that shame is simply an emotion that is being triggered in your life. Once you learn the technique of self-healing your confidence will grow exponentially. It will allow you to feel calmer and in control of your life.

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