What Women Want In A Man | Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory

What Women Want In A Man | Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

So what do women want in a man?

To be able to answer that question, we have to look at some evolutionary psychology in order to understand from a biological perspective what draws women towards certain men.

Now, Charles Darwin in 1859, published a book titled On the Origin of Species. This is the first time that we had documented evidence about the theory of evolution.

Darwin believed that the animals that were the strongest and most adaptable to change are more likely to make it through to the next generation.

What most of us aren’t aware of is that Charles Darwin published a second book later in his life. Where he spoke about something called sexual selection.

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Sexual selection

Darwin believed that we do not only compete with other species. We also compete within our own species to mate with a highest value member of the opposite sex.

He believed that we have developed aspects such as creativity, music, and art, as ways of showing off our genetics to the opposite sex.

Now when we think about this from the other perspective; namely what are men attracted to in women?

Darwin believed that it was signs of youth and beauty. This makes sense because if you think about it, the make-up industry and the beauty industry is worth billions of dollars worldwide.

Now, why would that be? There is obviously some kind of reason behind why women spend so much money on make-up, on hair, on beauty products and on cosmetic surgery.

It is to show off youth and beauty. Let us now flip the coin back over to what women want in a man as once we understand that women are attracted to good genetics, we can start to think about what it is in our life that is attractive to women.

Good genetics

So are we intelligent? Are we creative? Are we physically big and strong?

Because it is one thing having good genetics, yet it is another being able to show them off.

So you want to be able to be in a position where you are around women who you find attractive. Where you are able to show off your genetics. If we think about this in the real world, sports stars do this all the time.

Musicians do this all the time. Storytellers, writers also do this all the time.

So what do women really want in a man? How can we make this specific to you?  Think about what it is in your life that you are naturally drawn to, that you are naturally talented with.

Most of us have some kind of creativity in our life that if we gave it more time and more hours to flourish. We can become very good at either being creative or being physically big and strong or writing or something that shows off our genetics to women.

The first step is to work out what that is. The second step is to take the first parts of using that in your life to become more attractive to women.

Showing off your talent

Let us play this out: You have now started to become more creative. You are learning to play the piano or play the electric guitar.

Once you are in a position of starting to learn it is also something that you can then start talking to people about. Often it is not a case of being the finished article as if being a guy who shows signs that he is working towards something, is ambitious and excited about the future is attractive.

Women find this appealing as they are not necessarily attracted to a guy who is the finished article.

Women are typically attracted to the guys with the most potential in life and this is important to remember.

You do not have to be the finished article. Rather, you just have to be showing the potential that you can and want to develop in your life.


  • According to Charles Darwin, they want good genetics, The first step towards that is working out what it is about our genetics that is unique and that is good.
  • The second step is to give that area of our life the time it needs to develop.
  • The final step is to put yourself in a situation where you’re able to express your intelligence. Your creativity, or your physique, in a way where you are around the type of women who you find attractive.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is the bestselling author of An Education In (Online) Dating.

He has hosted over 1000 dating confidence courses in the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 courses conducted online.

Moreover, he is the head coach at Social Attraction and leads the team, training and courses.
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